Building Castles On Quicksand
by Rated-R-For-Randomness
Summary: Sequel to 'Confessions of a WWE Diva.' Two people - one committed relationship. But will the past come back to destroy their 'happily ever after' before it can even begin? And is the best friend truly ready to step aside? Edge/OC/Jeff
1. Heart Don't Lie

**A.N. - WOW! It has been a long time since I have been even on this site. Last semester of college and I'm just trying to live it up... and actually graduate. Hopefully, that will happen in May. But back to this story that I about to start. Yes, I am writing a sequel to "Confessions." I debated doing it - even put up a poll to decide if I should - but the results were inconclusive. So I decided that I will write sequels to both of my wrestling stories (the other sequel will hopefully be up before Wrestlemania on Sunday) - as they both won the vote - and will also attempt to write something new. So this is for all of you that wanted the story to continue. For those that liked the ending as is, I'm sorry, but I made it ambiguous on purpose for this very reason. This is only the prologue, just setting up a few of the major changes that have happened between December and July. There will be flashbacks so the important moments that took place during those months will not be forgotten. That being said - I don't own WWE or any Superstars. Thanks to all of the readers! :-)**

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Preparing to move was not as easy as I thought it would be. Maybe it was because I knew that this was the big one – the _living in sin_ variety of moves that would normally make my heart flutter and my body melt. Yet I wasn't getting any of those feelings. I was twenty-five… should be having the time of my life. But instead my whole life was in a total upheaval.

Flopping down on my sheet less mattress, all of the pieces of my existence at the moment framed my discombobulated form. This puzzle had more than one way to be solved and I wasn't sure of how it would turn out. Among the pile of papers and forms were some standout items… the current edition of WWE Magazine, complete with my best friend in a Mission: Impossible-like pose on the cover, the latest state of my financial affairs complete with bank statements, transfer forms, inquires, and residual checks, a few manuscripts that needed editing, a favor for a friend as I was no longer employed at Hachette Book Group. That fact explained the bulk of Tampa and Orlando based newspapers complete with highlights and cross-outs in the job listing sections. There were multitudes of sociological journals containing articles for my own study on professional wrestling. And slightly peeking out from underneath all that clutter – _Modern Bride_ magazine. Cliché I know, but it had a great article on the top trendsetters in the wedding industry. I wanted my wedding to be perfect. I only planned on doing it once… even though it was to be my groom's third.

Piece by piece they made up my current situation which was definitely far from perfect. I thought that I would feel differently when this point in my life came around. I sort of always figured I would get to this place eventually and it was a _huge deal_. I was now committed to be married to Adam Copeland. But why couldn't I be as happy as I should have been? There was nothing emotionally that should have been holding me back!

The past few months had their fair share of bumps, but we made it through stronger than ever. I had yet to get used to him being away so much, but we both figured that this move would help ease some of the burden. One month (May, if I remember correctly), he rarely ever saw his own home because he spent all of his free time in New York with me. It was then that I knew that this really could work. I _wanted_ it to work. I was throwing my whole heart and soul into this relationship because I knew that I had found _my "one"_… the one person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Even though… I wasn't one hundred percent positive that the feeling was wholly reciprocated. Sure, I knew that Adam loved me. He never made me doubt that fact for a second. But there was always the fact that he had been in this same position before… twice to be exact – three times if you count his infamous affair with Amy. And those were the only three long term relationships that I knew about. I was sure that there were others, but I wasn't about to pry, especially when Adam was getting better about opening up and talking with me. Finally, the emotional side was balancing with the physical. If there was something he wanted to say, I was sure he would tell me.

But honestly… _would he_? He's such a complex, confusing, _devilishly devious_ yet charming man who always keeps me guessing. A true romantic at heart is how I see him, but others would think differently. At the top of the list would have to be my best friend. Their relationship was growing warmer by the week (especially now that they were on the same brand), but it was far from even remotely resembling a friendship. I could understand, but it was putting a whole hamper on my happy time. To tell the truth, I had yet to even tell Jeff about my engagement. It only happened a few weeks ago, but still, I usually never held anything back from him. He knew that I was moving into Adam's house… just not the _full reason_ as to why. I just didn't know how to say it. I had tried numerous times, but figured I would wait to tell him in person.

He had enough stuff to deal with in his own personal life. 2008 was definitely not going to go down in the record books as a career year for Jeff Hardy. He had gone through so much heartache and loss this year that I was surprised he was able to get through it as well as he did. I knew he was strong, but pretty much losing everything and having to start over would weaken even the strongest of people. I guess Jeff could be put among them… him and Beth, of course. Their relationship only strengthened in their time of distress and mourning.

And every day that their bond grew stronger, mine and Jeff's suffered. He and Beth were getting back to the way they were when they first ignited their love and Adam and I… well, we were doing what we do best – throwing caution to the wind and making spontaneous yet life altering choices. Because Jeff and I were more than just friends but less than lovers – in an indefinable limbo that never had a true resolution – our relationship took a hit when our love lives began to become more stable. I wasn't worried though. Jeff was always going to be a constant in my life. He was still the one person I knew I could run to with any problem. Yet then again, why couldn't I tell him about my engagement?

Nobody on the WWE roster knew. I hadn't seen Randy and John in months, even though we talked almost biweekly on the phone. John was busy trying to make up for lost time in the ring because of his injury, not to mention that he just wrapped filming a movie a month ago. And Randy... Randy was not only injured at the moment, but moments away from being a father. Tomorrow was the day, I think. Nervous happiness was the only way to explain his disposition at the moment... until the three in the morning crying wake-up calls. Then, I'm sure the Legend Killer will emerge once more. Chris was busy with wrestling full-time and being a family man. A wife, three kids, and a hectic career... I don't know how he does it. The only wrestler who knew was Jay, but he honestly doesn't count. And not only because he isn't a WWE employee, but because he is more of a _brother_ now than a friend. Adam always considered him his brother and that title was working its way into our relationship as well.

Adam was on the road today… even though he wasn't performing because it was a Raw show. Odd yet he wouldn't tell me the reason; just said that he needed to speak with Vince about something. I hoped that it had to do with a change in storyline plans. The marriage storyline with him and Vickie Guerrero was beginning to irritate me more than entertain. It had nothing to do with her and the fact that her lips seemed to be locked with his more than mine as of late. It was more about the feelings that it was bringing out in him.

I swear that the only reason I even have a ring on my finger at the moment is because of the storyline. Ever since their two characters got engaged back in February, Adam has been pushing for a deeper commitment. I went through months of having to explain that I was only beginning my adult life and wasn't ready for that serious type of commitment. Didn't last all that long… five months to be exact. So now that we are engaged and about to become cohabitants, it would seem that everything is totally copasetic between us. But I don't want this marriage proposal to be only because Adam is going through a phase. I wish I could say for certain that it's not, but that would be a lie.

Work has been weighing him down for a few months now. He pretty much carried the Smackdown brand through Wrestlemania. Injuries were plaguing the roster and only now – a few weeks after the Draft – did it seem that he could have some time to rest. I'm sure he wasn't all that happy about losing his belt to CM Punk a few weeks ago, but "Edge" did have it coming. After that hilarious yet heelish promo he gave? Hell, if I didn't have Adam's ring on my finger, I probably would have cheered. It was such an "Edge" move though… so stole his ultimate opportunist shtick for a moment. Anyway, I was actually happy when they took the belt off of him because it could give his mind a rest. With the belt, you put so much responsibility on your shoulders. He definitely needed a break… _I needed a break_.

So for a while it seems as if Adam's WWE world will take a slightly slower pace… as slow as allowable in the company. He has time to concentrate on other things besides being the best champion that he can. Things like the fact he's gaining a roommate… well, more than a roommate, but he already had me as a fiancée. The move to Florida wasn't one that I wholeheartedly agreed with, but with some goading from my blond Canadian charmer, I conceded. It would take a lot of strain off the relationship and hopefully get us on track to a happy life together.

If only I could be free of all of the doubts surrounding my relationship. We made progress, got over the lies and deceit from the past, but still had a long way to go before starting our own happily ever after. And for once, the ball wasn't in my court. This was all on Adam. I was making compromises in my life because he was worth it. Finally, I was able to give him all of my love and truly look at him and know this was the life I wanted. But when I did look up into his eyes, I wasn't sure if I saw the same feelings shining back. I knew that this engagement process was not new to him and I believed that all of this was just left over jitters from the past. Maybe it's hope that this will work out better? Not sure…

My heart belongs to Adam, but whether he is ready for everything that that entails has yet to be seen.

_BUZZ!!!!!!_

I always hated that intercom system. It was definitely one of the perks of leaving this small apartment behind me. It continued to blare and reverberate off of the walls as I groaned. I stumbled up off of my pile of clutter and made it to the panel just as it sounded for the tenth time. I pushed the appropriate button and grumbled a greeting into the speaker. My mind was so jumbled – spinning circles that would never stop – and I wasn't really in the mood to see anybody. My friends from Hachette were angered that I was leaving on such short notice. My family thought I was rushing into a commitment I wasn't ready for. And my other friends of the WWE persuasion were all busy with their own erratic lifestyles.

"_Hardy Boys' Moving Company… at your service_."

Smiling, I pushed the respective button that would allow the North Carolina native entry into the building.

I might not have been in the mood to see anybody, but the one person that _that word_ always excluded was Jeff Hardy.


	2. Handle It With Care

**A.N. - Normal Disclaimer... I don't own WWE and its Superstars. Huge thanks to everyone who has added and more importantly reviewed! _RatedRCouture, sideways anger, SandraSmit19, Hatter-Zombie, HardyxGirl, Kristen, reb, and I luv Jeff Hardy Edge Randy (special shout out for reviewing the original story too!)_ - you all rock my world. I thought it would have taken me a lot longer to get back into the swing of things but because of you all, it's coming back easier than expected. Happy reading!! :-)**

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Friday July 11, 2008  
12:45 PM – New York, New York

"_Hardy Boys' Moving Company, at your service_."

A huge smile formed on my lips as I quickly hit the appropriate buttons to unlock the two complex doors below. I was extremely happy that someone was here to take me from my inner thoughts. And who better than my best friend… well maybe, _Adam_, but I knew that wasn't a possibility. I walked the short distance to my room's exit and threw my door open. I shuffled over to the railing of the small landing in the winding staircase that was my apartment complex's excuse for a hallway and looked down. I smiled as I observed the two figures begin their trek up the stairs.

"How can it be the _Hardy Boys' Moving Company_ if I only see one Hardy Boy?" I asked loudly so my voice would reach the two men still four stories below.

"I am an honorary Hardy Boy for the day," Shannon yelled up to me from still two stories down, flashing both a "Version One" and a "Gun" hand symbol.

I smiled at the blond as I hadn't seen him in quite some time. Since I had become acquainted with my wrestling friends once more, I realized that it was harder to keep up with everyone since I was no longer touring with them. Like Shannon… he was on the road or back in North Carolina working at his tattoo shop. I was here in New York, finishing up all my final commitments and preparing to uproot my whole life to the Sunshine State. We talked on the phone every now and again, but I found myself slightly drifting away from the Carolina Crew. The more serious Adam and I became, the less time there was for my other wrestling friends. Even though hostilities had calmed between the two sides, it was never going to be truly warm. I didn't blame any of them, but it was quite hard to be in the middle of it.

"Matt's with the Raw crew today," Jeff answered from just the floor below. "And I figured that this job needed more than just four hands."

He was definitely right about that one. I was moving the bulk of my belongings into storage, but they still needed to be taken out of the apartment. I couldn't imagine how long it would have taken if I moved everything by my lonesome. Jeff had told me earlier in the week he would try to stop by to help sometime during the day, but I wasn't sure if everything would come to pass. He has had a lot on his mind the last few months and it's understandable that I would take a back seat at times. I knew that his soon to be built house was still in the planning and early construction stages. Talk about a lot of work… yet here he was, willing to lend a helping hand to a friend – even though I seriously doubted he liked my final destination.

"If you need a demonstration, I'd be _more than willing_ to show you how _capable_ my hands are," Shannon said playfully while smirking, making it to the last staircase of the horrid climb.

I don't care if it was only seventy-two steps – it was not a fun trip to take every day. After a long day at work, the climb seemed like seven hundred and twenty stairs! Adam always said it wasn't that bad, but he didn't have to do it every single day numerous times. I couldn't wait to get away from these stairs. My new lodging was a large range house, meaning no staircase. After living in this apartment for over a year, that prospect was definitely heaven to my feet. Maybe that was the reason I relented to the move so easily – just joking… _somewhat_.

"I think I'll pass and just take your word for it," I muttered jokingly as he came to stand right in front of me, pulling me to him for a slightly sweaty hug.

Shannon was certainly a sight for sore eyes. I didn't realize how much I missed all of my friends until we saw each other. Then it hit me and I remembered why I loved my time as a WWE Diva more than I should have. I always had my book next to me on my nightstand. Not because I was arrogant of its success (which was quite surprising to all involved), but because of all of the wonderful memories it held.

"So how many trips are we going to have to make?" Jeff asked, pushing Shannon out of the way to embrace me as well.

I melted into the hold, smiling as Jeff pressed a light kiss to my cheek. I looked up into his hypnotizing eyes and smiled. He really was practically perfect. I couldn't believe that he was being so supportive of my relationship with Adam. Granted, he didn't know how _truly committed_ we had become, but his dislike of my partner seemed to be waning.

"Hopefully not more than one or I might just wave my white flag now," Shannon remarked, breaking me from my concentration on all things that were Jeff Hardy. I turned toward the blond as he grasped the bottom hem of his white wife-beater with both of his hands, pulling it away from his chest in a waving motion that served as his faux motion of surrender.

"It's going to be more than one, I'll promise you that," I said through laughter as I linked my arm through Jeff's and the three of us entered my room. The men were able to survey the extent of the task for the first time and boy, did they seem surprised. They did realize that I was really _moving_, right?

"Fuck! Why doesn't your place have an elevator?" Shannon asked in a sarcastic yet rhetorical manner. "I mean isn't that against the law? And how in the blue hell did you get all of this stuff up here in the first place?"

"Movers… _professional _movers," I said with a grin, clarifying between the rag-tag bunch that we were.

"They've got nothing on us," Jeff muttered, moving away from the lose grip I had on his arm to test out the weight of a few of the already sealed cardboard boxes.

"Yeah except years of experience," Shannon scoffed under his breath.

"Even their _years of experience_ fell victim to those stairs a few times," I said, walking over to my sofa and displaying the missing leg that was replaced by a leather bound edition of the _Complete Works of William Shakespeare_. "Besides, I bet going down is an easier task."

My attempt at quelling some of their dread did not go over so well. They both just shot me looks that told me that they weren't buying what I was trying to sell. This was not going to be a leisure visit. But, hey – Jeff did _volunteer_ for the job. And Shannon… I wasn't exactly sure how he got roped into helping, but I was quite pleased about his presence.

"Why don't we just chuck the boxes over the railing of the staircase?" Shannon posed playfully. Okay, maybe not so _pleased_ anymore. "That would be simple."

"Too simple," I muttered, returning to pack the last few remaining items of my life that were headed to Florida or the storage center.

The large storage locker that I had rented was only a few miles away from Adam's house. That fact helped me cope with the fact that I wasn't going to have all of my belongings with me at the house itself. There wasn't enough room, or so Adam says. He just doesn't like any clutter. The most clutter he has is stacks of books and CDs in his office. Everything else in the house is almost pristine. I didn't know if I could live that way for too long. I wasn't a total slob, just a compulsive pack rat.

Silence prevailed between the three of us. Jeff and I wrapped up a few picture frames and fragile knickknacks in newsprint while Shannon texted up a storm on his phone. I guess he was conserving his energy for the many trips down to the street. He sat on the edge of mattress and I just prayed that he didn't cause more of a mess than it already was. I was saving all of that paperwork for last as it was just going to be thrown in my briefcase. Once the vibrating noise of incoming messages and the pitter-patter of texting fingers had ceased for a few minutes, I knew his attention was elsewhere. I glanced over and was relieved to see him flipping through the pages of the WWE Magazine. _Thank God it wasn't…_

"And what pray tell is this, Ms. Shepherd… or should I say _Mrs. Copeland_?"

I definitely spoke too soon. Jeff and I both stopped working and seemingly gave our full attention to our grinning friend as he fished the bridal magazine from the bottom of the pile. I sighed and turned to look at Jeff, an unreadable expression on his handsome features. I was planning on telling them… especially Jeff. I wanted to do it when I felt the time was right. It was a spontaneous engagement to begin with and only happened a few weeks ago.

Even though our relationship was smooth sailing right now, Jeff and I had had a rocky few months. I was there for support when his own personal tragedy happened in March, but after a few weeks, he shut me out. It was only a month later when he showed up at my door like nothing happened. I knew that everything that had happened to him was still fresh in his mind and that he probably needed time. We picked up exactly where we left off and nothing was ever said about our time apart. I couldn't bring it up and Jeff acted like it never existed. I didn't even think of the time as affecting our relationship. It just gave me more time to spend concentrating fully on my relationship with Adam. Now, I just hoped that this news wouldn't cause another split in our friendship.

"Someone's getting married," Shannon said in a playful, sing-song tone that broke me from my own thoughts. "And let me tell you, these magazines don't help."

"Like you would know," I responded, still holding Jeff's gaze.

There was no change. He was lost in his own thoughts. Even though he could read me better than anybody ever could, I was never able to reciprocate the action. I was always left in the dark when it came to his mind. Adam always told me that no one would ever know what went on in Jeff's mind, but he always wondered what it would be like to visit for awhile.

"As the only one in this room to actually have any experience in this field… I would say I do," he said, as I could hear him intensely flipping through the pages chuckling all the while.

"I know that is what I am going to say," I replied humorously turning to him, responding to his last comment. It seemingly went over both of the males' heads as there was no response. Not like I was expecting any from Jeff. He was still sitting with a blank expression on his handsome features. So I turned back to the grinning reject before continuing with my explanation. "Get it? Say '_I do'_… sorry, just trying to rouse the mood once more."

"When's the date?" Jeff asked gruffly. I turned back to my friend with a questioning look on my face.

"Huh?" I vocalized as I stared at his vacant eyes.

"When are you going to become Mrs. Copeland the Third?" he asked, punctuating every word with a hint of bitterness. I frowned and parted my lips to respond, but the words never got a chance to leave my lips.

"Actually fifth if you want to get technical," Shannon stated happily counting on his fingers as he tried to come up with the right number of serious significant others that my fiancé had complied over the years. It seemed as if he was enjoying his friend's apparent suffering. I wanted to tell Jeff myself, not have himself find out this way. But I guess that is what I got for keeping it from him in the first place. "No, _fourth_. Lita never tied the knot with Edge, did she?"

"We haven't set one," I groaned, turning back to speak to Jeff as Shannon was still lost in his own amusement over the situation. "I don't know if I want to rush things. It's bad enough that I'm going to have to change my whole lifestyle with this move and my up incoming job search."

"How does Mr. Copeland feel about that?" Jeff stated accentuating Adam's name with a sneering tone.

I saw something flash in his irises that startled me. What was with him? He had to have known that my relationship with Adam would progress to this step eventually. Granted, it was a little sudden, but still… I looked at him, searching his eyes with my own, trying to find the reason for the sudden change in attitude. He made no move to speak anymore or respond to my silent imploring. He just waited for my own reply.

"Haven't asked him," I muttered. Jeff just sighed and looked toward the window. I reached out for his hand and grasped his fingers lightly in mine, but he did not turn his head.

"Uh-oh. That sounds like a sign of communication problems," Shannon imparted. I spared a glance his way – seeing how Jeff was ignoring my presence at the moment – and saw a big chesire cat-like grin spreading across his lips. He truly was enjoying all of this… but _why_? Was there something he knew that I was still in the dark about? "Trust me Meemz – you don't want to start your married life off with those kinds of issues. It'll never recover."

"They've always had issues…" Jeff startled me with his response, but I quickly cut him off.

" – That we are working through more and more each day," I replied with a sweet smile, turning to look at my blue haired friend, who had returned his attention to me. My smile made him cave slightly and he returned the gesture slightly. He entwined his fingers of our clasped hands with mine. My smile became even brighter and I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder. "No relationship is perfect, you should know that."

"Yes, but yours is far from it," Shannon answered before Jeff could even try to respond. Jeff picked up a crumbled piece of newsprint and chucked it at his friend in jest.

"Thanks, Shan," I replied while chuckling at Jeff's random mood swings. One second he is seemingly mad at my engagement and then he is defending it? It didn't make that much sense. "I am well aware of that."

"Just checking," he mused, lying back on the mattress and continuing to peruse the contents of the bridal magazine. I lifted my head slightly up off of Jeff's shoulder to look into his eyes. His attention was locked on my own form and I smiled. I couldn't blame him for being a little upset, I guess. He was supposed to be the person I could always turn to.

"Then why did you say 'yes?'" Shannon asked.

It seemed as if he was just trying to break the silence that I was wholeheartedly enjoying. I knew I wasn't going to have answers to all of their questions. I wasn't sure of everything about my relationship, so how in the hell was I supposed to explain it?

"Because I am in love with him?" I answered, never letting my gaze leave my best friend's eyes – especially when he brought his free hand up to brush some stray strands of hair from my eyes. "That trumps all of the issues we may or may not have."

"We going to be invited?" Shannon continued with his questioning. I chuckled, watching as Jeff shook his head with his smile ever growing on his face.

"Of course," I replied, happy with the way that this conversation was progressing. We weren't exactly getting much work done, but this was much more important to me.

"You making Jeff your maid of honor?" he asked through his own laughter.

"Funny, man," Jeff muttered, letting go of his hold on my hand so he could pull me closer to his side. I melted into his form, forgetting all about Shannon and his questions. I missed just being able to spend time with Jeff that I wanted to soak up all of moments we shared, even if they were as small as just being in one's company.

Damn, did I miss my friends. I was moving to Florida which would help me stay in closer contact with the Florida gang – Adam, Jay, Chris, and John were now all going to be close by. One of them closer than the others, of course. But there was still the fact that my best friend and I were finding less and less time to just be together. He needed to spend so much time in Cameron overseeing the construction of his new home.

Besides, Beth was there. He needed to spend much of his free time with her. I knew from personal experience with Adam that this was a must for any relationship to survive. If I didn't see him for a few weeks, I got depressed and moody. I was so depressed once that I thought about just ending the relationship. I loved Adam too much to bear the hurt when he was gone. I knew I was just being selfish, but it was so hard. I never understood how hard it was going to be until I actually went through it. I didn't know if I wanted to live that type of life, but one charming line or bright smile from him and I knew I was just being foolish.

"I think I found the perfect dress for young Jeffery in here."

Both Jeff and I shot Shannon perturbed looks. Yet Jeff took it a step further, rising from his seat to advance on his chuckling friend. He grabbed the pillow from the top of my bed and whacked Shannon a few times. The smaller man fought back and the two began an impromptu wrestling match on my overly cluttered mattress. I groaned as I watched random documents fly and others get squashed.

"Alright, you two," I muttered, rising from my seat to pick up the crumbled papers that were now strewn across the floor. Jeff let go of the headlock he had on his friend and shot me a small smile. I returned the gesture and placed the pile of crinkled papers on an already packed box. "I do want you to be in my wedding though… if you think you can handle it."

Jeff laughed slightly at the final addition to my statement. He stood from the mattress and pulled me to him in a light embrace. He kissed my right temple and stared deep into my eyes. I heard Shannon mumbling a few choices words for his older friend and I stole a gaze his way. He had settled back down in a laying position, continuing to peruse the contents of the bridal magazine. My gaze was brought back to the man in my arms when he leaned down to press his forehead to mine.

"I'll put on a good performance," he mumbled softly – so soft in fact that I doubted even Shannon heard.

He leaned it and captured the side of my lips. My brow furrowed in confusion as I took in his actions. He wasn't exactly acting like Jeff. I thought that he would give me a long talk about how Adam wasn't the right one for me. He had come to accept Adam as more than just a co-worker once more, but he also constantly told me that I could do better. I laughed it off as Jeff just being Jeff, but the fact that he wasn't doing it now? Sort of odd…

"That's a while away to begin with," I told him with a smile. He just nodded his head and let go of his hold on my form. "Nothing will be planned for quite…"

I trailed off as the two of us turned to Shannon once more as he had erupted into a fit of laughter. I reached out and grasped Jeff's hand as I really didn't want them to start wrestling once more. We still had a lot of work to do and I didn't want anything broken before we even started the actual moving.

"Do I even want to know what is so funny?" Jeff asked the laughing man with no real humor in his tone.

"You don't want to know," Shannon replied, glancing away from the page of the magazine to shoot us both a cheery grin.

"Try me," Jeff retorted flatly.

Shannon turned his attention from his friend to me. He started laughing once more, beckoning me over with a wave of his hand. I rolled my eyes and made my way over to him, watching as he pointed to a specific photograph in the magazine.

"Just picturing Jeffery as a blushing bridesmaid," he said as I viewed the dress that he was pointing to with a bewildered grin. I didn't exactly know what he was trying to say.

"That's it!" Jeff grumbled, grabbing the magazine from Shannon's grasp before attempting to tackle him into the mattress.

It didn't go as planned as the blond pushed me into the oncoming spear. I groaned when we hit the padded surface. Jeff looked at me apologetically and I just smiled. He didn't move right away and I began to feel uncomfortable in our closeness – a first for our relationship. Why was I feeling it now? This was no different than some of the other times we had spent cuddling or laying together. Nothing ever came of it, but now… things just seemed different. It was as if the ring on my finger made this part of our relationship wrong or taboo.

I pushed up on Jeff's chest. He seemingly noticed my distress and mumbled an apology. The awkwardness was broken when Shannon whacked his friend with the discarded pillow. He took off running and my best friend followed. I watched them leave the room as I fell back once more on the mattress. I heard the sound of their running footsteps and hoped that they wouldn't disrupt anyone in the building. They certainly were loud.

I looked down at the ring on my finger. It was beautiful, but not all of the feelings that it instilled in me were pleasant. Adam had learned to become comfortable with the relationship that Jeff and I shared. He knew that I cared very deeply for the Cameron native and wasn't going to let go of that love for anything. Yet he also learned how deep my love was for him. I _loved_ them in different ways. I _needed_ them in different ways. But the ring… it seemed to encircle more than just my finger. It was more like a boundary that I could no longer cross. I was Adam's and even the innocent embracing and cuddling of my best friend was beginning to feel wrong.

I let my gaze roam around the blank walls of my studio apartment. I took in the sound of silence and noticed that it had been at least a few minutes since I had heard any signs of life. I groaned, letting all my thoughts slip to my subconscious, and began my search for my friends. I peered out into the hallway and saw that they were nowhere in sight. I took a step out of my door, but hastily went back inside. I learned my lesson the first time and went to grab my keys. The night of sitting in the rain with Adam was one of the best nights of my life. Yet it would have been close to perfect if not for the fact that I locked myself out of the building. I smiled at the memory as I shut my door.

I peered down the winding staircase and tried to gauge if they were down there. I didn't see any movement, and from all the bitching that they (mainly Shannon) had done about the trip up the steps, I doubted they would have ventured downward. Then there was only one other prospect. I walked over to the small staircase that led up to the roof. Sure enough, the door was slightly a jar.

When I made it outside, I spotted both of the men on opposing sides of the roof and seemingly in opposing states of mind. Shannon was speaking animatedly into his cell phone while Jeff sat reflectively on the roof's edge. His positioning reminded me of the last time that we were on this roof together back in December – when my life changed for the better once more. There were of course some noted absences – the cold weather, the rain clouds overhead, and more importantly, Adam.

I made my way over to the ledge and sat down next to Jeff. He continued to look out into the cloudless blue sky, but reached over to grasp my fingers lightly in his. It brought me back to the many months ago and I frowned. I willed myself to pull my hand from his, but I couldn't. It just felt right.

"Why isn't Adam here?"

It was a question I was asking myself, but when it found its voice in Jeff, I knew it didn't hold the same connotation. I continued to watch the sky as I tried to formulate an answer to what he was truly asking. I was too lost in our past and how my equilibrium was balanced sitting between the two men. Now, I was feeling lopsided and lost in thought.

"Shouldn't he be the one helping you with all this shit?"

The second question broke me finally out of the past. I looked over at him and saw that his gaze had fallen to my face. I frowned at him, but didn't turn my gaze. He just surveyed me, waiting for my answer.

"He said he was going to the Raw house show tonight," I said with a sigh. "Needed to speak with Vince about something and heard that he would be there. Not too sure of all the details."

"Oh."

That was all I got in response… that and he turned back toward the heavens above. I groaned and ripped my hand from his grasp. His eyes immediately shot back to mine.

"If you don't want to be here, I'll find another way to get this stuff to his place," I scathed, internally unsure about the reason for the sudden outburst. I was used to Jeff's mood swings. It was just part of his charm.

"That's not what I was implying," he said, his southern drawl becoming less coarse and more soothing. "I just thought that with this being a huge step for you two as a couple and all, he would want to be around to help you."

"He would if he could," I shot back defensively.

"He _could_," he responded defiantly, stressing the repetition of my own claim.

"Please – don't start," I pleaded impassively, even though inwardly I was smiling that my old best friend seemed to be coming back.

This was more like the Jeff Hardy I was used to dealing with – the one who questioned my relationship with Adam with every step we took. It seemed odd that I would want him to be so critical, but to me, it was a way of keeping the connection we had alive. I wasn't ready to move onto another phase in my life without him. I didn't want to lose the best friend who I knew and loved.

"Can I ask you something?"

I smiled and nodded my head. He took a deep breath and turned his body a little so that he was fully facing me. He took both of my hands in his and I didn't think about pulling them away this time.

"Why did you say 'yes?'"

* * *

_Friday June 27, 2008  
12:30 PM – Hachette Book Group: New York Office_

"_So what are your plans for tonight?"_

_Danielle and I were getting ready to leave the office for the day. The great thing about working at Hachette was the fact that every Friday during the summer was a half day. It made the weekend seem that much longer, even if it was only a few hours difference. We were walking through the main corridor heading back to our offices. I hoped that she wasn't busy tonight, as I was in no mood to be alone._

"_Nothing at all. Wanna catch a movie?" she asked and I quickly nodded my head, not even realizing that she was continuing on with her statement. "Or better yet finish our movie marathon that was cut short last night?"_

"_Sure," I replied, confirming my acceptance once more. The eighties movie marathon that we had started was halted when Danielle's ex-boyfriend decided to stop by for a visit. Instead of kicking him out and continuing on with our night, they got into an argument which led to doors being slammed and a more private conversation in her bedroom. That "conversation" led to a more erotic activity that I quickly made myself scarce for. And I thought my relationship had problems, but it did bring up a point… "It's better than sitting around and waiting for Adam to call."_

"_Stop grumbling about that," Danielle said dismissively with a wave of her hand. She was sick of me complaining about how hard the relationship was. According to her, I was the luckiest woman on the planet for being in a relationship with him and constantly reminded me that she would trade places with me in a heartbeat. "He is in the middle of the biggest push of his career. He carries Smackdown week in and week out. That is a lot to put on one person's shoulders."_

"_I realize all of that, Dani. It's just…" I sighed and stopped walking. _

_I had been having serious doubts about the relationship with Adam for quite some time. It was great in the beginning. The winter months flew by. Yet as soon as the Wrestlemania hype set in, I barely saw him… and when I did, he wasn't Adam. He was a shell of the man I loved. He would take red eye flights to try and spend more time with me, but it just put a strain on his in-ring work. He was going to take time off, but I refused to let him. He was not going to leave on my account. I wouldn't let him have any regrets. I was not that selfish, but in my own thoughts on discontent… I guess I was._

"_Maybe I am getting sick of playing second fiddle to his job."_

"_Don't say that," my friend exclaimed, with a whack to my arm for good measure._

"_It's just hard, you know?" I stated, trying to get her to understand my point of view. Being with Adam was great on paper, but in practice, it took a lot of patience. I didn't know if I was mature enough for that style of life. "I'm really… I'm thinking about taking a break for awhile."_

"_You cannot do that do him! You can't do that to yourself! Remember what it was like without him? Remember how miserable you were? 'Cause if you don't, I'm sure there are a few people here that could enlighten you. You can't do it…"_

_I couldn't get a word in as all of her sentences ran together. She kept spouting out the same words – "miserable" being the most poignant. Hell, I was "miserable" without him, but I was just as bad right now. I was so lovesick over him that I couldn't deal when he wasn't near. I felt that maybe I should've tried to get over that, but maybe I was wrong._

"_I don't need a reminder, thank you very much," I told her, slowly starting to walk down the hallway once more. She followed along stride for stride as I continued my explanation. "It's just… I understand why being the wife of a professional wrestler is such a difficult thing."_

"_You're friends with Christian's wife, aren't you?" she asked quickly before I could protest anymore._

"_Yeah?" I said with a small chuckle, finding it humorous hearing Jay referred to by his ring name._

"_Well? There you go," she said definitively with a sweeping gesture of her hand. "They've been married forever and from what I hear from you seem stable and very happy."_

"_Jay's a little different than Adam, both in person and situation," I said, shaking my head. Best friends they might be, but they weren't twins or anything. Sure, they shared a lot of personality traits, but in others, they were night and day._

"_Ooo, you have a crush on your boyfriend's married best friend? That's kinky," she joked with a suggestive grin. It was my turn to whack her as I turned to face my closed office door. _

"_No – I just see why their relationship has lasted," I explained, leaning against the wood frame. She just rolled her eyes as if I was just making excuses, but it was true. "He is just as committed to his job, but knows when to turn it off. Adam on the other hand gets too caught up in everything. He doesn't know how to leave it at the door."_

"_He's the champ!" she said exaggeratedly._

"_No, really? I'm well aware of that fact, but it doesn't explain..." I stopped speaking as I fumbled with the doorknob next to my hand. I twisted it, yet the damn metal would not budge. "Why is my office locked?"_

"_Keys?"_

_I looked down into my handbag even though I knew exactly where they were. I just didn't want to believe that I could have been so stupid._

"_On my desk," I muttered with a sigh. I had locked myself out of my own cubicle-type office. How pathetic is that?_

"_Want me to get the spare?" Danielle offered as I turned to look directly at the locked mass of wood. I could have sworn that I left it unlocked._

"_Sure," I murmured, knocking lightly on the door._

_I heard Danielle's heels continue to click down the hallway as I waited to see if there was any response. All of my friends at the company were accounted for and couldn't be behind the locked door caper. Steven was away on a business trip in San Francisco, Melanie had left Hachette a few months ago, and Danielle was off getting the spare key from the front desk._

"_Hello?" I said as I pounded a little more harshly on the wood. "Someone in there?"_

_No response. I pressed my ear to the wood and heard no movement on the other end. Could I really have been that stupid? Yes, I had proved it a few times in the past. I groaned, kicking the door with my heeled boot in annoyance._

"_Ugh! I'm so not in the mood for this," I muttered turning away from the door._

_In a second's time, I felt a rush of air behind me. Before I could even fathom of turning around, a hand clamped over my eyes._

"_Or this," I groaned, adjusting to the darkness._

_My other senses went into overdrive to compensate for the lack of sight. It only took one deep breath to catch a whiff of a certain someone's distinct cologne. A small smile formed on my lips as I felt myself being cautiously led backwards into my office. I continued to silently be led as I heard the click of the door and the lock be secured once more._

"_Okay, this is not as humorous as you may think it is," I said chuckling, but he did not let his hand drop from my eyes. I brought my hands up to his and tried to pry it off, but it would not budge. _

"_I thought you had a show tonight?" I asked, but the only reply was silence. I dropped my hands from his and crossed them over my chest. "Don't answer me; that's fine."_

_There was still silence between us, but I could tell that he was doing something. I tried to move my head away from his hand, but there was no relief from his grasp. I chuckled at his attempt at secrecy. He had to have known that I knew who it was. I'm not that out of it, but it didn't mean that I couldn't have a little fun to show him how silly he was being._

"_You're pretty stupid for showing up here," I said suggestively, leaning back into his strong chest. I let my hands fall to my sides and run down the sides of his own chest, playing with the hem of his shirt. I felt him stiffen slightly against me and grinned. "What if someone tells Adam?"_

"_Cute, beautiful."_

_I knew that would get him. I let my hands drop once more as I continued to try to get out of my boyfriend's hold. I couldn't understand his motivation – I knew who it was yet he still kept my world in darkness?_

"_Okay, so now that your surprise is found out, can I see again?" I asked, vocalizing the confused thoughts that were running through my mind._

"_Not quite ready yet," he responded. _

"_Ready?" I asked, furrowing my brow. What could he be doing in my office? The little cubicle could barely fit my desk and two chairs comfortably. It wasn't the ideal spot for a romantic rendezvous and he knew full well about my office's summer policy. Why would he want to spend any more time than he had to here? " Baby, what are you…"_

_He let his hand fall away from my eyes. I blinked rapidly, my pupils adjusting to the glow of light. I gasped as my eyes focused on the collage of photographs before me. I stepped forward and ran my fingers over the large work. They were pictures from every stage of our relationship – from barely friends to where we were now. Adam knew how much of a sucker I was for photographs. If not for my love of writing, I would have been a photographer. It was a big part of what made my "Confessions of a WWE Diva" such a success. There was not only the text component, but the candid photographs and personal look at the life. _

"_I've been working on it for awhile," Adam said smoothly, but I refused to take my eyes away from the montage._

"_It's amazing," I murmured, continuing to visually survey every photo and recall the memory that it provided. Some were much more pleasant than others, yet I wanted to relive them all. It was our past, no matter how rocky it was, and it made us the couple we were today. "I can't believe it. Must've taken forever."_

"_Now you know why I bailed on our plans last week," he said with laughter, yet still not making any move for physical contact._

"_Sorry about bitching you out on the phone," I muttered chuckling, knowing how I had given him a hell of a time when he had to cancel his trip to New York. _

_That was one of the reasons that I was mulling over breaking off the serious relationship we had. I didn't think he was as committed as he wanted me to believe. This display of affection told me otherwise and I felt like a jerk for ever doubting his commitment._

"_No worries," he said dismissively._

_I made it to the bottom of the patchwork display and smiled at the final few pictures. They were taken over my birthday weekend. Not only was there a snapshot of myself and Adam in a passionate lip lock, but one of Adam and Jeff actually laughing with each other. Of course, it was at my expense, but still… just seeing the two of them captured forever like that warmed my heart._

"_Adam, this is…"_

_The words died in my throat when I spun around and noticed the position my boyfriend was now in. My mouth gaped slightly open as I watched him beam up at me from down on one knee. And when I saw that his right hand was fidgeting with a small black box, the tears began to fall._

"_I don't have some big fancy speech planned," he started as he reached out with his free hand to entwine his fingers with mine. "These past few months, we've gotten closer, worked through all of our lingering problems that had been holding us back, and have become solid in our relationship. But I don't want to wait anymore. Actually, I can't wait anymore. I want to start the rest of my life with you by my side."_

"_What happened to no speech?" I muttered jokingly, my voice coming out garbled because of the surprised yet blissful sobs that were racking my body. I had never understood why people cried when they were happy. I guess it was just an outpouring of emotion. And boy was I showing it._

"_I just wanted you to know that I can't live without you. You are my life, Nam," he said as a few tears pricked the sides of his eyes. _

_One of the things I loved about Adam was how open he was to show his own emotion. Whether it was over the loss of a friend, the retirement of a legend, or at this moment in time, he never shied away from letting some tears flow. He was nowhere near the whimpering mess that I had become, but still… seeing him this way touched me more than any words could (even though they were very sweet)._

"_Will you marry me?"_

_Okay… maybe that last statement was a lie. Those four words definitely made much more of an impact, especially when he flipped the lid of the box open. I didn't want to lose Adam's gaze, but the light hit the center gem of box's enclosed ring. There were five stones that adorned the front – a larger shimmering diamond flanked by both an emerald and a pink tourmaline (our birthstones) on each side. Even more unique to the ring was the sculpting of the metal. The white gold was smooth along the band until it reached the gemstones. It then was crafted to look like small, elegant vines wrapping the two colored stones on either sides of the diamond together. It was unique, beautiful… breathtaking._

_I couldn't get my lips to move. Adam continued to look at me expectantly, but there was nothing I could say. I was still so lost in the moment. My eyes flipped back to his and I saw a slight hint of worry shine through his green irises. I quickly knelt down and captured his lips in my own. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and deepened the kiss, both our lips parting in tandem. Nothing could spoil this moment._

"_Nami? I couldn't get the spare cause they said it was already picked up!"_

_Both Adam and I pulled back from each other. Our eyes shone into the others as Adam placed another tender kiss on my lips. Danielle pounded on the door, but I blocked out the sound. My sole focus was on Adam's hand as he plucked the ring out of the velvet box and slid it down my finger. I leant my head on his shoulder while he continued with the ring's slow trek._

"_Nami!?"_

_She probably was wondering where I had went. I didn't have my keys, so entry into my office was not likely. I knew that I needed to answer, if only to get her to leave so I could enjoy the moment and Adam's company._

"_Don't worry about it!" I exclaimed as loud as I could. _

_My voice came out funny from all the crying and the fact that I still didn't comprehend everything that was happening. I was now engaged to be married! The man that I was thinking about taking a break from was now my fiancé. I looked down at the ring that was now firmly situated at the base of my ring finger. I moved my gaze back to Adam's eyes. I loved him so much._

"_But… are you okay?"_

_I couldn't answer as my lips were busy tangling with my fiancé's. I would never get tired of saying that – "fiancé." Mrs. Nami Copeland – that was music to my ears. _

"_Nami?"_

_Danielle must've given up after a few moments as all was quiet. Adam and I spent quite some time just sitting on the floor of my little office. I was still lost in a stupor from the moment. Some of the time was just spent in silence, the two of us holding each other close and silently thinking about the future… our future together as husband and wife. I didn't know when that day would come, but at that moment, I felt like it couldn't come soon enough. Yet most of our time was spent with our lips together in a heated dance. It started out gentle, but the passion was bound to flare up. Our mouths parted and it was as if we were trying to devour each other with our desire._

_It was the best day of my life._

* * *

"So, you never technically said 'yes?'"

Jeff's ludicrous query brought me back to the present. I had said 'yes' – it just took awhile for me to get the word out since my mouth was busy with other activities. I slightly glared at my older friend and pulled my hands from his grasp once more.

"We're getting married, Jeff," I stated firmly, turning away from his piercing gaze to the calm blue sky overhead. "Just need to get all of the details straightened out."

"You've said that already," he muttered, scooting over so there was no gap between our two forms. He brought his arm around me and lightly pulled my weight the short distance to his side, my head coming to lean lightly on his shoulder.

"We're in no rush," I said lightly, my fingers nervously fidgeting with the engagement ring on my finger.

"Sounds like Adam is," he responded in the same tone.

"He just wanted to get engaged, you know?" I said, looking up the profile of his face to catch his gaze. He just shook his head, not really believing what I was telling him. "I think maybe this whole wedding storyline has gotten to him."

"What happens when Edge and Vickie split?" he asked. "He gonna dump you as well?"

"What? I can't even formulate a response to that question," I responded, dumbfounded that he would even say such a thing. There was one thing to be overprotective, but that was taking it to an extreme.

"I don't want to see you get hurt and he is definitely the person who could do it," he countered blithely but with a serious undertone.

"I thought you guys were on better terms now that you're working on the same show," I said, remembering how the two had acted the past few times I had seen them together. Things seemed to be on the mend between the former friends. I knew that I was definitely the happiest about that development. "That everything is water under the bridge?"

"I've never really had a truly personal reason to hate him besides what he put Matt through," he explained with a sigh. "He's moved on, Adam's moved on. I have no reason to hold a grudge. But…"

"I knew there had to be a 'but!'" I muttered under my breath.

"_But _I care about you too much to see your life ruined because you are blinded by love," he reasoned. I knew that he was just looking out for me, but I didn't really need his personal biases to constantly come into play. I liked my overprotective Jeff, but only to a certain extent. When he began to rain on my happy parade, there would be trouble. It seemed as if that time was imminent. "His track record is not so great in the relationship department."

"And you need not remind me," I said dismissively. "I know what I am getting into."

"Do you?" he asked sternly, pushing away from me enough so he could lean his forehead against mine. Our eyes were now locked in an intense stare down. "He's going to always be in the title picture – meaning he will always be center stage. More time away from home, more lonely nights."

"You and Beth get along fine," I countered smoothly. "We will as well."

"We've been dating for ten years, darlin'," he said chuckling, seemingly amused by my intensity. "You and Adam – what six or seven months?"

"It's more than that!" I exclaimed, pushing away from him and rising to my feet. I started to calculate the extent of our relationship in my head, using my fingers as counting aides.

"Point I am trying to make will still be the same, give or take a few months," he said, standing as well and coming to stand directly in front of me.

I paid him no heed and continued with my mental calculation, trying my best to take into consideration the months that we were apart. He chuckled as he saw me mouthing the months and adding them to my finger count. When I finally made it to the present month, I beamed up at him, raising both of my hands in front of his face (even though they didn't reflect the final tally).

"Twelve months!" I exclaimed joyfully, before sobering in a realization that it probably just proved his point. "So, yeah – a year."

"Okay, let's see…" he muttered, bending nine of my fingers down so only the right pointer finger was outstretched. He then flexed all of his fingers in comparison. "One to ten!"

"There's our one year right there," I said, bending down my pointer finger and prominently displaying the middle one directly at my friend. He just laughed at my childishness. "It's not too late for me to take you off the usher list."

"Doubt Adam wants me there anyway," he answered soberly as I let my hands fall to my sides.

"But I do," I responded defiantly. This was more of my wedding ceremony than it was Adam's. He had already had two. I was going to be the one making most of the decisions. "So that's that."

"How long is this proposed usher list if I made the cut?" he asked jokingly, but I sincerely started to ponder the question.

"It's really not drawn up yet," I muttered, timidly biting my bottom lip while I tried to go over a makeshift list in my head. "But of course Jay will be the best man."

"For the third time," he whispered under his breath.

"Are you going to keep harping on that?" I asked exasperatedly, but with more of a joking than angry connotation.

"Yes, I think I will," he answered smugly, before motioning with his hands for me to continue.

"Next would be you and Chris…" I responded, counting once more on my fingers. I began to realize just how many people I wanted to include. "And Randy and John and…"

"That's five right there," he interrupted through laughter.

"Yeah and I know Adam has at least one more in Terry," I informed dejectedly, not sure if any of these plans would be able to come into fruition.

"Six?" Jeff vocalized.

"Too much?" I asked meekly.

"Six, what?"

I had forgotten all about the other Carolinian. We both turned to look at Shannon's confused grin.

"Groomsmen," Jeff answered for me.

"As long as I'm one of them, I say it is a perfect amount," he replied, throwing an arm around my shoulder.

"Seven it is then," I exclaimed causing Shannon to slide his arm off of me in irritation.

"Hey!" he shouted while Jeff just laughed at his friend's dynamic display. We both knew that Shannon was just exaggerating his feelings.

"Sorry," I offered meekly, playing along. Yet then more names started to circulate in my head. "Oh damn, I forgot about Matt and Shane and…"

"Calm down. They don't need to be included," Jeff remarked, sending his younger friend a glare because of what he started. "Adam would probably revolt if you even suggested my brother's name."

"All the more reason she should do it," Shannon replied before I could respond. We both turned to him once more in frustration, but he just shrugged. "I'm just sayin'."

We all shared a laugh before falling silent. I looked between the two men, but didn't really know what to say to break the silence that stretched out between us. I could see that Shannon was thinking the same thing, as if he was pondering in his head the perfect comment to say. Yet nothing really came to be. I looked to Jeff and saw him meekly smile.

"We really are stalling this moving thing, aren't we?" he asked chuckling. That was the reason for their visit after all and nothing had been moved from the apartment to the van below.

"I could always call a professional service or something," I muttered with a shrug.

"No need – we'll get it done," Jeff said definitively.

"Speak for yourself, bro," Shannon remarked through a yawn.

"What? Did you little chase tire you out?" I asked mockingly with a grin on my face. Shannon broke out into a fit of hysterical laughter. I looked over at Jeff and he just shrugged his shoulders. "What's so funny?"

"You just did the Edge bobble!" he exclaimed when he took a break from his laughing.

"The what?" I asked in confusion which sobered him up slightly.

"You are engaged to the guy and you don't known about his tendency to bobble his head when he is at his smarmiest?" he asked sarcastically. "For shame!"

"A better question is why've you spent so much time staring at him?" Jeff asked with a slight grin. I nodded my head in agreement even though I had figured out what he was speaking of. I just hadn't heard it referred to with a title before.

"Well, we have worked on the same brand forever now and how many dreadfully nauseating Edge and Vickie promos have we been subject to over the past few months?" he asked rhetorically. "And when he gets too overly sure of himself…"

" – which is _always_, both in and out of ring," Jeff muttered to himself, but loud enough for Shannon to halt his tangent.

"He bobbles his head slight and has this shit-eating grin on his face, the same one you were giving me a few minutes ago," Shannon finished with a satisfied nod of his head.

"Now, you are really starting to scare me," I murmured, causing laughter among the two men.

"You've just noticed," Jeff stated before trying to dodge the hitting attempt of the other man.

"Maybe you should join La Familia if you love him so much," I offered mockingly, trying to avoid another pseudo wrestling match between the two friends.

It worked as they stopped trying to attack each other and turned their attention back to me. I gestured my head to the stairwell door and the three of us began to walk back into my apartment complex all the while continuing with our conversation.

"And the fact that he hates my guts?" Shannon posed.

"He doesn't hate you," I muttered sincerely while we filed back into the building.

"And you certainly don't hate him from how much you have studied his every mannerism," Jeff mocked causing Shannon to turn on the stairs and chase him back out onto the roof.

I watched as the door swung open and the two men piled out onto the roof once more. The door closed a second later blocking my view, but it didn't stop the smile on my face from growing. I was happy to see that some things would never change. The two of them were just as rambunctious as ever. I slid down and sat on the step, listening to them continue to loudly banter back in forth.

I looked at my watch and sighed when I saw how late it had actually become. There was no way I would be able to head out for Florida tonight_. Oh well, there's always tomorrow._ I looked down at my shimmering ring with a smile. Maybe nothing would change… maybe everything could stay this perfect. I knew deep down that I was only fooling myself, hoping that if I believed in it enough I could make it true. Relationships would have to change and it was hard to be content about that.

"Meemz! Help me!"

I laughed off the serious thoughts about the future when I heard Shannon's pleading voice. I got up off of the step and walked back out onto the roof and to my friends.

There's always tomorrow…


	3. Welcome to the Low Road

_A.N. - Normal disclaimer... I don't own WWE or its Superstars. Lyrics in chapter belong to Metallica and Incubus respectively. Thank you to all who have read, added, and reviewed!!! **HardyxGirl, Irshbeth, Hatter-Zombie, RatedRCouture, SandraSmit19, plea-woe, Kristen, caleb's babe, glassheartx3, and I luv Jeff Hardy Edge Randy** (for the shout-out and support! :-)) - you all reek of awesomeness and I thank you. Sorry that this took so long to get up, but my after graduation days have been full of "real world" drama. Hopefully I will get around to regular weekly or maybe even bi-weekly updates. One can dream... :-) This chapter and the next two (I think) will just continue to set up the characters and situations once more. Then the real drama of the engagement starts... All the Best!!! :-)_

* * *

Saturday July 12, 2008  
10:55 PM – Adam's House in Florida

"I still feel like a stranger in this place."

Even after moving in many personal affects, the house still cast an aura of 'just Adam.' It didn't feel remotely familiar – like staying over at a friend's place for a few days. Except this little venture wasn't a friendly sleepover, but now my home. I had spent quite a few nights here before, but always with Adam. He was in Georgia tonight for a show and wouldn't be home until sometime on Wednesday. Until then, I doubted I would feel comfortable in this place. It certainly wasn't feeling right, not in the slightest.

"It has only been one day. You just need time to adjust to everything. It'll be easier when Adam gets home."

I looked over from staring blankly at the television screen to meet my friend's grin. It was the next best thing to having Adam with me. When Jeff, Shannon, and I arrived early this morning, he came to relieve them of duty. Jeff actually needed to catch a short flight to make the show on time. He called to let me know that he did arrive and was going to kick my fiancé's ass in the ring. Just the mere mention of Adam made me lonesome. My other blond Canadian would have to do for the moment, even though his presence was going to be short-lived as well. He had an early plane to catch to fly to Houston for a pay-per-view tomorrow. He was supposed to go tonight, but changed his plans because Adam asked him to be here for me.

"Yipee," I murmured drolly, spinning my finger halfheartedly in a circle so he could understand the _depth_ of my excitement.

It wasn't that I didn't wish for Adam to be home. It was the exact opposite really, but I didn't really think it would fully change my feelings. Things between us had been a little off ever since the night of our engagement. I chalked it up to all of my mixed emotions about leaving the North, but I was beginning to think it was much, much more.

"You guys fighting or something?" Jay asked when I didn't offer any explanation for my lack of enthusiasm.

"I wish," I scoffed. "At least I would then have some sense of communication with him."

"He said he called this morning to see how everything went with the big move in," he countered.

That essentially wasn't the full truth. Adam didn't actually call. He just got on the line after Jeff and I said our goodbyes. We talked for a few moments, but it was all just small talk. He was happy to hear that I had finally gotten around to telling Jeff about our engagement. I didn't want to explain that it was actually because I was backed into a corner by Shannon's bridal magazine discovery. He seemed quite pleased that the news was finally out. I knew that Jeff wasn't a gossip, but Shannon – Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in the company knew by the end of the day.

"Yeah and you know what we spent most the time talking about? The weather!" I exclaimed, venting my frustrations to the other blond. I was actually hoping that my aggravation would get back to Adam through talks with his best friend. "You know your engagement is doomed when already you have nothing to say to each other."

"It was pretty stormy out last night," Jay reasoned with a sheepish grin. "He just wanted to make sure that your ride went okay."

"Jay," I whined, not wanting to hear any excuse that he had contrived.

"The lightning took down a palm tree right in front of my place," he continued, not even remotely fazed by my tone. I could tell that he was not going to let up.

"Stop," I exclaimed, holding up my hand in surrender. This was not how I wanted to spend our time together. It would just be a reminder of my conversation with Adam, something I really didn't want to relive. "Okay, I'll concede my point _slightly_, but still…

"Still?" he asked after a few moments of my silent drifting.

I just shrugged my shoulders and concentrated on the empty glass bottle in my hand. Picking subconsciously at the label on the side, I thought through my options. I did want to confide in him, but I didn't want to come across as a whiny bitch. I didn't want Adam to think that we were still having problems as a couple. _We were_, but I wanted to retain some sense of fulfillment. He wanted this to work. I wanted this to work. But could it?

"I guess I just miss him," I said, looking back to hold Jay's compassionate irises. He nodded his head, motioning for me to continue with my explanation. "It's like we are already married. I don't feel that sense of true surprise and passion anymore."

"Who's been watching too many movies?" he asked rhetorically, waving off my question with a chuckle. "You and Adam are progressing into a healthy, _normal,_ loving relationship. No more lies, no more doubts – just stable, smooth sailing."

"Ha! Let's not get too carried away," I countered, wanting nothing more but to wipe the smug grin off of his face. I knew that I was not alone in my thoughts – all Jay needed to do was ask his wife. "Nothing about his profession, as you know firsthand, is _stable_. Ergo our relationship will never be _smooth sailing_."

I could tell by the change in demeanor that he conceded the point. Jay and Denise weren't having _problems_, but their relationship was going through a little turbulence. The main reason was because they had begun discussions about Jay's future. His TNA contract was up in November and the door was open for a Captain Charisma return in the WWE. But that meant more days away from home, more time spent into training – something that Denise was not too happy about. The past three years that he had been in TNA helped their marriage thrive once again. Adam told me how even when Jay was in the WWE, he rarely went out with the guys at night… only if it was a big occasion. He did it in honor of his wife, not wanting to be even tempted to follow his best friend's adulterous past. Not like he ever would – Jay and Denise were perfect together.

"It's not like he is going to go off and get injured again," he stated after a few moments of silence. It was as if he was thinking of a way to get back into the conversation.

"It could happen at any time and you know it," I murmured before smiling lightly. "But thanks for trying."

"The only injury he could sustain now would be a muscle pull in his tongue," he joked, causing me to roll my eyes. I was beginning to get sick and tired of my fiancé's current storyline. "You know, him and Vickie?"

"I am well aware," I muttered.

"But maybe they are headed for a split. Wedding planner sort of got in the way last week."

Jay continued to talk about the past few Smackdown broadcasts, but I zoned out once more. Ever since his storyline was brought up in conversation, I couldn't stop thinking about his absence yesterday. We had originally planned to move my stuff together, but something came up and he needed to go to speak to Vince. It didn't make sense. I knew that he wasn't hurt. He was actually happy with the storyline that he was in. He didn't need to renegotiate his contract or anything of a legal matter. Nothing came to mind. I was just lucky that Jeff was able to come to my aid. I needed to have my stuff out of the place by tomorrow and there was no way I could have done it alone.

I looked up at Jay and saw that he was still rambling… something about his own storyline and having been thrown through a "glass table" a week ago. I just nodded my head, but he could see that I really wasn't paying attention. He didn't call me on it though, just waited patiently for me to ask a question.

"Did Adam tell you what he needed to see Vince about?"

Jay didn't answer right away. It obviously took him off guard. It was quite off topic, and just from his demeanor I could tell he didn't understand.

"Huh?"

"He went in on Friday," I said with a sigh. It didn't seem like Jay knew anymore than I did. "Said he needed to discuss something, but didn't say what."

"Haven't heard anything about it," he said, shaking his head before finishing the last bit of beer from his own bottle. "Maybe a new storyline direction?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," I remarked gloomily.

When I asked Adam about it, he wouldn't give me a straight answer. Just said that he didn't want to wait. I couldn't understand how one day could make such a difference. I decided to try and stop thinking about my own problems and enjoy Jay's company. He was being such a great friend, yet all I seemed to do was bring down the conversation. I smiled and took the empty bottle from his grasp.

"Want another?"

"Sure, but I can get it," he offered as I stood up from my seat on the couch.

"No, sit. You are the visitor after all," I said with a smile, heading out of the room and toward the kitchen. "Even though I feel like one myself."

* * *

_Saturday June 28, 2008  
1:48 AM – Nami's Apartment in New York_

_I grasped Adam's shoulders as I screamed out my completion. He pressed a heated kiss to my lips, muffling my passionate moans as he continued toward his own oncoming release. He let go of their hold on my own and I quickly buried my head in the crook of his shoulder, biting lightly at the flesh. His low, guttural moans were becoming more frequent and I knew it was only going to be a matter of moments. When his own release came, his form pressed me further into the mattress. Yet I didn't feel the pressure of his body as all my senses were still racked from all the emotions of the past few hours._

_Adam quickly rolled to my side, tugging me snug against his form. Our slightly sweat soaked bodies melded perfectly together and I placed a light kiss to his chin before resting my head on his chest. I closed my eyes and just listened to his heart rate steadily fall and return to a normal beat. I missed these moments – just the two of us, together. After today, it seemed like everything was going to change. We were engaged. Even though our relationship already was very committed, this was a big step (if only in name). I looked down at the glistening ring on my hand as it continued to rub light circles on his chest. All of this wasn't a dream. When I thought of all we had gone through to get to this day, it seemed like it was a fantasy._

"_So, Mrs. Copeland – penny for your thoughts?"_

_I looked up and stared at my fiancé's adorable grin. Just hearing "Mrs. Copeland" come from his lips was heaven. I was actually engaged to Adam Copeland!_

"_Only a penny?" I retorted with a grin of my own. "Come now, I know that I am worth more than that."_

"_Much more," he murmured, using his arm to pull me up to meet his lips in a kiss. He pulled back and set me back into my original position. I knew that he still wanted an answer. I looked away from him and back to the ring on my finger. _

"_I'm just thinking about change," I said truthfully._

"_Which is a good thing, right?" he asked chuckling. _

"_Not too sure yet," I said turning my gaze to his once more. His brows furrowed in confusion and his grin fell from his lips as my smile grew wider. "Teetering in between good and great."_

"_Well, how can I tip the balance in favor of great?" he asked as the grin returned._

"_You have already contributed greatly to it," I said, my smile growing wider as Adam's hand began to caress my side. He bent his head down and lightly kissed down the length of my neck._

"_Let me attempt to break the damn scale," he whispered into my ear. I chuckled and couldn't believe that he was all ready for another round. He positioned me on top, both of my legs straddling his form. His head fell back on the pillow. I leaned in and kissed his neck, making a path up to his lips._

"_And how do you plan…"_

"_Move in with me."_

_Those four words halted my actions. I was frozen in place. Did I hear him right?_

"_Wha?"_

_I couldn't even get the full word out. I leaned back on my haunches and stared at him. His smile never wavered as he took both of my hands in his. He pressed a kiss to my right hand as I continued to try and process what he had just said. I was trying to convince myself that I had to have been hearing things._

"_It's the next logical step for this relationship to go," he said calmly while my mind was still reeling from his previous statement. Logical? We had just gotten engaged today. "We are now a totally unified couple in theory and thus…" _

_His comment stopped my racing mind. Did he just say "couple in theory?" I flashed back to the beginning of our relationship and had to laugh. Adam looked at me as if I had lost my mind. From utter confusion to uncontrollable laughter in a split second… maybe I was just trying to forget what he had just asked me. _

"_What?" he asked, falling into a slight chuckle himself. I just continued laughing, rolling off of him and laying at his side once more._

"_I'm just agreeing," I said with a smile on my face. "Go on – 'couple in theory…'"_

"_Yeah and seeing as…" he started, but had to stop when my laughter began anew. I couldn't stop it and didn't know why. It really wasn't that amusing, but my body was on sensory overload. I guess this was just a defense mechanism… trying my best to not give him an answer. I was scared to give him one. "Okay, what the hell is so funny?"_

"_We started our relationship as a couple in theory and we're back at the same title," I said, leaning my head on his shoulder. He reached over and grasped my chin lightly, raising my head to meet his gaze._

"_I didn't say you were my girlfriend in theory," he said with a genuine smile on his lips. He pushed my bangs out of my eyes and seemed to stare deep into my soul. I knew if he kept staring at me like that, I would give in to whatever he asked. "Don't think I have forgotten about that. What I meant was…"_

"_I know what you meant, handsome," I said, not wanting to hear his explanation. I leaned up and kissed him briefly before pulling away. I didn't want him to think that was my answer. "But before you go on, don't you think this is the kind of thing that is need of a more serious discussion. Not a brief intermission while we wind down before another round?"_

"_I'm being fully serious!" he exclaimed. I shook my head and was about to interject when he quickly continued. "You've been to my place. It's huge and so lonely without someone warm and snuggly to share it with."_

"_Get a cat," I murmured, pulling away from his hold on me and sitting on the edge of the bed. I wrapped the sheet lightly around my form, but hastily felt it being slightly tugged away from behind. He wasn't going to give up – not like I ever expected him to._

"_Allergy, remember?" he said rhetorically, sitting behind me and pulling my back to his chest. _

"_I know, but there are pills you can take," I remarked teasingly, refusing to look over my shoulder._

_I needed to remain strong about this. I wasn't ready to move out of the Northeast. And even more so, I was definitely not ready to move in with Adam. I didn't think that our relationship was stable enough for cohabitation. I knew that I wasn't ready to become a pro-wrestler's wife. I wasn't ready for that type of lifestyle yet. All the waiting and time apart… at least in New York, I had some sense of normalcy._

"_Probably would screw up the drug test and get me suspended," he said, lightly tracing my shoulder blades with his fingers. I leaned into his touch and chuckled at his comment. I would actually be slightly happy if that happened. His career might suffer, but at least I would see him more. "And why are we still talking about this? I don't want a cat. I want you."_

"_You've already had me – three times tonight by my count," I teased once more which earned a slight shove from behind. I felt his body leave mine and the mattress sunk once again behind me. I knew that I couldn't keep joking around. He was going to want an answer._

"_Are you purposely trying to avoid the subject?"_

_It seemed like he sensed it as well. I wrapped the sheet more firmly around me – suddenly becoming more conscious of my nudity – before swiveling my position to face him. He looked at me expectantly. I sighed and scooted closer to him, reaching out to lightly twirl a finger through some of his hair._

"_Not really," I murmured, avoiding his piercing gaze. "It was just a fun diversion."_

_I wished that he would give up on the 'move-in' proposal for now. We just got engaged. I wanted to spend time basking in the afterglow of that announcement. I was still mulling over how I was going to tell my family and friends the news. According to Adam, no one knew about his proposal plans… not even Jay. I knew that wasn't going to last long. _

_I wasn't sure how my father would take the announcement. He liked Adam, but wasn't too sure if I was ready for this strong of a commitment. He just wanted me to be happy and he saw that Adam loved me. But marriage… not sure if he was ready to give me away._

_My friends were another story altogether. I knew that Dani and Steven would be happy. They thought Adam and I were perfect together. And it finally wasn't just because they were star struck every time he was around. It was because of that in the beginning. They didn't see him as my boyfriend – they saw Edge. I could understand, but it got quite aggravating. Now, it was just Adam (thank God). But just as things were getting normal between them, Adam wanted me to leave?_

_And finally, there were my 'other' friends… our mutual wrestling friends. My relationship with Jay had grown so much over the past few months. It was as if we had been friends as long as he and Adam had. Well, not exactly… but he had started calling me 'the little sister he always wanted.' Chris and I had progressed into having a well-rounded friendship. As soon as we didn't have to hide it from everyone, we were able to build a much deeper bond. He was still my voice of reason at times. John and Randy were still 'John and Randy'. Nothing had really changed between all of us. I hardly got to see them, but that was what text messages were for – even though, Randy needed learn that random messages at three in the morning were never appreciated._

_Lastly – but maybe most importantly – there was Jeff. The relationship between Adam and Jeff had grown much warmer the past few months. My relationship with Jeff was another story. We were great friends, but he had had a hell of a year. While my happiness blossomed, his whole world seemed to crumble at his feet. I was there for him through everything, but nothing I did or said would help him sometimes. It even seemed that my presence would cause more problems for him. Beth and I got along alright, but she suspected that I had feelings for Jeff. It sort of hindered us from becoming as good of friends as Jeff would have liked. That coupled with my choice of companion made hanging out with the Carolina crew a rarer occurrence. Now that we were engaged… I wasn't sure what he would say._

_But I didn't want to dwell on what others would think. This was my life and I was living it how I chose to. Adam was whom I wanted to spend my life with, even if I wasn't exactly ready for all that it entailed. As I continued with all of my serious thoughts, Adam began to grow restless. I guess this was not the exact answer he had been expecting. He grasped my wrists and pulled me to him, causing me to topple onto his chest. _

"_I love you," he whispered, pressing light kisses across the expanse of my face. I relaxed into his arms, smiling once more._

"_Love you too," I responded in the same hushed tone. _

_I kissed his lips, wanting him to feel all he meant to me. Both of us began to get lost in our embrace. Adam rolled me onto the mattress switching our positions. He pulled the sheet away from my body, letting it fall off the mattress altogether. I subconsciously wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him taut against my chest. We never once broke the kiss: it just grew much deeper. One of my legs found its way around Adam's back. Everything was becoming much more intense and heated when he did the unthinkable – he pulled back._

"_So, back to my original question…" he said, leaning back slightly so he was just out of kissing distance. I let my leg fall from his back and opened my half lidded eyes. I was beyond frustrated at that moment._

"_Are you kidding me?" I asked rhetorically. _

_He grinned at me and I thought maybe he would cave. I tried my best to lean up to capture his lips. Adam quickly pushed me back down, using one arm to hold me lightly to the mattress._

"_I want to discuss it while we can," he said lustily. I rolled my eyes and had every intention of forcing him to sleep on the sofa tonight. Yet I was too hot and bothered so that was not a truly pleasing option._

"_You didn't really phrase it like a question," I said, relenting on my position of not speaking about serious matters anymore tonight. "It was more like a statement… a command, even."_

"_Please, babe. Can you just give me an answer?"_

_He slightly pouted out his bottom lip and I had to look away. He was getting to me again. I needed to stay strong and hold onto my beliefs, even though I wasn't exactly sure what they were at the moment._

"_You already asked me a huge life altering question today," I said sighing. I turned back to him and saw that he was about to respond. I needed to keep the upper hand. "I don't know if I can give you another answer so soon."_

"_Just think with your heart, beautiful."_

_So much for having the upper hand. His charm was quickly winning me over into making a hasty decision. I knew that he would make me keep my word if I decided to move. I needed to be sure about it… and I wasn't._

"_It needs serious consideration. I have never lived outside the tri-state area my entire life," I reasoned with him. He just scoffed lightly as I continued. He was used to living away from his home. Florida would never be Canada, but he made it work. "My whole family is here. My friends, my job…"_

_As I drifted off, Adam sighed and saw that he was not going to get what he wanted from me. For what seemed like the hundredth time tonight, he rolled to my side and relaxed into the mattress. All of the passion we were feeling had seemingly dissipated. I knew there was more than one reason why I didn't want to get into a serious discussion. I felt his arm wrap around me once more and pull me to his side. I nestled into a comfortable position with my head on his chest. For the second time tonight, I got lost in emotion of just listening to his heart beat beneath me._

_Why was this such a hard decision to make? Not ten hours ago I was complaining to Dani how I never got to be with him… how I wasn't sure where this relationship was going. And here he was, making a huge gesture. He wanted me to be his wife. He wanted to share his life with me. I knew that this was going to be a huge change, but I did want it, didn't I? This is what I had dreamed about for so long – to be with my true love. And I think that my dream was coming true._

"_But my heart is in Florida so that's where I should be," I murmured, not sure if Adam was listening. I knew he wasn't asleep, but my timid voice might have been muffled from my position. My unanswered questions were responded to as he quickly reached down to cup my face in his hand. I looked up into his eyes and saw hope but also concern._

"_Really?" he asked, unsure about what he had just heard. I smiled brightly and just nodded. His worried expression turned into a huge smile. He held me even closer to him and kissed me lightly on the forehead._

"_You sound surprised," I asked lightheartedly._

"_It wasn't looking too good for me for a second there," he chuckled, rubbing his hand up and down my arm. Slowly but surely, my body was becoming ignited by passion once more._

"_I want to make this work," I said definitively. I looked directly into his irises and smiled. "I'm going to put everything I have into this. I don't care how much of my life will change as long as you are the one constant."_

"_And I will be," he said smoothly. I nodded and buried my nose in the crook of his neck. I lightly nipped at the skin before making a path up to his ear._

"_Any more questions you want answered?" I whispered. "It seems like everything is going your way."_

"_No more words," he said, as he rolled me underneath him once more. "I want your lips for some other action."_

_Adam heard no more complaints from me and he hastily sealed our lips in a passionate kiss. He had to leave early in the morning to make it to his flight to Texas. Unlike many pay-per-view weekends, the wrestlers had to work a supershow before Night of Champions on Sunday. He had asked if I wanted to attend, but I had to decline. I had a lot of work that needed to be done – now even more so. But there was no sense thinking about anything now. I let my thoughts fade and just concentrated on the man I loved._

_Being together… that's what everything was about._

* * *

"Don't get a job as a waitress. I don't think it's your calling."

I shook myself out of my reverie and turned just in time to see Jay pull another Molson out of the open refrigerator. I sheepishly smiled and closed the door, putting the two empty bottles in my hand on the countertop.

"Oh jeez, I'm sorry," I said, but he just shook his head.

"Don't sweat it," he remarked, opening up the new bottle. "You zone out for a sec?"

"Just thinking," I murmured, trying to get my head out of the past.

Everything was so perfect that night and I was just trying to recapture that feeling… the feeling that everything was going to work. That I was going to be able to get along here away from everything I was used to.

"It's a big move," he said seriously. "You just need time to think of all this as your home, not just Adam's."

"That'll take years," I scoffed, hopping up into a sitting position on the countertop.

"Maybe," he said with a grin, coming to stand a few feet in front of me. "I was thinking more along the line of months. Maybe only weeks."

"Winter will certainly be a change," I said offhandedly.

"Yeah, but that's a while away," he reasoned through laughter.

"It won't be winter," I countered.

"There is a serious déjà vu vibe with this conversation," he said, his laughter still present. I just nodded my head, as I remembered that we had this same conversation during my last residential stay in Florida. At that time, I didn't think any of this would be permanent. I didn't even know if I would still be Adam's life when my true objective in the WWE came out. "Trust me, by then, all of this will be normal."

"Normal, huh?" I asked teasingly. "I'll let you know when I reach that state of mind."

"_And the road becomes my bride  
I have stripped of all but pride  
So in her I do confide  
And she keeps me satisfied  
Gives me all I need…"_

"Can you hand me that?" I asked, pointing to my cell phone on the other side of the kitchen.

"Lazy ass," he joked, striding across the floor and grabbing the still ringing object. I could hear him lightly singing along with the tone on his way. It always annoyed the hell out of Adam how long my ringtones were. But he was cute when he was frustrated, so the tones would continue to get longer and longer. "New message from Randy."

"Ooo, give me!" I shrieked. I had been waiting for this message all day. Jay chuckled and quickly came over to hand me the phone. I pressed appropriate buttons and smiled down at the text on my phone. "Aw, they had their little girl."

"Everything went smooth?" Jay asked.

"I guess," I said with a shrug. "It just says _Alanna's here. Perfection."_

"Randy," Jay scoffed with a shake of his head.

"Yeah," I muttered as I typed a quick reply.

Randy and Sam had known that this would be the day of their daughter's birth for a month now. Sam was having a C-section so as long as she didn't enter labor prematurely, everything was set. Randy's collarbone injury seemed to be a blessing in disguise as he now could spend the first few months solely with his wife and baby girl. It was weird to think of Randy as a father now, but I had to admit that he had matured greatly over the past nine months. Not saying that he was a totally changed man, but at least I didn't feel like anymore hotel rooms were in line for a demolishing.

I set my phone back down next to me and turned my attention back to Jay. He just smiled as he finished his beer. He set it next to the other empty bottles before reaching over and taking my hand in his. Just as he was about to speak, we were interrupted once more.

"_There's something about the look in your eyes  
Something I noticed when the light was just right  
It reminded me twice that I was alive  
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight…"_

I didn't need to look down to know who was calling. Jay looked at me quizzically as I continued to ignore the phone, peering over to read the caller id. That just caused more confusion on his face as he let go of my hand and picked it up.

"You going to get that?" he asked, outstretching the phone to me. I took it and silenced the song, placing it down next to me.

"I'll call him later," I said sighing.

"You sure?" he asked warily. The phone beeped once more signaling a message, but I just hopped down from my seat. I tried to move away, but being so close to me, Jay was able to halt my movement.

"He's probably busy anyway," I said, looking over at the still glowing phone. "Just checking up on me because he feels obligated."

"It's more than that and you know it," Jay said, reaching out to grasp my chin which forced me to look in his eyes. At times, it was like Adam and Jay were the same person. Some of the things they did were spot on alike. I couldn't help but see Adam in him and it made a few tears escape down my cheek. "He misses you just as much as you miss him."

"Uh-huh," I murmured, closing my eyes and pulling out of his grasp.

I walked a few paces away and let the tears fall. I couldn't speak to Adam because Jay was right – I missed him too much. This whole place reminded me of him every second. He never left my mind. Whether it was thinking about our past, present, or future, he was always there. Knowing that these long absences were going to have to become commonplace scared me. I didn't know if I could handle it. It was different in New York. I had my own life as well. Here, everything was about Adam and the life I was trying to make for myself. I couldn't do it on my own and I feared that I would have to. I didn't know if I would ever be able to get used to him being gone.

Jay spun me around and saw my emotional demeanor. His frustration faded and he smiled sympathetically. He knew the position I was in. He knew what his own wife went through during his WWE career. I could see understanding in his eyes.

"Come 'ere," he whispered, pulling me into an embrace. I buried my head into his chest as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "It gets easier with time. Trust me... everything will be fine."

I didn't know how I became so emotional so quickly, but being in Jay's arms seemingly made it worse. I needed Adam and this was making me long for him more. Hearing his voice on the phone wasn't enough. Knowing that I had to wait until Wednesday to see him was like a knife through my heart. I had hardly seen him since the night of our engagement. Was this honestly how our life would be?

After I calmed down some, Jay and I said our goodbyes. I think my slight breakdown made him want to have some quality time with his own wife before he had to leave (even if it would only be for a night). Before I settled down for bed, I picked up my phone and accessed my voicemail. Putting my phone on speaker, I just let Adam's voice reverberate off the walls. And with my eyes closed, I tried to just pretend that he was with me.


	4. Someone To Hold On To

**A.N. - Wow, it sure has been a long time since I have been on this site. I wish that I had the drive and passion to continue this in a timely fashion. A year ago, I did not. I am not even sure if I do now, but I will surely try. Normal disclaimer... I don't own WWE or its Superstars. Lyrics in chapter belong to Incubus. There are two passages from random sociological journals on pro-wrestling that I would cite if I could remember the names. They wouldn't probably want the credit the writing is so bad, but still... :-) To all whom have read, added, and reviewed - this is for you. I hope that some of you are still with me and promise that after this chapter, the actual plot will pick up. All the Best! :-)**

* * *

Tuesday July 15, 2008  
3:07 PM - Adam's House in Florida

"So how does it feel to be getting married again? Any butterflies in the stomach yet?"

My lighthearted query was met with a chuckling response from the man on the other end of the phone call. I smiled and let the sound of his laugh take over me. It seemed like forever since I had seen him and I still wasn't used to living alone in a huge house in the balmy Florida weather. I liked my small New York apartment just fine. True, it had only been a few days now, but I still wasn't quite feeling at ease being here. Something just wasn't right.

"Oh, yes. _Big ones_," Adam responded sarcastically. "Not so much about the ceremony, but about this hideous white tux I have to wear."

"I'm sure it's not so bad," I responded casually, not really paying attention his response.

I just continued to flip through the stack of journals in front of me. Even though I was no longer employed at Hachette Publishing, I still had a job as a freelance writer. And my first assignment: a scholarly peer-reviewed journal article on professional wrestling. I was grateful to write for the well-established publication _The Sociological Spectrum_ and being asked to contribute even though I was not a professional in the field was an honor. Yet it was hard to get the passion to write an informal piece on the profession I had masqueraded around in. And there was also the fact that I was engaged to one of the profession's hottest commodities.

"It makes me look fat."

The comment and slightly pouty tone broke me from the monotonous text in front of me. I chuckled and shut the front cover of the journal. With just five simple words, I was back to the dull ache of a bruised heart. It happened every time Adam was away. I knew that I would have to get used to it, but everything was just too new. In New York, I could hide in my work and in my relationships with my friends and family. Here, in this brand new world (known to the common man as Florida), I felt alone. _Only one more night... _

"That's not hard to do," I finally responded mockingly. I heard him scoff under his breath. "I'm just kidding. Like I said, I'm sure it's _fine_."

"I get the feeling that you aren't paying attention to me," he muttered.

"_I'm_ paying attention," I attested with a sigh. "I'm just not taking _you_ seriously. There is a difference."

"Sure there is, beautiful," he replied and I could hear the smirk coming through in his tone. It only made me miss him more... if that was at all possible. "Damn, I have to go. We're taping the ceremony now and having the reception during the broadcast tonight."

Vickie and Edge, together forever... Yeah, I was sure that it would only last a few months, but it was supposedly a hot angle that Creative was not ready to end. I didn't mind so much. I had met Vickie a few times... very nice, not nearly as shrewish as she came across on the screen. It still was awkward seeing them together on the screen, however. I knew how to separate _Adam_ from _Edge _and I _wasn't _jealous, but... it was just hard to see them so lovey-dovey when it wasn't like that between us at home.

Maybe now that we were cohabitating things would change. Yet even though we had only been engaged for a short period of time, everything was beginning to feel humdrum. When we met, we both were living in the whirlwind lifestyle that is the WWE. But now... I was left behind.

"How sweet," I murmured drolly, trying to pull my thoughts from the deep recesses of my mind and concentrate on the blond who I longed to see. _One more night... One more night..._

"Isn't it?" he asked jokingly. He started to speak, but could hardly get a syllable out before I heard few other voices speaking to him. "Vic, tell them I'll be right there."

My mood soured even more_. Time for him to go and play pretend while I sit here and wait for his return_. It made me think that maybe I should have asked him to move in with me so this could have been avoided. I'd be alone... and I _would _be miserable, but at least I'd feel like Nami Shepherd. This envious sad sack of a person was not me.

"- miss you. I'll call you after the show."

I tuned back into the conversation to hear his last few words. I smiled sadly and nodded to myself.

"Bye _Edge_," I muttered glumly.

He laughed, but I could tell he was slightly annoyed at my comment. We had talked about the time I would have to spend alone. I told him I understood... that I would do anything to make the relationship work. I was speaking the truth, but I didn't think it would be this hard. He had to realize that right now, he was all I had. He was the one stable part of my life. That's if I could call the relationship we had as stable.

We still weren't over our past indiscretions. We swept everything away and put on brave faces, but the doubts were still there. We both knew that love was sometimes not enough to keep a relationship going. It took commitment, trust, respect, loyalty, patience... Besides the commitment aspect, we were lacking in all other areas. He _still_ didn't trust certain relationships I continued to pursue (even though they were solely in the vein of friendship). Okay... maybe that was really only _one_ relationship.

We respected each other well enough, but at times, I felt that Adam's aspirations were considered loftier than mine. I left my life for him, and what had _he_ done in return? The rock on my finger did little to ease the pain, no matter how much it glittered in the light. Even if it was a piece of glass, I would love Adam the same. I wished he could understand that.

Loyalty was like trust's sibling. Where ever there was one, the other would follow. I trusted Adam while he was on the road. I didn't care if he went out for drinks with the guys, because I knew who he would always - _eventually_ - come home to. Yet it seemed that I was never offered the same luxury. Even while writing _Confessions_, I always stayed loyal to my friends. I spoke the truth and didn't make them out to be anything they weren't. But it was always hanging over my head... like a _Get Out of Jail Free_ card Adam could always use. He did bring it up on a few occasions, but only when he thought I was being _unreasonable_. I knew that I would need to do something about that in the near future.

Patience... that was something neither of us possessed nor ever would.

"I love you."

Those three words made all of my nerves settle and a smile quickly light up my face. Adam Copeland loved me. I would never get sick of hearing those words uttered in his dulcet tone.

"Love you too," I replied, knowing I had to end the call quick or I would be begging him to stay on the line.

However, he didn't give me the chance to say anymore as the line went dead. I groaned and flipped my phone shut. I pushed it across the marble top of the dining room table. I couldn't even bear to look at the picture of the happy couple the screen displayed. _One more night..._

I picked up the first paperback periodical - concerning the messages about manhood in wrestling - and surveyed one of the highlighted sections:

_"Message 6: Men are winners. Winning and achievement are part of being a man. This was very apparent even in the contrived world of professional wrestling. Male performers who held the championship title were described as 'The Man,' which suggests that masculinity is synonymous with winning and achievement. For example, JR says of Chris Jericho on an episode of RAW (10-22-01): 'Jericho is the man. Chris Jericho is the WCW champion.' Likewise, JR says of champion The Rock: 'Man, what a matchup, but The Rock is still the man.' (RAW 09-03-01). Clearly, winning and achievement are part of being a man. Holding a major championship title indicates proven masculinity. It is interesting that the same awe does not seem to be applied to female performers who win major championships. Female title holders are not described as 'The Woman.' Winning and achievement, therefore, are constructed as masculine not feminine."_

"Idiots," I grumbled, slamming the journal shut and tossing it on the ground.

All of the journals I had read so far were of the same vein... and granted, if it was not for my stay in the company, I might have thought the same. Actually, I once did think the same. It was amazing how much a few years made. I still thought that all I had read was quite frankly bullshit and couldn't believe it was actually published. _Maybe the reason there was no "The Woman" was because there was no female Ric Flair. _I knew that I could do little to argue with sociologists on the matter. They had not lived the life I had. They had not seen the business for what it truly was.

As I reached for the next of the most likely worthless pieces of "journalistic" theses, the doorbell rang. I scrunched my brow in confusion. There was no way that Adam could be home this early. Jeff was on the Smackdown roster as well... I cautiously rose from the high backed chair and made my way to the foyer. I didn't know why I was so nervous. The community that I had now entered was quite residential, private, and amiable, yet I was still uneasy of being alone. I tried peering through the frosted glass on the front door, but could only make out a basic form. _Tall, masculine, and blond. _I wished that it could be a certain blond, but knew that was impossible, Besides, the hair was not nearly as long as Adam's. The bell rang again, shaking me from my thoughts.

"Hey neighbor!" the newcomer said, grinning with arms outstretched. My mouth gaped open at the surprise. Having not seen him for months, he was a sight for sore eyes. "Welcome to the neighborhood."

I accepted Chris's embrace heartily, smiling when he swung me around like a rag doll in his arms. I hadn't seen him in since April and our phone conversations were brief at best. He was a busy businessman as well as family man. With me stationed miles away in New York, I was never available for any sort of social call. It was different when he actually had business in the city. But with his book long since published and him being back on the active WWE roster, it was hard to get to see one of my newest yet most cherished friends.

"Not exactly neighbors, but thanks," I croaked out as he set me back on my feet. He handed me a bottle of champagne and pushed the front door open wider. "Watch out for the dogs."

"I know," he said, as we both entered the air-conditioned cool of the home. "I've been here before, you know?"

"Oh, yeah right," I murmured as I watched Adam's little teacup poodle putter on by us.

My face fell and I really couldn't express why. I figured that it was just the fact that I didn't feel like I was a part of anything here... like I was just implanted in something already in progress. Chris turned around when we made it to the kitchen. He saw my expression, but kept his thoughts to himself as he went about pulling two wine glasses from one of the cabinets. It just proved he knew more about this place than I did, making my expression sour even more. It took me twenty minutes to find a teaspoon the other night.

"Why the frown?" the blond finally vocalized, reaching out to grasp the bottle that was still in my hands. "I thought the warm Floridian weather and sunshine would change your gloomy disposition."

"I am not gloomy. I..." I tried to state firmly, but he gave me a disbelieving look. I sighed as he handed me a glass of the bubbly liquor. "Okay, maybe I am a little gloomy, but... I just miss Adam, is all."

"Knowing him, he's due for an injury any week now," he replied jokingly, pouring himself a glass of the wine. "Then, he's all yours. Be happy for the time you have apart."

"Don't joke about things like that," I exclaimed, shoving him lightly in the shoulder, but enough to spill some of the pouring bottle's contents on the marble countertop. "It's bad karma."

"Whatever you say, but Chris Jericho doesn't _do_ injured," he retorted, placing the bottle back down and grasping his glass, making no motion to clean the liquid covering the countertop.

"Uh-huh," I joked. "You're not getting any younger."

"I'm only a few years older than your fiancé, so don't start," he said as he raised his glass for a toast. I was about to retort to his comment, but was halted by the sound of doorbell ringing once more. "Ah, saved by the bell."

"You're lucky," I muttered, placing my glass down on the counter and heading back toward the front door.

"I meant _you_ were," he replied with a laugh. "You had no comeback, I could tell."

I just shook my head in reply, even though I knew Chris could no longer see me. I pet Luger's head on the way to the front door, but the lab just continued to bark as the doorbell rang once more. Whoever was behind the wood and frosted glass sure was impatient. No longer feeling as nervous with Chris a few yards away, I swung the door open.

"Surprise!"

"Happy housewarming!"

I surveyed the two men with a shocked expression on my face. My surprise at seeing Chris was nothing like the emotion running through me at this moment. I hadn't seen either of them since... since Wrestlemania weekend. I couldn't believe it had been that long. I was quickly pulled into two strong arms, and just as quickly pulled back into a one-armed hug.

"Shouldn't you be at the hospital?" I asked him, staring up into his translucent blue eyes. I turned to the other man with a smirk. "And... shouldn't you be dead?"

"It's girls day today - even the father isn't invited," Randy cut in, pulling my attention back to his gaze. "And it's _SuperCena,_ remember? Superman couldn't be stopped by flying bullets, Cena by speeding cars."

We both laughed as John glowered from behind. On Raw the night before, JBL had run into John with a car. I thought it was absolutely hilarious that the company would make it seem like anyone could survive a hit like that. The website later would state that the car just "grazed" him, but it didn't make the angle any less awkward. There were times when the "cartoon violence" got a little too farfetched. But Randy was right - if there was any character that could survive the attack, it would be John.

"You're so _hilarious," _John muttered, as I detangled my arms from around the Legend Killer's neck. I was sure to watch his arm and sling, not knowing how extensive the injury was. I turned to John as he picked up a few brown paper bags full of alcoholic beverages that were on the pavement. "We are going to a show at FCW tonight. Thought we would stop by beforehand; see how you're doing."

I appreciated the sentiment, but was still quite taken aback by their presence. John and Randy both had thriving personal lives. John might live only a short distance from here, but he was hardly ever at home relaxing. If he wasn't working, he was off promoting something. If wasn't doing that, he was making visits for the WWE or Make-A-Wish. And if it wasn't that, he could be found working out either at his home gym or one of his local haunts. To top it all off, he was in a serious relationship with his girlfriend. According to Adam, it was getting quite close to becoming "official" - as in "rock on finger." Those were Adam's words, not mine. He wasn't a huge fan of John's significant other, but if she made John happy, that was all that mattered.

Since June, Randy didn't have many professional engagements. He had injured his collarbone and would need at least three months to recover. At any other time, the Legend Killer would probably have been irate from that setback. Yet this injury fit perfectly with the birth of his first child. She had been born just a few days prior and I couldn't believe that he would leave his wife and daughter's side. I couldn't believe even a _girl's day _would stop him from being with the women he loved.

"Aren't you on injured reserve though and you just had a child?" I asked, vocalizing my disbelief as the three of us entered the house.

"One of the many perks of being a pro-wrestler," he replied drolly, reaching down to pet Luger on his head. "Seriously though, this is my only commitment for the rest of the month. Then, it is just quality time with my two girls. Besides, Sam and Alanna aren't being released from the hospital until tomorrow afternoon. I'll be back by then."

I smiled taking his good hand in my own. I reached over and grabbed John's free hand in my open palm. Even though Adam couldn't be here, at least their presence was making things feel more comfortable.

"Well, commitment or not, I'm happy to have you both here," I replied looking back and forth between both men. They just grinned, but before either could reply, we were interrupted.

"Hey! What about me?"

"Eh," I replied with a shrug, but the smile could not stay away from my face. Chris reached over and grabbed the bottle as the three of us entered the kitchen.

"I'm taking my wine back, then," he replied through a fake pout. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips.

"Fine, but then you lose your babysitter for Thursday night," I threatened, knowing that I had promised the blond a few weeks ago that I would watch his children for the night.

Jessica and Chris wanted a night to themselves and I was happy to help in any way I could. Especially now that I could actually be a help with the distance not so long between us. Chris had given me friendship when I thought I was alone. He deserved much more than a few babysitting dates.

"Okay, okay. I yield," he replied, before turning to greet the two newcomers. "Hey fellas. I guess congratulations are in order?"

He raised his glass toward the new father of the group. I quickly retrieved my glass and did the same. Randy just picked up the bottle and took a long swig. I took a small sip from my glass, letting the bubbly liquid slide down my throat. It was definitely expensive stuff, not bitter or sweet but somewhere in between. Nothing like the five dollar bottle my friends and I would celebrate with in the city. I pushed them to the back of my mind and concentrated on the three men whom were in my company at the moment.

"Thanks man. Feels great," Randy replied when he set the bottle back on the marble. "Wanna see her?"

The next few hours were spent catching up with one another. The three men listened to me ramble about my current situation, but offered little advice. Chris offered the best information, when he said that he would tell Jess to give me a call. He figured that I could probably relate more with his wife than the man who was always away. It would be refreshing to get someone who understands what this lifestyle will entail. For all my bravado about being able to handle anything, I was beginning to waver.

Especially when the three men had to leave to go about their own lives. I was more than grateful for their visit, but as soon as the door shut behind them, the sinking feeling in my stomach was worse than before Chris had arrived. I leaned my head against the door and took a deep breath. This was what I wanted, wasn't it? I loved Adam and I was willing to at least give this a try. Hell, it had only been four days. There was no way I could back out now.

I made my way back to the kitchen to clean up. It didn't take long as all we had consumed was the one bottle of champagne. The other liquor that John and Randy had brought still sat in their brown bag confines on the counter. I debated drowning myself in my thoughts, but thought better of it. I really needed to get a jump on my article before Adam came home tomorrow. _Tomorrow - don't think about it... or you will never get anything done._

I grabbed the periodicals from the table and made my way to the bedroom. It was much more comfortable and I hoped that it would have been easier for me to get through the material without wanting to rip them to shreds. I needed to be objective, even if these authors would not be. I flipped through the first few, barely reading anything besides the words "violence" and "sexist", having to remind myself that I once thought the same. It became quite frustrating that I just wanted to quit the assignment altogether. I knew that I couldn't. This was my one commitment that I had left from my non-Floridian life and I was going to see it through.

By the time I got to the final article, my eyes were heavy with sleep and boredom. Yet I continued to read, hoping that I would find something to sink my teeth into... something to get me motivated to write:

_"... What is worse, however is nonmatch time on televised wrestling because verbal attacks and stage effects as well as physical violence and rule violations are added. That is, the mixture of more antisocial factors may provide the audience with intensive and more harmful effects. For example, beating an opponent with steel chairs accompanied by stage effects (fireworks, heavy metal music, and psychedelic lights) glamorize the wrestler's violent acts more than beating an opponent with steel chairs without the stage effects."_

"The writing technique is just as bad as the content," I murmured flipping the page.

Yet it was becoming harder and harder to concentrate on the black ink in front of me. My eyes slipped shut and I decided to succumb to my desire for sleep. At least then, I would probably get to see Adam's face for awhile as he recently was haunting my dreams.

* * *

_"... was just right  
It reminded me twice that I was alive..."_

I groggily lifted my head from my pillow as I heard the faint sound of Brandon Boyd's voice in the distance. A smile graced my lips as I fumbled for my phone, before remembering it was still in the other room. _No wonder I can barely hear it..._

I sprinted out of the room and grabbed for the phone just as it beeped to signal a missed call. I didn't wait to hear if he left a message; I just hit the call button and sat down on the cool table. I couldn't sit still as I waited, wondering why he was taking so long to pick up. If he was doing it to irritate me, it was surely working.

"Miss me?"

I almost cried as the two words were uttered over the scratchy tone of cell phone signal.

"Do you even need to ask?" I replied, closing my eyes to picture that he was next to me. "I didn't think it would be so hard."

"I'll be home tomorrow, beautiful and then we won't leave the house until Saturday," he almost growled into the phone. I giggled, leaning back fully onto the table, letting the surface cool my warm body. Just Adam's voice was enough to arouse my ardent desire for him._ So much for humdrum... _

"I wish that was true, love, but I have some commitments that involve_ actually_ leaving the premises," I replied, trying my best not to frown at the prospect of having to leave the bed once over the course of those three days.

"You just moved down! What _commitments _can you have?" he asked, more serious than his tone might have led to believe.

"I promised Chris I would watch the kids on Thursday and it's the twins' birthday party on Friday," I replied evenly. Chris's two girls were turning two years old on Friday and he had invited a bunch of his friends over to celebrate. Adam had promised we would attend a few weeks ago, but he seemingly had forgotten.

"Damn Jericho," he muttered under his breath.

"Don't curse him," I replied, smiling once more. "He kept me company today while you were off getting married for the fourth time."

"Oh yeah?" he responded, sounding genuinely surprised that his friend had visited. "And it's three times down the aisle... Kane sort of ruined my third trip with Ames."

"Oh, that's right," I mumbled, trying to put the memories of watching those segments out of my brain.

The Rated R Superstar-Lita era was a hundred times worse on my emotions than his current storyline. Sure, I would bitch and moan about him kissing another woman, but at least I knew whom he was coming home to in the end. Thinking of his storyline with Amy and the fact that at a time they were actually quite in love was hard to stomach... especially when it was coupled with the failure of his second marriage. It was something neither of us liked to talk about, but we would need to get all of these emotional entanglements out of the way if we were going to be joined in holy matrimony. I needed him to understand how I felt and I also needed to know exactly what he was thinking when he broke his second wife's heart. Even if it wasn't or was all his fault, I wanted and deserved to know the truth.

"So you and Chris have a nice time?" he asked.

"Very nice," I smiled, remembering the day. "But he wasn't my only visitor."

"Is that so?" Adam replied inquisitively. "Well, I know it wasn't Hardy since I saw him tonight."

I had to bite my tongue as to not retort about the fact that he even needed to bring up Jeff's name. He knew that there was nothing between us but friendship. If anything, our relationship had taken a few steps back from where it was during my tenure with the WWE. I was with Adam and he had Beth. We were with whom we belonged with and we knew it. I just hoped that our significant others could see it as well.

"And it couldn't have been Jay since I just talked to him and he didn't say anything," he mumbled, breaking me from my own thoughts.

"Called your best friend before your fiancée, huh? I see how it is," I joked.

"I called to make sure he was picking me up tomorrow from the airport," he replied coolly. "And before you say anything, I am coming in early and didn't want to wake you. I want to do that _personally_."

"Now, that's something to look forward to," I murmured in response, thinking of being in Adam's arms when I awoke tomorrow morning.

The taping was only in Charlotte thus the flight would only be a little over an hour long. I was surprised that he was actually able to get a convenient flight and quite happy he didn't decide to just take the drive with some of the guys.

"So who was it?" he asked, pulling me from the content feeling of what the morning would bring.

"John and Randy," I replied, deciding not to make him guess any longer. "They brought enough alcohol to last us a few months. Supposed housewarming present, but I think they were just trying to get me drunk."

"Yeah, considering the only time any of us have seen you plastered was when you were in Randy's company," Adam said, making me recall a few Valentine's Day past. Not that I had many non-fuzzy memories of that night, but it was still a time I looked back on with fondness. "Surprised he was in the neighborhood."

"Had to show up at a FCW event," I said, knowing that he was implying about his current personal affairs. "He was catching a late flight tonight to get home before they are released tomorrow. You should see her picture. She is so adorable. And Randy? He was all proud and fatherly showing her off to us... so mature."

"So not Randy then," Adam offered with a laugh.

"He's gotten better the past year and you know it," I replied in the same lighthearted tone.

"Yeah, but I haven't been able to see it firsthand so much with us being on opposing brands," he responded truthfully. "Look, beautiful. I have to try and catch an hour's sleep before going to the airport. I promise I will see you when you wake up."

"Promise?" I asked softly, hating that our conversation needed to end.

"If you have the same sleeping habits you did in New York, then I promise," he replied through a chuckle.

I was prone to oversleeping on days I did not need to go into the office. I was hardly a morning person and it was one similarity that the two of us did share. Adam needed a cup of coffee in the morning to wake up. I was never a fan of the bitter liquid, but found myself becoming more and more attached to the caffeinated drug. Probably because it reminded me of a certain blond.

"Cute, handsome," I mumbled, getting up from the table and softly padding the distance back into the bedroom. "I'm going to get into bed right now and await your arrival."

"Is that so?" he replied, his voice taking a much lower, hungry tone. "I wish I was there right now with you."

"So do I," I said, sitting down on the mattress, forgetting about the fact that our relationship had seemingly been at a romantic standstill the past few weeks. It seemed like things were looking up. "But you'll be here soon."

"Soon," he muttered softly.

In one word, I heard so many emotions and promises for the future. In one word, I knew that through all of the trouble that I was having adjusting to changes in my life, I had found something I could hold onto... something I would not let go of.

"Sweet dreams, beautiful," he whispered into the receiver, sending shivers of pleasure down my spine.

"_Sweeter_ awakening."


	5. The Way We Are

** A.N. - It's been way too long, but I am back. Life has taken some twists and turns in my life as well as in the WWE. Edge retired, Jeff's off with some personal problems, and as for me, I just finished treatment for malignant melanoma. It was caught when it was only at Stage II thus a few surgeries was able to rid my body of the cancer. Still, at age twenty-four and never being a sun person, the diagnosis floored me. I am still recovering, but the experience gave me a new passion for writing. I am going to complete this story... as long as there are still readers out there. So thank you to all have read in the past (thanks vampiregirl2009, I'll miss you Edge, gimmesomeJustinGabriel.x, Hatter-Zombie, Kris21xX, and DanaO1230 for reviewing the last chapter many moons ago) and those who might read in the future. Your support and reviews will help see this finished and with all the passion I have in me. All the Best! :-)**

* * *

Wednesday July 16, 2008  
9:18 AM - Adam's House in Florida

I felt like I was floating. Everything was perfect in this world. Everything I wished for seemed to be granted. The life that could only exist in a dream. It felt so real, but I knew that it must be in my mind. Early morning consciousness was turning its ugly head and I knew it was only a matter of time before I awoke to an empty house once again. I willed my body to stay asleep a little longer; stay in my perfect fantasy. I felt soft kisses being placed on my neck and smiled. For once, dreaming was better than reality. In this world, Adam never had to leave. He was always by my side - happy, smiling (well, sometimes smirking), and loving.

I felt his hands roam over my body as I looked out into the perfect reverie before me. We were in Florida, on one of its many beaches. It was early in the day and the sun was high in the sky. The sun was beating down on my skin, but I wasn't scared of the burn. Adam's hands caused more of a sensation than the sun's rays ever could. He pulled me closer to him, attaching his lips to his special spot near the crook of my neck. It never failed to make me go weak and now was no exception.

"Wake up, beautiful."

I moved my gaze from the seashore and found my lover's green irises. He was smiling, as he pulled back from my flesh to whisper something unintelligible to me. And even though his lips were no longer on mine, I still felt them. They continued to press kisses, from my neck to my ear and finally over my brow. Yet _this_ Adam continued to stare so perfectly into my eyes. As much as I wanted to stay in this ideal world, I realized that it wasn't so flawless as I once thought. Things could never be perfect if they were real... life just doesn't work that way.

But at least you're awake... alive... in love.

"Mmm... Adam," I moaned, as I finally gave up on my dream world and opened my eyes.

I didn't feel the pressure of his lips on my skin anymore. As my eyes became more adjusted to the faint glow of sunlight in the room, I noticed that his side of the bed was still empty. His pillow left no indention of a head that might have slept there. My brain began to think a little more clearly and I remembered that it was only Wednesday. He would most likely be home later in the day. _But it all felt so real._ I let my eyes drift shut once more, hoping that I would be able to conjure my dream Adam to my mind once more.

"Miss me?"

Those words definitely didn't come from any dream apparition. With them, they brought to mind a conversation from just a night prior. He was home!

"Ad...!"

I didn't even get a chance to finish his name before his lips attached themselves to mine. I didn't need to open my eyes - the feel of his stubble rubbing against my skin, his dominant nature bruising my lips with sheer passion - were just a few of the indicators that he was actually with me. I quickly drew my hands up and grasped his golden mane with my fingers, pressing my body closer to his. He groaned in the back of his throat, spurring him to thrust his tongue into the depths of my mouth. It was my turn to bite back a groan as I felt myself quickly losing all control of my senses.

Adam broke the dominant hold his mouth had over mine and trailed his lips over the expanse of my cheek and down the length of my neck. Immediately, he found one of my more pleasurable spots at the base of my neck and lightly bit down. I leaned into the wet suction and pressure and moaned in pure ecstasy. Even though we hadn't been apart very long, my body yearned for him after only a brief reprieve. A few days was enough to drive me almost mad, and made me realize all over again that it would be impossible to function without him. All of my fears and doubts about this move not working dissipated when he was around... and especially when we found ourselves like this.

The pressure on my skin was released as he leaned back slightly to smirk at his handiwork. My half lidded eyes beamed at him, as my fingers played with strands of his hair. His gaze moved up to mine and the passion I found was enough to soak my core. He leaned back down and quickly devoured my mouth. In doing so in such haste, I was able to take him off guard and roll him over so he was pinned beneath me. I heard and felt a low chuckle rumble in his chest, but little sound was heard with our mouths mashed together.

Even though I was normally more than happy to let Adam be the dominant partner, there were times when I liked to take the initiative and show him just how much I needed him - both physically and emotionally. I broke the kiss and leaned back enough to thrust myself against the growing bulge in his denim jeans. I grinned at the slight pained, slight aroused look that graced his features after my brusque action. I moved my lips to his stubbled chin and worked them lower down his neck.

"So... um... _fuck_," Adam groaned, as he must have noticed how hard it was to talk. I had the same problem and was more than happy to let my body do the it for me. Nevertheless, he tried to proceed. "I talked... shit, _that feels so good_... talked to Chris last night."

I chuckled at his attempt to talk. Out of all the times to try and have a conversation, this was definitely the worst. I leaned back on my haunches, my legs still straddling him on either side. I looked down at him with a coy grin before reaching down and pulling my "Rated R Superstar" hockey jersey (which had become my preferred nightshirt when he was away) over my head. I flippantly tossed the fabric over my shoulder, hoping that being down to only my undergarments might stop anymore non-sexual thoughts from forming in my fiancé's mind.

"What does Chris have to do with _this_?" I asked, punctuating my last word with another thrust to his denim-clad manhood.

Satisfied that I must have made my point, I bent down and returned my lips to his. I was quite surprised when he pushed up sending me flat on my back at the other end of the mattress. The pressure of his kiss intensified to a bruising force and it was his turn to thrust our still clothed centers together. I reached up to cling to him, but he pushed my arms down and pinned them to the bed. At that moment, I decided to relinquish the control back to him and just enjoy the fervor of our entanglement. Yet it seemed Adam had other ideas.

"Why... didn't... you... tell... them?" Adam growled in between kisses. My mind was anything but clear and I could not process anything but what I was feeling physically.

"Huh?" I moaned out when Adam backed off of me completely.

He sat on the side of the bed for only a split second before rising to his feet. I stared up at him incredulously. My body was on fire and I knew his was too. But instead of trying to do something to quell the flames, he would rather talk... about something that I didn't even understand or could see the importance in.

"You didn't tell them, beautiful," he whispered bitterly, as he turned away from me to a pace a few steps away.

It seemed as if he was trying to calm his body down and not pay any attention to me. I sat up on the mattress and just stared at his back, watching the tense cotton-clad muscles along its expanse. I tried to remember what he had tried to tell me before... something about Chris? I searched my brain, but all I could think about was the heat between my thighs and how much I needed the man in front of me.

"I don't know what you are talking about," I started with a small smile, rising to my feet to stand only a few inches behind him. I reached up and lightly massaged his shoulders, my smile growing at the groan he emitted. "But can't whatever it is wait until..."

"You didn't tell them about the engagement," he blurted out, just as quick as it was harsh. He turned around, pushed my arms away, and returned to sit on the side of the bed. I opened and shut my mouth a few times before daring to speak.

"Of course I did," I said, trying to wrack my brain and recall yesterday's visit. _Chris, John, and Randy... drinks and talking over old times... pictures of Alanna_... I was almost sure that somewhere in there had to be talk of mine and Adam's pending nuptials. " I... thought I did anyway."

"Well, you didn't," Adam grumbled, as he refused to meet my gaze.

I could tell that he was have conflicting emotions of continuing this conversation or succumbing to his passion. I hoped that I could sway him to the later. I walked over to stand in front of him, placing myself in between his open legs. I reached down and ran my fingers through his hair once more, massaging his scalp below. I heard him hiss and knew that if I treaded carefully, I might just get him to finish what he started not ten minutes ago.

"Sorry," I murmured, lowering myself to sit straddling his lap. I could feel that his arousal had yet to dampen and had to bite back a grin. I tried to capture my lips in his, but he dodged my attempt and my lips grazed his cheek. That began to incense me. "Why are you so upset?"

Finally, his eyes locked with mine. His green irises burned, but I could not understand the reason for his anger. I could feel that he wanted this encounter to continue yet he would not let up on something I deemed a non-issue. Chris already knew about the engagement... or at least I thought he did. And John and Randy were sure to find out through the grapevine that was the WWE's rumor mill (particularly now that Shannon knew). They all knew that Adam and I were in love and had moved in together. What was the big hang-up on formally delegating, especially when he was one who always valued his privacy?

"Why didn't you want them to know about us?" he asked, in a tone that seemed to be as calm as he could muster in his half-aroused, half-embittered temperament.

"They _know _about us," I attested, brushing a few stray locks from his smoldering eyes. "That was one of our topics of conversation. You know, my whole big move down South."

"And yet the fact that we are _engaged to be married_ never came up?" he spat out almost before I could finish my sentence. I was beginning to sense that this was a no-win situation.

"I guess I figured that they knew?" I offered with a small smile and laugh. He didn't seem amused.

"Try again," he responded flatly.

I sighed and rose from his lap, the passionate mood having been totally destroyed. I doubted that it could be reclaimed and paced in front of his seated form. He comes in and sweeps me off into a world of lust and passion, only to send my crashing down into a blaze of frustration and repressed arousal.

"Okay, what is really bothering you?" I vented, stopping my pacing to glare down at the man I was to marry. "I am sorry that I didn't tell them, but it was an honest mistake. I'm still getting used to the idea myself that I..."

"Getting _used to _the idea?" he interrupted, and I immediately knew that I misspoke. It seemed that as of late I had to pick my words much more delicately and had a suspicion as to why. He rose to his feet and stared down at me. "Sorry that I thought _my fiancée_ would be over the moon that we are about to spend our lives together... that she would want to actually _tell people_ that we are engaged!"

"We are already spending our lives together, Adam!" I exclaimed, meeting his intense gaze with one of my own. "Us being engaged is just a formal way of designating it!"

That seemed to set him off. He laughed bitterly and when I looked into his eyes, I had a hard time separating him from the character he portrayed in the ring. He craned his neck to the side and regarded me with an ominous look.

"Should have known," he scoffed, shaking his head. I knew that I was already on shaky ground, but needed to find out if my suspicions were right; that all of these questions were because of a certain Cameron native.

"Known what?" I asked pensively.

"This has to do with Hardy, doesn't it?"

And my suspicions were confirmed. I glowered at him and pushed passed him in anger. This would never end. I knew that I was going back on my own thoughts not fifteen minutes ago, but this was the reason I was having serious doubts about this relationship. He could not get past the fact that my best friend was Jeff Hardy. He could not seem to get it through his thick skull that whatever romantic feelings were once there were gone... or at least buried deep within us. I was solely committed to my relationship with Adam, just like he was with Beth.

"No," I answered curtly, when I finally turned to look at him once more.

"You sure about that?" he asked cynically, bobbling his head oh so slightly. _And the transformation was complete_... he was no longer Adam, but Edge. "Cause your view of this engagement seems to mirror his and I don't remember it ever being as such."

"So that is what this is about," I grumbled, reaching down to pick up my discarded nightshirt. I pulled it over my head and when my gaze returned to my lover, noticed he was still trying process my last statement.

"What do you mean?" he asked, furrowing his brow in confusion. I walked the few steps to close the distance between us and reached up to cup his face in my hands.

"You're not mad at me for not telling the guys," I attested with a sickening sweet grin on my face.

"The hell I'm not," he interrupted, reaching up to pull my arms away from him and back down to my sides.

"You're _mad_ because you _think _I didn't tell the guys because of _Jeff_," I said, punctuating a few of my words with harsh jabs of my finger to his chest.

"No, I'm just... mad," Adam said, beginning the statement more confidently than he ended it.

I just shook my head and grumbled under my breath, walking over to the dresser to grab my hairbrush. I needed to keep my mind off my still aching need and obvious frustration at the man in front of me. He acted like such an immature brat sometimes. I knew that I could be just as guilty on that charge at times, but he was just being actually ludicrous with his suspicions.

"You need to get over whatever animosity you two have towards each other," I said, running the brush through my tangled hair, looking at both my reflection and his in the dresser's mirror. "'Cause if it continues, then I don't think I will be able to see either of you."

I was sure that that statement would take him off guard and by the way his reflection changed in the mirror, I could say it had. He walked over so he stood with his body pressed flush behind me and I could tell that our conversation had certainly killed his arousal as well. The frown that was already on my face spread, and his expression took on a life of its own constantly seeming to shift between hurt and angered.

"Excuse me?" he spat out.

If the situation was any less tense, I would have laughed at his choice of words. Yet I guess since his mannerisms had taken on the appearance of his on-screen character, his words could mimic his fictional wife. I stared directly into his eyes in the mirror as I set the brush down on the wood in front of me.

"It is just getting too hard," I responded earnestly. I couldn't stay on this emotional roller coaster and I felt like the move down to Florida would help it finally come to a stop. Yet it seemed to do little to change Adam's feeling toward certain relationships in my life. "This constant suspicion on your part, the less than warm feelings on his. You two will _never_ fully get along - I get that. And I even respect that fact. But I care about you both. I _love _you both. But I am only _in love_ with _you_."

I thought that I would get through to him - that he would see that he was just being ridiculous. When I told him that I was only in love with him, he usually broke out into a toothy grin and swept me off my feet. This time, he just looked defeated. His expression matched my spirit. I didn't know if there was any more I could do.

"Whatever," he whispered, turning around to head out of the room.

I sharply turned around and started after him.

"Where are you going?" I asked as I followed him out of his bedroom and down the hallway.

"Out," he replied curtly, grabbing his keys from a table nearby before turning to head to the front door.

I quickly sidestepped him to impede his path, but he just pushed by me. I watched as he pushed the sunglasses down over his eyes and open the door. I grasped his hand on the door knob with my own, stalling him from leaving. None of this made sense, as I should have been the one who was mad at him. I was allowed to vent my frustrations about the relationship not working when I was at least making sacrifices for it. He, on the other hand, was just being jealous and petty. And yet here I was, feeling as if I was a failure as a fiancée.

"But you just got home," I pleaded. He opened the door wider and I removed my hand from his. He didn't spare me a look as he exited his home and headed over to his jeep. "Adam!"

I got no reply, not even a kiss-off wave. He just got in his jeep and sped away, leaving me leaning against the door for support, clad only in his jersey, as tears cascaded down my cheeks. What was happening to this relationship and would I ever be able to fix it?

* * *

_Saturday January 26, 2008  
11:58 AM - Nami's Apartment: New York_

_"You do know that you're going to be late? And you can't use me as a scapegoat seeing as I don't work for the company anymore."_

_"I'm not going to be late. You've seen me drive."_

_"Still... Adam left a few hours ago and..."_

_Jeff silenced me by covering my mouth with his hand. I glowered at him from behind his appendage, but he just smiled. His shoulder length, blond hair fell in front of his eyes slightly, but I could still see the cheshire like gleam in them. Even at thirty years old, his eyes could portray the mischievous nature of an adolescent._

_"Meemz, don't worry," he drawled, the smile never leaving his face. "Adam had to pick up Chris from his hotel as well as do some press for the Rumble tomorrow. I, on the other hand, just have to find my way to Rhode Island by three o'clock."_

_I tried to tell him that that meant he should have left a half hour ago, but all he must have heard was garbled words as my mouth was still blocked by his hand. He laughed and finally relinquished his hold, walking out of my living quarters and into the kitchen. I shook my head and sat back down on my sofa. _

_So much had changed in my life while still staying the same. That seemed like a contradiction, but over the past two months, I was given a second chance to build relationships with people that I already knew. It was confusing but made sense in my head, and in the context of my story. By writing the memoir of my time as a WWE Diva, the appropriately titled "Confessions of a WWE Diva", I was able to meet some of the most amazing people. These people had become so near and dear to my heart that it was hard to finally accept the reality that I was not in fact a WWE Diva, but a writer with a job to do. I thought that my departure from the company and my subsequent literary release would doom any hope I had of reconciliation with the people from my feigned lifestyle. I had grown to care deeply for many people who never really got to see the real me buried behind the title of Diva Search Contestant. _

_But I was wrong. With the help of a certain blond haired Canadian, I was able to regain all of my former friends, including my very own slightly younger blond haired Canadian. It had only been a few months since I came face to face with all of them again, but my friends all welcomed me back into the fold. Some relationships barely needed any repair. Randy and I had seen each other a few months before our formal reconciliation and worked through bruised feelings and animosity. John was just happy that I made the company sound good in my journal and hardly cared that I was there under false pretenses. Jay had had suspicions that there was something up for weeks before I left the business. He never was one to hold a grudge and time had barely seemed to dampen any of the sibling-like feelings we shared toward one another. Jeff didn't mind in the least. He was just happy to have his friend back. _

_And then there was Adam... He was the only one to show some hostility toward my 'second coming,' as Chris had labeled it. I thought that I had lost him for good when he left the studio after the television panel. But I was wrong once again as he arrived at my apartment ready and willing to try and work through things. After a rocky start, everything got back on track and we began our relationship anew with a promise of complete honesty from there on in. I was just eternally grateful that some of the most important people in my life were going to be around for years to come, something I dreamed would never be feasible._

_I was even going to attend my first WWE event since my departure tomorrow night at the Royal Rumble at Madison Square Garden. Jeff was going to be wrestling Randy for the WWE Championship, while Adam was defending his World Heavyweight Championship against Rey Mysterio. I was excited, but apprehensive at the same time. What would it be like to be backstage once more yet this time just as an observer? _

_"So... you ready for tomorrow night?" Jeff asked, coming back into the room with a glass of iced tea in hand. _

_I laughed at how even though he didn't know it, he almost read my mind. It was nice to know that some things time could never kill, and one of them seemed to be the strange metaphysical wavelength that Jeff and I both shared. I turned to face him and smiled at how normal everything felt. We hadn't been able to spend much time together with his busy schedule and the recently passed holidays. That was one of the reasons he decided to stop over to the apartment before taking the over three hour trip to Providence for the Supershow tonight._

_"I was just thinking about it," I said truthfully. "I don't know how to feel about it. Part of me can't wait and part of me is nervous about what I will feel."_

_"You think some old negative feelings will resurface?" he pondered, and I could only marvel at how well he knew me. I nodded and he laughed, taking a sip of his tea. "Don't worry about it, darlin'. No one's going to bother you. And if they even start something, you have at least three of us who'll be there to put them in their place."_

_"I just wish John could be there," I mused, sad that the West Newbury native was still out with his torn pectoral muscle. There was now even a rumor that he might not be back in time for Wrestlemania. I knew that must have been a tough pill for him to swallow. I tried to call him last night and talk to him about it... just see how he was holding up, but the call went right to his voicemail._

_"He's always there in spirit," Jeff replied. "Just look out into the arena and you'll see his colors emblazoned throughout the crowd. Well, maybe not at MSG."_

_The New York crowd was known to be more hardcore wrestling audience than little kids with families. That wasn't to say they were a rowdy, dangerous crowd... just a rowdy, anti-Cena (or PG WWE) crowd. Jeff was right when speculating that the crowd would have been very much against the Chain Gang Commander. I actually wouldn't be surprised if they cheered Adam over Rey._

_"You always get cheered though," I stated with a smile. "Must be something to do with the death defying moves and bright colored hair..."_

_"...that is quite bland at the moment, isn't it?" he asked, twirling a few strands of his blond hair with his fingers. "I was going to dye it before tomorrow, but I don't know. What do you think?"_

_"Well, as you know, I do prefer blonds," I said flirtatiously, batting my eyelashes obscenely in his direction._

_"Blond it is, then," he exclaimed with a grin, laughing at my pretend flirtation._

_We had gotten past our previous romantic inclinations. Jeff and I were ready to spend the rest of our lives as best friends. Yet that didn't mean that we couldn't engage in harmless flirtation. I knew Adam might have a small problem with it, but he realized how much the North Carolinian meant to me. We had a relationship that no one could replicate._

_"I still intend on seeing some high flying action though, even if the hair isn't very Jeff Hardyesque," I said with a grin, leaning back against the sofa cushion._

_"You will," he replied with a sigh._

_"Okay, what was that?" I asked, with a curious grin. "Usually, you can't wait to try and petrify me by explaining moves you want to attempt."_

_He took a long swig of his tea and looked off into space. I could tell he was lost in his own mind and didn't know what it was I said that made him turn meditative. I was about to respond when he turned his gaze back to me with a small smile._

_"This whole program with Orton has been intense," he confessed, looking down at the amber liquid in his glass. "It's my first real run for one of the main titles, you know... and I've been going all out, but..."_

_"You've been pushing yourself," I finished for him. He nodded and took another swallow of tea. "I saw that swanton you did on Randy the other night - the one from the side of the Tron. Just so you know... you nearly gave me a heart attack."_

_"That was my sole intention," he said with a grin, before turning serious once more. "This program is one of the best of my career. With Matt being out 'cause of his appendicitis and all, I feel like I am finally on my own in the WWE. This is my real first singles push and I wanted to make it as best I can, but..."_

_"Jeff, if you are pushing yourself too hard, you should stop," I said, genuinely concerned about my friend's health and safety. "You aren't a kid anymore..."_

_"Thanks," he muttered with a chuckle, as I continued my slight lecture._

_"You should slow down if not only to prolong your career, your physical well being," I stated, reaching over to take his hand. He looked down as we entwined our fingers._

_"You sound like Beth, you know," he mused with a smile. "So, I'll tell you the same thing I told her: I'm fine. Nothing's going to happen to me and I never do a move that I don't feel comfortable doing."_

_"I know, but..."_

_"I once told you that I could probably do a swanton in my sleep and I meant it," Jeff stressed, bringing my hand to his lips, kissing the skin above my middle knuckle. "Don't worry so much about me. Copeland is the one with history of injuring himself."_

_"Don't remind me," I grumbled, as he let our grasped hands fall back to the cushion below. "He's already torn his pectoral and every night I see him spear his opponent, I feel that if he is one millimeter off, he'll do more damage to it."_

_"He knows his limits as well," Jeff answered, setting his still half-full glass on my coffee table before pulling me to him. I leaned against his chest, as he fell back into a lying position on the sofa. "You're going to need to learn to not worry so much. Injuries happen, but we will always come home to you. Never forget that."_

_"I won't," I said, settling myself on his chest, my head leaning over his heart. I listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat and felt calmer. "Still... I'll talk to Randy if you..."_

_"I'm perfectly fine, Meemz," he exclaimed incredulously, chuckling at my unwillingness to let the subject go. "Damn, are you like this with Adam too?"_

_"Maybe," I replied coyly. _

_I felt him press a kiss to my hair and smiled. I was so happy that he decided to stop by, even if I still believed he would get in trouble on my account. We spent the next few moments in blissful silence, just enjoying being in each other's company. I kept looking over at the wall clock, knowing that at any moment he would have to leave and dreading it. _

_"Stop watching the time."_

_Once again... no one knew me better. _


	6. Never Give Up: Part I

A.N. - Normal disclaimer. I do not own WWE and its associated Superstars. To everyone who has read and stuck with me through my long absence, **thank you**! Especially to my wonderful reviewers - **moxxie23, I'll miss you Edge, Hatter Zombie, bestintheworldx3,** and** Kris21xX** - who not only helped me have the passion to continue, but also warmed my heart with their kind words for me personally. We may not know each other in life, but I **thank you all** for your kind thoughts. This chapter ran away from me and is now split into two parts (even though the second part is not even close to being done :-(). I couldn't fit it all in one. It's just a way of reintroducing the characters from the original story, as well as set up some major themes for the rest of the story. The next part really starts the drama and real core of the story...** All the Best! :-)**

* * *

_Sunday January 27, 2008  
8:14 PM - Madison Square Garden_

_"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!"_

_I hastily slammed the taxicab door and stumbled onto the sidewalk in my three inch pumps. The cold January New York weather only further dampened my mood. I couldn't believe that I had just arrived at the Royal Rumble when I was supposed to meet Adam backstage almost four hours ago. I tried calling him to tell him about my delay, but could only reach his voicemail. Same thing went for Jeff, Chris, Randy... even the ever reliable Shannon. Did Vince implement a 'no cell phone policy' in the few months since I had left the company? I just hoped that I didn't miss any of my friends in action, and that I would still be able to get in._

_Today had been a day from Hell. Nothing went right and I knew that it was just a sign of things to come for me this upcoming week. After getting off the phone with Adam in the morning, I realized that while we were talking, I had received an urgent message from my boss at Hachette. Mr. Edgar Williams was not a man to blow off, especially since he only called his subordinates on the weekend if it was a dire emergency. Yet for once, I wished I followed my best friend's motto and just lived in the moment and for myself._

_Mr. Williams needed me to help him with a presentation for the senior partners on Monday. Hachette was the second largest publisher in the world and thus had many significant authors signed to major deals. When these authors were pitching a new book or negotiating a new contract, all hands were on deck... even ones who really should be preparing for a night of friends and fights. Instead, I found myself dressed in a blazer and dress skirt making my way to the Park Avenue office for a long day of fact checking, researching, and PowerPoint creating. _

_By the time we had finished, the digital clock in his office blinked 7:38 PM and I rushed to the street to hitch a ride to the arena. Fast-forward almost thirty minutes and I finally arrived. I surveyed the large arena in front of me with a frown. How was I supposed to get in when the event was already in progress? I tried to call my list of contacts again, but got the same result. _

_By the time my final call was made, I had made it around to the service entrance for the Garden. I saw the multitude of security that surrounded the entrance and knew that there was little I could do. I may have been a former Diva, but I knew how strict the security at events could be. You could be the President of the United States and they wouldn't let you through without credentials or an escort from an active employee._

_I was beginning to freeze standing outside for so long. The temperature was a little bit below freezing and I had forgotten my gloves and scarf at the office. My sensible work clothes and pea coat did little to shield me from any gust of wintry air._

_I figured that my only way to make it inside would be to find a scalper and buy a ticket to the event. That was if there were still scalpers with tickets available. The show had already started, so I wasn't very optimistic. Yet I still hustled to the front of the arena once more and looked around. I walked up and down the stairs around the front sidewalk and tried to spot one. Nothing... not like I could say I was surprised._

_"I've got tickets! Who needs tickets?"_

_Maybe luck was on my side after all. I looked around and found the source of the voice. Yankee cap pulled over his eyes, baggy jeans with a Rocawear pullover, and cell phone in hand... definitely seemed like a full-time scalper and not a narc. I had to be cautious; after all, scalping wasn't exactly a legal business. I smiled and made my way over to him, trying my best not to seem too eager but it was hard not to tell that I bursting of happiness that I was almost inside._

_"You still have tickets for the Rumble?" I asked, coming up alongside the man. He turned to face me and regarded me with a grin._

_"Wait a second... I know you," he mumbled in a thick nasal Brooklyn accent, rubbing his chin in thought. At that moment, I didn't care about anything but buying a ticket, going inside, and trying to find a way to get to Adam backstage. "You're... you're Nami Shepherd, aren't you?"_

_"Uh-huh," I said with a small smile and nervous chuckle. _

_I hoped he wasn't one of the legion of "Confessions" haters who thought that I should be sued for everything I owned because of my espionage. And trust me, there were a lot of them. For every person who liked the book, there was one who hated it, or so it seemed. I knew that you couldn't please everyone all the time, but I figured that with the retroactive blessing from the WWE and its Superstars, the book would not attract too much negative attention (except from the critics who thought I was too soft on the profession itself)._

_"You worked for the damn company and they still make you buy a ticket," the man said humorously, and I had to grin. He did have a point. "I've heard McMahon likes to save money, but that ain't right."_

_"Yeah, I'll be sure to mention that to him," I said jokingly, fidgeting with nervous energy of wanting to be with my friends and out of the cold. "But I still need a ticket."_

_"Oh, I got you," he exclaimed with a nod, pulling three tickets from his coat pocket. His hazel eyes gleamed happily in the street light. I guess I would be happy to if I actually made a sale after the pay-per-view had started. "Only have three left. You want the best seat?"_

_"Um, no. I really just need a way inside," I said truthfully._

_"Sure - that would be Section 404," he stated, looking over his tickets. He returned his gaze to mine with a smile. "You sure, you wouldn't want a closer seat? I still have one in..."_

_"No!" I cried out, interrupting him. I closed my eyes and calmed down, remembering that he was my only way in at the moment. I opened my eyes and stared across at the man. Our eye line was level with me in my heels and I could see through the shadows of his hat that he was questioning my outburst."Sorry... Section 404 is fine. I don't plan on actually using the seat anyway."_

_He gave me a quizzical look before a grin returned to his lips._

_"I think I get your drift," he said nodding. "That'll be a hundred bucks."_

_"What?" I exclaimed, knowing that the price he was asking was a ludicrous amount. I just then realized that maybe I should make myself a little less conspicuous with this being illegal and all. "You've got to be joking. That is like four times the face value and the event has started."_

_"And I know how much you want to get inside," he said with a gleam in his baseball cap-shadowed eyes. "Nothing personal, but I'm trying to make a living here."_

_I surveyed my options. I could either pay the obscene amount and get in the Rumble or try and find another way in. Even though scalping wasn't legal, it was definitely more so than my other thought of storming through security. I sighed and reached in my purse to find my wallet. Some luck was on my side as I had enough cash on hand to pay the man. I pulled the five twenties from my wallet and handed them to him. He smiled and handed me the ticket._

_"Thank you," I muttered, before turning around and heading back toward the building._

_"Loved the book by the way," he shouted at my retreating form. I didn't turn around to verbally respond, deciding to just wave over my shoulder._

_"Please don't let there be any cops around," I murmured to myself and the heavens above. "Just let me get inside."_

_I was so close to finally being inside where it was warm and at least a few steps closer to Adam. I was only a few strides away from the glass doors now. Maybe this night would be salvaged._

_"Freeze! You're under arrest!"_

_Fuck! This just didn't seem to be my day! I froze, but my mind continued to race. Could I really be arrested for buying a ticket from a scalper... especially to an event for a company I used to work for? I shook my head and knew that I wasn't above the law, no matter what the circumstances. Yet I figured it wouldn't hurt to plead my case._

_I turned around and stared at the man a few paces from me. Muscular build, sunglasses even though it was dark, heavy black down coat, and a seemingly brand-new Yankee cap. He looked somewhat familiar, but with the cap, glasses, and coat collar pulled up so high, I couldn't get a good look at his face. He didn't exactly look like a police officer, but I figured that any narc on the street would be well undercover._

_"Listen, officer," I started as calmly as I could muster. "This is a huge misunderstanding."_

_"Let me see the ticket, miss," he asked in a gruff, muffled tone as he stepped closer and extended his gloved hand._

_I shakily reached out and handed him the ticket. He stared down at the little cardstock document in his hand, as I fought to keep myself together. I pulled my gaze from the imposing cop and tried to spot the man whom had sold me the ticket. Just my luck as I saw his bright red pullover quickly leaving the scene of the crime... not like I could blame him. I looked back at the man in front of me and noticed a shadow of a grin on his face as he surveyed the ticket._

_"Um... my boyfriend is inside and..." I started, but was quickly interrupted. _

_"Did he purchase his ticket legally or do you both share an affection for breaking the law?" he asked harshly, returning his sunglass-clad eyes to my frightened ones._

_"He's a wrestler... for the WWE," I said timidly, nervously fidgeting from foot to foot. "I was trying to... get in and see him."_

_"You expect me to believe that you are dating a wrestler, but need to scalp a nosebleed ticket to see him?" he asked incredulously, his baritone voice hardly showing any amusement. "Do you want to add lying to a law enforcement officer as another charge?"_

_"No!" I exclaimed, taking a step closer to him. "Please... you have to believe me!"_

_"Actually, I don't have to do anything," he stated evenly, as he pushed my ticket into his pocket. "You, on the other hand, have to follow me."_

_He reached out and grasped my wrist in his hand. He stayed silent as he walked me around to the side of the building. I looked over and saw that the service entrance wad filled with even more guards. I brought my gaze back to the officer and wondered what he was planning on doing._

_"Don't you have to read me my rights?" I asked nervously, unsure if I wanted to push the man anymore than I already had. He just mumbled something as we continued a slow place toward the service entrance. "Why are we headed over..."_

_"Why are you asking so many questions?" he answered brusquely, turning to spare me a small glance. "You should be thinking about who you are going to contact with your only phone call."_

_This just didn't seem real. I couldn't think of the possibility of actually going to jail even though it was staring me right in the face. Who could I call? Adam, Jeff, and the guys were incommunicado. My father would have a heart attack if his only daughter called him in the middle of the night from jail. My two non-wrestling friends Danielle and Steven were off at conferences in St. Louis and California respectively and would be of little help. And there was no way I would call Mr. Williams... even though he did say he owed me a favor. Sure, he might bail me out, but then I would probably be without a job. _

_"Where did you go? We've been looking all over for you!"_

_The brash exclamations made me look at the security guards fifty yards away. They were looking in this direction, seemingly speaking to us. Maybe Adam had told them to be on guard for me? Maybe they could reason with this no-nonsense officer and get me out of my predicament. I watched as the guards parted and Shane McMahon stepped into view. I had to smile, as I knew that the eldest McMahon child could vouch my story._

_"Dad's going to fucking blow if you were seen."_

_I looked quizzically at Shane as the officer and I continued to walk toward the entrance. I watched as the officer shrugged, but said nothing. I opened my mouth to speak, but Shane had quickly turned to head back inside. He was shaking his head and mumbling, but gave a final instruction to the guards._

_"Let them pass."_

_All of the guards parted and allowed the officer to lead me through the metal doors and into the warm confines of the backstage area of Madison Square Garden. He let go of my wrist and I stumbled a few steps away from him. He continued to hide in his bulky clothing and accessories, but in the light I could make out a few more of his features. My brain was beginning to decode the mystery when he stepped only inches from my face and grinned._

_"Surprise," he whispered in his normal baritone voice._

_My eyes widened and I quickly opened my mouth to vent my absolute abhorrence of what he had done. He quickly reached out and covered my parted lips with his gloved hand. With the other, he brought his finger to his lips and shushed me. My eyes blazed as he tilted his head to the side before letting me go. I followed him into the small janitor's closet nearby. As soon as the door was shut, I advanced on him and pounded my fists into his muscular chest._

_"You are such a fucking bastard! You know how scared I was! Adam is going to kill you when he finds out!"_

_He let me rant, but I could see he was enjoying himself immensely... especially when he pulled the glasses off his eyes to reveal his sparkling baby blues. My hazel irises were not so bright, as my body was still in shock from all that transpired in the last half hour._

_"You know the first time we met was in a closet just like this."_

_His warm smile and gaze halted more of my tirade. I thought back on that day in Los Angeles near the beginning of the Diva Search contest, when us girls were so low in the company that we had to change in janitor's closets. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but was only a little over fifteen months. He moved closer to me, opened his arms, and pulled me into a warm embrace. I tried to stay mad at him, but it was hard when his warm body felt so good pressed into my cold one. I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck and sighed. Yet as soon as my body returned to a normal temperature, I pulled away and slugged him in his muscular torso._

_"You know you nearly gave me a heart attack out there, Cena."_

_John chuckled as he regained the air in his lungs. He pulled me to him once more and kissed the side of my mouth. I was still very annoyed with the West Newbury native, but had to admit I was happy to see him. The last time we were together was the day after the interview panel for my book. He had to continue rehabbing his injury, and Florida was a long way from New York. I leaned against him and tried to fight the smile threatening to form. He really had got me good and I had to feel somewhat honored to be part of one of John's infamous pranks, even if it was on the receiving end._

_"Was I a convincing cop?" he asked with a grin. I pushed him away from me with a sarcastic chuckle. _

_"Do you even have to ask?" I asked rhetorically. "I think I am still shaking."_

_"Good to know... not about the shaking," he answered, laughing. "I just got a script for a new movie and I've got the role of a cop. Figured I'd give it a test run."_

_"When you played a marine, did you 'test run' that as well?" I asked sardonically, shaking my head. I crossed my arms over my chest and gazed up at him. "Is there any chance this little incident can stay just between the two of us?"_

_"To quote the boss, 'no chance in Hell,'" John replied with a smirk and wink. "I can't wait to tell Orton."_

_"Adam's still going to kill you, you know," I mused, which earned a shrug from him._

_"Maybe after he recovers from dying of laughter," John stated, the grin refusing to leave his lips. "Which brings up a point of why you needed to buy a ticket to get in anyway. You and Adam have a fight or something?"_

_"No, no... nothing like that," I responded with a sigh, recalling my day before the whole arresting incident. "My boss at Hachette needed me to help him with a presentation for tomorrow. Nicholas Sparks is flying in with his new novel and we need to..."_

_"'The Notebook' guy?" John interrupted._

_"Yeah, 'The Notebook' guy," I murmured with another sigh before raising my brow. "Big 'Notebook fan, are you? You like 'A Walk to Remember' too?"_

_"Very funny," he replied flatly. "My girlfriend is obsessed with that movie, not me. But anyway, back to your story..."_

_"Trying to change the subject away from your love of sappy romance movies?" I asked with a sparkle in my eye._

_"Very cute," he muttered with a grin. "But back to your day..."_

_"Ugh, I wish I never went in as everything needed to be perfect before Mr. Williams would let me go," I replied, shaking my head at the memories of the day. I didn't even have time for lunch or dinner, but my hunger was the last thing on my mind at the moment. "I just got out of there an hour ago."_

_"Which would explain the attire," he said, gesturing to my open navy coat, business wear, and heels. "You want me to go buy you a Cena shirt so you can blend in?"_

_"I'll take my chances like this," I said, replying to his joking nature in kind. "But anyway, I needed to find a way into the arena because I had tried calling the whole gang, but no one picked up. Did Vince implement a new..."_

_I didn't get to finish my question as John's laughter halted me. I furrowed my brow and watched the older man mumble something under his breath. My annoyance with him was creeping up once more._

_"It's not a new rule... just for tonight," he said with a grin. "Even though no one knows I'm here, he didn't want the news to get out. I'm making my triumphant return in the Rumble."_

_I barely heard his last statement about returning because my brain was focused on how he indirectly had caused the lack of communication between all of us. I whacked him on the arm, causing more laughter to emerge from him. I paced around the small confines of the closet as John came back down from his laughter. He just grinned and made a show of shrugging his shoulders. I opened my mouth to retort, but stopped when the loud vibration of a cell phone pierced the air. He reached in his side jean pocket and retrieved the offending device._

_"Hey... yeah, I'm in the building," he muttered into the phone. I watched as he reached up to replace the sunglasses over his eyes. "Don't worry, nobody saw me..."_

_I assumed by the tone in John's voice and the garbled noise coming from the receiver that he was speaking with none other than Vincent Kennedy McMahon. The last time we saw each other at the panel discussion, he had been very cordial and understanding. He was also shocked when I revealed that I would not be accepting any of my pay from my tenure with the company and instead donating it to the charities of WWE's choosing. Any ill feelings he might have had seemed to dissipate. Adam later told me that Vince never really holds hatred in his heart, but he never forgets anything. That was the mark of a good businessman - always ready to do whatever he needed to do to make the best deal._

_"Well, she can keep a secret, you know that..."_

_John turned his gaze back to me with a smile on his lips. I grinned and had to nod, as it seemed Shane must have informed his father of my presence. Vince had to be well aware that I could keep secrets as well as anyone. My whole time as a Diva was shrouded in secrets, some that I still had yet to live down._

_"Yeah, I know... I know... I'll be there in five," he said before pressing his finger to the screen and putting his phone back in his pocket. "Guess you heard the man."_

_"Some of it," I replied, smiling._

_He pulled me into another embrace before trying his best to fix his disguise. I reached out and pulled his collar up, zipping up the black coat until his face was thrown in shadow once more. He pulled the Yankee hat further down over his eyes. Stepping back he extended his arms, wordlessly asking me to regard his appearance. Now that I knew who was under the disguise, I couldn't believe that I was fooled so well. _

_"Don't linger in sight too long," I mused, which earned a chuckle and nod from my companion. "And just so you know, your secret is safe with me."_

_He grasped my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the skin below the knuckles. I smiled as we walked hand and hand out of the small closet and back into the desolate hallway. He put a finger of his free hand to his lips as he slowly let me deep into the bowels of the arena. Every now and again, he had me peer around a corner to see if anyone was present, but the trip to the center was quite uneventful. I was surprised that so few people were milling about, but thought that maybe Vince had them on lockdown as well. I knew first hand that it was hard to keep a secret from the WWE fans, especially in the social media age we lived in._

_He stopped walking and turned to face me, pointing to a photocopied sign on the cinderblock wall. It had lists of rooms and their usages for the night. I was all too familiar with these signs from my time as a Diva and just nodded my head. He leaned in to kiss my cheek and quickly hustled down the small hallway and into a non-descript door which I figured was Vince's office. I let out one final sigh before deciding that I needed to find Adam. I looked at the list and figured the commissary was my best bet. The catering area was known to house many wrestlers for it contained a large screen where they could watch the action. I looked down the list to find the location of my destination._

_"Where the fuck have you been?"_

_I hastily turned around and a smile immediately found its way to my lips. I regarded the sweaty and slightly bloodied man striding my way, but didn't care about his state of disarray. I ran over and right into his arms. He laughed and let his blood stained towel fall to the linoleum floor. He ruffled my hair before pulling back to gaze down at me._

_"You look quite professional," he mused in a mockingly serious tone, pointing to my attire._

_"And you look... busted open," I murmured, reaching up to run my finger underneath a gash on his forehead. "I guess I missed your match, huh?"_

_"That you did, and if you don't hurry, you'll miss Adam's," he replied, reaching down to pick up his towel before taking my hand in his._

_Chris pulled me along down the hallway and up a small flight of stairs. I had totally forgotten that at the Royal Rumble pay-per-view, the title matches go on before the Rumble match itself. And since the Rumble takes on average an hour to complete, it was no small surprise that Adam's match would be beginning so soon. I heard Chris say something to a security guard nearby, causing the man to let us pass. As soon as we pushed through the curtain, I was assailed by the sights and sounds of the Garden's floor. I had finally made it... and it looked like not a moment too soon._

_"How dare you tell the love of my life that I don't love her!"_

_I smiled as my boyfriend's voice reverberated throughout the arena and turned my eyes to the Titantron as the pre-taped package played before the match. Luckily, Edge and Vickie weren't in the midst of one of their infamous kisses at the moment when my eyes focused on the screen. Chris led me over to the audio/visual table fifty yards away from ringside. He whispered something to the A/V workers causing them to turn and nod in my direction. Chris pulled me into another embrace, placing his ear next to mine so I could hear him over all the noise._

_"You can watch the match out here," he said, and I was immediately grateful that Chris Jericho was my savior once more. It seemed some things never changed. "The guys have a job to do so don't get in the way or I'll be the one that hears about it. After the match, go back the way we came and the guard will take you to see Adam."_

_"And how much do I owe you for all this?" I asked sarcastically, as we both laughed as I was once again indebted to him._

_"You think you know me..."_

_I turned from one blond Canadian as I tried to spot another. I heard my companion laugh as he leaned down next to my ear._

_"Nothing much - just the name of your first born," he joked. I turned back to him, lightly whacking his shoulder. _

_He waved me off before turning around and disappearing through the curtain. I turned back to the ring and my sole focus became the man with the shiny gold belt around his waist. He slid into the ring and went to pose on the ring post nearest to my position. He raised the sign of horns with both of his arms over his head and I melted. I missed seeing him in this atmosphere. He radiated such contentment when in the ring, like he belonged there. I guess that came from doing something that you had dreamed about since you were a child. He got to live his dream every night._

_Soon after, Adam stopped his posing to clap for his 'girlfriend' as Teddy Long wheeled wheelchair-bound General Manager Vickie Guerrero out to ringside. I watched as he blew her a few kisses and smiled. Edge was such an ass... but a very lovable one. Hawkins and Ryder soon made their way to ringside as well, while Edge continued to pay attention to his sitting girlfriend. The music died down before Rey's theme blared throughout the arena. _

_After making his entrance, the two combatants waited in the ring for their introductions. And I think both men were taken slightly aback at the much more favorable response that Edge received over his underdog opponent. The match soon began and a "Let's go Edge" chant started up. I laughed to myself, remembering my conversation with Jeff from yesterday. We were right... Madison Square Garden was definitely a different crowd. I wondered how they would respond to a certain West Newbury native later in the night. If he wasn't making a surprise return, I would surmise it would be badly._

_Rey tripped Edge in the ring and dropkicked him in the head for a near fall. The crowd was immediately booing the masked wrestler as I cringed for my boyfriend's safety. Edge made it to his feet and stared at the smaller man, surprise in his eyes. The next few moments were spent with Edge trying to slow the match down by throwing Rey outside near the ramp. Hawkins and Ryder tried to interfere, but the ref spotted them before Edge could distract the referee and they were ejected from ringside, causing the crowd to boo once more._

_Rey quickly returned to the ring and had Edge set up for the 619, but settled for a crossbody on the outside. Edge slowed the pace once more with a kick to the knee of Mysterio. The crowd ate it up and another "Let's Go Edge" chant started up. I laughed to myself and watched as Edge taunted the crowd, but it didn't get the desired effect. They cheered him and he had to shake his head. Nothing he did would get them to give him his desired heat... well, maybe short of kissing Vickie. That would have probably done it, but it wasn't something I was looking forward to seeing live. Watching them on television was bad enough._

_The match soon turned to submissions as Edge tried to weaken Mysterio's high flying offense. Soon, I was no longer watching the actual moves, but just the blond man doing them. I could see Adam's love for the business in every little eye twitch, every head bobble. It made my heart flutter to see him so engaged, so unlike his real personality. Sure, he did have a little bit of 'Edge' in him, but outside of the ring, I normally only saw 'Adam.' It was somewhat refreshing to see 'Edge' once again._

_After three very close near falls for the challenger, Edge recovered and tried to use his patented spear. Yet instead he ate the ring post, setting Mysterio up to execute a hurricanrana, sending the blond to hang from the middle rope. The crowd cheered for the signature 619 followed by a crossbody splash on the fallen champ. Vickie quickly pulled the ref away before he could count to three. Once again, much of the crowd reacted with acceptance. Mysterio turned to argue with Vickie which caused Edge to go for another spear. He was unsuccessful as Rey dodged the attempt, causing Edge to hit the middle rope once more._

_Everyone in the arena knew that another 619 was coming, but didn't expect Vickie to jump up and grasp her boyfriend, taking the brunt of the hit herself. This caused Mysterio to become distracted and he waited a moment too long to vault himself from the top rope. Edge had recovered and speared him in midair. The sound when the two men hit the mat was thunderous as it echoed throughout the arena. I cringed, but soon a smile formed on my lips as I counted along with the ref's count. Edge had his hand raised in victory, but quickly went down to ringside to check on his fallen lover._

_"You ready to go?"_

_I turned around and smiled at the guard. Sparing one last look at the screen, where Hawkins and Ryder were helping Edge get Vickie back in her wheelchair, I followed the man through the curtain. Instead of taking the same path Chris had dragged me through, we took a sharp right turn and headed toward another black curtain. I looked at the man in confusion._

_"Right up those stairs, Ms. Shepherd," he said with a smile, reaching out to hand me a backstage lanyard. He pushed the curtain to the side and I saw a familiar set of steel steps. I knew from my time as a Diva that the stairs would lead me to the area near the Gorilla position. "Have a nice night."_

_"Thank you so much," I replied, waving to the man before hastily making my way up the stairs._

_I looked around and saw Vince sitting at a table with a headset on. A few of the writers and bookers surrounded him and I knew that he was busy speaking to his commentators. I saw Maria, Ashley, and Santino standing off to the side, going over a packet of paper in their hands. I figured that they must have been up next. I didn't have time to speculate anymore as the main curtain was pushed back and a congregation of forms made their way into the area. My eyes were immediately drawn to the blond in the middle._

_After my long day and all of the trouble I had of actually getting inside, just being able to see him up close and personal made it all melt away. Sure, I still wanted to throttle John, but I could let those feelings subside for the near future. I continued to watch as the gaggle of Edge supporters discussed a few things with some backstage executives. I figured that they were waiting for Rey, as it was customary for opponents to shake hands backstage after a match... especially when everything went as well as their match had. I continued to hang off to the side and in the shadows, content to just watch from a far. I didn't want to disrupt established traditions, and smiled at the feeling of contentment of being backstage once again._

_"Hey - you're blocking my way."_

_I would know that grumble of a voice anywhere. I walked a step forward and allowed the WWE Champion to pass. He mumbled a gruff 'thanks', glancing briefly at me and continuing to walk away... until he was able to process whom was actually there. He turned around, smirk plastered to his lips per usual. He was clad in his ring attire with the championship glistening on his shoulder._

_"Better late than never I guess," he mumbled, pulling me to him in a quick embrace. "You get lost in your own city?"_

_"Very funny," I said with a grin as I leaned up to place a chaste kiss on his cheek. "I had an emergency at work. I got here just in time for Adam's match."_

_"And now you get to watch me kick Hardy's ass," he replied with a chuckle, while my mood turned serious at the mention of my friend's name._

_"Don't be too..."_

_I was about to ask Randy to watch out for Jeff and take it a little easier on the high flyer. However, I remembered my conversation with my best friend from the day before and knew that he didn't want me to interfere. He also didn't want anything but Randy's best. I had to respect that._

_"Don't what?" Randy asked curiously._

_"Don't get hurt out there," I mumbled, reaching over to push the belt further on his shoulder._

_"Thanks mom," he replied sardonically, before looking over his shoulder. "Adam know you're here?"_

_"Not yet," I said truthfully, peering around his large frame to see my boyfriend speaking with his smaller in-ring rival. We both returned our gazes to each other as I shrugged. "I didn't want to interrupt."_

_He opened his mouth to retort, but was quickly halted by another voice._

_"Randy, good luck out there tonight. You never know the crowd may actually be one your side. They were for Adam."_

_"Thanks, and I think some introductions are in order," Randy posed as he stepped to the side and allowed the woman to stand in front of me. "Nam - this is Edge's girlfriend, Vickie Guerrero. Vickie - this is Adam's girlfriend, Nami Shepherd."_

_Vickie Guerrero didn't seem as shrewish as the woman she portrayed on screen. Yet it was still weird being face to face with the woman I watched my boyfriend act all lovey-dovey with week in and week out. The two of us smiled at each other, and awkwardly extended the same hand toward each other. I noticed that it was chiefly my mistake as she was carrying Adam's belt in her other hand. We chuckled and both switched hands, once again making it impossible to complete a handshake. Randy rolled his eyes and nudged the two of us into a friendly embrace._

_"Whoa, it's like reality and fiction coming together."_

_We both pulled back and made room for the new speaker, as the Intercontinental champion made his way up the steps. I smiled and quickly accepted the embrace from my best friend. Unlike Randy, Jeff had his championship strapped around his waist and the metal felt cool against my thin silk shirt beneath of my open coat and blazer. His shoulder length blonde hair was soaking wet and dribbled on both of our shoulders. He was dressed all in black, which contrasted greatly with the stark white of his signature armbands. He pulled back and looked at me with a grin on his face, opening his mouth to speak._

_"Hardy! Orton! Get your asses over here!"_

_The voice of Vince McMahon pierced through the small area and Jeff quickly loosened the hold he had on my waist. Both men sheepishly looked at the two of us women before turning to head and speak with their boss. Before Jeff left, he placed a kiss to my cheek, being mindful of the fact that Adam was standing only a few yards away. He waved to Vickie and caught up with Randy in front of the seated owner of the company. _

_I turned back to Vickie and an uneasy calm fell between us. She motioned her head to the side and I noticed that Adam was finally making his way over, but had yet to notice my presence. She handed me his belt and waved before heading down the stairs. I turned around and watched her leave, unsure if it was something I did or the fact that she didn't want to intrude on a private moment between Adam and myself._

_"Hey Vick, do you have..."_

_Adam's statement died in his throat as I turned around. His green eyes widened slightly in surprise, but quickly were gleaming with happiness. I smiled and hastily closed the small distance to fall into a sweaty embrace. His arms wrapped around me and lifted me slightly off of my feet. When I felt the ground once again, he swooped down and captured my lips in his own. _

_Finally! _

_After all I had been through to be in his arms, I melted into his kiss. Adam's hands found their way under my open coat. He tried to find some skin, but my silk dress shirt was still tucked in. I could feel and hear him groan in frustration through our linked mouths. I chuckled and pulled back, realizing that the entrance to the Gorilla position wasn't the best place to have this type of encounter. I raised the belt in my hand, and placed it on his shoulder._

_"Back where it belongs," I murmured, lightly tracing the nameplate inscribed 'Edge'._

_Adam used his other arm to halt my finger, grasping my hand in his. He pulled me flush against him form once more, leaning down to place a light kiss to my lips. He rested his forehead on my own and smiled. _

_"So are you."_

* * *

Thursday July 17, 2008  
9:17 PM - The Irvine Household in Tampa, FL

"Ash: please stop bouncing on the mattress. It's time for bed."

"But I'm not tired!"

"I realize that, but..."

"Mimi... read story?"

I turned around and found both of Chris's adorable twin girls leaning against the doorway into Ash's bedroom. I sighed as I had thought that I had successfully gotten them to sleep not more than twenty minutes ago. It was quite difficult because it was their birthday tomorrow and they were just too excited to sleep. Their four year old brother was no help as he kept winding them up with talk of balloons, cake, and of course presents. Ash continued to bounce gently on his mattress as I tried to figure out how to solve this babysitting dilemma. Yet how was I supposed to solve this when I couldn't even work out my own personal problems?

The past few days had been anything but the conjoined bliss I thought Adam and I would share during my first week in Florida. Our first night as housemates was spent separately. Actually, I wasn't even sure if he came home. The last I saw of him on Wednesday was his jeep speeding off down the road. I spent the whole day lost in my own thoughts about my situation and kept coming back to the fact that I wanted this to work. I tried to call him numerous times, but only ever reached his voicemail.

When Adam did finally come home, I was asleep. I asked him in the morning when he got in, but received no reply. He had to be on the road again in two days and we had wasted one with our fighting. It seemed as if this was how he wanted to spend what precious time that we did have together. I tried throughout breakfast to get him to talk, but he remained stoic and silent, reading a magazine and hardly recognizing my presence. I finally gave up and decided that when he wanted to act like a mature adult, I would be there to listen. He had yet to speak to me even when I told him I was leaving to babysit at the Irvine household for the night.

I had promised Chris weeks ago - when I was just at the time planning on visiting Adam in Florida - that I would watch his children the night before the twins' birthday. Chris and Jessica wanted to have a nice night out before their respective families arrived for the party on Friday. Chris had to be back on the road on Saturday and didn't have much time to spend with his wife. I was happy for any help I could be, especially after all he had done for me the past year.

"Mimi?"

I looked down at the two girls, shaking my own personal problems from my mind. I smiled at the nickname Chris's children had bestowed upon me. A few members of my own family called me by that name, but Sierra and Cheyenne's version was so much cuter. They stumbled upon the name when Chris introduced us. They had a hard time saying 'Nami' and thus it came out as 'Mimi'. Now, even Ash, adopted it as my name.

"Okay, I'll read you one more story, but then you all need to get some sleep," I said calmly, even though I knew their two year old brains could not fully understand everything I said. I turned to their older brother and motioned my head to the doorway. "Let's go read your sisters a story."

He quickly bounded off of the bed and led his two sisters out of his room. I sighed and followed the three children a little bit down the hallway until we reached the twins' own room. I absolutely adored the Irvine children, but I didn't feel comfortable in my babysitting skills. Being an only child, I never had any experience with younger siblings and was never comfortable watching other people's children.

After spending time with the Irvine family, I didn't mind watching the trio of blondes on occasion. Yet this was the first time I had watched them for so long. Chris and Jessica left at three in the afternoon and it was now after nine. I was in charge of getting them fed, washed up, and put to bed... three things I had never done before with any child. I told Chris of my reservations, but he just told me I would be a natural and that my motherly instincts would come out. When I mentioned that I was only twenty-five and didn't have any _motherly instincts_, he just laughed and said I would be fine.

Oh how wrong he was...

Dinner was a mess. I had made a simple dinner of chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes at Adam's (well, I guess now it was also technically my own) house. I knew that I would have little time to cook a meal with three children running around. After finally getting the twins to sit in their respective feeding chairs without wailing, I still had to pry Ash away from his Nintendo Wii. Once we were all seated, I spent the entire dinner cutting up chicken pieces for the twins while trying to dodge flying potatoes. By the time the dinner was over, I think there was more food on me than in their stomachs.

I cleaned the three of them up before turning the washcloth on myself. There wasn't much I could do about my clothes, so I just washed my face and wiped down my hair. Besides, I couldn't exactly leave the children alone. I changed them into pajamas and had my first foray into the world of diaper changing. Once again, if my natural woman instincts were supposed to guide me, I mustn't have any because I was lost. Ash had to help me... a four year old seemed to be a better mother than I.

The next few hours were spent with me trying to play with the children, but also calm them down enough where they would be able to fall asleep. That plan worked just about as well as dinner. It wasn't very relaxing chasing the three children as they decided it would be fun to play tag around the house. By the time I caught up with one and got them situated, they would run in the opposite direction. They had so much energy... I didn't know how Jessica did it every day.

I thought that bedtime would be the easiest part of the night, seeing as they had spent the better part of two hours trampling across the whole house. Yet no one was tired. After three bedtime stories, the twins finally seemed ready to fall asleep. Ash was another story. The four year old had way too much energy still and reminded me a lot of his father. Which brought me to my current situation of trying to get the twins back to bed - the one task of the night that I thought I had done right.

Sierra quickly went over to a small bookcase and pulled out the leather-bound Disney book I had read from earlier in the night. I took the book from her hand as Ash helped both of his sisters into their respective beds. He came over and sat on the floor between the two beds, patting a spot on the carpet next to him. Déjà vu from thirty minutes ago...

"Any requests?" I said, as I sat down crossed-legged on the carpeting. I looked between the two girls and saw that they really didn't understand my question. I held the book up to them and pointed. "Which story?"

"Ariel!" the two girls exclaimed in unison, drawing a groan from the boy next to me.

"But Mimi read that one already!" Ash exclaimed, causing the girls to pout. Before any real trouble could brew, I intervened.

"Maybe I could tell you a story of another little mermaid," I said, setting the book to my side. The girls smiled and Ash seemed satisfied that he wouldn't be hearing the same story again.

So I spent the better part of ten minutes trying to recall Hans Christian Andersen's original version of the tale. I skimmed over some of the more gruesome details about the pain suffered by the heroine, but tried to stay true to the tale as not to disappoint with a story too similar to the Disney adaptation. I knew that the two girls would not remember much of it by morning anyway. By the time I got to the mermaid's time on land, both Sierra and Cheyenne were asleep.

"... drinks the potion and goes to meet her prince," I finished, happy that I didn't have to end the tale.

I turned to the little boy next to me and motioned my head silently to the doorway. He nodded and we both stood. I replaced the unused book in the bookcase. I looked between the two girls, confident that this time they would stay asleep and followed their older brother out of the room.

"The story sounded the same," Ash said as we entered his room. "You said it was different."

"It ends differently," I said, watching as the boy climbed into bed.

"How does it end?" he asked earnestly.

"Maybe some other night," I said, sitting on the edge of his bed. He puffed out his lower lip in a pout. Yes - this was _definitely _Chris's son. I sighed, knowing that there was little I could do to resist his face. "The little mermaid and prince meet, but the prince is already in love with another princess. The prince and princess are married which breaks the mermaid's heart. The only way she is allowed to return to the sea is if she..."

I was unsure if I should continue. I had kept many details out of the story, but I could not get around the fact that the mermaid tries to kill the prince. I looked at the boy as he patiently waited for me to continue. As I tried to mull over what choice to make, I couldn't shake the feeling that I would never be ready for this. I couldn't even tell the children an age appropriate story, which was my easiest task of the night. How would I ever care for a child of my own?

"The only way that she can return to the sea is if she kills the prince with an enchanted sword."

My eyes widened as both myself and Ash turned to the figure in the open doorway. He entered the room and sat next to me on the bed, ruffling the young boy's hair on the pillow before continuing with the story. As he speaks, he uses his hands to make gestures and both of us are left captivated.

"The mermaid goes to the prince while he is sleeping, raises the sword over her head, but can't do it. She loves him too much to hurt him. When morning comes, she jumps into the ocean and becomes foam on the sea like the sea witch promised. But the warmth of the sun turns the foam into an air spirit and she exists forever around us."

I watched him the whole time he finished telling Ash the story. Parenting seemed to come easy to him, and I didn't know why that surprised me so much. When he finished, he pulled the sheet over the young boy and rose from the bed. He reached down and grasped my hand in his, pulling me up off the mattress.

"I like that story better than the one in the book," Ash said with a yawn, before rolling on his side. "Night Mimi; Night Adam."

After saying our good nights, Adam and I left the room silently and headed into the main living room of the house. Adam sat down on the sofa, pulling me down next to him. I didn't know what to say to him as he was giving me the silent treatment not eight hours ago. I didn't know what he was even doing here. He reached out and twirled a piece of mashed potato coated hair around his finger.

"Rough night?" he asked with a grin.

I nodded, looking down at my hands in my lap. I didn't understand what he was doing here. I knew that he had a key to Chris's house in case of emergencies. Even though the babysitting wasn't going swimmingly, I would hardly call it an emergency. And did Adam really think that this would be the best place to talk through things? I had three little ones in my care (even if they were hopefully sleeping) and couldn't dredge up personal drama at the moment.

"Sorry about me cutting in on your story," Adam murmured, letting his hand fall from my hair to grasp one of my own. "But I could see you debating if you actually wanted to finish it."

I looked up into his gaze. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to speak. _So much for the silent treatment. _Even though I didn't want to get to drama-heavy, did I really want our first conversation after nearly two days of no communication to be about a fairy tale.

"I'm guessing you just didn't know if you should include the violence is the story," Adam posed, as if he could read my mind. I wasn't all that surprised, as there was only one other person who knew me better. I just nodded again, breaking my gaze from his glittering green eyes. "Beautiful, it is just a story. Ash can handle it. He's almost five and sees worse in those video games him and Chris play. Besides, my mother told me that story when I was his age and look how I turned out."

I nodded at his lighthearted explanation, but didn't respond. Silence fell between us once again. I looked around the room and concentrated on anything besides the man sitting next to me. My eyes fell on a family portrait of the Irvine household. They all looked so happy. Chris and Jessica looked so in love and they absolutely adored their children. Unconditional love... I wasn't sure if it was something I could ever find in a man besides my own father. But I hoped I already had.

"So you're giving me the silent treatment, now?"

I turned back to my fiancé and shrugged. He grinned and used our still entwined hands to pull me on top of him. I gasped in surprise but quickly settled in, straddling his lap and being forced to stare into his stunning irises. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine, our lips only a few inches from each other. Being like this, it was hard to be mad at him.

"I guess I deserve it, don't I?" he whispered, his lips leaning a little closer to my own. "For the record, I don't think either of needs to really apologize for anything."

I leaned back from him and furrowed my brow. Was he serious? I knew that I needed to apologize to him for blowing things way out of proportion. It seemed like anytime I was scared of losing an argument, I would throw me leaving in his face. It was childish of me to do, but this was my first _real_ relationship. This was the first time I was really in love and didn't know how to handle all of its up and downs at times. Adam, on the other hand, had been in this situation before. He was a veteran in the field of love and shouldn't be dealing with the insecurities that a twenty-five year old woman had. Yet I figured that he had yet to find out how to make a relationship work either. If he had, I wouldn't be where I am now.

"I think that we need to just understand that even though this relationship is changing, we still have things we need to work through... together," he continued, as I leaned back down 'til our heads touched once more. He smiled and I had to fight to keep one from my lips. "We just have to learn to trust in each other more."

_Oh, is that all_ - I wanted to respond. Instead, I just rolled my eyes causing a chuckle from the man below me. He reached up and tangled his fingers in my already messy hair. I closed my eyes at the feeling, as I felt the tension from the past few days dissipate from my body.

"You're so damn cute," he whispered as I felt his lips getting closer to mine once more. "I think I know how to get you to talk."

Before I could even fathom a guess, he pushed me to the side and into a lying position on the sofa. I was about to speak up and declare my misgivings about this, but he was quickly straddling my form. He leaned down and nipped my ear with his teeth, tugging on the lobe gently. He then moved his lips to the shell of my ear, his warm breath making my whole body feel aflame.

"She don't say a word and she won't say a word until you kiss the girl," he slightly sang, slightly whispered in my ear.

I was surprised to say the least, but didn't get a chance to vocalize it. Adam moved his lips to mine and quickly devoured all he encountered. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him even closer to me. Our kiss was anything but fairytale-like. Hands roaming, tongues dueling, hurried gasps for air. If the mermaid from the tale got her voice back after a kiss like this, I doubted she would even want to talk. She would have wanted to continue using her mouth for another, more pleasurable action. Adam and I were so lost in our passion that we didn't hear the two newcomers enter the room until one spoke up.

"Eh, Jess - remind me to hire a chaperone for the babysitter next time?"

* * *

**To be continued in Part II... please review! :-) **


	7. Never Give Up: Part II

A.N. - Normal Disclaimer - I do not own WWE and its associated Superstars. To every one who has read, added, and reviewed, **thank you!** Most love goes to my wonderful reviewers - **I'll miss you Edge**, **moxxie23,** **caleb's babe**, **DanaO1230**, **Kris21xX**, **captainbartholomew**, and **mybrowneyedgirl**. My timely updates the past few weeks are because of you. To slightly alter a line from PBS, **this story was made possible by contributions from reviewers like you.** Without you, I don't think I would have the drive to continue since both Edge and Jeff are no longer actively competing. Thank you all and let the drama begin... **All the Best!**

* * *

_Sunday January 27, 2008  
9:28 PM - Madison Square Garden_

"Orton's head just snapped off the security wall. Look at Orton's neck!"

_I grimaced as I listened to JR call the action for the WWE Championship match. I was just now remembering how nerve-wracking it could be, sitting backstage and watching people you care about beat each other senseless. Watching Adam's match near ringside earlier was not as bad as this, for there was no shifting camera close-ups and constant commentary on the action._

_After a slow start, the match had started to swing in the Legend Killer's favor, but a moment of arrogant taunting allowed the high flyer to seize control and send Orton into the security wall. A dropkick sent his head crashing into the padding, landing awkwardly on the floor. I fidgeted in my seat and silently prayed for Randy to get up. Sometimes, they all sold their moves so well it was hard to tell fact from fiction._

_"Hey beautiful, can you hand me my shirt?"_

_Jeff jumped over the top rope and landed a crossbody on the staggered WWE champion. I thought over the conversation I had had with Jeff. He would never learn. This was what made him loved by fans, but also what broke his body. I shook my head as he grimaced and rolled quickly into the ring. He raised the "Version One" sign to the crowd, as it was Orton who had taken Matt out for the pay-per-view. Well, in the storyline anyway, as many knew the real reason was the elder Hardy's ongoing recovery from an appendectomy. The ref continued to count, but the champ didn't care. He went over to the timekeeper and grabbed his belt, ready to leave and quit the match. Jeff was quick to roll out of the ring and stop him in his tracks._

_"Nam?"_

"An amazing counter by Randy Orton! Jeff Hardy left his feet to take a chance. The high-risk offense of Jeff Hardy just crashed and burned on that exchange."

_I couldn't agree with JR more. Even though it was nowhere near as death-defying as some of his more famous accolades, Jeff made even mundane things look dangerous. He was trying to re-enter the ring by splashing on a prone Legend Killer. Yet Orton recovered and dropkicked him as he was in midair. Jeff tumbled down to the floor at ringside. Nothing was ever as simple as punches and kicks with him. Everything was through the air, and I knew he wouldn't be able to go on forever._

_"Nami?"_

_Orton pulled Jeff back in the ring and was quickly working him over. He even mimicked wiping his hands clean, as if to say Jeff was no match for him. He blatantly choked Jeff in front of the referee, not caring if he got disqualified. Jeff tried and succeeded in fighting back, after another moment of unneeded taunting to the crowd from the champion. He was such an obnoxious jerk in the ring, but unlike Adam, it never fully turned off. I smiled as Jeff threw Randy out of the ring, once again regaining control of the match._

"Boy, you can see it in Jeff Hardy's eyes. No sooner does Randy Orton hit the floor and Jeff Hardy starts to climb the ropes."

_I nodded my head with Jerry "The King" Lawler's comment. Once again, Jeff was going to the air for his offense - a leaping clothesline onto Orton that sent them both to the floor. I still wasn't a huge wrestling fan, even though it was a huge part of my life. My time in the company made me respect the business, and those who spent their life entertaining millions of people by putting their bodies through tremendous abuse. But I still wasn't a huge actual fan of the sport... or 'sports-entertainment'. I didn't mind watching like I had before my whole adventure into this world started, but it wasn't something that had become one of my passions in life. If it was, I would have accepted Vince's offer to write journalistically for the company. It would have meant a lot more time with my friends, but I would never be passionate about my work. And if I wasn't happy at work, I wouldn't have wanted that to affect my relationships with some of the company's top stars._

_"NAMI?"_

_I jumped in shock and turned to face my slightly perturbed, shirtless, and dripping wet boyfriend. I melted into his gaze, but saw that he was not responding in kind, still aggravated at something. I smiled sheepishly at him, hoping that I hadn't ignored him._

_"Did you say something?" I asked tenderly, causing him to shake his head in frustration, droplets of water flying through the air._

_"My shirt?" he asked, pointing to a gray thermal lying nearby my seated form. I chuckled lightly and turned to grab his shirt._

"Oh! And there's some physical abuse right there. And the steel ring post: very unforgiving..."

_My attention turned back to the screen as Jeff hit the ring post when Orton moved out of the way. He fell outside of the ring, but just on the apron and not to the floor below. I grimaced as the champion pulled him back in the ring and into a submission hold. At least Jeff was at rest and grounded. The announcers saw that as a problem. I was happy that at least his body wasn't taking more abuse. As JR explained that Jeff needed to get back to the high-risk offense, I shook my head in dissent. I knew that Jeff was pushing himself and didn't want to see him break firsthand. _

_"Orton wins, Jeff loses; can I have my shirt now?"_

_I had totally forgotten about Adam. I silently cursed myself and threw the garment I had reached for to my standing boyfriend. I still had yet to take my eyes from the screen however, as my best friend had countered the champ's submission hold. He pushed Orton into the ring post to stagger his opponent. Then he ran to the ring post on the other side of the ring, jumped up to the top rope, and executed a manic Whisper in the Wind on the still staggering Orton. He quickly rolled the champion into a pin, but Orton kicked out just as the second slap of the ref's hand hit the mat._

_"Beautiful, I think I outgrew this when I was ten years old."_

_Turning from Jeff's frustrated face on the monitor, I was greeted with a similar expression but that from my boyfriend. He held up the shirt I had tossed him and I quickly noticed my error. We were in the main roster's locker room for the night. We were the only two present as all of the Rumble participants were in the commissary getting last minute instructions. Yet when I reached over blindly to grab for his shirt, I grabbed the one lying on Dylan's - known to the WWE Universe as Hornswoggle - suitcase instead. I looked over and retrieved the right shirt. I got up from my seat and walked over to the entranceway of the locker room's showers. I handed him the shirt and leaned up to kiss him lightly on his lips._

_"I'm sorry," I murmured, our lips only millimeters apart. _

_I felt his lips lift into a smile before he leaned in and captured mine once more. He pulled me flush against his still damp frame. I reached up and wound my fingers through his wet blond locks, while parting my lips to grant him access. He groaned and took the invitation, his tongue invading my mouth and quickly dominating my own into submission. He wrapped his arms around my torso, slipping a hand up the front of my now untucked silk shirt. He lightly caressed my stomach, slowly moving his hand higher._

"And now it's swung back to Hardy's favor... and to Hardy's corner! Jeff Hardy going for a chance - high-risk - what are we going to see here?"

_I unceremoniously broke the kiss and turned to look at the monitor. JR's voice had become too boisterous for me not to be worried. I heard Adam mumble a few choice words before letting go of the hold he had on me completely. He slid his hand out of the silk confines of my shirt and shuffled back into the shower area. I looked at his retreating form with a frown, but a loud slap of the mat caused my attention to shift once more._

_Jeff was going up to the top rope and looked out at Orton on the outside of the ring. He performed a blind moonsault on the champion on the outside. He landed awkwardly and didn't really hit Orton. I groaned, but Jeff popped right back up. He pushed Orton back in the ring and quickly set him up for a Twist of Fate. Yet just as quick as he had all the momentum, the RKO came out of nowhere. Orton quickly covered Jeff for the win. Even though I hoped my best friend would pull through with the victory (although I was told by two different people it wasn't to be), I was happy it was over and he seemed safe. He looked frustrated, as his character should, but not in too much pain._

_"Told you he was going to lose."_

_I laughed blithely at my boyfriend's comment, turning to watch as he finished up in the shower area. He now was fully clothed and had a knitted cap pulled over his damp locks. He came back into the locker area and threw his ring attire toward his luggage._

_"Randy had already told me," I replied, coming to stand right before him. I slipped my fingers through the front two belt loops on his jeans, tugging him closer. "And I am sorry for before. It's just Jeff mentioned he hasn't being feeling so hot as of late and... I'm just worried he is pushing himself too hard."_

_He looked down at me with a captivating grin on his features. He pressed his forehead to mine, our noses rubbing against each other. My hands stayed attached to his waist and he smoothed his own up my back, under my shirt. He kneaded the muscles as he passed, causing me to moan when the tension fled my body. I let my fingers slide free from the denim and brought my arms up to encircle his neck. This way, I could be pressed flush against his form._

_As soon as our bodies fully touched, our lips descended upon each other. My lips parted, responding immediately to the passion that Adam radiated. There was no tentative teasing: Adam's tongue tasted all I had to offer causing a moan to emerge from the back of my throat. I was all too willing to let his dominant nature overtake me, as his hands continued their trek across the expanse of my back. Everything melted away under his touch. Until... a loud smack shrieked through the air. Only after the sound died down did I begin to feel the sting on my backside causing my bliss to be quickly abated._

_I dropped my hands from Adam's neck and turned around to face my attacker. The stinging had yet to subside and when Adam pulled me back toward him, I grimaced causing the man in front of me's smirk to grow even wider. He swung the towel at me once more, but this time all for show as it missed me by a few inches. The WWE Championship slipped slightly off his shoulder, but he managed to keep it from hitting the floor._

_"Figured it was the only way I could separate you two," Randy muttered, smirk still firmly in place. _

_"You could have just asked," I murmured, still waiting for the stinging sensation to diminish. _

_"That was my way of asking," he replied with a shrug, as he walked over to his locker cubby for the night. He let the title fall onto his luggage and sat down on the bench to start taking off his black wrist tape. "Did you even see the match or was your tongue too far down Adam's throat to pay attention?"_

_"Very funny," I muttered, turning away from the seated WWE champion and back to my slightly amused boyfriend. "Why do you look so pleased ? I'm hurt."_

_My over exaggerated pout just caused both men to laugh to themselves. I pushed the blond to the side and went to sit down in front of the monitor once more, forgetting briefly about my current predicament. As soon as my skirt-clad ass hit wood, I shrieked and jumped up. I looked over at the still smug Legend Killer and grimaced. First John and now Randy... I felt like I was in high school all over again with their shenanigans._

_"Why don't you ask your boyfriend to rub some cream on it?" Randy asked, kicking his boots off and standing, clad only in his small trunks. "Or better yet - I'll do it. I'll repay you for your services in England."_

_"Do you have to practice being a jackass or does it just come naturally?" I asked mockingly, as Adam looked curious about his friend's last statement._

_I didn't get my answer verbally. Randy continued his behavior when he hastily reached down and pushed his trunks to the floor. I quickly spun around and cursed him, as the sounds of both his and my boyfriend's laughter filled my ears. It seemed as if he had forgotten about Randy's comment, referencing the time I helped him put cream on his tattooed back. Totally different circumstance, but of course, Randy would use it to his advantage. I tried to keep my blushing to a minimum, but it was hard to do. It also reminded me of my little rendezvous with the Legend Killer in Europe when I was still in hiding. I felt the same embarrassment wash over me, yet it was heightened by the presence of my boyfriend. I pushed my feelings to the side, reached for my purse, and turned around, still shielding my eyes from any unwanted view._

_"When you two feel like acting like mature adults, you can find me in the commissary," I vented, reaching for the door handle and pulling the door open._

_"Eh Adam, is she this afraid of your dic..."_

_I didn't hear anymore of Randy's lewd comment as I slammed the door in frustration. I loved Randy... I truly did, but sometimes, his sophomoric humor grated on my nerves. I had had enough of it tonight already from his best friend. I waited a few moments to see if Adam would follow, but there was no movement from beyond the closed door. I sighed and started walking toward the intersection, knowing that the directional room listing was posted there. I stopped and observed the paper trying to find the arrow to lead me to my destination._

_"Where's your blond shadow?"_

_I chuckled, shaking my head before turning to face Chris. He was leaning against the wall further down the hallway._

_"Enjoying the immature ramblings of Randy Orton probably," I answered with a shrug, as I walked closer to him. He furrowed his brow in confusion, but I just waved him off. "Don't ask, please. I think I lost a few brain cells just being around them."_

_"That can happen," he replied cheekily._

_Chris had showered and changed since the last time I had seen him. Thus he pulled me to him for a real embrace, not having to watch out for blood stains. I pulled back and chuckled at the small bandage strewn across his forehead. It looked so out of place on the muscular man in front of me. Form-fitting jeans, tight and slightly unbuttoned dress shirt, and a little white bandage. He saw where my gaze fell and shoved me slightly._

_"Rumble's about to start!"_

_Chris and I turned toward the emanation of the voice. He motioned his head and I followed him into the room. Smiling, I took in the sights and sounds of a pretty much filled commissary. All of the Superstars that were in the Rumble were staring at the screen as Shawn Michaels made his way into the ring. The camera panned back and showed the Undertaker already in the ring, watching the Sexy Boy go through his opening mannerisms. The waiting wrestlers seemed to be sitting in some semblance of an order and I watched a few bookers whom I remembered from my time in the company explaining a few things to a few departing members. Santino... Khali..._

_"MEEMZ!"_

_Before I could even react, I felt two arms wrap around my form and swing me about. I chuckled and hugged the blond, bandanna wearing North Carolinian. I hadn't seen Shannon since... since I left the company last April. It was hard to believe, but seeing him and all his spunkiness, it didn't feel like we lost a day. I looked around and found a few dozen pairs of eyes on me, and timidly waved. Just like Shannon, I hadn't seen any of my former co-workers since April... since my book's release. Adam told me that there was nothing to worry about, that any ill feelings had all but subsided. I was put at ease, but that was when I thought I would be embarking on this with him by my side._

_"Fuck, it's good to have you back," Shannon rambled, pulling me away from my other blond friend and toward his table. I looked at Chris with a shrug and was happy to notice that most of the attention of the crowd switched back to the screen. I wasn't close with many of the wrestlers besides my friends, thus the small nods and waves I got was enough to satisfy as a welcome. "Jeffro was wondering if you were going to show or be locked up with Copeland the whole night."_

_We stopped in front of a table with two occupants. I smiled as Jeff blew me kiss before I turned my attention to the other man. I didn't know Jimmy Yun very well as he was on the Smackdown brand during my time as a Diva. From what Jeff told me, he was a great guy as well as talented wrestler. He had been teaming with Shannon the past few months and thus was quickly accepted in the circle of friends. They even had supposedly wrestled a tag team dark match before the show went live, but I was too busy actually trying to get to the arena to be able to see it. Since we were around close mutual friends, I just waved and skipped a real introduction. _

_Jeff kicked out a seat next to him that I was happy to occupy. Yet as soon as I put weight on the chair, I remembered my slight discomfort. The few minutes of walking and standing had relieved a lot of the sting, but the pain was still there. I grimaced and it didn't go unnoticed by the Intercontinental champion. He sent me a curious grin and I just shook my head._

_"Don't ask," I replied with a short chuckle. Jeff shrugged and turned his attention back to the screen._

_The countdown had begun and a new Superstar was getting ready to join the two beloved veterans in the ring. The crowd counted down as the clock ticked lower and lower. Neither Undertaker or Shawn paid any real heed as Santino's music blared through the speakers. When he entered the ring, both men stared down the comical Italian, but he was quickly taken down with Sweet Chin Music. Shawn backed up and allowed the Undertaker to pick Santino up and throw him over the ropes. But with Taker's back turned, Shawn tried to capitalize and send him over the ropes as well. It didn't work and the two certified Hall of Famers were back to brawling once more. _

_"Not that I care all that much, but shouldn't a certain Canadian be with you?" Shannon asked cheerily, breaking me away from the action on the large screen._

_"I am."_

_All of the table's occupants chuckled as Chris pulled out the empty chair next to me and sat down at the table. He tossed me a water bottle with a wink before turning to watch the screen. I looked from him to my friend on my other side. Jeff was still dressed in his ring attire, but I figured he didn't want to miss the main event. He must've felt my gaze because he turned away from the screen to stare into my eyes._

_"You looked great out there," I murmured to him, earning a smile._

_"You saw it?" he asked and I quickly nodded. We both spared a glance at the screen as the fourth entrant - The Great Khali - made his way to the ring, but abruptly resumed our hushed conversation._

_"Of course," I replied. "And I was only squeamish a half of dozen times. Considering it was one of your matches, that is pretty good. Probably a record for me."_

_"I feel fine, darlin'," he soothed, reaching over and taking my hand in his. "Just the normal bumps and brusies... nothing new."_

_"Still..." I started as the countdown started once more. I looked over and noticed that Khali had already been eliminated. As Hardcore Holly came to the ring, I turned back to my friend to continue, knowing that my feelings about his health and safety were genuine and not relenting. "It doesn't hurt to pace yourself."_

_He just laughed and turned back to the screen. It didn't seem like he was all too worried. He seemed much more nervous about it the day before, and I figured that the match must have went better than expected. I looked to the screen and a calm fell over our group as we watched the madness that could only happen during a Royal Rumble. The ring became more and more crowded as less and less Superstars were eliminated. It took the eighth entrant to come in and eliminate the next person, when Batista was able to send Tommy Dreamer over the top rope._

_Watching the match, I remembered my Rumble experience the year prior. I didn't have much to do at the pay-per-view, as I was only acting as a valet for the Hardys tag match. Yet the show was memorable for my special guest - my "brother" Jason. It was as I was reminiscing that I had to laugh at the fact that both of my experiences at this event had one thing in common: an in-disguise wrestler sneaking into the arena. I figured that this year's surprise would be a much bigger and widely known event. _

_"Okay, the ring is just too damn crowed," Shannon vented, as there were eight active participants in the ring... well, nine if you counted Hornswoggle who was still hiding out underneath. _

_The clock was counting down and the sixteenth entrant was announced: The Miz. I had to smile as the commentators talked about one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions. He had come a long way - from Diva Search host to Tag Team Champion. I was happy for the former reality TV star and could see that he was definitely working on his craft. I hardly knew him from the contest, but he had always been nice to all of the contestants. He realized just how hard it was to win over people in the company firsthand. _

_With his addition to the ring, the number of Superstars didn't dwindle. It quickly shot up to eleven when two legends - Jimmy "Super Fly" Snuka and Rowdy Roddy Piper - joined the fray. All of the action in the ring stalled as the two Hall of Famers went at it. Nostalgia was running wild as the members of my table started talking about wrestling's yesteryear. Yet the trip down memory lane was squashed when the twentieth entrant Kane entered the ring and quickly eliminated the two legends. _

_"Oh come on! Why couldn't he have gone after Cody or Miz?" Chris exclaimed, when they were sent packing, causing laughter to spring up amongst the group. _

_When Mick Foley joined the fray as entrant twenty-two, the amount of wrestlers in the ring was up to twelve. It was so crowded I didn't know how they could even work. The camera panned back and it was hard to take it all in. Conversation started up once again, about who would be the eventual victor of the match. I listened to all of the arguments, but knew who I was picking... even if no one else knew that he was even in the building._

_"So, what did we miss?"_

_Our conversation was halted when the former tag team members of Rated RKO decided to grace us with their presence. I shot a spiteful glare to the now fully-clothed Legend Killer before turning back to the screen. Mr. Kennedy was making his entrance bringing the total to thirteen wrestlers in the ring at once. I concentrated on the action in front of me, even when I felt one blond Canadian being replaced with another at my side._

_"How's your ass feeling?" Randy mumbled to me, as he tousled my hair before taking a seat next to Jeff._

_Luckily, no one heard his remark except for my boyfriend and best friend. Jeff shot me an inquisitive grin while Adam threw my empty water bottle at the still smirking WWE Champion. I needed to think of a way to get Randy back or I would never live it down._

_"I'm sorry about before," Adam whispered, pulling my chair closer to his. He leaned over and let his lips rest just outside the shell of my ear. "So is Randy, he just has a weird way of showing it."_

_As the Undertaker and Shawn Michaels were subsequently eliminated, a clamor arose in the room. Many of the eliminated wrestlers had come back into the area to finish watching the event. It seemed like many had picked the two veterans as potential winners. I had to hide a smile... oh, if they only knew._

_I turned to look at Adam with a small smile still on my lips. I had thought of a way to get the Legend Killer back and I knew he would walk right into it. With that in mind, I had no reason to be even slightly perturbed at my Canadian boyfriend. He was just one of the guys after all. I leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, before scooting over to press myself against him. He let his chin rest on the top of my head and we both turned our attention back to the screen as Chavo Guerrero entered as the twenty-sixth entrant._

"Yeah, Chavo Guerrero, who arguably stole the ECW Championship this past Tuesday with Edge as his accomplice,"_ Joey Styles commentated, and I flicked my eyes up to my boyfriend._

_"Care to explain yourself?" I asked jokingly._

_"Nope; you should start watching the broadcasts if you want to be caught up to speed," Adam replied, causing me to elbow him in the stomach._

_"I'm sure Nam would watch if she didn't have to witness you and Vickie devour each other's faces every time you're on the screen," Chris imparted, causing agreement to shoot up from all ends of the table._

_In truth, that wasn't the main reason I hadn't seen many of the television programs. It was a reason, as it was still hard to watch the man I loved feign affection for someone else. It was easier when he talked about Vickie in the ring as I could separate 'Edge' and 'Adam'. When it was just their tongues clashing together, it got much harder to tell the blond alter egos apart. _

_The principle factor in me not watching was that I just wasn't that huge of a fan. I had vehemently detested the form of entertainment before I entered the Diva Search. My time in the company gave me a newfound respect for it, but that was all. I found it entertaining in small doses and could watch many highlight reels of my friends. Yet the every week religious watching experience never suited me. As much as I loved my friends, I didn't love their job._

_When the twenty-eighth entrant entered the ring, conversation rose up amongst the table once more. The subject was the same - who would win the Royal Rumble? After some more eliminations, there were still eleven men in the ring. Two more would be added. The table all knew that Triple H was one of the last entrants, but unsure of the other. I fought the smile from my lips and stayed calm. It was time to get even. I remembered my first few weeks in the company and how a certain Legend Killer could never say no to a bet. Just one more entrant and it would be time to prove if that was true._

_The crowd counted down as the twenty-ninth entrant was to be announced. The buzzer rang and the beginning cords of Motorhead's "The Game" caused the Madison Square Garden crowd to erupt. It also had the desired effect on my adversary._

_"And there he is ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Royal Rumble," Randy exclaimed in a frustrated tone._

_"Really?" I asked, trying my best to stay as calm as possible._

_"He's been back from injury since August and has held the title for an hour," he said in a much lower tone, referencing Triple H's interim run as champion from the October No Mercy pay-per-view. "He's getting a title run, that much is obvious. What better way than at the biggest show of the year."_

_"I think... I think the thirtieth entry is going to win," I said, not putting too much certainty in my tone. I could see that it was working when I got many confused looks sent my way._

_"Beautiful, listen to Randy on this one," Adam said, pushing me slightly to the side to look in my eyes. "No thirtieth entry had won until last year. They aren't going to do that twice."_

_"And besides, who else is there?" Randy continued as he looked at the rest of the men in the ring. "Dave just had the belt in the fall. Kane... maybe, but..."_

_"I'll bet you," I stated calmly, turning to look directly into the piercing eyes of the Legend Killer. _

_I knew I didn't have much time. He turned to me with a small smirk on his lips and I knew that I had him._

_"Don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't cash," Randy taunted, before sparing a glance at the screen. "How about fifty bucks?"_

_"Umm..." I tried my best to seem a little apprehensive, but wanted the amount to go up more. "How about... how about a hundred?"_

_"Meemz, think about what you are doing here," Shannon imparted, but I kept my eyes and full attention on my prey._

_"Sounds like you're serious about this," Randy replied with a chuckle. "How about two hundred?"_

_"Three hundred," I said, mustering up a little faux courage to tempt him even further. _

_We continued to go back and forth with increasing amounts. By the time it got to a thousand, I froze. Mission accomplished. While it wasn't that much money to someone like Randy Orton, it was enough to send a message that I was not to be taken lightly. _

_"A thousand dollars?" I asked tentatively, pretending to mull the decision in my head. He extended his hand to me with a grin. I looked to the screen as the countdown began. Triple H pedigreed Umaga into the mat and it looked like Randy's choice was definitely the favorite. The countdown got to two seconds and I accepted his hand. "Deal."_

_The buzzer sounded and the familiar opening horns of a certain West Newbury native's entrance theme sounded. My smile grew even wider as I saw all of the confidence drain from Randy's face. The whole room started to clamor about what they were witnessing on the screen, JR sounded like he was going to have a heart attack, and all of the action stopped in the ring. I kept my hand enclosed around Randy's, just watching him as his best friend entered the ring._

_"Nami wins," Jeff muttered sardonically and I had to agree._

_Randy turned to look at me and I shrugged. I let go of his hand and held it out palm up. He scoffed and turned back to the screen, mumbling that it wasn't over. Yet he knew... he knew as soon as he heard the horns that I had won. _

_"Care to explain how you were so sure about your pick?" Adam whispered into my ear. "You never are that definite about anything."_

_"Just luck, I guess," I murmured with a knowing smile. _

_"Luck my ass," he whispered as we both returned our attention to the action on the screen. I knew my secret would come out eventually so I was going to enjoy it while I could._

_It was down to just Batista, Triple H, and John. Soon, that trio became two and both Randy and I shared a glance. Both of our picks were left, but everyone knew who was coming out on top. And I for once, could say that I had outplayed the great Randy Orton... with an assist from John Cena. If he hadn't startled me earlier in the night with his police officer charade, none of this would have been possible. It was strange how things had a way of working themselves out. _

_Even though the crowd had been for John when he made his surprise return, they quickly turned on him. Whenever Triple H landed a punch, they cheered. Whenever John landed a punch, they booed. Some things never seemed to change. They were happy to see him return, but only to boo him out of the building. A failed FU and unsuccessful Pedigree led to John hoisting Triple H on his shoulders. He leaned him over the rope and with all his strength threw him to the mat below. Triple H landed face down on the black mat and John celebrated his comeback and win in the ring with the Madison Square Garden attendees actually cheering all around._

_"I believe we agreed upon a thousand dollars," I stated, holding my hand out once more to the perturbed champion._

_He grumbled under his breath and pulled his wallet from its denim confines. He opened the leather accessory and pulled all of his money from the middle slot. He put the wad of cash in my palm. I pulled back the money and did a quick count. I was surprised he had that much on hand, but figured maybe he was planning on heading out later after the show. It didn't matter... I had gotten my revenge. My final count of the bills was just a little short of the actual tab._

_"Oh, Randy dearest," I stated in the most sickening sweet tone I could muster. I looked to see his predatory eyes fixed on my own. "You're fifty dollars short."_

_Laughter arose from the members of the table and my smile grew. Chris reached over and handed a fifty dollar bill to the still stunned Legend Killer._

_"That's a loan," Chris muttered with a grin of his own, earning a scowl from the younger man. I snatched the bill away as soon as it hit Randy's palm._

_"Cena is dead when he gets here," Randy muttered, running his hands over his nearly shaved head. "He should have told me he was returning."_

_"Obviously, it was supposed to be a surprise to everyone," Adam said with a shrug. "I bet not even Dave knew until right before he went out. Explains why we were seemingly on lockdown back here."_

_"Which brings up a question I have been wanting to ask all night," Chris posed, turning his attention to me. "How were you able to get backstage without help?"_

_All eyes at the table turned to me. I sheepishly laughed and looked down at the money in my hands. I couldn't spoil it now. I tried to think of an excuse, but was luckily halted when the slightly sweaty Royal Rumble winner came barreling into the room._

_"I'm baaaaaacccckkk!"_

_Many Superstars went over to congratulate John not only on his win, but his return to active competition. My table rose as well and went over to join the fray of well-wishers. I watched the interactions among the co-workers from my seat and knew that that was what I missed most. The wrestling itself wasn't for me, but the bond between fellow competitors was inspiring. Even those who didn't get along all that well were able to put aside their feelings and have respect for each other. They were a family and represented one company with one goal: to entertain. _

_"And it seems like I am not the only one making my return tonight," John stated, as he began to walk my way. I quickly shoved the wad of bills into my purse before rising to greet my friend._

_"Congrats," I said, embracing him before pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Just don't take my boyfriend's belt away."_

_"I think I'll leave that job to the boys on the blue brand," he replied mockingly, sending Adam a small grin. "Maybe take on 'The Streak' this year?"_

_"That seems to be the plan," Adam mused with a nod._

_I had forgotten that the Wrestlemania main event match ups were normally determined a few months before the actual show. It gave Creative time to work a compelling storyline around the two combatants and make people want to spend the money to see the 'biggest show of the year.' It seemed like the Undertaker would get his revenge on Adam for costing him the title a few months prior. Even though I wasn't a fan, that would definitely be a match that I would pay for. However, I wasn't sure if people would believe that 'The Streak' of fifteen consecutive wins at Wrestlemania would be broken. _

_"Forget Wrestlemania; I want to talk about tonight," Randy imparted, pushing his way to stand in front of both me and the grinning Rumble winner. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you were coming back?"_

_"Jeez, Rand - you act as if you lost money on the match or something," John joked. When Randy's expression darkened, he realized that he was actually right in his assumption. "But nobody knew about it... except..."_

_John turned his attention back to me and I sheepishly looked at the curious glances from all of my friends. It was then that I could take in the fact that both the North Carolinian Core and my other friends were all jumbled together in one conglomerate in front of me. I had to smile seeing Jeff standing next to Chris, Adam next to Shannon. It was odd, but something just didn't feel right. _

_"Nam, is there something you would like to tell me?" Randy asked, pulling me from my internal thoughts._

_He was eyeing a few bills that were sticking out of the top of my purse. I pushed them deeper into the confines of the bag before shaking my head at the perturbed Legend Killer._

_"I plead the fifth," I murmured with a small smile, before turning my attention to the chuckling John Cena. "And I will split my winnings with you if you just..."_

_I trailed off and brought a finger to my lips in a silencing gesture. I knew that it would just pique the interest of the group again, but I had to try. I was quite certain that there was no way I was escaping this encounter without my earlier evening activity being revealed, but it didn't hurt to attempt._

_"How much you make off him?" John asked with a laugh. "A hundred bucks?"_

_"Try a thousand," Randy muttered dully before I could respond._

_John's eyes widened and he turned from me to his best friend. He patted the younger man on his shoulder before leaning in to whisper something into this ear. I saw Randy's eyes widen and come to rest on my form. An ever-growing smirk began to form on his lips. He started to laugh and I glared at John when he pulled back._

_"You are such an ass! How was I supposed to know you weren't a cop? I can't..."_

_"You were a cop?" Shannon quickly interrupted and similar exclamations arose throughout the small group. I muttered a curse under my breath as I realized that my own subconscious ranting had caused more information to leak out than I would have liked. "What did he tell you, Orton?"_

_"All John said was 'meh meh meh mareh marfalh, pretend I'm telling you a secret, marfeh meh meh," Randy explained, half of his words being a garbled mess._

_I smacked my face with my own palm, realizing that I had walked into a perfectly planned John Cena trap. Whenever I thought I was ahead of these guys, I found myself still a few steps behind. I rubbed my eyes and looked back to the group, whom were all awaiting an explanation with grins on their faces. I sighed and bowed my head to John, a gesture of surrender. He turned around to address the whole group as I slumped into my seat. Adam came over and rubbed my shoulder as John began his tale. _

_By the time the storyteller was through, the group was reduced to a cackling horde. I pushed my boyfriend away from me and continued to sulk. I looked to Jeff who just shrugged and continued to laugh. I couldn't even count on him. A few questions were shouted to the West Newbury native who was only too happy to elaborate on his tale. Having heard enough, Randy made his way over to me and leaned against the table next to my seat. He brought his arm around me and pulled my seated form against his leg, a satisfied smirk still perched on his lips._

_"So worth the money."_

* * *

Thursday July 17, 2008  
10:38 PM - Adam's Home in Florida

"Remind me to go and get my tubes tied tomorrow."

"Beautiful, it didn't go that bad."

"Does it make me any less of a woman to say I don't want kids?"

Adam quickly cut off any more of my ranting by spinning me around and devouring my lips. I groaned and wanted to pull away to continue venting my frustration, but he was much too strong. He pushed me up against the wall in the hallway leading to his room and continued his pleasure-filled assault. It was hard to believe that this was the man whom was not on speaking terms with me only a few hours prior.

After Chris and Jessica found the two of us in a compromising position on the sofa, I had quickly tried to plead my case. Neither of them were remotely upset, but I couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. Adam explained the situation to the married couple and they were just happy to play a part in our reconciliation. I didn't know if I would go that far. We said our goodnights and parted ways. It wasn't like we wouldn't be seeing each other soon as Adam and I were invited to the twins' party tomorrow.

The car ride home from the Irvine household was not the most pleasant. Adam and I tried to hash out some of our problems, but I kept getting frustrated when he seemed to be paying more attention to the Foo Fighters song on the radio than me. I decided any real conversation would best be left to the confines of his home... I meant, _our home_. It still didn't seem real.

"Adam, _please_," I mumbled out when he moved his lips down the column of my throat. "We have to talk."

"No, we don't," he muttered in between suckling on my throat. "You are just... being ridiculous about... this whole babysitting th..."

"I don't mean about that," I exclaimed, finding my strength - both physical and emotional - to push him off. "I mean about _us_."

His attempt to return to anything passionate stilled at the serious tone in which I had spoken. He sighed and nodded, realizing that we couldn't avoid our problems forever. Communication still was the primary difficulty in our relationship. I still had a lot of feelings buried inside of me that I was unsure if I wanted to dig up. I didn't know what their unearthing would cause. I also knew that Adam had never really shared with me anything about his former relationships. I didn't want to pry, but I was interested in knowing about the women he once pledged to spend his life with.

We slowly walked back down the hallway and into the sitting room. I fell into the cushioning of his overstuffed crème sofa and slowed my racing brain, trying to think of what to say first. Adam sat down and pulled me flush against him. He ran his lips lightly over the side of my face and I tried my best to stay focused on my plan of dialogue.

"You know, I think this is the first time I have sat in here in months."

I laughed at Adam's icebreaking statement and pushed away from him enough to turn and catch his gaze. He was busy surveying the lowly lit room which seemed too ornamental to be something Adam designed. The color scheme screamed him, but the actual furniture and layout... it must have been someone else. Probably the same person who designed the guest rooms with all their stuffed bears and periwinkle blues... one of his ex-wives.

"Adam..."

His whispered name was all I could get out without starting to tear up. This was not how I wanted to do this. But I knew that I had to be honest about all my feelings. I wanted to know him... the whole Adam Copeland. I wanted to know why his first marriage ended. I wanted to know what made him get married so soon after he was divorced. I wanted to know why he felt infidelity was a better option than just telling his second wife and friends the truth? I wasn't going to judge him. That was not what this was about. This was about getting to know the person behind the sunglasses and championship gold. This was about truly learning about the man I was to marry; something that I probably should have done before I put his ring on my finger.

"Nami, what's wrong?" Adam asked softly, using his hand to turn my gaze on his. "You've been acting off for awhile now... since our engagement to be exact."

"It was before then," I whispered truthfully, not wanting him to think the engagement was the catalyst for my emotional state. "I..."

I stopped speaking and just stared into his shadowed green eyes. Could I finally open up about everything? No more hiding... let it all out? I wanted to, but I also wanted to make sure that I would still have the man next to me when I was finished. Adam looked at me curiously and was about to respond. I quickly reached up and placed my fingers on his lips.

"I've wanted to talk to you for awhile," I said softly. "I mean, _really talk_ to you. I don't know if we have ever done that in our relationship."

Adam reached up and pulled my hand away from his face. He pulled me into his lap and pressed his forehead to mine. His lips hovered right above my own. I was about to lose my nerve, but knew that I couldn't hold everything in forever.

"We _have_ talked, beautiful," he whispered, his lips caressing mine with each syllable uttered. "I know everything I need to know about you. I know you are the woman I want to spend my life with."

"And how many times have you said _that_ before?" I asked, as the first few tears began to fall. I knew that it was a low blow, but I wanted him to take this seriously. He opened his mouth to respond, so I quickly continued. "And please don't just say that _I am different_. I might have believed it once, but I can't anymore."

"But you _are_," he attested, causing me to shake my head in dissent. I climbed off his lap and stood in front of him, extending my arms to gesture to the room around us.

"What is the reason you haven't sat in this room in so long, Adam?" I asked, throwing his earlier comment in his face. I was also trying to swing the conversation back to him. "Is it because you are never home or because it was never your room to begin with?"

"What?" he asked, looking at me like I had grown another head. "I don't even understand what you..."

"There is no way you designed these rooms," I continued, gesturing to the dining room a few paces away. "Either that or I definitely don't know who you are."

"I had an interior designer," he stated evenly, still in disbelief that this was the conversation we were having. "And what does..."

"Was her name Alanah by any chance?" I asked, causing Adam's eyes to widen in shock that I would bring up his ex-wife's name. "Or maybe Lisa?"

"Shut up," he mumbled under his breath, but I could make out the words. He rose from the sofa and came to stand in front of me. His eyes blazed as they looked down upon me and I knew I had struck a nerve. "That's none of your business."

"Now, that's where you are wrong," I replied, trying my best not to crumble under his heated glare. "It _is_ my business. I am to be your wife. When we were just dating, I let things slide. Now... I deserve to know about your past. "

We both stayed silent, letting our eyes do the talking. I knew he could see that I was being serious. I wasn't going to back down or be intimidated. I deserved to know... just like he deserved to know everything about my relationship with Jeff. I was willing to tell him things that I had never told a single soul - not even Jeff himself. I wanted him to see me for the woman I was, not the person he believed me to be.

"I am a thirty-five year old man who is _still _trying to _live down_ his past... one I think you know enough about," he whispered menacingly.

"And I am a twenty-five year old woman who is _trying_ to make you see that you have _nothing_ to live down." I whispered back, taking his hand in mine. "That is not what I am trying to get at. I don't want to make you angry. I just want... I want complete honesty."

_Complete honesty_... it was a principle that he had brought up during my final month as a WWE Diva. At the time, I half-heartedly agreed to the idea, knowing that there was no way I could have that with him. It _seemed_ that maybe we really started being honest with each other the night we finally reconnected; the rainy night in New York that changed my life for the better.

Yet that wasn't true... we had yet to be completely honest with each other. There were too many emotions and feelings that we kept bottled up. If I was going to survive as the wife of a WWE Superstar, I wanted there to be nothing hidden between us. When we had time to spend together, I wanted it to be just that: together. No hidden thoughts... no mixed emotions. I thought that I was finally ready to give Adam that.

"You know that works two ways," he immediately countered. I nodded my head and he looked away from my gaze, muttering something to himself. He turned back to me with a sigh. "Fine, to answer your question, a lot of this house was designed when Alanah and I were still together. I've changed some stuff, but a lot of it, I just haven't had time to touch."

"_Haven't had time_ or haven't wanted to?" I asked softly, knowing I was treading on shaky ground.

"Haven't had time," he repeated, punctuating each word harshly. "Besides, isn't it _my turn_ to ask _you_ a question?"

"I guess," I mumbled, not realizing that we were going to be trading off. I figured it was only fair, and I didn't want to hide anything from him... not anymore.

"Were you ever in love with Jeff?"

Now, it was my eyes that widened in shock. Adam was going right for the jugular. I stuttered and stopped, wondering how I would ever be able to answer the question in words. Jeff was the reason I was having so much trouble maintaining an emotional balance to begin with. It wasn't as simple as _was I ever in love with him_... it ran much deeper.

"Let me clarify, as I see you are having trouble with your own little exercise," he retorted in a slight mocking tone. I really couldn't blame him. "Was there ever a time you wanted to be with him instead of me?"

Now,_ that _I could answer...

"No," I answered, with a shake of my head. "And if I ever did anything to make you think otherwise, I am sorry."

"_If you ever did anything_?" Adam repeated in a disbelieving tone. He started to laugh and turned away from me to pace a little. He ran his fingers through his blond locks and continued to chuckle. "What do you call your whole relationship with him? He is more than just a friend to you and you..."

"I don't even know what we are!" I interrupted, turning away from Adam to stare out the darkened window.

I had finally admitted it... the central problem my mind couldn't process. My relationship with Jeff had changed greatly from the time I spent as a WWE Diva. Neither of us wanted to admit it. We just shrugged things off and continued to act as we always did. He still knew me better than anyone, and yet I could hardly read him anymore. It seemed as soon as I was taken out of the WWE atmosphere, I lost my profound connection with the high-flyer. He wouldn't talk to me about it; he just acted like everything was fine... that nothing had changed. Yet there were signs as far back as the winter that things were not the same.

"When I was in the WWE, I admit that I went about things all wrong," I said softly. I continued to stare into the windowpane, knowing that I needed to get through my emotional obstacles now_. Honesty_... we needed honesty. "And I am not talking about the whole undercover writing part of my tenure: I'm talking about _us_."

"You regret getting into a relationship with me?" Adam asked incredulously, causing me to quickly spin around to face him. It seemed even when I was trying to be forthright, I confused the people I loved.

"No, _never_. That's not what I meant," I grumbled, shaking my head in disbelief.

Adam strode over to me and took my hand in his. I looked up into his eyes and saw something I hadn't in the longest time... _understanding_. The past few months had been spent with hurried visits and stolen moments together. We never really got a chance to try and work out the problems we still had. I knew that it would be difficult, but now that I was living with him, I wanted everything to be out in the open. Even if at first he was against it, I could see that he was open to trying. Maybe all it took was for me to open up and show him that his love was the most important thing to me.

"Level with me, Nam," Adam soothed, using his free hand to brush a few locks of hair from my eyes.

"I had a constantly changing personality as a Diva," I admitted, recalling my days with a bittersweet smile. "I was trying my best to fit in, not draw attention to myself, but it was also something more. I was never comfortable with that lifestyle. I felt inadequate in every facet of the profession and I also had to deal with the fact that I knew the reason I was there was not fully kosher."

"And it ran deeper than just the profession," I confessed, moving away from him to walk further into the room. I could see he was about to interrupt, and knew that I couldn't take it. I didn't want to hide anything from him, even if he would let me. "It spilled over into my personal life. I didn't know what I was doing in the ring and I certainly didn't know what I wanted in my life. So... I latched on to two totally different ideals."

I paused. Was I really ready to confess things to Adam that I had never actually vocalized to anyone... not even _myself_? I was getting into very personal territory. Yet I knew that I had already opened up Pandora's box... I _couldn't_ stop now. And honestly, I didn't want to. I wanted Adam to understand. I wanted him to fully trust me so we wouldn't have anymore sleepless nights over things that could be easily solved with talking.

"I was being continually pulled in two directions in both my professional and personal life," I continued, catching his eyes in the glass door of an armoire. "WWE and Hachette... you and Jeff. I began to feel like two different people. My emotions ran rampant and half the time I was believing one thing, but the next..."

"For the longest time, I thought you were in love with him," Adam admitted softly, as I felt him come up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me back against him. "I think it's why I rushed things in the early days of our relationship. I wanted you, but was scared you wanted someone else more."

"Part of me probably did," I whispered, leaning my head back against his chest. "I hated having to deceive everyone and I was scared that you were falling in love with a lie. I didn't want to hurt you because I knew after a few months of us actually dating..."

A few tears slipped from my eyes once more as I thought about the beginning of our relationship. At the start , I thought he was going to be my downfall. He said he would be watching me and knew that I didn't belong. He quickly became a colleague who turned into a flirtatious friend. I didn't think much of his advances at first; I hardly knew the man and was happy to have a distraction from the hard WWE training. Yet it quickly spiraled into something more and by the time Christmas came, I knew I was falling in love with Adam Copeland.

"The whole reason I became friends with you and the others was because I wasn't scared of the repercussions," I said, backtracking on my previous open statement. "If they kicked me out of the Diva Search, I wouldn't have cared... not at the beginning anyway. I was there to get experience and a story, nothing more. But then... _you_ happened."

"You mean _we_ happened, beautiful," he replied tenderly, his voice rumbling from his chest through my back. I spun around, needing to stare in his eyes. I reached up and cupped his face in my hands.

"No, it's only you," I murmured with a smile, my hands falling back to my sides. He reached up and wiped a few stray tears from my cheek with the pad of his thumb. "It was always you and I was too stubborn to admit it."

"And Jeff?" Adam asked cautiously, getting us back to the topic at hand.

"You remember Wrestlemania? Not this year, but the one in Detroit?" I asked with a sigh. He nodded his head, but seemed confused. "Well, I think that was the moment when I really noticed my duality had surfaced in all aspects of my life. Jeff wasn't speaking with me and part of my soul felt missing. I couldn't understand my feelings, but you did. Even if you didn't _realize_ it, _you did_."

"I remember the time, but I'm not sure what you are getting at," Adam mused, his brow still scrunched in confusion.

"I overheard your conversation with Jeff before the show," I admitted with a small smile. "What you told him... that I didn't 'function' in the WWE without him was true. You told Jeff, that without him I wouldn't work in the company at all. I remember your words so clearly because they struck a chord inside of me. Jeff and I... were so close in the confines of the WWE environment. But now, I don't even know what we are."

"You were spying on us?" Adam asked with a laugh, humor gleaming in his green irises. Through all of the serious statements, that was what he pulled from the conversation. I just hoped he was actually paying attention.

"Yes and I felt bad about it," I admitted, trying to get back to our actual discussion. "When Jeff and I made up later that night..."

"Thanks to me," Adam imparted cheerfully.

"... we never really talked through any of our problems," I continued, shaking my head at my fiancé's gleeful exclamation. "We tried to during our trip overseas, but things became too confusing."

"I thought you and Jeff _did _talk in Italy," Adam responded, and I was happy to see he was actually paying attention to the serious content of our discussion; that this was not only for my benefit, but his as well. "I certainly remember the great make-up sex after I thought you and he were screwing each other."

So much for seriousness...

"We did, but I was still too lost in my duality to really understand what I was saying," I attested, remembering the encounter as if it had happened a few hours ago. "We realized that we did care for each other, but didn't want to lose our current lovers. He knew that I had chosen you, but could see I was still conflicted. He just didn't know the reason why. Hell, _I_ didn't know the reason why."

I walked away from Adam and back to the sofa, slipping down and back into a seated position. I shook my head, still lost in thoughts from over a year ago. Adam came to stand in front of me, lifting my face to look upon his. Even through all of his humorous sidebars, I still saw the understanding in his irises. It gave me the ability to continue.

"I told Jeff he was my soulmate," I said, watching as Adam's eyes grew distressed at the information. He never knew that I had considered Jeff my other half; never heard me distinguish it as such. "I recited him a quotation from my favorite novel, explaining that the love I felt for you was like a tree: ever-changing as time went on. But my love for him... it was like the rocks below me: eternal."

Adam nodded his head, but a somber look had overtaken his features. I couldn't blame him as I was revealing some very personal and upsetting information that he had never known. Everything was veiled in lies and mistruths at that time... nothing was clear black and white. There was always a gray area - one that I was hoping to get rid of.

"But I had it wrong," I murmured, more to myself than the man above me. "I had it _so _wrong. It was my relationship with Jeff that has changed. He wasn't my rock: _you were_. You _always _were, but I was too scared to realize it."

He let go of the gentle hold he had on my cheek and sat down next to me once more. He pulled me on to him so my legs were straddling his lap. He took both of my hands in his and stared directly into my hazel eyes. The melancholy nature of his features had changed, and his gentle, loving gaze helped relax me.

"I remember that night. You told me that you were scared... _scared_ to love me fully," Adam murmured, as I nodded my head in confirmation. "I now know why. With all that was going on behind the scenes with you, I understand your mixed emotions. It would be impossible for someone not to have them. Part of me always knew that you were like two people. I could see it, since everyone in the business seems to have that same quandary. Two people at once, but lucky for us, it is only for the cameras."

I knew then that he was talking more from personal experience than about understanding my situation. _Adam_ and _Edge_ were two different entities whether people wanted to realize it or not. There was some of _Adam_ in _Edge_ and some of _Edge _in _Adam_, but they were not the same. The man in front of me never introduced himself to anyone ever as _Edge_... that wasn't him.

"So was mine - it just carried over into my personal life," I admitted, causing confusion to arise in my fiancé's stare. "Jeff and I worked well _on screen_ and _off._ We seemed so in sync. But now, my relationship with him seems different. When I came back in to contact with everyone, I knew that some things would be different, but... it seems like Jeff and I don't work away from a WWE ring."

"I think you are being a little too dramatic, beautiful," Adam mused with a slight chuckle, but my eyes stayed somber. "Jeff has been through a lot these past few months and is beginning to truly mature. Any negative moment in your life makes you grow, you know that. But you rise above and are stronger because of it. What change you may sense is probably just..."

"Change isn't the problem," I exclaimed, understanding what Adam was trying to say, but knowing it wasn't truly the problem. "There is more tension between the two of us, and it has nothing to do with his house fire. This was building before then. And... you should have seen him when he found out about our engagement. I've never seen him so... _so blank_. His eyes held no emotion whatsoever and then just as quickly they blazed with anger. He should've known that eventually you and I would... well, _you know_."

"_Want to get married_?" he asked rhetorically with a laugh. "Jeff was just caught off guard. He probably figured you would have told him as soon as it happened."

"I don't think so," I murmured with a slight shake of my head.

I knew what I felt. Earlier in the year, I made an effort to keep up with all of my wrestling associates. I went to a few events, constantly called and texted, and just put myself out there. I wanted them to know that I truly valued their friendship and wasn't just there because of my story. They all meant a great deal to me. Yet as my relationships progressed, one seemed to be locked in place. Jeff and I were seemingly stuck in the past and couldn't move forward.

The relationship we shared while I was a Diva didn't fit anymore. I was happy to openly discuss things with Adam and didn't need to run to Jeff with my problems. I had no secrets and didn't need someone to constantly lean on. My two personalities fused into one and the only person who couldn't adapt was Jeff. And it continued to get worse.

Jeff had shut me out right after his personal tragedy in March. He wouldn't answer my calls and when I went down to visit him in Cameron, he stayed locked away in his bedroom at Matt's house. He wouldn't even speak to me through the door. I knew he was hurting, but I was only trying to help him. A few weeks after that, he showed up at my apartment door and acted as if nothing had happened. He was the same Jeff whom I met and loved during my time in the WWE.

And that scared me.

Jeff glossed over the fact that anything had happened between us. He said he needed to get his head together before, but was okay. He didn't want anything to change between us, but it had and not just because of his uncouth attitude. I couldn't be the _Nami_ he wanted me to be anymore. Our relationship needed to change - to grow - but he wouldn't let it. There was too much dissonance between our two personalities. Our recent trip from New York to Florida was only salvaged by the presence of Shannon. Without him, I doubted Jeff and I would have made it.

"Nam, why don't you work on one relationship at a time?" Adam advised, leaning his forehead against mine. "We started this to work through _our_ problems. I'm sorry that I even got you on this tangent. Besides, I really don't think things are as bad as you make them seem. You've just had a rough night."

"But Adam..."

My verbal dissention was silenced when his lips claimed my own. I groaned, frustrated that he was not listening - that my problems with Jeff affected my relationship with him as well. I tried to pull away, but as soon as my lips parted to speak, Adam swooped in and devoured my open mouth once more. I let my eyes fall shut, detangling our entwined hands so I could run my fingers through his blond locks. All of the stress from earlier in the night left my body as his tongue caressed my mouth. I forgot all about the babysitting and the fact that I was still wearing the remnants of my failure as a motherly figure on my ruined outfit. I pushed away all of my lingering questions for Adam and doubts about my relationship with Jeff. Things couldn't change overnight, but at least, I seemed to be on the right track. We broke away from each other moments later, gasping for air.

"Look at the clock."

I looked at Adam in confusion, before turning to look over my shoulder. I spied the clock face on the grandfather clock leaning against the wall. _11:11_... the wishing hour, but also a time that held a little more significance for me and my fiancé.

"Make a wish."

"My problems won't be solved with wishes," I whispered, turning back around to stare into Adam's comforting eyes. The last time he asked me the same question, I told him my wish had already come true. And it had... but even with wishes granted, trouble still remained. "But maybe tonight was the start of something. Working through the past to arrive at our future."

"_Our future_. I like the sound of that... _Mrs. Copeland_."

* * *

**Please review! :-)**


	8. Must Be Love

_A.N. - Normal Disclaimer - I do not own WWE and its associated Superstars. To every one who has read, added, and reviewed, thank you! Most love goes to my wonderful reviewers - **moxxie23**, **Kris21xX**, **I'll miss you Edge**, and **Rainbowbrite006**. My timely updates the past few weeks are because of you; you all are the best. Hurricane Irene gave me some forty or so hours in the dark to plan out the rest of this story. I have an outline and know what I want to do with this story... how I get there, that's a different story. :-) The **real drama** will begin in the next chapter... just consider this **the calm before the storm**... cause something is certainly brewing. _

* * *

Thursday July 24, 2008  
5:16 PM - Adam's House in Florida

"So, are you missing New York yet?"

"Dani, it's only been two weeks! There is no way I could possibly be homesick in..."

"That much, huh?"

"_Yes_."

It was hard to believe that it had only been two short weeks since my move down South. Yet tomorrow would be two weeks to the day since Jeff and Shannon helped me pack up my life and begin anew in a slightly warmer climate. I hadn't spoken to either man much since, but knew that that was nothing new. I was used to spending months and months away from communication with my friends... and not just during the tumultuous months following my exit from the WWE.

The life of a WWE Superstar was a difficult one. You barely had any time to yourself. There was no off season and the men and women that worked for the company were constantly traveling and entertaining. It was hard for them to keep in contact with close family members, and thus I was never put off when I would go months on end without any real contact from my friends.

That was what text messaging was for.

Even though, I hardly received any textual communication from one specific WWE Superstar. Jeff was never one for conventional forms of communication. He wasn't one for conventional _anything_ for that matter. I figured that that was maybe why he was having such a hard time with Adam and I being committed to each other. We were firmly labeling ourselves as a unit. I knew that even though some of the bruised relationship the men shared had mended in the past year, it was a long way from anything resembling a friendship. Jeff saw that Adam made me happy, but wouldn't fully accept him as my partner for life.

It had been a week since Adam and I started to actually talk through some of our emotional hang-ups. We both had them and knew that it would take time to fully straighten all of them out. I discussed the possibility of going to a couples counselor, but that got thrown back in my face. Adam felt that our relationship did not need a professional's influence; that we just needed to focus on working through things ourselves. As long as we made a concerted effort to do that, I was okay with the arrangement.

Every night for the past week, we took an hour out of our night to just talk. Face to face, phone speaker to phone speaker... we just talked and told each other what was on our minds. It was quite refreshing. We didn't delve into the main obstacles in the way of our true happiness, but just tried to communicate with each other in a way we hadn't yet as a couple. These talks weren't full of sarcastic jokes and lovey-dovey flirting. It was two people becoming more comfortable with every aspect of the other, and it felt nice. I just wished that we had done it sooner.

"It's going to take awhile for you to get used to Tampa," Danielle said. "Probably a pretty big lifestyle change."

"Tell me about it," I murmured sardonically. As much as I loved Adam, I wasn't sure if Florida was really the place I wanted to spend the rest of my life. "I know that New York wasn't perfect... and my apartment definitely left a lot to be desired, but I just... miss all the hustle and bustle, you know? And it's not just that - I miss not having to drive, I miss the climate, I miss the culture."

"You _miss_ your friends," she imparted with a chuckle.

"I was getting to that," I attested with a laugh of my own. "I know that being here is the best thing for me and Adam. We are even working through the final doubts in our relationship."

"Now_ that_ is good to hear," my friend stressed.

Danielle always told me that the only thing holding me back from fully accepting Adam as my future was the fact that I was scared he was perfect for me. She figured that I was scared that I would finally be happy and sharing my life with another. I wasn't commitment-phobic, but I wanted my first marriage to be my last. I wanted to make sure that I found 'the one'... that I wasn't settling if there was something better out there. But I was fooling myself if I thought that there was anyone better than Adam Copeland.

"So, how are things at Hachette?" I asked, bringing the conversation back to the topic of my homesickness.

No matter how much I would complain about Mr. Williams and having way too many duties for what I was being paid, I did miss the sense of accomplishment it gave me. I didn't want to just be a doting housewife, even if my partner made more than enough money to support us. I wanted to contribute somehow and also stimulate me intellectually.

"Everyone on the floor misses you like crazy," Danielle gushed, bringing a small smile to my lips. That was something else I missed - the camaraderie of our floor. "Even Edgar... even though I think he is just missing his favorite underling. He knows that we won't put up with any of his shit the way you did."

"Yeah and I am sure that calling him _Edgar_ helps," I replied, glossing over her slight jab at my professional behavior. I wasn't a lapdog, but I did anything I could to make the department run as swimmingly as possible. Some people saw it as sucking up for a promotion... some were just happy that I was doing work they wouldn't have to. I just tried to respect the company and my superiors as much as I could. "I wish that I had more to do down here. I just have this article I have been trying to write."

"The one on wrestling?" she asked. "Wasn't the first draft due about a week ago?"

"I got an extension," I murmured into the phone, looking down at the open sociological journals in front of me. "Now it is due on Tuesday and I have barely anything written."

"When Nami says she has '_barely anything written'_, that usually means she just has her name and the date its due scribbled across the top of her page," Danielle mocked with a laugh. During college, she had seen me in the very same state of procrastination.

"You know me too well," I mused, looking down at the college ruled paper of my spiral notebook that had that very information scrawled across the top margin. "I have been trying to focus on it, but I have had more pressing matters on my mind. Now that Adam and I are making an effort to communicate, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me and that I really should try and get this done."

"Well you do know that you have a_ primary source_ living with you who would be more than happy to help," she stated in a tone that suggested she was grinning from ear to ear. "He knows that you are writing about the business, doesn't he?"

"Yes, we don't keep things from each other anymore," I replied. "I told him about it awhile ago though, before I even moved down here. He hasn't really asked about it since. I think something at work is bugging him."

"Really?" she asked, seemingly surprised that Adam could be feeling less than stellar about his job. "He seems absolutely Edgerific on every show."

"_Edgerific_?" I posed, laughing at my friend's term. I wouldn't really know if it was affecting his on-screen work, as I had hardly seen any of the broadcasts since Wrestlemania. "Adam has been bothered by a few injuries the past few months. It scares me when he explains how he sometimes can't feel his left arm after a long match or getting a power bomb."

"Has he seen a doctor?" Danielle asked, obviously concerned for his well being.

"When they go through drug testing, they are also given impact tests as well as cardio exams," I explained, knowing firsthand the thorough process that the random tests can be. "He was all clean and clear on his last test a month ago."

"Well, that's good," she replied, exhaling with a sigh of relief. "Maybe it also helps that he hasn't been working as many house shows as of late."

"And how do you know about that?" I asked, genuinely interested in how my friend knew so much about Adam's schedule. It was true that he hadn't participated in much of the house show circuit since the Draft a month ago.

"It's called the internet, babe," Danielle teased. "I read up on the results every week. Haven't seen his name on the card since he lost his belt to Punk. I so wanted him to win on Sunday. I mean, I realized it was a long shot, but..."

I zoned out of Danielle's long explanation of the current situation of the WWE and its storylines. I knew as much as I needed: Edge lost his belt to Money in the Bank winner CM Punk; Edge married Vickie, but was caught having an affair with the wedding planner; Edge lost a title match against Triple H just this past weekend at the Great American Bash after accidently spearing Vickie. It finally seemed like that marriage storyline was winding down. I couldn't say that I was sad to see it go.

"... so close. Steven was sure that it was his and..."

"Speaking of Steven, how is he doing?" I asked, breaking Danielle from her long wrestling-related rant. "I haven't spoken to him in awhile."

"He's doing okay," she answered, seemingly upset that I didn't want to partake in some wrestling orientated banter. "Having some boyfriend problems... even the pay-per-view this weekend couldn't cheer him up. Oh and thank Adam for us: the seats were kick ass."

The Great American Bash took place at Nassau Coliseum on Long Island, New York. Danielle had asked weeks ago if there was anyway Adam could finagle some tickets for the three of us. At the time, I was still living in New York and wouldn't have minded seeing the show live. It would have given me a chance to see some of my other friends. Those plans were squashed after moving to Tampa, but Adam still came through with the floor seats for my friends. He tried to convince me to go with him, but I was happy to have a quiet night at home. I had just seen John, Randy, and Chris and knew that should try and work on my article. That didn't exactly come to be, but I was still happy with my decision. Being back in the Tri-State area might have had adverse effects... made my homesickness kick into another gear.

"I'll tell him," I muttered, before the sound of loud barking assailed my ears. I smiled, knowing that that sound signaled the arrival of my fiancé. I knew that Danielle could probably hear the ruckus on the other end, as I had had similar experiences when speaking with Adam. "Speaking of which, I better go."

"Ditching me for your husband," she mumbled sarcastically. "I see how it is."

"I'll tell him you say hi," I replied, knowing that she was only joking. "Tell everyone at work 'hello' for me."

"Of course," she stated, but my attention was focused solely on the blond who entered the bedroom door. "Talk to you later."

"Ciao," I murmured, hardly paying attention as I ended the call and let my cell phone fall to the mattress.

My attention stayed on Adam as he pulled his slightly sweaty shirt over his head and let it fall to the beige carpet below. His gaze fell upon my lying form and a slow grin formed on his lips. He slowly walked over and jumped on the king-sized mattress, sending my papers and journals flying. I had little time to be displeased as his lips descended upon my own.

I inhaled deep, the smell of his cologne mixed with sweat - masculine and quite sensual. Any vocal declarations were stifled as his tongue brushed along mine. He tasted sweet - obviously having snacked on some of the freshly baked cookies before coming into the room. Yet from the way he acted, it seemed like I was much more delectable than any pastry could ever be. I could certainly say the same for him.

"I missed you," Adam murmured, when we broke apart for some much needed air. He pressed his forehead to mine, bringing up a hand to brush a stray tendril of hair from my eyes.

"You were only gone for an hour," I mused,, running my fingers up and down his sweat-soaked arm. "But I missed you too."

"Told you to come with," he replied, pressing a light kiss to the side of my mouth, before moving his lips lower on the side of my neck.

"And I told you that... I burn too quickly to go for... daily walks in this heat," I said, trying my best to concentrate on my words and not Adam's lips. They continued their assault down the column of my throat, and it was hard to even have a clear thought besides the heat he was causing.

"Your body will get used to it," Adam answered, as he pulled back to lay his back down on the mattress. He reached underneath him and pulled out a few books that he was lying on. "What's this? '_Nami Shepherd - July 29, 2008_.' Writing another exposé ... this time on the life of a WWE Superstar's wife?"

"Cute," I muttered at his sarcastic final statement. Even though I knew it was in jest, I was slightly miffed that he felt the need to bring up my past deception. It may have been wrong on my part, but without it, we would have never met. I couldn't be too ashamed of something that led me to the love of my life. "I'm working on an article. I told you about it weeks ago."

"Oh? I don't remember," he said, looking from my empty notebook to the other volume in his hand. I frowned, as I was sure that Adam would have remembered me telling him about my assignment based on his profession. "_Sociological Spectrum: Volume 26? _Okay... now, I'm confused. Don't you have an English degree?"

"At least you remember something," I murmured, taking both books from his grasp. He gave me a confused look, but I just waved him off. I leaned over to the other side of the mattress and pulled one of my other sociological journals from the carpet. I flipped to the bookmarked section and handed him the journal.

"_Wrestling with Masculinity: Messages about Manhood in the WWE_," Adam read, flipping through the eleven page article. "What is this shit?"

"Trust me, I am not too fond of it either," I mused, flipping to the eighth page of the article and pointing out a specific paragraph. "_Male performers also effectively question each other's manhood by implying that they were missing the requisite male genitalia. Jericho asks Test: 'How can a man whose name is short for testicles have absolutely none?' The Rock declares: 'Clearly Chris Jericho is a man who has no strudel'."_

_"And Edge tells William Regal: 'I guess you need those brass knuckles, because you definitely don't have a set of brass balls,'"_ Adam finished through laughter. "I remember that promo. Besides, none of this crap really applies anymore with the switch to PG and all."

On Monday night, the WWE switched ratings from TV-14 to TV-PG. It was being hailed as the true end of the heyday of professional wrestling, as the business was now catering to a more family friendly audience. Adam didn't mind in the slightest. He grew up loving the superhero, comic book world of the WWF and saw this as a renaissance of that mindset. The Attitude Era was definitely a thing of the past. It was also a smart business decision on the part of Vince McMahon, as the 18-39 male demographic that they used to so covet was now much more interested in the competitive sport of mixed martial arts. Instead of gambling with viewership, Vince was trying to preserve his audience, even if the old viewers were replaced with new ones.

"I know, but this is how many who are not informed about the business still see it," I stated, taking the journal from him once more. "Hell, it was sort of my own view on the business before I became a part of it."

"Which would make you a perfect candidate to try and change some of these fucked up stereotypes," Adam replied, rolling off the mattress. "Guess you should finish it before we get married though. Putting the name _Nami Copeland_ on the cover might make people think it's just some pro-WWE propaganda."

"First draft has to be turned in next week," I said, gathering up all of my scattered materials as he grabbed something on top of his dresser. "So unless we plan on eloping in the next few days..."

"Don't give me any ideas, beautiful," he replied, turning his attention back to me. I looked from his amused expression down to his hands. I furrowed my brow at the wrapped package as he came back over to sit on the mattress. "Found this on the doorstep when I went for my walk."

He handed me the brightly wrapped package that included a post-it note with "To Nami" scrawled on it. I looked back to Adam, but he just shrugged. I sighed and unwrapped the present. Tossing the paper to the side, I looked down at my gift. Immediately, my fiancé's laughter rang out as I frowned. It was a book entitled "The New Complete Babysitter's Handbook". Overtop of the cartoon picture of a woman taking care of a few kids was another post-it note which read "A.K.A. Babysitting for Dummies."

"Damn that Jericho," I muttered, as Adam continued on with his laughter.

"Aw, I think it's cute," he replied, reaching over to take the book from my grasp.

I watched as he flipped through the pages of my 'gift.' Last week's babysitting fiasco was not the first time I had watched Chris's children, but had definitely been the most stressful. I wasn't in the best mindset to begin with and then there was the fact that I was watching all three for such a long period of time. I never was the best babysitter in the world, but it wasn't always as bad as last time (even though Jessica stressed to me the next day that I did nothing wrong and the kids had a great time). I sometimes even showed some aptitude in the area... even if I fell into by accident.

* * *

_Wednesday February 6, 2008  
12:08 PM - Hachette Book Group: New York Office_

_"I know you don't want to take it, but it has been four hours."_

_"It's icky!"_

_"But it will help you get better."_

_All I got in response was another loud and spittle-filled sneeze, effectively making all of my desk as germy as the little four year old in my chair. I sighed and set the bottle of Amoxicillin down on my desk. When Chris asked if I would watch Ash for the morning, I didn't realize it would be this difficult. I had watched him before and he was easily entertained. But now, he was running a fever and sporting a cough that would make a chain smoker proud. _

_Chris had flown up from Florida early in the morning with his son in tow. The elder Irvine had a meeting at Hachette to try and negotiate a deal for a sequel to his quite popular memoir. Ash was tagging along because Jessica didn't want the twins to get her son's bronchitis. They had just gone through a month long flu virus and she didn't think their immune systems were ready to fight off any more germs. Ash did not show many symptoms as long as he took his medicine. Chris had achieved that task at my apartment hours ago. Yet I was having problems getting the little Irvine to cooperate._

_"Then why don't you take it?" Ash countered, pouting as he stared at the pink liquid in the clear bottle._

_"I have in the past," I replied with a smile. "It's not so bad. Tastes sort of like bubble gum."_

_"Lies," he exclaimed, spinning around in my leather desk chair. "It takes like... like soap."_

_"And how would you know what soap tastes like?" I asked, rubbing my temples with one hand while trying to clean off my infected desk with the other._

_"I accidently drank some bubble bath once," he replied with a small grin, causing his boyish features to resemble his father. "Smelled good... tasted bad."_

_"Unlike bubble bath, this will make you better," I stated once more, trying to impart to the child that it was important to take the pink liquid._

_He just shook his head in defiance and I sighed in frustration. Amoxicillin was one of the only medicines that I enjoyed taking as a child. The flavored drug actually tasted slightly pleasing, unlike many other cough medicines and fever reducers that were pretty much shoved down my throat. I was never good at swallowing pills and up until high school was forced to use the liquid variety of medicines. I could understand Ash's position if it was a horrible cough medicine, but Amoxicillin? I thought he was just trying to give me a hard time._

_I took the small bottle in my hand and tried to remember an instance in my childhood when I had to take the antibiotic. I couldn't remember much, but I did remember the medicine usually coming from the refrigerator. I felt the bottle, thinking that maybe if I cooled it, Ash wouldn't have such an aversion to the taste. I reached over for the ice water thermos on my desk, opened the top, and stuck the small bottle inside. After a few minutes, I hoped it would be cool enough to try again._

_"Here: play some more of your video game," I relented, handing him the handheld gaming device I had previously taken away to try and get him to take his medicine. I had learned that that method did not work in convincing him he needed the medicine. It just made him more stubborn, another trait he got from his father. "You still need to take your medicine soon though."_

_"I already took it this morning," he replied, happily accepting the device and immediately turning it back on. "I feel better."_

_"You feel better because the medicine is working," I explained, but he had already returned his focus to the small screen in front of him._

_I sighed and continued cleaning off my desk. Much of its contents would have to be disinfected. I wasn't a germaphobe, but knew that bronchitis could be contagious. Chris had assured me that he was past that stage, and Jessica only wanted him away from the twins as a precaution. I wasn't convinced. _

_For the next several minutes, we went about our own matters - he gleefully enjoying the world of the Mushroom Kingdom, while I tried my best to stave off an illness. When the final piece of my desk was disinfected with Lysol, I turned back to my thermos. I pulled out the small bottle and felt how cool the plastic had become. I smiled and turned back to the blond, but he paid me no heed. His eyes were lost in the pixilated world in front of him. _

_"Ash, I think it's time..."_

_The loud shrill ringing of my office phone pierced through the air. The blond haired boy looked over his gaming device with a grin. Even though he was only four and half, he knew what was about to come from my lips. I gave him a hard stare, but he just laughed and turned his attention back to his game. I sighed and reached for my desk's phone, trying my best to remember that I was supposed to be working at the moment._

_"Hachette Book Group, Nami Shepherd speaking."_

_"Why hello Ms. Shepherd, how are you doing today?"_

_I laughed into the receiver at my best friend's attempt at a professional voice. His lazy southern drawl came through too much. I smiled as I had not spoken with him since the Royal Rumble a few weeks ago. Many of us shared drinks after the show, but parted ways soon after. They did have tapings the next day and I had to be at work for the Nicholas Sparks presentation. Besides, I still was trying my best to steer conversation away from my little John Cena run-in. It didn't work very well. Since then, we all hardly had any free time. Adam was getting ready for a Latin American tour with the Smackdown and ECW brands. He was even going to be away for Valentine's Day. The second Valentine's Day in a row that we wouldn't be spending together... I just hoped that I would stay sober through this one._

_"Jeff - so nice of you to call," I said, beaming that my friend had found time to contact me. I tried my best to keep up a professional facade as I could never guess if some staff member would stop by. Personal calls were frowned upon during business hours, but I made exceptions when it came to my band of merry wrestlers._

_The little conversation Jeff and I shared at the Rumble was brief and cordial at best. It seemed like we were not connecting the same way we once had. I pushed it to the back of my mind... I had just gotten back in touch with everyone. I knew some time was all we needed. We would be back to long, multifaceted conversations sooner rather than later. I was sure of it._

_"Seeing as I am stuck on the other side of the country, I thought I would give you a call," he mumbled into the phone. "You wouldn't believe how cold it is over here."_

_"And where is 'here' exactly?" I asked humorously. "New York isn't exactly paradise at the moment."_

_"It's better than Fairbanks, Alaska," he countered with a laugh. "I think it is going to be a toasty thirty-five below tonight for the show."_

_"You're kidding, right?" I asked, with a shake of my head, remembering to keep a watchful eye on the coughing child in my care._

_"Nope; we are all trying our best to stay warm," Jeff replied with a sigh. "Which means avoiding the outdoors at all cost. I'm beginning to get stir crazy and I have only been up for an hour."_

_"I guess you'll never complain about North Carolina winter nights after this trip, huh?" I mused, looking down at the ice water and medicine in my grasp._

_Jeff continued the conversation about the Raw tour and I tried my best to listen. But my attention seemed to stray to the small boy in front of me. I knocked softly on the desk and held up the bottle. Ash turned his attention to me and gave another shake of his head. I gave him a pleading look, but he just smiled and went back to his game._

_"... go on tour next week. How are you going to spend the day?"_

_I had tuned back into the conversation enough to realize that Jeff was expecting an answer to a question. I furrowed my brow, but knew not to lie. Jeff would understand that, even though I wanted to speak with him, I had other priorities at the moment._

_"Sorry, Jeff," I mumbled. "I wasn't really listening. I'm trying to get Ash to take his medicine."_

_At the mention of his name, Ash set his device down on my desk and pouted. It seemed like he didn't like me talking about his dislike of medicine. I had to stop a small smile from forming on my lips as I figured out how I might be able to get him to take the pink liquid._

_"Ash?" Jeff asked, his tone slightly reserved. I hoped that I hadn't upset him by having my mind elsewhere. " You mean Jericho's kid?" _

_"Yeah, I am watching him for the morning," I replied with a sigh, which was more for the boy sitting in front of me than the man on the other end. "I thought that he was more grown up, but sometimes he acts the same age as his sisters."_

_"I do not!" Ash attested, earning a laugh from the man on the other end of the receiver._

_"I think you got him, darlin'," Jeff replied, continuing to chuckle to himself. "You insulted the male ego. And with a Jericho, it is probably twice as big as a normal man."_

_I laughed as I procured the bottle of medicine from the ice water. I unscrewed the cap and poured a dose of the chilled pink liquid into the small plastic cup. I pushed the cup across my desk and in front of the still pouting child. He picked it up with only a slight hesitation. He sniffed at the sweet smelling medicine before taking a deep breath. He closed his eyes and brought the cup to his lips. He tipped back the cup and its contents were quickly swallowed down._

_"See - that wasn't so bad," I remarked, reaching over to take the empty cup from his hand._

_"It was better than the soap," he murmured, wiping at his lips with a sickened expression still on his young face. "But just barely."_

_"Still, I'm proud of you for drinking it," I replied with a smile. "Quite grown up of you."_

_"Really?" he asked with a toothy grin, reminding me of his father once more._

_I nodded and he quickly returned to his game, satisfied that an adult thought that he was mature. I was just happy to be done with my one imperative obligation when it came to this babysitting assignment. Keeping an eye on Ash, I returned to my conversation with Jeff. Not much was said. He reiterated the part of the discussion I had missed... about Valentine's Day. I was trying my best to avoid that topic. I knew it was just a stupid Hallmark holiday, but it was another year that I wouldn't be able to spend it with the man I loved._

_Jeff was not going to be on the tour as he was part of the Raw brand that was staying stateside. He had planned a nice evening with Beth... just the two of them enjoying each other's company. I was envious that he was getting to spend the night with the woman he loved. I wasn't going to get a chance to see Adam before he left for the Latin American tour. I quickly pushed those thoughts from my mind. I didn't want to dwell on the negative aspects of my relationship, especially when on the phone with Jeff._

_"You know you are always welcome in Cameron," Jeff said, near the end of our conversation. "Feel free to pop by whenever."_

_"That's nice, Jeff, but things are a little different than they were when I was a Diva, you know?" I posed with a laugh. "I have a much more 'nine to five' type schedule and only weekends off. You are the exact opposite."_

_"Still, you are always welcome," he reiterated happily. "We have more than enough room."_

_I sighed, as he wasn't understanding my point. I wanted to see all of my friends more than I did, but I was also trying to have my own career. The WWE wasn't for me, but publishing was. It meant a different way of life, one that didn't tolerate whims of spontaneity that I used to have._

_"I'll remember that, thanks," I murmured into the phone, knowing it was better not to get into an argument with the high flyer. _

_We hardly ever fought, but when we did, we usually ended up not speaking for days. We would say stuff we didn't mean just to get a reaction or make hasty decisions that we would come to regret. Like when he tried to cut me out of his life before Wrestlemania last year... I still hadn't forgotten about how easily he had let me go. Just because things were complicated and confusing, he was willing to walk away and it took Adam to talk some sense into him. He said he would have come to the conclusion on his own, but I wasn't so sure._

_"Maybe I should let you get back to work," he said, slightly bothered that I was not as engaged in our talk as he was. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything."_

_"You didn't and I am happy you called," I hastily replied. "I miss hearing from you."_

_"Well, maybe I will pop by one day," he mused, his tone much happier after my last statement._

_"Just remember to call me before you do," I answered, knowing that my life was much more static than it used to be. When Jeff used to just show up at my doorstep, I found it charming. Now, it could be problematic and I didn't want him to ever think he was unwanted. "I want to make sure I am free."_

_"Sure thing," he muttered, but his tone had fallen once more. "I'll call you sometime, Meemz."_

_"Miss you," I said, hoping that it would help the conversation end on a positive note._

_"You too," he mumbled before the line went dead. _

_I groaned knowing that that call didn't go as well as I wished it could. Why were things so weird between the two of us? I replaced the receiver on the phone base. I let my personal thoughts fade as I watched the young boy play his video game. His innocent features so enraptured, I sometimes wished my life could be as simple as a child's once more. I forgot how carefree it felt to be young. No work, no real personal drama, just youth and so much potential waiting to be fostered._

_Just wait 'til you grow up Ash... you'll wish your biggest problem is disgusting medicine._

* * *

"... _and a good supply of common sense. Attitude is everything in this job. When parents know that you like taking care of their children and when they know they can trust you..."_

"I get the point, handsome," I interrupted, causing my fiancé to grin and finally close the offending book. He tossed it on top of my pile of articles before reaching over and pulling me to his side.

My mind was trying to return to the present. I was still lost in my thoughts about Jeff and how his behavior had already started to change as far back as February. No matter how much Adam would try and defend him (for what reason I was not sure), I knew that things had changed between us long before any tragedy in Jeff's life. I had never vocalized my feelings to the younger Hardy and was beginning to think that was a major error. Jeff and I could talk about anything. If I wanted to get over this change that seemingly had occurred, I would need to talk to Jeff directly... sooner rather than later.

"You know this book is just retaliation for that dancing game you bought the twins for their birthday," Adam murmured as he pressed a kiss to my hair. I let my thoughts of the past drift into the back of my mind and concentrated on the man next to me.

"You mean _'we bought'_," I replied, turning my head so I could look into his warm irises. "And considering how they couldn't stop playing it before we left, I would say it was a damn good present."

From previous times of being in the Irvine household, I knew that the children loved to play video games. Ash had an Xbox 360 that he played every chance he got. His sisters were given his old Playstation 2 system. With that information in mind, I had purchased a Disney Channel dancing game for the twins for their birthday party last week. It seemed like they may have liked it a little too much.

"It may have said it was from both of us, but Chris knew who it really came from," Adam muttered, with a small grin on his lips. "He says it is bad enough when he has to hear _Hannah Montana_ in the car, but now it's at home too. It's driving him mad."

"That isn't hard to do," I murmured jokingly, leaning further into Adam's embrace. I nuzzled my head into the crook of his neck, relaxing into his touch. He had to leave tomorrow for a weekend of house shows as well as the Smackdown taping on Tuesday. I had been spoiled that he had been around a lot of the past week. I didn't want to see him leave. "Not to sound too much off topic, but I talked to Dani. She said thanks for the tickets."

"Next time you talk to her tell her it was nothing," he mumbled, obviously enjoying our relaxation period just as much as I was.

"I will," I replied, nipping lightly at the skin covering his collarbone.

I felt the rumble of a groan in his chest and had to smile. I continued my light biting of his flesh, working my way up to his stubbled chin. Before I could continue any higher, Adam pinned me to the mattress and brought his lips down upon mine, my arms restrained above my head in his grasp. So much for relaxation... but I couldn't say I was upset as his tongue slowly teased my still sealed lips. I would not give in so easily to his fervent behavior.

I kept my half-lidded eyes open staring at the lust-filled green irises beaming down at me. He tried once more to pry my lips apart, but was unsuccessful. I smirked as best as I could with my lips sealed shut. His current failure did little to cease his attempt. He sucked greedily on my bottom lip, trying his best to alleviate some of the pressure I had created. I tried my best to keep it pressed tightly with its twin, but I could not deny Adam's advances any longer. It was his turn to smirk slightly... you couldn't tell from the position of his lips, but his eyes said it all.

My lips parted and Adam hastily slipped his tongue inside the wet cavern of my mouth. I moaned low in the back of my throat as he teased my tongue with his own, repaying me for my previous torment. I let my eyes finally slip shut and just sunk into the passion that had settled between us. Adam let go of the hold he had over my arms, slipping his own down my sides. He gripped my waist, pulling me taut against him. I used my free hands to tangle my fingers through his blond mane. I heard a growl from my partner when I pulled too rough, but knew the sound was not one of pain.

I wrapped a leg around him, rubbing our two centers together. Adam let go of his hold on me, seeing as I was doing a good job of keeping us entwined myself. Using one arm to prop himself up on the mattress, he used the other to pull at the hem of my shirt. Our lips broke apart just long enough for him to pull the cotton over my head and toss it to the floor. His right hand was now free to run down my chest, coming to rest on my bra-covered right breast. The silky fabric did little to halt Adam's fingers, and I groaned at the sensation.

Yet before either of us could truly get lost in each other, Adam let out a muffled groan and pushed away from me. My leg fell from his backside as he rolled into a sitting position, reaching up to massage his left shoulder joint. Concerned, I moved to his back, reaching out my own hand to rub along his affected flesh. I knew that he was having problems with his arm, but it never had affected any of our passionate endeavors before. He let his own hand fall away from his skin as I took up massaging the obviously aching muscle. He leaned back into my chest, and I maneuvered my legs to be on either side of him.

No words were spoken for quite some time. Both of us were trying to get our arousals in check... and I was trying my best to soothe Adam's aching body. Even though he hadn't been wrestling a full schedule as of late, he still gave it his all every week in the ring. I was scared that he was pushing himself too hard. We hadn't really talked about his injuries because he assured me that they were minor. I knew that he was just trying to make it seem better than it was. He knew his body and had to know it was telling him to slow down.

"Thanks, beautiful," he murmured, reaching up to still my kneading fingers. He brought them to his lips and kissed every digit.

"No need to thank me," I replied, letting my chin settle in the crook of his neck on his right and uninjured side. "I just wish you would be honest about how you are feeling."

"_Complete honesty_, I know," he muttered with a chuckle, still grasping my hand lightly in his. Even though that principle that we had adopted was really focused on our emotional problems, it could be said that it also applied to the physical... especially when it came to Adam and his choice of occupation. "I was going to wait a few more days before I told you."

His serious tone hit me and a chill settled in the pit of my stomach. I stiffened and my mind began to race through all of possible scenarios this conversation could bring about. None of them sounded very pleasant. I knew that my change in demeanor did not go unnoticed by my fiancé as he turned around and pulled me into his lap. He grasped my other hand in his and brought his forehead down to mine. It reminded me of our past - how many times did we find ourselves in a similar corporeal position? It just reminded me of how much I loved the man in front of me and no matter what he had to say, we would find a way to get through it... together.

"No need to be nervous, Nam," he mumbled, nuzzling his nose with my own. "If it was_ that_ serious, I would have told you sooner."

"Well, what am I_ supposed_ to think?" I asked sarcastically. "Your serious tone never instills confidence that things are peachy."

"I love when you say that," he murmured with a laugh, commenting on one of my favorite choice adjectives. "You're so damn cute when you do."

He ghosted his lips over mine, a light butterfly kiss that eased some of the tension that had overtaken my body. His eyes held so much tenderness that I had to believe his news was nothing to dread. I had to take him at his word that if it truly was something serious, I would be one of the first people to know.

"Remember a few weeks ago when I went in to talk with Vince?" he posed. I nodded in response, recalling that that was the whole reason I had asked Jeff to help me move out instead of my blond beau. "Well, I have been mulling it over for a few months now, and I've decided to take some time off."

"You can do that?" I asked, with wide eyes and disbelief in my tone.

I was surprised that he would be allowed time away without a real surgery-inducing injury. I knew that when Chris and Jeff both took time away, they needed to be either let go or not resign a contract. Adam's current contract wasn't up for another few years, and there was no way in hell Vince would fire one of his top heels. I was stumped.

"Vince isn't a slave driver, beautiful," he replied warmly, letting go of one of my hands. He brought his now free arm to my side, rubbing light circles with his fingers along my side. "I needed some time away, not just for my body but also my mind. These past few months took a lot out of me in the ring and I need some time away from it all. I love the business, but just need to distance myself from it for a little while."

"I'm just surprised you're allowed to take a vacation," I said, trying to concentrate on Adam's words instead of his magical fingers.

It was harder to do than it seemed. Even though I was highly engrossed into our conversation, he was able to physically distract me with just the lightest of touches. He knew every sensitive spot on my body... knew what he needed to do to elicit a response.

"It's not a vacation in the sense that you are accustomed to," he countered with a smile. "The time I miss gets added to my contract and I also have duties as a WWE Superstar. Some appearances, interviews... standard employee affairs."

"For how long?" I murmured, reaching up with my free hand to tangle my fingers in his blond locks.

"Not too sure," he replied with a laugh. "Probably go back some time in October, November... whatever fits in the storyline at the time."

"So your shoulder just needs some time off to heal or..." I trailed off, not wanting to vocally bring up the possibility of another surgery. Adam had been through enough already. His smile fell slightly, but his warm gaze never faltered.

"My shoulder pain is just a symptom of my previous neck injury," he answered honestly. "It will never get _fully _better, but as long as I don't push myself too hard, it won't have any long term effect on my life."

"You sure?" I whispered, bringing my hand down from his hair to the spot on his left shoulder that bothered him still. I kneaded the muscle lightly under my fingers, enjoying the slight moan of contentment that reverberated throughout the room.

"Positive," he mumbled, as I continued to massage his wounded area. "This time away from the ring isn't just about my injuries."

"Injuries?" I countered, stilling my fingers as I stared hard at Adam.

"Can't let anything slip by you, huh?" he replied with a forced laugh. My expression didn't falter causing him to sigh. "My knee has been acting up the past few weeks. Nothing bad, just a little strain."

"A little strain can turn a lot worse," I mused with a frown.

I worried that something would happen between now and when he was actually taking off. I knew that he had to at least be on the active roster until Summerslam. There was no way he would be allowed to be a healthy scratch from one of the biggest events for the company. Adam also had a history of pushing himself through injury. He was a true team player and if Vince needed him, he would go out there and wrestle even if he wasn't physically up to it. He said that things had changed since the Wellness Policy - how wrestlers would not be cleared to wrestle if any little thing was off - but I wasn't so sure.

"Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my career?" Adam asked with a grin, pushing back on me so I fell flat against the mattress. He rolled over and lay his body next to mine, propping himself up on his right elbow. He used his free left arm to trace circles on my exposed stomach, causing chills to run up and down my spine. "Trust me, love. I know what I am doing. I have been wrestling in some form since before you were born."

"When you say things like that, you make yourself seem so old," I replied with a teasing pout. I knew he was including his backyard wrestling antics with Jay and some of his other friends before they even were in middle school. Yet the point still stuck with me that he had lived so much before I had even entered into the world.

"I _am_ old," he joked, his hand coming to rest on my right breast. He teased the still bra-covered nipple with a grin, before turning his gaze to my own. "I'm old enough to know exactly what is important in my life. I love wrestling, but I know I won't be able to do it forever. When my ride is done, I'll happily look into my future... with you by my side."

"So when does this little vacation of yours start?" I whispered, as a few tears pricked the sides of my eyes after his declaration.

"After Summerslam, I am all yours," he murmured, pulling himself up my form so his lips hung millimeters from my own. "Even though I asked, I was touched when you decided to move down here to be with me. We could have been engaged and still lived apart, but... I wanted you here. I know it will take a while for you to get used to life here, and I want to help you any way I can. Maybe with me being around more..."

I pushed up and pressed my lips to his. I didn't need to hear anymore of his words. I knew he was taking time off because of his injuries, but also appreciated that some little bit of his decision was based on me. He wanted this to work just as much as I did... wanted to give it everything he had.

Even though I initiated the kiss, Adam quickly took control. He pulled back from the kiss only after he had us both panting with arousal and desire for each other. I leaned off the mattress enough for Adam to effortlessly unclasp my undergarment and toss it to the side. His lips quickly returned to my flesh and worked their way down the length of my throat. He licked and suckled at the juncture between my neck and collarbone. He lightly nipped at the flesh, before sucking it between his teeth with enough pressure that I was sure he left his mark.

He kept much of his weight on his right side, obviously not wanting another unpleasant interruption to our coupling. Using his free hand, he reached between us and pulled my yoga capri pants, along with my hidden lace underwear, down my legs. He let his gaze roam across my naked form. I had learned over the past few months to be confident in my skin in front of Adam. Normally, I would shy away from such an appraisal, but he had shown me - in more ways than one - just how much he enjoyed the view and all my body had to offer. I learned to not be so modest, and take pleasure in the admiration that my fiancé's expression held.

His lips returned to my own, hungrily devouring all in his way. I could feel my lips bruising under the pressure, causing a moan to get caught in our conjoined mouths. The slight pain only made the pleasure that much more satisfying... and arousing. I could feel Adam's erection through the fabric of his cargo shorts, the rough fabric feeling coarse against my bare skin. Yet Adam's hands were too busy teasing my finally unclothed breasts to notice, even though I was sure he was aware of the pressure the clothing was putting on him.

I reached down blindly, knowing his body almost as well as I knew my own, and quickly unbuttoned his shorts. Adam groaned into our kiss as I pulled the zipper down, finally freeing him from his cotton prison. I was able to get his shorts and boxers off with little help from the man hovering over me. Adam was concentrating all of his efforts on giving me as much pleasure as possible.

Adam's mouth pulled away from my own, working its way down the length of my neck once more. Instead of lingering, his lips continued until they reached my right breast. His tongue darted out to taste the flesh, but I was too aroused already that I couldn't handle his teasing. I tried to pull him back to my lips, but he was content with his current exploit. I felt his lips turn upward in a grin at the frustrated moan that left my lips.

His lips soon continued downward to the sensitive skin of my stomach. His tongue ghosted around my navel, letting his gaze peer up over my body to find my own half-lidded eyes. He smirked before heading lower to my core, teasing my most sensitive spot like only he could. His tongue was working me into such a frenzy that he finally relented, dragging his lips back up my body to reclaim my own once more. His tongue still held some of my own flavor and I moaned as he entwined his tongue with my own.

He settled himself effortless in between my thighs and thrust deep inside of me. The sensation would never become ordinary, as I felt my toes curl from just the beginning of our coupling. My hands were tangled in his blond hair as I kept my lips battling with his.

Our bodies moved as one and I felt like things were finally beginning to fall into place for us. Just like our bodies, our lives were like a jigsaw puzzle - pieces that fit perfectly within each other. My body seemed to fit seamlessly with his. And our lives... they would never be fully compatible but we were trying our best to make the pieces fit. So far, they had.

Now, we were only a few pieces away from a complete masterpiece.

* * *

**Please review!**

**_Next Chapter: Nami takes a trip to Cameron... wonder how that will turn out?_**


	9. Stand Back

A.N. - Normal Disclaimer... I _do not_ own WWE and its associated Superstars. To everyone who has read, added, and_ reviewed_, **tanky tanky** (sorry for the 90's Nick Jr. reference, but I've been feeling nostalgic as of late). Most love to _my wonderful reviewers_ -** I'll miss you Edge**, **Kris21xX,** **moxxie23**, and **Rainbowbrite006**. You all make it easier to continue even if my passion slightly seems to wain. The _slight_ delay in my update was because _real life_ drama impeded me from continuing my writing.

To make a very long story as short as possible, two Mondays ago, I had my** first** _melanoma _check-up. My oncologist found _three problem spots_ during a quick evaluation of my upper half and decided he wanted them off me_ASAP_. **Surgery** was on Friday and three incisions later, I was sent home. The _Edge Appreciation Night_ heightened my mood** slightly** (even though I wish _the ceremony_ was shown - damn WWE and their need for DVD sales... I understand, but still miffed). I have just come off my pain medication because I can't stand the way it makes my mind work... or **not work** would be more apropos. I get the results of the biopsy on **Monday**, but the doctor says that he believes that there is _only _a **slight chance** anything bad will turn up. All of it was just precaution so the _melanoma_ has no place to return and target.

That wasn't that _short_ at all, **sorry**. But I just wanted to let all my readers know that this story** will continue**... _no matter what_. This will be finished and not quickly just to wrap it up. I am _too committed_ to these characters and the story to just end it now. I have even started a_ tumblr_ ( _driftintotheunknown_ is my handle, and there is a** link** in my profile) of **Edge** gifs to keep my passion from waning. Making gifs was easier than writing on my medication. :-) So **thank you** all for sticking with me through everything and I hope you enjoy the chapter. If not, I'll blame my meds... just kidding. :-) **All the Best!**

* * *

Thursday July 31, 2008  
2:17 PM - Cameron, North Carolina

I took a deep breath as I looked at the brick house in front of me. I didn't know what state of mind I would find my best friend in. For the first time in our relationship, I was slightly nervous to see him. I didn't want our friendship to end just because I was finally able to come to terms with everything from my WWE past. Even though I had changed my approach to our relationship, Jeff was still very dear to my heart. He helped me so much in the past, and even though I couldn't be the exact woman he came to know, I was still _Nami_. We had connected deeply in some respect and I wanted it to be able to grow. Besides, this trip was more than just about me.

Adam had returned to the house show circuit the past weekend. He was going to be wrestling a full-time schedule until his time off after Summerslam. His program on Smackdown was with his wife Vickie, but it was leading to a match with the Undertaker... in Hell in a Cell. She had fired the Deadman when her and Edge were happily betrothed, but now that things were less than perfect with the couple, Taker was reinstated. The match was sure to be worthy of closing out the pay-per-view, but there was a slight problem with the build up for the match.

Undertaker and Edge couldn't wrestle at house shows... not just because it would give away what should be a five-star match, but because the Undertaker didn't appear at many of those non-televised events when he wasn't the champion. That left Edge without a storyline adversary. There was another popular wrestler who didn't have a real storyline at the moment, and considering their history, the bookers matched the two together. Just my luck, Jeff Hardy versus Edge was pretty much going to be the main event for the Smackdown house show card throughout the next month.

According to Adam, the matches had yet to go swimmingly. They had filmed a match for the upcoming _Saturday Night's Main Event_, and Adam said it was as tense as it had ever been between the two of them. They had wrestled each other hundreds of times whether in singles or tag team competition, but something was off. Adam said he noticed something in Jeff's eyes - that he seemed more incensed than the character of 'Jeff Hardy' should be. Sure, _Edge_ and _Jeff _should never really like each other, but _Edge_ was the one going through a psychotic break at the moment. For once, Jeff was the one who should have seemed more normal out of the two. Adam had worked so hard crafting the _Edge_ character the past month to get to the match with the Undertaker, and Jeff seemed oblivious... like he had something to prove to Adam in the ring.

I had already planned on paying my friend a visit, but after discussing things with Adam, I knew not to put it off. If Adam and Jeff were going to have to wrestle each other a hand full more times before Summerslam, I wanted both of them to be in a good state of mind. The last time Jeff and I had spoken was the day after I moved to Florida... _three weeks ago_. Sure, we had gone longer without speaking, but this time was slightly different. I had called every day the past week... Jeff had yet to return a message.

I walked up the few steps and pressed my finger on the doorbell. I heard the noise reverberate slightly through the house. A few sharp dog barks soon emanated from beyond the wood and frosted glass, followed by a shadowed figure eclipsing the light from the door's window. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding and smiled as the door opened. Yet instead of being greeted by my blue-haired best friend, it was his brother instead... which was understandable considering it was _his house_. Jeff and Beth were staying with the elder Hardy brother while their new house was being constructed.

"Oh, hi Matt," I greeted, trying not to show my slight disappointment.

"Meemz, what are you doing here?" Matt asked excitedly, pulling me into a friendly embrace. "Jeffro didn't tell me you were coming."

"Maybe that is because he doesn't know," I said sheepishly chuckling, as Matt moved away from the doorway, allowing me to enter his humble abode. I smiled down at his dog Lucas before turning back to the elder brother. "Figured he wouldn't mind if I just came down... I mean _up,_ for a visit."

"Still not used to Florida, huh?" Matt joked at my slight misspeak. I just shrugged and looked away from his gaze, knowing that my relationship with Adam was not a topic he would like to happily discuss. "Anyway, I am sure Jeff won't mind the visit, considering how many times he popped in on you up in New York."

"He around?" I asked, not wanting to seem like I wasn't enjoying his company, but knowing that this visit was more than just a friendly one.

I was trying my best to stay solely focused on my objective for this trip. It was very easy for me to get distracted on anything. Because of that and my habit of procrastination, I had to spend my whole weekend pouring through pages and pages on the sociological effects of professional wrestling to get my article done for its Tuesday deadline. It was only a first draft, but I wanted it to be academic quality. And now, I was in Cameron for a reason and knew that if Matt - or worse yet Shannon - butted in, I would never achieve my intent.

"Yeah, I'll get him for you," he replied with a smile, motioning his head to the living room down the hallway. "Just relax in there while you wait."

"Thanks," I murmured, walking the short distance to the room.

I took another deep breath and ran through in my head what I wanted to say. Talking to Adam for once seemed to be easier than talking to Jeff. Maybe it was because I had finally put the WWE Diva chapter of my life behind me. It had brought me some of the greatest friends a person could ever ask for, and I couldn't imagine them not in my life. Just thinking about a life without Adam chilled me to my core...

But that time in my life was also stressful, chaotic, and full of lies and half truths. Now, I didn't need to hide and was happy to blend my real life with the slightly feigned one of the WWE Diva Nami. Jeff had never crossed the line into that real life sphere. He was happy to keep everything as it once was: when we were roommates, when we were on-screen love interests... when I thought we were soulmates.

Would Jeff truly accept the fact that I grasped onto something that I knew was unattainable, just because I was scared of how my time in the company would end? My heart knew whom it was meant for, but I was too afraid of the repercussions at the time to truly commit. I didn't want to be hurt... but I never meant to hurt Jeff in the process. I truly cared for him, but now know that I could never love him in the way he deserves, even if I once thought I could.

"Well, this is certainly a surprise."

My thoughts were stalled as the southern drawl of my friend pierced the air. I turned around and saw him leaning against the entryway to the room. His blue hair was tied messily behind him, leaving his intense gaze unobstructed. I smiled and waved coyly at him, losing all of the nerve that I had been building up.

"Hey, nice to see you too," I responded with a chuckle.

He smirked slightly before pushing off of the wall and coming to stand in front of me. He pulled me into a tense embrace, pressing a kiss to my right temple. I gazed up at him, but the words I wanted to say died in my throat. Why was this so hard?

"Any reason for the visit?" Jeff asked, his voice void of much emotion. I frowned slightly and took a small step back. Something really was off between us.

"I just... really need to talk to you," I replied, trying my best not to yield to his intense stare. "Do you not get messages?"

"Do _you_ not get messages?" Jeff shot back mockingly, using my own words as his reply.

My tone was slightly joking referring to my many unreturned calls, as I was trying my best to lighten the awkward mood that had fallen over the room since his appearance. But his query was filled of scorn and bitterness. I couldn't believe my eyes or ears. This was the first time I could ever remember him speaking to me in that uncouth of a manner.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, not able to hold back my anger and frustration any longer.

"Oh, don't _you_ know?" he retorted, once again in a mocking, sardonic tenor. "You seem to be _so full_ of answers as of late."

I was lost as to what he was speaking of. I couldn't understand where all of his bitterness came from. This couldn't have just been about my engagement. I knew that it had upset him, but this attitude seemed rooted in something much deeper.

"Okay, back up," I started, but he just shook his head and headed out of the room. I quickly followed him as he walked down the hallway and opened the front door. "Jeff, I came here to talk to _you_."

"Your _husband _ask you to come?" he scoffed, slamming the door shut behind him.

I gaped at the closed door, trying my best to process what had just happened. Yet that was impossible. This was not the _Jeff Hardy_ I knew... was that man a just a concoction of my own imagination? Was this whom Jeff Hardy really was? I found that hard to believe, and quickly followed him out of the house. Now more than ever, I wanted answers.

I stepped outside and let the door fall shut behind me. I took a step forward and focused on the back of my blue-haired friend. I opened my mouth to speak when he spun around to face me. My words died in my throat as he closed the distance between us, his lips descending upon mine. My eyes widened in shock as his tongue quickly slipped through my parted lips, sweeping lightly around the cavern of my mouth. It was hard to think in my state of shock, but instinct took over and I pushed harshly on his chest. I was able to force him back a few paces away from me. I reached up and wiped my lips, still not believing his actions and attitude.

"Jeff... what are you doing?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as level as possible. I knew that my eyes were reflecting enough venom. There was no need to fly off the handle, especially since both his brother and girlfriend were close by.

"You and I..." he started, but hastily stopped, shaking his head and walking back down the stoop. I waited a few moments to see if he would return to continue, but he had taken up pacing a few yards away.

"I need answers," I continued, walking down the steps to stand near his moving form. "I came here because..."

"Because you need to tie up all loose ends before you marry that fucker," Jeff seethed, glancing over my way briefly before turning away and continuing his pacing. "Don't try and make me believe that this trip has anything to do with _me_, when it has everything to do with _him_."

His tone held so much acrimony, making our earlier words together seem pleasant in contrast. I didn't see my best friend in front of me. I didn't even know who this was.

"This is about _us_," I reasoned, hoping that I could try and bring my friend back to me. "Things haven't been great with us for quite some time and..."

"Yet I am still the one you coming running to whenever you have a problem," he interrupted, stopping his movement to fully turn his attention to me. I scrunched my brow in confusion, causing him to scoff and kick his feet in the dirt in aggravation. "Take a few weeks ago... we hadn't spoken in a few weeks and you call and say you _need_ my help. And what do _I_ do? Drop _everything _to come and help you pack your shit together to _move in_ with _a man_ who doesn't deserve _to breathe_ the same air as you, let alone have you _living_ in his home."

It seemed that I underestimated how much the announcement of my engagement affected him. I assumed that he realized how deep my relationship with Adam was... he _had_ to have known. I shook my head and opened my mouth to speak, but he held up his hand to silence me. He swiftly strode over to me, reaching up to cradle my face with his hand.

"I could tolerate your relationship at one time, but not anymore," he whispered harshly, his green irises burning into my soul. "You want to know why our friendship has been fucked up? It's all him, darlin'."

"Adam has_ nothing_ to do with this," I interrupted, causing him to laugh blithely, stroking his fingers along my cheek. "This is about how I have changed, not..."

He laughed once more, halting my words. He leaned his forehead down against my own, dropping his hand from my cheek. He threaded a finger through each of the front belt loops on my denim jeans pulling me closer to him. He took a deep breath, letting his eyes fall shut, seemingly deep in thought. My mind was racing. I wanted to push him away and abort this whole mission. All of this felt like many shades of wrong. Yet instead, I stayed deathly still, watching as his eyes slowly opened, not looking anymore sane than before.

"Your relationship with that bastard is progressing because he's trying to emulate what _we_ have," Jeff murmured, bringing his lips ever so close to my own. "You two are thriving while we are set ablaze. I wish you could see that."

"You're crazy," I whispered, trying to pry him off of me yet failing miserably. "Adam and I are _in love_ and have been for a long time. We..."

"Look at your ring," he interjected, letting go of my jeans with one hand so he could lift my own into my eyesight. My mind was still on my last fractured statement, and I really had a hard time following his train of thought. "I saw the rings he brought for _his last two wives_. This... this is not _Adam_."

It was the first time Jeff had actually uttered Adam's name since I had arrived. That was not lost on me as he lightly traced the five stones on the vine-embellished band. I had to admit: the ring was not the most traditional of engagement rings. Yet we hadn't had the most traditional of relationships. The ring was perfect in symbolizing our love and in my mind, was an ideal reminder of what we had. It meant a lot to me that he went for something different... _something personal._

Jeff dropped my hand and fully detangled himself from me. He reached up and pulled his cotton tee over his head. Before I could interject, I became absorbed as he ran his fingers down the tattoo that marked the length of his arm: the vine-like configuration that was proudly on display every time he entered the ring.

"That ring is unique... and not _Adam_," he muttered, his eyes watching his own fingers trace his tattooed skin. He flicked his gaze to my own as he breathed out the last two words.

"It's _me._"

* * *

_Thursday February 7, 2008  
7:28 PM - West 72nd Street, New York: Nami's Apartment_

_I dragged my briefcase the last few steps up the final staircase leading to my apartment. As much as I usually enjoyed the hike up and down, as it gave me much needed exercise even if I couldn't make it to the gym, tonight was an exception. Work had been more hellish than usual and I couldn't wait to just curl up on my small mattress and get some much needed rest. My two inch pumps felt like they were made of lead as I forced myself up to my doorstep. I fumbled with my keys, leaning my head against the cool painted wood of my door. _

_To tell the truth, my sour mood wasn't only about work. I hadn't been sleeping well the past few nights as it had been too long since I had a certain handsome blond Canadian to snuggle with. We hadn't seen each other since the day after the Royal Rumble pay-per-view. This was the busiest time of the year-long season for a WWE Superstar: the road to Wrestlemania. Constant media appearances, longer tour schedules... less time for significant others. _

_There were two Smackdown tapings filmed this week in Texas as the brand was heading to South America for a tour. I had received long calls both nights from my boyfriend, but just hearing his voice made me ache for him even more... and it had only been ten days. Just thinking about that exact length of time made a small smile come to my lips. Not because of the time we had spent apart, but because of the song it had brought to forefront of my mind._

_"_To see you when I wake up, is a gift I didn't think could be real_," I sang softly to myself, as I shoved the key in both locks on my door. One similarity Adam and I shared was our love for music... even if one of us was completely tone deaf when he sang. It made me feel closer to him whenever I did sing. And I still would take his off key singing over any classically trained vocalist in the world. It was endearing. "_To know that you feel the same as I do, is a three-fold Utopian dream."

_I pushed my door open still singing the lyrics to the song. I knew exactly how Brandon Boyd must have felt when he penned the lyrics as they mimicked my relationship with Adam ideally. Relationships like mine and Adam's were hard and we still had a lot of problems to work through. Yet I knew in my heart that everything would work out. I loved him too much for it to fail. I wouldn't let it fail. Through all the restless nights and longing for him, I knew it was worth it._

_"_You do something to me that I can't explain," _I sang in a slightly louder tone, being now in the confines of my own apartment. I let my heavy, work-filled briefcase fall on my mattress, as it was the first piece of furniture I came across when entering the room. My apartment really was tiny in every sense of the word: one medium-sized room with a small kitchen and bathroom. Yet it suited me just fine... and was the total opposite of Adam's spacious, opulent home. Two total opposites... _"So would I be out of line if I said 'I miss you'?"

_I shrugged off my pea coat and blazer simultaneously and let them fall on the small leather recliner a few feet from my bed. I kicked off my black leather pumps, as I took in the expanse of my living quarters. It was another difference between my space and Adam's. His was immaculately clean and uncluttered_... all the time_. My place wasn't dirty, but in total disarray. Clothes were strewn across all the pieces of furniture. Magazines littered the wood floor. CD cases lined the easily accessible walls. Books lied open on the tabletops. Everything felt lived in and like home. Adam's house felt too sterile and perfect, predominantly caused by his fleeting time spent there._

_I walked into my small kitchen and opened the refrigerator, pulling out a small bottle of apple juice from the side compartment. I opened the plastic cap and took a quick swig, looking longingly at the picture on the cluttered countertop._

"I see your picture; I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine," _I sang, tracing the planes of Adam's face with my finger. _

_Even with a slightly tipsy look on his features, he was perfection in my eyes. The picture was from Randy's birthday party after Wrestlemania the year before. We were so in love even then... even if he had only said those three little words a few weeks prior. I could see it in both of our expressions and knew that I was a fool for lying to him for so long. Or at least avoiding him when things - or more precisely Chris - were pushing us to reconnect. Yet as the idiom stated - 'hindsight is twenty/twenty'. Things seemed much clearer now than when they actually occurred. _

"You have only been gone ten days," _I sang to the picture in my eye sight, smiling at the final words. It _really _did fit perfectly. "_But already I am wasting away."

_I pushed off of the counter and the left the small alcove I called a kitchen. I twirled around my tiny floor space, trying my best not to spill the contents of my bottle of juice. Yet at that moment I didn't really care if some of the amber liquid fell to the floor below. Thoughts of my beloved and the profound lyrics swimming in my mind took me to a blissful state of being._

"I know I'll see you again, whether far or soon," _I continued, twirling around as I let my eyes fall shut. I conjured up an image of Adam - hair mussed, bright toothy grin, green eyes shimmering with love and affection. _"But I need you to know that I care, and I miss you."

_I spun around once more yet in my self-imposed blindness, I knocked into my small coffee table. I grimaced and felt myself begin to fall off balance. Yet before I could topple, I felt two arms encircle my torso. My eyes were still shut, and on instinct, I dropped my bottle of juice and screamed. A hand quickly came over my lips. Before the intruder could take any other course of action, I reared back and sent an elbow into his solar plexus. The arms dropped from me and I spun around in a defensive stance as I finally took in my sputtering attacker. My eyes grew wide._

_"Oh my God - Adam!"_

_I rushed to his side, but he waved me off, trying his best to regain the breath that I had forced out. I looked down at the apple juice puddle I created and groaned. I really never could get anything right. As I tried to pass my boyfriend to get towels to clean up my mess, he reached out and pulled me to him. His lips devoured mine on contact, instantly bruising the tender sensory organ as he went. I moaned and wound my fingers through his hair, letting my lips part to allow his tongue entrance. I leaned into him, pressing my weight against his form. Yet I was still supporting myself with my slightly jell-o-like legs... legs that quickly slipped in the juice puddle on the wood below. I shrieked as I fell and the force of my fall caused Adam to tumble as well. He landed with his full weight on top of my body._

_I groaned as I felt my silk dress become saturated with the amber liquid. Adam laughed as he rolled off of me, barely showing any signs of wear. I frowned at him, before turning to look at my cream colored clothing. I just hoped it wasn't ruined, as I had already had bad experiences of cleaning silk garments. I just wasn't meant to handle delicate fabrics it seemed even though I loved to wear them. As I surveyed the damage, Adam pulled himself off the ground and offered me a hand. I looked up at his cheeky grin and a small smile made its way onto my lips. It was hard to be even slightly bothered by anything since he was here. I accepted his hand, and he hastily pulled me to my feet._

_"Well, your dress did a good job of mopping up the floor," Adam joked, looking down at the remnants of the offending puddle. "I doubt that was your intent though."_

_"It's not my fault that I get twirled into a frenzy whenever you are around," I replied, looking down at our still conjoined hands. "Besides, I wasn't expecting on seeing you until the twentieth at the earliest. At least that is what you told me yesterday."_

_"Plans changed," he murmured, leaning in to press a tender kiss to the corner of my slightly swollen mouth. "Instead of flying out of Tampa tomorrow afternoon, I am taking an earlier flight from JFK. So at least we have the night to spend together."_

_"But weren't you in Texas last night?" I posed, furrowing my brow in confusion. "Meaning you still had to go back to Tampa to pack for the tour... Adam, please, don't tell me you traveled..."_

_He cut off my words by silencing my lips with his. That action just assured me that he had done what I feared. Instead of spending a leisure travel day before the tour, he must have caught a red-eye flight to Tampa, packed for the eight days of overseas traveling and entertaining, and caught a flight up North. I couldn't believe that he would strain himself so much, but felt my heart swell just thinking that I was the reason for it. I pulled back slightly glassy eyed and smiled._

_"Why do you have to be so perfect all the time?" I mused, beaming up at the grinning blond._

_"I'm not perfect, beautiful - far from it," he replied with a chuckle. "I'm just trying to make up for past failings; trying my best to make everything in this relationship work."_

_"You haven't done much wrong in our relationship," I stated truthfully, pulling him with me as I entered my kitchen once more. _

_I needed to clean up the rest of the liquid before any more accidents occurred. Besides, I didn't want to have to worry about it later. I knew that I would probably be partaking in a much more pleasurable action anyway. _

_"I'm not just talking about _our _relationship," Adam admitted. "I haven't been the best partner in any of my previous relationships. That changed with you."_

_I frowned slightly as I pulled a couple of paper towels from the roll. As much as I loved when Adam said such loving statements, I couldn't help but think slightly cynically about them. He always seemed too good to be true, and I just knew that I couldn't be that lucky in my life. I knew I wasn't just some random one night stand that he had magically fallen in love with... it wasn't that much of a make-believe, fairytale-esque scenario. We were co-workers once; had been slight adversaries before becoming friends. Yet there were times when I couldn't shake the feeling that he probably said all of the same things before... to multiple women. Even if not to random ring rats after the shows, he at least had said them to his previous wives once upon a time. I didn't see how I was much different than them._

_"Please Adam, don't start," I murmured, pushing past him and back to the main room. I got down on my knees and laid the paper towels down on the damp floor. "I would rather just enjoy your company while I can and not be stuck trying to sift through your lines."_

_"What can I do to prove that they are not 'lines' as you call them?" he asked earnestly, coming to tower above my form. I wiped up the rest of the juice before casting my gaze up at his. "I love you and when I say things like how you have changed me and my life, I _mean_ them."_

_I nodded, but didn't vocally respond. There was no sense arguing with him, but I knew my fears would never fully subside. It wasn't just about his past, even though that was huge hurdle in our relationship. It was the fact that I knew the lifestyle that he lived first hand. The random hotels and bars that the Superstars frequented. It could get lonely on the road... I wasn't stupid. I knew what could and probably happened even when the Superstars were in committed relationships. Attractive woman threw themselves at them left and right - even the most loyal partner would feel a tug toward unfaithfulness. That was the reason that Jay stayed away from that atmosphere for much of his WWE career. He would go out with Adam to a bar, sure. But clubbing with the roster - nope. He knew that getting rid of any temptation was the only way to stay truly faithful to Denise. Adding alcohol into the mix and one bad night could mean a lifetime of regret._

_I rose off of the floor and headed to the entranceway of the kitchen, pressing my foot down on the trash can lever, and tossing the damp towels into the bin. I turned back into the main room and took in the slightly gloomy disposition of my boyfriend. I figured he could tell that I truly didn't believe his words, but I knew only time would quell my fears. His charms couldn't win over everything in my life, even though it sure did try to._

_"So when do you have to leave?" I asked bluntly, wanting to know how much time we actually had together._

_"Please, don't think about that," Adam responded, reaching out to pull me to him. His free hand brushed the damp silk of the back of my dress; his lips beginning a trail of their own down the length of my neck. "Just think about _this_."_

_He pressed himself fully to me, bringing his lips back to mine. Our lips battled in a duel of sloppy, panting kisses. I sort of felt like he was in front of the cameras filming a scene as Edge, but quickly strayed away from those thoughts. Not Edge... Adam. _

_"I'm so happy I made you a set of keys," I murmured jokingly between kisses, causing Adam to chuckle low in his throat. Much of the noise was stifled by my lips, but I felt it._

_After a few more moments of our fervent kissing, we both needed a much needed break for air. Adam used the pause to reach down and pull at the hem of my dress. He grinned before tugging it up and over my form. I couldn't see much, but when the damp fabric was fully pulled off of my body, I blushed at the heated gaze that had fallen over my boyfriend's features. I still wasn't fully comfortable about being in such a state of undress around him. A light pink lace bikini and matching bra were all that hid me from Adam's roaming eyes. It wasn't that I was truly insecure about myself, but I never really had much experience in this deep of a relationship, especially of this physical nature. I looked away from his eyes, but his hand reached out to cup my cheek. He used his grasp to return my gaze to his._

_"You're so cute when you blush," Adam muttered, leaning in to bite at my swollen bottom lip. He tugged gently at the tender flesh, letting go only after a moan surfaced from my throat. He held the damp garment into my view. "You want to soak this?"_

_"Is that how you care for silk?" I asked with a shrug. "I normally just let the dry-cleaners deal with it, but I don't know if they are open now."_

_"Don't even think about leaving," Adam responded playfully, lightly whipping my exposed skin with the dress. _

_He chuckled before heading to the small bathroom, most likely to soak the garment to try and help it from not staining. I trusted his judgment, not really caring about the dress at the moment. I used his absence to rush over to my chest of drawers, pulling out a satin slip to cover me up some more. I unclasped my bra and let it fall to the floor before pulling the raspberry colored garment over my head, fixing it so it fell correctly over my shape. The ivory floral lace that trimmed the bottom and bust line gave the slip a flirty look. I figured Adam wouldn't mind if I was a little more covered; I doubted it would last long anyway._

_"The silk is so..."_

_Adam's sentence stalled as he took in my newly clothed form. I grinned as he smiled, taking in the way the satin fell along my curves. He crooked his finger, beckoning me closer. I slowly walked over to him, taking his still extended hand in my own. He twirled me slowly around, taking in the full view._

_"Please, tell me that I am the only man to ever see you in this," he murmured, tracing one of the flowers on the lace pattern on the top of my breast. His finger strayed a little lower to one of the leafy vines of the lace, teasing my now braless nipple. "Because if not, I have to go beat this image out of someone's mind. I don't mean to sound possessive, but I want this vision for myself."_

_"It's all for you, handsome," I whispered, reaching up to still his teasing fingers. I brought them to my lips and lightly kissed and suckled on his fingertips. "Only you."_

_"So I don't have to worry about you running off and spending another Valentine's Day with Randy in my absence?" Adam joked, as my lips continued their current ministrations on his fingers. _

_I had to laugh as some memories of the previous year's holiday came flooding back. I didn't have a full recollection of that night which could be blamed on all of the alcohol I had consumed. I regretted it as I couldn't remember my short time spent with Adam that night. I just remembered seeing him with his blonde 'friend.' We hardly ever talked of that night._

_"My Valentine's Day is probably going to be spent here, curled up with a pillow and wishing it was you," I replied with a smile, dropping his hand from my grasp._

_"A pillow, huh?" Adam asked cheekily, before he turned and headed for my recliner. He rose his brow at the coats that were thrown haphazardly on the chair. He grasped them in his hand and tossed them onto the nearby couch. He reached down on the seat and pulled at a pile of red and black fabric. "This might be a little better than a pillow. Happy V-Day, beautiful."_

_He reached out and handed me the large mass of fabric. I accepted it quizzically, wondering how something from Adam could've been hidden under my coats. He wasn't here when I arrived. He seemed to sense my slight confusion and gave me the answer my brain seemed to be seeking. _

_"I've been here for around an hour," he stated, as I just started to examine the bunch of weighty fabric in my grasp. "I went down to the bodega across the street to get some dessert for us... which is probably melting all over your bookcase. I was so caught up in your singing... and twirling that I forgot about it."_

_I didn't pay him any heed as he walked past me before heading into the kitchen. My eyes were focused on the bundle in my hands. I ran my fingers over the fabric and pulled at it to reveal a soft plush head of a brown stuffed bear. Adam knew my fondness for stuffed animals. It started with my parents, especially my father. Every major event in my life was accompanied by a stuffed toy. Birthdays, choir concerts, graduations... it was just a way to have a physical reminder of the time and place. Most were still at my father's house, but I cherished them all even if they were not with me._

_This bear was super soft to the touch and looked familiar. I pulled some more at the fabric and revealed the Rated R Superstar logo on the front. The jersey was much too big for the stuffed bear, even though he was quite massive in girth. I hoped that it was purchased in the city as I couldn't imagine Adam having to lug this bear all the way from Tampa, even though it was a humorous thought. I pulled up the jersey and looked at the fabric tag on the bear's bottom seam. 'Snuffles'... I smiled as I remembered why this bear seemed so recognizable to me._

_"I don't know how you do these things, Adam, but..."_

_I couldn't finish the sentence as I just stared at the black plastic eyes of the bear, recalling a similar white bear that I knew was lying on my bed at my father's home. I had this same model of bear - smaller and white in hue - but it was the same bear. My father had given it to me for my first Christmas after my mother's death. I never liked to value one stuffed animal more than the other, but I treasured that bear from the moment he was placed in my hands. He certainly showed wear from constant snuggling and play, but still was _my_ bear: the constant, loyal friend that was always ready with a smile. The two most important men in my life had given me practically the same gift at times when I needed a pick-me-up - it had to be a sign._

_"Nam, what's wrong?" Adam asked, concern laced in his tone, caused probably by my change in demeanor. _

_My gaze did not raise from the black eyes of my new bear, but a small smile formed on my lips. I felt like a little kid once again, as I pulled the slight bent, crescent shaped bear to my chest. The top of his head rested under my nose and I breathed in the scent. My old bear originally held the scent of peppermint; it was stored next to a few boxes of candy canes and the smell leeched into the fabric. This bear smelled of Adam - his spicy cologne that was tinged with a brief hint of citrus, the coconut body wash that he used ever since stealing my bottle in December, and... _peppermint_, probably from the pack of gum he always kept in his coat pocket. My nose locked onto the unique blend of aromas, but seemed focused on the minty scent and I knew why. _

_My past and present were now conjoined in memory._

* * *

"You're wrong, Jeff."

My voice wavered only slightly as I watched his finger trail down his forearm. The ring that glittered on my finger was a symbol of the relationship that _Adam and I_ shared, no matter what Jeff wanted to believe in his own mind. The vines wrapped around _our_ birthstones, joining _us _together. The larger gemstone - the brilliantly cut diamond in the center - shimmered with every wave of my hand, reminding me of the emotions that the two of us shared: of the time that we spent fully carving out our love. To even think that it had anything to do with the man in front of me was ludicrous.

"You sure about that?" Jeff scoffed, dropping his arm back to his side. He strode over to stand in front of me once more, his irises boring deep into my soul. Any retort I had quickly disappeared as I watched his heated emeralds glare down at me like they had never done before. "Are you that blind, _Nami_?"

Jeff never called me by my given name unless something was seriously wrong. I couldn't even remember the last time he had used it. It sounded so foreign coming from his lips, and hurt more than any other word he might have uttered. It was truly like our connection was fading away before my eyes. I knew deep down that we were still friends... that this friendship would last (at least that was what I kept telling myself internally). He meant too much to me, but I couldn't understand this change in demeanor. Adam and Jeff never would be close, but things seemed to be going better between them. But ever since my engagement...

"He is trying to take what we have and make it his own," he seethed, reiterating his earlier stance on my betrothal . I shook my head, but it only inspired more of his ire. "We have never fought like this and yet we are now! And you want to know why? You may not want to believe it... but this has nothing to do with me and you. Nothing at all."

I pushed past him, walking a few paces away trying to calm my racing mind. I let out a loud breath, realizing that this visit would never achieve my original objective. There was no talking to Jeff like this. I couldn't reason with this man. And through all of my chaotic, disorganized thoughts, there was really only one motivation I could surmise for his behavior. Thus, I turned toward the blue-haired man once more, the first glance of his gaze still causing my whole being to become unnerved.

"Are you jealous?"

My question hung in the air, but was quickly answered with bitter laughter. He used his time of chuckling to pull the tee back over his head, straightening out the wrinkles with a wry smile on his face. His eyes lightened ever so slightly, as if he was truly amused by my query. It was not said in jest. It was the only reason I could come up with... and it seemed like a valid one.

"Jealous?" Jeff croaked out through continuing laughter. "It's not _me_ who is jealous, darlin'. It is your _loving, adoring fiancé_."

The last three words felt like a venomous poison being released from his mouth. I could feel a slight chill run down my spine from his tone. This outright hatred was something I had never seen. Jeff was never this uncouth about anything... even Adam.

"How can Adam be jealous when _we_ are the ones who are engaged?" I asked, truly confused at his heated accusation. It didn't make sense to me, but nothing Jeff had said during this visit really had.

"Because Adam knows that no matter how many times you say you love him..."

Jeff stopped and walked over to stand in front of me, brushing some windswept hair from my slightly glassy eyes. My demeanor did nothing to faze him. Jeff just continued on with his allegations.

"And no matter how many times he_ fucks_ you, trying his best to imbed into your body _and_ soul..."

His hand came up to my lips, halting my scathing retort. With my vocal communication cut off, my eyes blazed at him for his comment. It caused little change in him. His lips slightly turned up into a smirk, before coming to rest close to my ear, whispering his next words under his breath. It was a sentiment that I once felt. Yet now I was beginning to feel as if I truly didn't know truth from fiction anymore. Whenever I felt like my life was becoming secure, something always appeared to get in the way. And this time, it seemed to be in the least likely place.

"He will never know you like I do... _never_."

* * *

_Please review... :-)_


	10. Mama Said

A.N. - Normal Disclaimer... I do not own WWE and its associated Superstars. To everyone who has read, added, and reviewed, tanky tanky. Most love to my wonderful reviewers - **SandraSmit19**, **moxxie23**, **Kris21xX**, **I'll miss you Edge**, and** Rainbowbrite006**. You all rock my world and keep me going.

On a personal front, I got **good news** from my oncologist. The trouble spots _weren't_ cancer, but pre-cancer. They had _metabolically_ changed and could have become cancerous, and for a recovering melanoma patient, that is not a good sign. I have an appointment for a full body check on Monday so if there are any more trouble spots, they will be closely monitored or taken off. **Only time will tell... **

But enough of that... this chapter is a mash-up to progress the story. It isn't my best work, but I needed to get this stuff in before _Summerslam_ (which will be the next chapter of the story). **Please review!** _All the Best!_

* * *

Wednesday August 13, 2008  
8:12 PM - Adam's Home in Florida

"Okay, it's my turn: _never have I ever_ had sex on a first date."

I looked at Jessica as both she and Denise picked up their bottles and took a swig of the bitter liquid enclosed in them. I chuckled at the fact that it was Jessica herself whom had asked the question and she was taking a hit from her bottle. Wasn't the point of the game to come up with a statement so one _would not_ have to drink? I just shook my head and continued to pick at the label on my half full bottle of Molson. As much as I loved the idea of having a girl's night in with the two blondes, I was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the way things were unfolding.

The night started innocently enough. We all shared some Chinese take-out before I asked for their advice on redecorating and furnishing the unused, ornamental sitting room. Adam had told me that he wanted to make some changes to his home to try and make it feel more like _our_ place instead of just _his_. Both women had good ideas and a list was compiled to go over with my fiancé at some point. Then the night turned toward a more free flowing affair.

The three of us decided to break into some of the alcohol that was still left over from my housewarming present from the Legend Killer and Cenation Commander. The two blondes then decided that we should all get to know each other better. To tell the truth, we didn't know that much about each other and most of the things I did know about them, I learned from their husbands. Yet after shared stories of how we all came to be entangled in relationships with our respective lovers, Jessica suggested something _more fun_.

I didn't know if those words could_ accurately_ describe my feelings at the moment.

"I have one that I know you will have to drink on," Denise said, turning her full attention toward me. I stopped my nervous picking of the label and returned her gaze with an uncomfortable grin. "_Never have I ever_ had sex backstage at a WWE event."

My eyes went wide, my cheeks turned crimson, and both girls began laughing anew. Was that really common in the company? I had never seen anything like that when I was there. Back at the hotel, _sure_... in the rental car,_ only if really desperate_. But at the arena? Neither of them took a drink from their bottles so thankfully I wasn't alone. Yet my lack of response caused pointed stares from both blondes on the sofa.

"Oh_, come on_, Nam," Jessica said mockingly, reaching over to try and lift the bottle to my lips. "We know you and Adam _must _have found some alone time during your tenure as a Diva."

"Yeah, and wasn't that during the time that he used the TV locker room with only a few of the guys?" Denise asked, and I slowly nodded in confirmation. "You_ so_ are lying."

"I am not," I stated defensively, starting my nervous picking anew. "Just because he wasn't in the main room with most of the roster, Randy and John were always around."

"So, if they _weren't _around, would you have..."

"No," I exclaimed, halting Jessica from finishing her question. "Don't forget I wasn't exactly there to be a wrestler after all. There was way too much going on in my mind at the arenas to think of sex."

"Right, that only happened once she _left_ the arena," Denise mumbled jokingly, causing me to give her a pointed and slightly disgusted stare. "Don't give me that face. You forget that I have known Adam a lot longer than you have. I know how he can get."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively, yet quickly put up my free hand to still her from speaking. "No, please: don't answer that. I don't think I want to know."

As much as I did want to learn more about Adam's past, I didn't necessarily want to learn about it through gossip and hearsay. Even though Denise and Jessica did know Adam long before I even knew who he was, I wanted Adam to open up, not his friends' wives.

"You are going to have to get over Adam's past if you want this relationship to work," Jessica said, taking a long swig of amber liquid from her bottle. I hoped that action signaled the end of our little drinking game. "Trust me, it's not the easiest thing to be the wife of a wrestler."

"Tell me about it," Denise scoffed under her breath, downing the rest of her beer in a few quick gulps. It seemed like all of us were having some personal problems at the moment, whether we wanted to admit them or not.

"But it's very easy to be in love with the man who completes you," Jessica quickly stated, obviously not wanting to sound so pessimistic. "When it's right, _it's right_. You and Adam _seem_ right."

Silence fell over the three of us as Jessica's words hung in the air. We all were obviously in love with our wrestling-inclined halves. Yet it also seemed that the three of us were at different stages of a relationship. Jessica had three children with her husband. She had a full house to take care of even when her husband was away. Denise had a career of her own. She didn't just sit around and let Jay's wrestling pay all of the bills as she had made a good name for herself as a real estate agent in the area. Even though Jay didn't have as strict and tiresome of a schedule being in TNA, he still traveled and was away more than most husbands. Denise's job gave her something to get lost in and push herself with, something I knew that I would have to do to keep my sanity during the many lonely days ahead of me.

As it was painfully obvious throughout the whole evening, I was the inexperienced one in all areas of life. I felt like I was an elementary school student overhearing a high school conversation... like I didn't belong. Sure, there was an age difference between us, but that hadn't caused any weird, awkward feelings in the previous times we had spent together. Yet we had never really talked all that personally before... even more so without the guys present. I didn't feel like I truly belonged in their company by myself. With Adam by my side, _sure_. These were his friends after all. I didn't exactly feel like I could call them my own yet.

I took a sip from my bottle of lukewarm beer and looked between the two women. They had done nothing but welcome me with open arms into their lives. They were trying their best to help me get used to this new life that I had fallen into. I hoped that they would become new friends - dare I even think that they could be as close to me as Danielle and Steven? I didn't want to think of it as replacing friends, but making new ones that could step in to roles that had been changed. I was no longer available for nights out on the town in New York. My life was now in Florida and I needed to remember that. I needed to not forget the past, but try and forge a future here... one that I would be satisfied in living.

I thought back to what Jessica had said about Adam and I _seeming right_. We were happy and in love, but he had been that same way before. It was that one fact that had me wary. Adam was an attractive guy; he would have no problem getting practically any woman he wanted. He had tried settling down before and it hadn't worked. What made him think that this time it would be different? That he wouldn't be tempted if something new came along? Whenever I tried talking to him about it, I got no real answer. Thus, against my better judgment, I decided to try and initiate some conversation about Adam's past.

"But what about Alanah and Lisa?" I asked tentatively, breaking the long silence that had settled between us. Both women turned their attention to my seated form and I returned Jessica's stare. "Didn't they _seem right_?"

She shrugged and leaned back against the sofa cushion, unsure of what to say. I heard Denise sigh and turned my attention to her. She ran her fingers through her blonde hair, sharing a hesitant look with Jessica, before turning to me.

"How much has Adam told you about his previous marriages?" she asked and I let out the breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding.

"Not much..." I started, nervous as to how to continue. Even though I began this topic of conversation, it still made me nervous. Anything that dealt with Adam's romantic affairs seemed taboo to be discussed. "Well, he's given me the basics."

Denise could see my apprehension about the subject, as I could see hers. This was her husband's best friend... more like _brother_. Yet if we were to become friends on our own accord, talking about our personal lives should come easy. This wasn't one of those times, most likely because it wasn't really about either of us.

"Trust me when I say, Adam is different now," Denise said with a small smile. She looked down at her empty bottle, and back to me with a small sigh. "With Alanah, it was feeling that he needed to be married to be happy. They were friends _then_ lovers. But marriage material? Adam was _way_ too immature to be married at that time."

"Still is in my opinion," Jessica scoffed out with a chuckle. "But you see who I am married to, so who am I to talk?"

All three of us laughed and it seemed that some of the tension fled the room. Jessica and I both lifted our bottles in a joking salute over her comment and finished our beers. I wiped my lips with a much more content feeling settling over me. Yet one glance toward the other blonde, and my feelings of apprehension returned ten-fold.

"Lisa was a different story," Denise said softly. She looked to me with a conflicted look, showing how unsure she was about the way the conversation had turned. I couldn't blame her if she didn't continue. I doubted I would be able to. "She... I really don't know if I should say anything. It's all in the past and that is where it should stay."

"Then I will," Jessica answered quickly. Denise opened her mouth to voice her dissent, but Jessica continued on. "Adam got remarried _way too soon_. He knew Lisa when he was married with Alanah, casual acquaintance type of thing. But then he was out with his neck surgery and going through the beginning of his divorce proceedings... he needed someone to be there for him."

I nodded my head. I had heard as much from Adam. He was going through a very difficult time in his life both personally and professionally. It was only natural that he would have wanted someone to be there with him through it all.

"His friends could only do so much," Jessica continued. "Everyone was so busy with their own lives and Adam's... well, his was _quite stagnant_. There wasn't much he could do with the severity of his injury. He wrote his book... but that was about it. He hated being at home because of all of the feelings brought on by his divorce."

Denise tried to interject once more, but Jessica turned to her. I couldn't see the expression on her face, her blonde hair shielded her eyes from my view. Yet when Jessica returned her gaze to mine, Denise said no more. She slumped back against the sofa cushion and was content to just listen.

"He thought it was his fault," Jessica said gently, knowing that she was treading into dangerous personal territory. "That he had done something to fall out of love with his wife. He was way too hard on himself, and he didn't begin to have any joy in his life until Lisa."

I opened my mouth to respond, but was cut off when Denise surprisingly began to speak.

"Lisa was like a combination of everything Adam thought he wanted," she recalled with a small smile on her face. "And she came to him at the perfect time. She loved the outdoors like he did. Loved the same type of music and frivolous things like that. Adam was attracted to her and thought that he had found the person who would complete his life."

She took a deep breath as if she was trying to convince herself that this was a good idea. I wasn't sure myself. Even though I knew much of what the two women had divulged already, just hearing about Adam's emotions at the time made my heart ache. I could understand why he was so eager to move on. He was a romantic at heart and was ashamed that his first marriage had failed.

"He moved way too fast and didn't see anything wrong with getting married to a woman only seven months after divorcing another," Denise continued with a small snarky chuckle. "He thought that she brought him _stability_ and she had helped him through the darkest time in his romantic life. But... just as with Alanah, things changed."

_Things changed_... that seemed to be the mantra that had been circling around in my head the past few weeks. Ever since I returned to Florida from Cameron, I knew just how much change had occurred. I thought that it was just me, but it seemed like everything around me had gone through some sort of transformation. And they all weren't for the better.

* * *

_Thursday July 31, 2008  
3:08 PM - Cameron, North Carolina_

_"I take it things didn't go so well with my brother."_

_I laughed, turning my head to look into the elder Hardy brother's eyes. Jeff had stormed back into Matt's house when I refused to be swayed by his words. If Jeff wouldn't listen to me, I sure as Hell wasn't going to listen to him. I figured that he just needed more time. I would try and reason with the man whom I called my best friend another day._

_"That's certainly an understatement," I replied with a small smile on my lips. "I figured you were going to be the Hardy brother who'd have the most indignation with all of this. Guess I was wrong."_

_Matt shook his head, joining me in leaning against my rental car. He reached around and pulled me to his side in a slight embrace. Obviously, he could tell how affected I was by his younger brother's behavior. I hadn't expected him to be so... so insane. There was obviously some motive for his behavior and I couldn't believe that it was just because he was angered over my choice of life partner. There had to be more, but I just couldn't see what it was._

_"Just don't come crying to me when Adam divorces you within a year of marriage," Matt joked, causing me to elbow him in his ribs. "Just stating the truth."_

_"Past truths aren't the same as the future," I replied, trying my best to convince myself of it as well. I trusted Adam, but this whole day had shaken my emotional balance. It seemed like the things I did rely on weren't always what they seemed._

_"Yes, but as they say, _history repeats itself_ and I don't want to see you get hurt," he stated in a much more serious tone than his earlier statements. _

_Matt turned to face me before reaching into his front jean pocket. He pulled out a little slip of paper and extended it to me. I gave him a quizzical grin before taking the scrap in my hand. I opened up the fold and looked down at the ten digits in front of me. I turned over the paper to see if there was anything else, but the other side was blank._

_"It's Lisa's cell number."_

_Matt's words stilled most of my confusion. Yet I still was uncertain as to why he was giving it to me. There was no way that I could actually use it. I didn't even know the woman. Sure, I wanted to know more about her, but just because she was once married to the love of my life. Not like I could call her and just ask... could I?_

_"Lisa and I haven't spoken in awhile, but I know the number still works," Matt continued, but I had yet to look away from the ten digit pen scratches on the paper. "Just thought if there was ever any doubts in your mind about your engagement, she would be the one to call."_

_"Adam would kill me if I did," I muttered more to myself than the man in front of me._

_"Adam would have to understand that you are only trying to look out for yourself," Matt reassured me, but I couldn't be swayed. I could under no circumstances call her. It would be a total betrayal of trust._

_"Thanks, Matt, but I think I will be fine without it," I said, folding up the paper once more and extending my hand._

_"Keep it," Matt said with a wave of his hand. "Never know when you might change your mind."_

_Matt and I parted ways shortly after yet I spent the better part of twenty minutes sitting in the car in his driveway. I just stared down at the small piece of paper in my grasp thinking about what he had said. If Adam wasn't able to fully open up to me, there might be a time when I would need to take things into my own hands. The ten digits floated in front of my eyes and I knew that I should toss it aside. Holding on to this would do me little good... Adam would never forgive me if I called Lisa. He hated when I even brought her up in conversation. To actually connect with her, learn about the relationship that was never spoken about... _no, I couldn't even think of it.

_Finally making up my mind, I crumbled the piece of paper and went to toss it into the backseat of the rental car. Yet as it started to fall from my fingers, I quickly made a fist, capturing the fragment of paper within. I sighed, pulling the paper back to me and slipping it into the pocket of my jeans._

_What harm could come from it..._

* * *

The slip of paper was tucked away in one of my complete volumes of Shakespeare. I knew that there was no way Adam would find it there. Adam may be very well read, but he wouldn't touch Shakespeare with a ten foot pole. I knew that I should've thrown it away as soon as Matt gave it to me, but I couldn't get over the fact that someday it might be needed. I would need to get over all of my doubts to say "I do," no matter what measures needed to be taken.

"But let's just stop with all this talk of the past," Jessica stated, quickly interrupting my thoughts about a few weeks ago. I wasn't sure if I had missed anymore of the conversation, but I was just too struck into how much had changed between my life in New York to now. "We are seriously bringing down the mood."

My mood was not necessarily brought down by the talk of Adam's past wives. It was because of my lack of answers from the man whom I considered my best friend. I tried calling him several times since that ill fated trip to Cameron, yet got no response. It seemed that the next time we saw each other was going to be at Sunday at Summerslam. Since it was going to be Adam's last match for a few months, I agreed to go with him. He seemed just as excited by that than his actual match with the Undertaker.

I was excited as well, but also a little apprehensive. Adam had said that Jeff was still acting up in their matches. Luckily, they were not every night on the house show card anymore. Jeff was moving into a program with MVP, so they were working through their chemistry in the ring with a few practice matches. Yet Adam still had to wrestle him almost twice a week, and came out of every match having sustained a few stiff blows from my best friend. I wasn't exactly sure what Jeff Hardy I would find when I saw him Sunday.

"Nami, are you okay?" Denise asked, breaking through my thoughts. "You seem... seem a little distant."

"Huh?" I responded subconsciously, as I shook my head to figuratively get my head out of my drama-filled clouds. "Sorry, I was just thinking about what you guys said."

I didn't want to burden them with all the details of my current personal life. They were kind enough to indulge me in this. Besides, neither woman knew Jeff all that well. And like Adam said, no one really could understand Jeff's mind. I was just now beginning to realize how true those words were.

"Now, there is your problem," Jessica exclaimed with a grin, pulling me back into the present once more. "Don't think so much_. You're happy. He's happy_. That's all that matters."

"Easier said than done," I mumbled under my breath, not wholly speaking just of my fiancé at the moment.

"You should be all smiles. Adam is taking time off for you," Denise grinned, before her lips fell to a slight frown. "Trust me, that is a big gesture on his part."

"He's more injured than he is letting on," I stated, remembering how his arm had acted up a few times over the past few weeks. Adam just joked that it was just getting feeling back from taking so many Batista Bombs the months prior, but I wasn't amused. I knew it was more than that.

"Still... he loves it in that ring," Jessica said with a smile. "It's like his home. More so than either of our husbands."

"I don't know. Jay is..." Denise started before trailing off into a sigh. "Forget it. We're here to have fun, not wallow in our own doubts. Which is seemingly all we have done."

The only doubts we truly _wallowed_ in were mine. I frowned, not wanting to just pass this by. We were trying to all become friends, weren't we? This is what friends did, being there for each other with advice , a shoulder to cry on, or to just listen.

"What's wrong?" I asked cautiously, knowing how private both Jay and Denise kept their personal affairs. "Is everything okay with you and Jay?"

"I guess. He's... just really thinking about going back... back to the WWE," Denise replied after a few hesitations. She looked between myself and Jessica, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm just not sure if I am strong enough for it. I've gotten so used to him always being around, you know?"

"Trust me, I know," Jessica replied sardonically, the sides of her lips perking up to the smallest of smiles. "When Chris took his few years off, it was amazing. He still did a lot of things... Fozzy, some acting gigs... but he didn't have the constant grind that he had when he wrestled. But the pull was just too strong and now look at him."

"I don't know how you do it," Denise quickly stated before I could open my mouth to speak. "Three kids and a husband who is always away."

"It's not easy," Jessica answered, as I sunk back into my chair. Once again, I felt out of place. "But he _is _an amazing father and really makes up for the time he is away. He loves what he does. I would never make him choose because I see how much happiness he gets from it."

"Jay hasn't been happy for quite some time... professionally, I mean," Denise said with a sigh. "I think he misses the WWE atmosphere. There is a huge difference between the two companies in that regard."

Silence fell over the three of us. I was unsure if I really should contribute to this conversation. I had been dating Adam for over a year (even when our half year break was taken into account), but wasn't acclimated to the lifestyle yet. These two women had lived it for almost a decade. And it was troubling to see that they were still having problems with things. No wonder I still had doubts.

"Have you talked to him about what you are feeling?" I asked tentatively.

"Whenever we talk about it, we fight," Denise hastily seethed. "Better leaving some things unsaid, I think. His contract isn't up for another few months. We still have time to work things through."

"He's going to go back," Jessica mused. "Trust me, _I know_."

I watched as the two women shared another private expression. I needed to get out of this, if only for a few moments. I rose from my chair and walked over to where the blondes were seated on the sofa. I reached down and grasped their empty bottles in my hands.

"I'll get us another round," I said softly, forcing a smile on my face as I turned and left for the kitchen.

I had to blame myself for making things so tense and awkward between the three of us. I let my own problems and insecurities ruin the night. I didn't even want to think of how I was going to explain things to Adam. _We had a great time, even though we spent a lot of time talking about your past marriages._ I am sure that would go over well with my fiancé.

I set the three empty bottles down on the counter before opening the refrigerator to grab three more. The cool air washed over me and helped clear my head. I needed to try and acclimate myself to everything this life had to offer. Sure, Denise and Jessica weren't Danielle and Steven, but they were people I could consider my friends. I just needed to give it a chance and not let my nervousness get the better of me. I was a wallflower at heart, but knew that I needed to try and come out of my shell. Even though they were slightly older than me, there was no reason to be so uncomfortable around them.

I shut the door to the refrigerator and picked up the bottle opener. After all three caps were off, I slowly walked back to the sitting room. As I got closer, I heard the blondes in hushed conversation. I hung outside the entranceway for a few moments, not listening to their muted conversation, but wondering if I should intrude. I shrugged off the nervous feelings and stepped back into the room with a smile on my lips.

I handed each blonde a bottle and they quickly brought it to their lips. I retook my seat across the way and did the same. Silence once again pervaded over us. I was unsure of what to say. I didn't know if we still wanted to talk about our personal problems. I know I really didn't. I had enough for the night.

"So, what are you and Adam planning on doing during his time off?" Jessica asked with a grin, breaking through the tense atmosphere. "Do some relaxing... some traveling... some _eloping_?"

"Funny," I muttered, taking a swig of beer from my own bottle.

"Have you set a date yet?" Denise asked, causing me to almost choke on my beer in surprise.

"We haven't really discussed the actual ceremony plans," I replied with a shrug. It was true: even though I was now living with Adam, we really hadn't planned what the future held. The actual act of getting married was never discussed unless jokingly. "We're still working through some of our past problems before we really seriously discuss the future."

"The past is the past. I say you two just take the plunge already," Jessica interjected with a wave of her hand. "It will save you a lot of restless nights and self-doubt. You know what your heart wants. _Just take it_."

"Hate to say that I agree, but I do," Denise said with a small smile. "I really think time will be your enemy."

"You think Adam will have second thoughts?" I asked quickly, looking at both women with wide eyes.

"Not Adam: _you_," Jessica answered with a laugh.

"That's ridiculous," I said with a frown.

"Really? I think it makes a lot of sense," Denise replied honestly. I shook my head, and opened my mouth to respond, but she quickly continued. "_You _think too much with your head. _Adam_ thinks too much with his heart..."

"I would have said his dick, but..." Jessica muttered with a grin.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, picking up an accent pillow from the floor and tossing it at her in jest. All three of us broke into laughter and it seemed like her comment helped further alleviate the tension in the room. I smiled, taking another sip from my bottle.

"You both need to stop all of the thinking and just feel," Denise said gently. "Your relationship will be better for it."

"You're probably right," I answered with a nod. I was unsure if I really wanted to open up about my own feelings. The only one I really spoke to about these types of things was Danielle... who was back in New York. I sighed and realized that maybe I just needed to let go and embrace what I had in front of me. "It's just... I've _never_ felt like this about anyone before. _Adam has_. It's just hard for me to get over sometimes."

"That's because you are young," Denise quickly answered. I rose my brow in confusion, but she quickly continued. "When Adam was your age, I didn't exactly know him yet, but I know he didn't even understand what love meant. When Jay and I got together, he couldn't grasp what his best friend was feeling. He had never felt that deep of a connection for anyone outside of his family. Now, he has had past relationships, yes, but they have made him the man you love. The man he was when Alanah married him was not the Adam you are marrying. Same goes for Lisa. The man you love is the _Adam Copeland_ that _all _of those experiences - _good and bad_ - created."

Jessica nodded her head in agreement. I took in Denise's words and realized that she was right. Adam was a different man now, and I had to thank his past for it. No one ever said Adam was a bad guy (Hardy brothers excluded), but the man I loved was a more mature and developed Adam Copeland. The man he was when he married Alanah had evolved into my fiancé - the love of my life.

"Thanks," I replied with a solemn smile as I continued to be lost in my own thoughts. "I think I needed that."

The three of us sat seemingly lost in our own thoughts for a few moments. I was just running over Denise's words and how much they really made sense. I was around Adam's age when he first met his first wife. The feelings I was feeling, I am sure he must have felt them at one time. Yet now, he was long since evolved from that state of being. My lack of experience in this area was never really brought into conversation. I always harped on Adam's past, when it was my inexperience as well that scared me. The combination of both didn't seem like a good match, but we needed to try and make it work.

"How was it meeting Adam's mom?"

I focused my gaze on Jessica as my mind processed her question.

"That sort of came out of nowhere," Denise said with a grin, vocalizing my thoughts exactly. Jessica just shrugged and turned her attention back to me.

"We met almost a month before Wrestlemania this year," I answered, figuring that since earlier she had told me of how she first met Chris, I could share an anecdote with her as well. "Adam had just gotten back from an overseas tour and thought that since he was given a rare weekend off, it would be the perfect time for me and his mother to meet."

"Was it?" Jessica asked, ostensibly interested in the account.

I took a deep breath and recalled the memories of that day. It was a rainy cold day in New York and our flight to Toronto was delayed. I took that as a sign that we should stay home and do the meeting another time. Yet Adam was adamant that we meet before Wrestlemania. His mother always attended and he wanted us to have some sort of relationship before that week. Wrestlemania week was stressful enough just anticipating your match, nevertheless having to worry about other personal matters.

I just wasn't sure if I was really ready to meet her. Adam and I had only been back together for a few months. None of my family had seen him since our reconnection. I wasn't ready for those reintroductions yet... meaning I _certainly_ wasn't ready to meet Judy Copeland.

* * *

_Saturday February 23, 2008  
1:37 PM - Toronto Pearson International Airport_

"_Come on, beautiful. We are already late."_

_I glared at my boyfriend as he quickly grabbed my suitcase from the luggage carousel in front of us. Adam was already walking toward the glass doors heading toward the outside of the parking garage and didn't see my indignant look. I sighed and scuffed my feet as I followed a few paces behind._

"_That was the plane's fault," I muttered more to myself than the man walking in front of me._

_Adam slowed his pace so we could walk side by side. He gave me a reassuring smile as he continued to pull both of our suitcases closer and closer to the exit of the airport. He was given the weekend off because the Smackdown roster had just come back from a two week tour of Latin America. The talent needed a few days to relax and unwind... and Adam thought that that meant it would be the perfect time to have one of the most important introductions of my life: I was finally going to meet his mother._

_Judy Copeland had raised her son on her own. Adam never knew his father, never even saw a photograph of the man. And even though it might have angered him when he was younger, he didn't care to know the man anymore. He never needed him in his life as his mother showed him more than enough love. He didn't exactly always respond in kind, somewhat embarrassed that his mother had to work two jobs just to support a meager lifestyle. Yet as he grew of age, he realized how much his mother did for him. Just from hearing him talk about her, I knew that she was definitely a great woman who would do anything for her son._

_And that just made me all the more nervous..._

"_My mother is going to love you," Adam soothed, as if he could actually see my mind running in circles of apprehension. "Stop worrying."_

_His words could not set my mind at ease as we walked outside into the cold Canadian air. I pushed my mitten-clad hands into my pockets and shot Adam a troubled frown. He couldn't understand how important this was to me. I needed to make a good first impression, as I was sure that she already had some motherly intuition that I wasn't exactly right for her son. Not only was I ten years his junior, I also started the relationship based on a lie._

"_It's not like I am exactly the perfect girlfriend over here," I said, vocalizing my doubts to Adam for the hundredth time in the past few days. "I mean, I lied to you at the beginning of our relationship and..."_

"_Yeah, but never about how you felt," he interrupted, giving me a heartwarming smile that made me forget all about the cold weather around us. However, it didn't do anything to quell my nervousness as we continued walking to the parking garage._

"_Ugh, you make it seem like we have never had any problems," I muttered, looking down at my leather boots in apprehension of what was to come._

"_I am well aware of our past and so is she," he replied as I refused to lift my gaze from the pavement. I heard him sigh and watched at the wheels of the suitcases came to a halt. I felt his fleece glove grasp onto my arm as he pulled me into an embrace. "All relationships have bumps in the road."_

"_Yeah, but our bumps are more like Himalaya sized mountains," I mumbled into his coat, pulling my hands from my pockets to return the embrace. _

_His heat warmed my body and I never wanted to let go. I would be happy to just stay here for awhile... forget about everything and just be with him. But I knew that that could never happen. This was just as important if not more so for Adam. He had wanted me to meet his mother for almost a year now and it was finally going to come into fruition._

_Adam pulled back enough to press his lips to mine. I groaned as my lips quickly parted and allowed his tongue entrance. My arms wound around his neck, fingers itching to run through his silky locks but hindered by the knitted beanie that graced his head. Yet before I could truly get lost in our warm embrace, he pulled away, grinning from ear to ear as he grasped the suitcases once more and began to walk anew. I glowered at his retreating form before quickly trying to catch up._

_We walked through a few lines of parked cars, heading toward the drop-off/pick-up area of the garage. I was trying my best to try and get my mind off of the moment at hand, but nothing worked. I was stuck with the same circling thoughts racing through my brain. Some of those thoughts managed to slip out of my lips._

_"Did she like your past partners?"_

_My question earned laughter from my boyfriend. He spared me a humorous glance, as it seemed like he couldn't believe that I was still harping on the issue._

_"_My 'past partners_'?" Adam asked with a laugh, making fun of the terminology. I didn't know how else to describe it, considering I was talking about more than just his two wives. Amy was just as big a part of his past as they were. "Yes, and she'll like you the same."_

"_Like or love?" I asked, causing more laughter from the man next to me._

"_Stop stressing out," he exclaimed through laughter. "You're beginning to make me nervous."_

"_She is the most important person in your life," I explained. "I want to make a good first impression."_

"_You will," Adam said, sighing as he stopped walking and the bags screeching to a halt next to him. I stopped a foot away and met his grinning gaze. "Was I this stressed when I met the Shepherd clan?"_

"_No, but…"_

"_No, that's the right answer," Adam stated before I could finish my own declaration. _

"_But this is different!" I exclaimed, waving my arms subconsciously in the air for effect. Adam sighed and reached up, tugging his beanie further down on his head. He looked around the area before returning his slightly frustrated gaze to me._

"_Care to enlighten me on how?" he asked with a hint of a frown making its way to his lips._

"_You're charming," I answered gesturing to him, which erased his frustration and made way for a huge grin. I moved my extended hand back to myself. "I'm just… awkward."_

_Adam reached out and pulled me to him. He brought his fleece covered hands to either side of my face, making our eyes lock with one another. He shook his head, a smile perched on his lips, as he leant down and lightly kissed my own. He pulled back just as quick, a twinkle in his green irises that was slightly able to calm my nerves._

"_I don't want to hear another pessimistic word from you on the subject," he whispered, patting both of my cheeks with his hands before returning them to his side. His gaze then rose from my face and a smirk formed on his face. "Come on, Jay's here."_

_I turned over my shoulder just in time to see a car pull up next to us on the sidewalk. With the engine still running, the blond Canadian popped out of the driver's side with a big smile on his face. It was quickly reciprocated as I waved at him like a crazy fangirl. I couldn't help myself as I hadn't seen the blond in almost two months. He was certainly a sight for sore eyes._

"_Hey bro, how was the flight?" Jay asked Adam as the two shared a brotherly embrace._

"_Fine, even though I think Nam left her sensibility up in the clouds," he answered, before ruffling my hair and heading toward the trunk of the car, bags in tow._

"_At least she got on the plane," Jay responded to his friend with a laugh, before turning his attention to me. "What happened to _'coffin with wings'_?"_

"_Cute," I muttered as I was pulled into a hug. I was still trying to live down my slightly hysterical ranting about not wanting to fly during the WWE's European Tour. Jay was one of the main reasons I couldn't. He loved to bring it up, and I allowed it only because there were worse things I had done that could have been mentioned. "Hello sexy."_

"_Why do you continue to call him that?" Adam gruffly asked as I lightly kissed Jay on his stubbled cheek._

"_Have you taken a look at him?" I answered as I turned around gesturing to his best friend with a lovesick expression on my face. Jay laughed and pulled me back to him, kissing me lightly on my lips earning a groan from my boyfriend._

"_I'm beginning to feel quite unloved," he mumbled as he slammed the trunk shut. _

_I detangled myself from Jay's hold and into the arms of my blond Canadian. I was quickly squashed between both best friends as Jay came behind me while yelling "_Nami Sandwich_!" I pushed back against him, but Jay was much too strong. Both of them held the hold for what seemed like an eternity even though it was probably only a few moments, before letting me go. I caught my breath as Adam opened the backseat door. He was about to climb in, but I brushed past him, gesturing to the front seat._

_I was happy about my decision as the whole car ride was spent with the two men in the front talking about hockey and me in the back dreading what was to come. I wanted to meet his mother, but wasn't sure if I was ready for it. First impressions meant a lot, and I was convinced that mine was already set in stone. How couldn't she already have an opinion of me with all that had transpired between Adam and I?_

_We pulled up in front of what I assumed to be our destination way too quickly. I took a few deep breaths as I looked out at the two-story home outside of my window. Adam said his goodbyes to Jay before opening his door and heading out into the cold winter air. I was quite comfortable in the warm car and snuggled back into my leather seat, even as Adam opened the door next to me. I refused to undo my seatbelt and pulled my coat closer to my body to keep warm from the now cold air coming into the car._

_"You are going to have to get out some time," Jay said with a grin, as he turned around in his seat. _

_I pouted at him, but it had little effect on the blond. He turned back around and fiddled with his phone as I felt my arm being tugged from outside. I turned and watched as Adam continued to try and pull me out of the car._

_"Don't break the belt," Jay exclaimed from the front as he watched the two of us struggle through his mirror. "Or you are paying the rental fees."_

_I huffed as I undid the seatbelt and allowed Adam to tug me out of the backseat. He waved to Jay before slamming the door shut. He rolled both bags up the walk toward the front stoop. I looked on from my position near the curb. A loud honk from behind startled me and I jumped a few paces away. I looked back as Jay grinned before driving down the street._

_I slowly made my way up the walk and steps. I took a deep breath as I walked past Adam as he held the door open. I looked around at the cozy home and felt the butterflies begin to churn in my stomach. I subconsciously took a step back, right into my boyfriend's massive form. He wound his arms around my waist, letting his chin fall on the top of my head. _

_"Home sweet home," he mused, as I continued to try and not freak out. Adam tried to move us forward, but I stayed rooted to my spot. "Come on, don't be nervous."_

_He pushed by me, letting the bags rest at the bottom of the stairs up to the second floor. He walked further into the house, but I stayed near the entranceway trying to get up my nerve. I never had to do this before... I never was this serious about a guy before. I just didn't know how to act, what to say, how to respond..._

_"Ma! You here?"_

_I slowly followed Adam down the hallway and toward the main living area of the house. He was looking into a few rooms as I took in my surroundings. The house was quaint and cozy, sort of reminded me of the house I grew up in. I knew Adam took great pride in this house, as it was his first major purchase with his money from his WWF contract. He had always promised himself he would buy his mother a house, and when he was actually able to achieve it, he said it was a moment he would have with him for the rest of his life._

_"She must be out," Adam said as he came back into the kitchen area. "Probably walking the dogs."_

_I nodded my head and looked out of the window, while leaning against the kitchen counter. Just as I was about to fully calm myself back to some semblance of normal, the front door opened and slammed shut. I closed my eyes and gathered my thoughts, running over what I would say. Nothing sounded right, but I couldn't exactly worry about that now. I heard the footsteps approaching and opened my eyes just as the newcomer entered the room._

_"Hey, man," Jay said, patting Adam on the back as he grabbed an apple from the bowl on the counter. I glared at the blond as he took a bite of the fruit, raising his brow at me in amusement. He turned his attention to my amused boyfriend as I tried to calm my heart rate. "Just got a call from my little bro. Wants to know if we can help move his..."_

_"You are doing this on purpose," I exclaimed, looking between the two blonds in frustration._

_"I am not," Adam quickly retorted, before looking at his best friend. "Does he really need the help?"_

_"Ma's going to flip if he doesn't get the stuff out of their garage," Jay explained as he took another bite of his apple."He's been putting it off for months now. Since I'm up, he has no excuse that he can't move the shit."_

_Jay grinned at me as he continued with his apple. I shook my head at him, looking up into my boyfriend's content eyes._

_"Fine, but I am going with you," I said, picking my purse up off of the counter and heading toward the hallway. Adam reached out his arms and stopped me._

_"No, you are staying here," he said sternly. I tried to interject, but he shook his head and continued. "We are already a few hours late thanks to the delay. My Ma won't bite. The dogs might, but..."_

_"Adam," I whined, but knew that I wasn't going to win. Jay shot me a wave before walking back down the hallway toward the front door._

_"We'll be back in a half hour tops," Adam said as he leaned down to kiss me. I moved away in annoyance and his lips grazed my cheek. He sighed and headed toward the hallway. "Just be yourself and she'll love you."_

_He blew me a kiss cheekily, but I just turned my back on him. I heard the door shut and I slammed my purse down on the counter once more, but this time in anger._

_"He _so_ did this on purpose," I muttered to myself as I paced the floor of the kitchen. _

_I opened my pea coat as I leaned against the counter. I couldn't understand Adam's reason behind this. Was I just imagining things, or was this all a set-up? He really couldn't have planned this... could he? It didn't really matter anymore. I was left alone to meet his mother. The most important introduction of my life and I had to do it by myself... and I knew I was going to fuck it up._

_I didn't have to wait long as I heard the door open once more. This time, instead of footsteps, loud dog barks pierced the air. I watched as a few dogs trotted into the kitchen and spotted me. A large husky ran over and I pressed myself further against the marble countertop._

_"Nice dogs," I mumbled as another came over and started to lick my hand. "That's good. Don't bite."_

_"So this is the Nami I have heard so much about."_

_I continued to stare at the four eyes of the dogs in front of me as I was frozen in my spot by the voice that spoke out. I took a deep breath as the dogs retreated. I had to convince myself that this was really happening as my gaze rose and fell upon the older blonde woman a few feet away._

_"Hi," I squeaked out, nervously shifting from foot to foot. I decided I needed to respond with a better introduction, but the muddled mess of words that came from my mouth were anything but. "Um, yeah... I mean, yes, that's me. I'm Nami... Nami Shepherd."_

_"Judy Copeland," she said with a laugh as she extended her hand._

_I looked down at my hands and realized, to my embarrassment, that they were still encased in my mittens. I tried my best to keep from turning red as I pulled the wool from my skin and shoved them into my coat pocket. I rubbed my sweaty palm on the fabric of my coat before reaching out to grasp her hand._

_"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Copeland," I said sheepishly, trying my best to keep my composure._

_"Please, call me Judy," she replied with a grin as we let our hands slip free. I nodded my head in response as she turned away from me, shrugging off her heavy down coat. "Flight delayed, I take it?"_

_"Yeah, sorry we didn't call. We both forgot to charge our phones last night and..."_

_"It's no problem," she replied, cutting off my rambling. I took a deep breath, as turned back around with a smile on her lips. "I know how my son is with technology. I think I am more adept at it than he is."_

_"You are probably right about that," I said, a nervous chuckle finding its way out of my lips._

_"Speaking of Adam..."_

_"He is helping Jay move some of his brother's stuff out of his parents' place," I replied before she could finish her statement. She looked at me like I had grown an extra head before laughing. I furrowed my brow in confusion, but kept quiet, still not comfortable with my surroundings or current host._

_"Uh-huh," she replied flatly. "And you believed them?"_

_"Well, not really at first, but Adam said..."_

_I hadn't finished speaking before laughter spilled from her lips. I felt my cheeks blush in awkwardness as she continued. This really wasn't going as I had hoped, even though when I pictured this meeting, my boyfriend was by my side. Never for the life of me did I think I would be going through this alone. _

_"My son... got to love him," she said with a grin on her face. "He has pulled things like this before."_

_"You mean..."_

_"And when you put those two blonds together? All you get is trouble," she mused, interrupting me from asking my question. "_Loveable trouble,_ but trouble all the same."_

_"They said they'd be back in a half hour," I said sheepishly, pulling at the sleeves of my coat in nervousness._

_"I bet they are sitting in front of a television somewhere watching a hockey game," she said, smiling ear from ear as she thought of her son. I had to smile, but the butterflies just wouldn't leave. No matter how much my brain was telling me to let loose and calm down, my body couldn't respond. " Just a guess, but I doubt we'll be seeing either of them for awhile."_

_"He's done this before?" I choked out._

_"Not exactly," she replied. "But I am really not surprised at this arrangement he set up. He wants us to get comfortable with each other, and not just because I am your boyfriend's mother. He doesn't want to feel like he is in the way of us starting a relationship of our own."_

_"Oh," I mumbled, smiling nervously. _

_She grabbed her coat and motioned to me, gesturing to the coat that was still on my form. I peeled off my pea coat and extended it to her as she walked out of sight. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. So I had made a complete blithering idiot out of myself... that was nothing new. The blame was not solely my own this time though. It was Adam's as well. He should have never left me to do this by myself, no matter how good his intentions were. _

_"So how was the flight?"_

_I opened my eyes and saw that Adam's mother had reentered the room. She pulled out a chair at the kitchen table before taking a seat in one herself. I walked over and sat down, all the while formulating a comprehensible response._

_"Once we got in the air, it was fine," I said with a sheepish laugh. "Weather was horrible in New York this morning though."_

_"Yeah, I was surprised you two even got out," she replied with a nod, before rising from her seat. "You thirsty?"_

_"I'm fine, Mrs. Copeland... I mean, _Judy_," I mumbled, before looking down at my clenched hands in my lap._

_"Just relax," she said, placing a hand on my shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze before heading toward the refrigerator. "You're acting like you have never done this before."_

_"I sort of haven't," I replied honestly, trying my best to get more comfortable. I figured that opening up about the reason for my nervousness would help. "My only other serious relationship was one I started in high school. I had known his parents most of my schooling life to begin with so there wasn't any of... this."_

_"Only one other relationship?" she asked, coming back over to the table with a bottle of water in her hand. _

_"I was with Caleb for years," I said with a nod of my head. "And after him, I just was concentrating on other things. My schooling, my career... Love never really crossed my mind until..."_

_I drifted off with a smile. She nodded a grin on her face and I knew that I didn't need to finish my statement. She understood about whom I was speaking. She took a sip from her bottle before asking me a question that did little to quell my anxiety._

_"When did you know you were in love with my son?"_

_I was glad I had declined the offer for a drink or it would have been spit out across the expanse of the table. It seemed like a pretty personal question for two people who hardly knew each other. Yet the more I thought of it, I honestly couldn't blame her for wondering. From all she must have heard about me, I knew that she would have some questions about my intentions._

_"I knew I was falling in love with him shortly after we really met," I said with a shrug. "But when did I honestly know in my heart that I was in love..."_

_I thought back on our relationship. Believe it or not, my nerves seemed to quell as I thought about our courtship. How we were barley even friends at first... how he seemed to be the one who was going to be my downfall, yet in the end turned out to be my savior. He was the one who really broke through my shell and got me to realize what being in love really meant._

_"At first, I thought it was Thanksgiving night, after he had met my family for the first time," I said with a smile. She responded in kind and much of the lingering nervousness fled my body. "Everything just seemed so right. But I didn't even know what being in love meant until later on in our relationship."_

_I continued to think back on my relationship with Adam. Our _first time_ together, our first fight... but what really stuck out was one moment. A chilly night in New Jersey when I knew that I wouldn't survive without him in my life._

_"When Adam told me that he loved me for the first time, I knew it was real," I said, remembering all of the details of that night. I could still see his gleaming eyes in the moonlight and it made the smile grow even more on my lips. "But I was so scared that I was going to lose him because of my story that I really couldn't enjoy it."_

_"You never had to worry about that," Judy said with a smile. "You have my son's heart and have had it for quite some time. He never spoke one ill word about you to me, even when he could have."_

_"Even when he _should _have, you mean," I said, slightly shocked that Adam hadn't ever told her anything disparaging about me. It made my heart flutter to think that maybe I hadn't caused as much damage as I thought._

_"You are too hard on yourself," Judy said, reaching out to take one of my hands in hers. "In some weird way, I think what happened between you two has just brought you closer together. You both have seen what life without each other would be and obviously didn't like it so much."_

_She patted my hand before rising. I smiled and looked down at the table. Maybe I really had gotten myself so worked up over nothing. I hoped that this would be my first and last _meeting of the parents_, and at least I survived. Adam's mother was everything that I thought she would be, and I had to shake my head at getting so worked up. The butterflies were still there, but not as raging as before. I didn't know what she truly thought of me, but at least I knew that I didn't have to do damage control. Well, only slightly to make up for my earlier awkwardness._

_"So, how about we continue getting to know each other while making these cookies I've been meaning to bake?"_

_I turned around and watched as she pulled out a bowl of chilled dough from the refrigerator. She placed the glass bowl on the marble table and I smiled. Chocolate chip... Adam's favorite. He always said that nothing could beat his mother's baking and it seemed that she knew that as well. _

_"I don't know if he deserves a reward for his behavior," I mumbled as I stood to join her near the oven._

_"He never does," she replied with a laugh, spooning out a dollop of dough from the bowl. "But one look at that face, how can you resist?"_

_"You can't."_

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Please Review!

**Next Chapter: _Summerslam_ - **_Adam's final match before his break and Nami tries once more to speak to Jeff about their relationship. _


	11. It's Gonna Be Rain

A.N. - Normal Disclaimer... I do not own WWE and its associated Superstars. To everyone who has read, added, and reviewed, _tanky tanky_. Most love to my wonderful reviewers - **Kris21xX**, **I'll miss you Edge**, **moxxie23 (ResplendentAnarchist),** and** Rainbowbrite006**. You all make writing this a pleasure and give me the drive to continue.

Sorry it took _so long_ to update - a** whole month**, I can hardly believe it. Besides the fact that I now spend way too much time on_ tumblr_ now for my own good, this chapter was hard to write for a few reasons. Probably after reading, you'll know why. _Happy reading_! :-)

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Sunday August 17, 2008 (Summerslam)  
7:03 PM - Conseco Fieldhouse: Indianapolis, IN

"So you _really_ aren't going to tell me what happens?"

"Nope. You are just going to have to wait and see."

I groaned at my fiancée as he made a show of chewing on his gum with a smirk on his face. I shoved him lightly in the side and rose from my seat. Summerslam was less than an hour away from going live. Adam's match was scheduled last on the card. I could hardly believe it, but it was finally here - _Adam's last match_... well, _last match_ for _a few months_. Still, it was odd to know that come tomorrow morning he was on the inactive roster list. He was coming home to stay. For the first time, we were going to have some sense of normalcy in our relationship. That thought alone was enough to bring a small smile to my lips.

Yet that fact wasn't enough to quell all of the nervous energy bubbling inside of me. Adam's last match just happened to be a Hell in a Cell match - a type of a match that he had never been a part of. Adam liked to tell me that that fact wasn't necessarily true if the match between the Undertaker and the Big Boss Man at Wrestlemania XV was counted. He was a member of the Brood and had helped Undertaker hang Boss Man from the cage all the while hanging from the rafters in a safety harness. I didn't understand it when he told me, but remembered reading in his book how it wasn't the best experience. It was the first Wrestlemania he was a part of so the memories still stuck and were cherished.

The Undertaker had been in his first TLC match a few months prior and it was now Adam's turn to wrestle in his adversary's celebrated favorite style of match. This was the true blow off of their feud - one that had truly begun over a year ago when Adam had cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase on an ailing Taker. That night was bittersweet for both of us as it was the only time we had communication with each other during my time in hiding. One phone call was all we truly had to live on for months. It was quite a weird connection between this feud and our personal life. But now, we were engaged and about to spend months in each other's company. I was still amazed every day about how things had turned out.

"Can you at least give me a hint?" I asked the blond, jutting out my bottom lip in pout. He chuckled but just shook his head. "_Please_?"

"Beautiful, don't worry so much," Adam replied, reaching out to pull me down and onto his lap. He pressed a light kiss to my temple, pulling back with a smile on his lips. "Mark and I have talked over all the major points. We have gone over the ending many times to make sure it is right."

"I know, but..."

"But you are still paranoid that something is going to happen," he said, finishing my statement for me. He sighed and reached up to run one hand through his hair. "So what if I did tell you? Would it stop you from worrying?"

"No," I mumbled with a small grin. "I just want to be able to take you home in one - not so overly damaged - piece."

"_Overly damaged_?" Adam repeated with a grin.

"Well, we both know that you aren't exactly going in the healthiest," I mused with a shrug, prompting the man under me to laugh. "It's _not funny_. Your arm has been acting up more than before, and..."

"_And_ that is one of the reasons I am taking some time off," Adam said after placing his hand over my mouth to halt my words. He let his hand drop only when he thought I wouldn't respond. "I have been in this company for over a decade. I know my own limits."

"Says the man who put off neck surgery for months after a diagnosis," I muttered under my breath, trying to pull myself up off of his lap.

"It wasn't months and you know it," Adam replied with a smile, as he held me tight to him. "Weeks maybe; a month tops."

I sighed in defeat and looked around the area. The commissary was still quite busy, even though the show was to begin soon. There were pockets of people who seemed more relaxed: a once again injured Randy Orton was talking with some of the newest additions to the WWE roster at one table. He lifted his head and shot me nod before falling back into discussion with his companions. I scanned over a few more tables, but soon I was thrown into darkness.

"What's up, bitches?"

The warm pressure of his hand fell from my eyes as a suit-clad Chris Jericho came from behind our chair. He slapped Adam lightly on the back of his head before reaching out and tugging at my hair playfully. I chuckled at his behavior, shaking my head as I couldn't believe that this man was thirteen years my senior. The blond kicked out a chair and took a seat, a grin plastered on his lips.

"You all set for your match tonight?" Adam asked with a smirk, before jokingly smacking himself in the head. "Oh that's right. You don't have one."

Both Adam and I laughed as Chris pretended to pout, but his grin quickly found its way back to his lips. Chris was in a program with Shawn Michaels. I hadn't been watching much of the shows, especially Raw since Adam was on the other brand, but I knew that their work was getting some praise. Tonight, neither man was going to be wrestling. Shawn was going to be making an announcement - that he was "retiring" because of doctor's orders. Everybody knew that that wasn't happening, not when the feud was still so hot.

"Normally, I would tell you how my promo will be the most entertaining thing on the card," Chris started with faux arrogance, mimicking the action of polishing his nails on the lapel of his suit. "But I know you and Mark are going to blow the roof off the place tonight."

"Thanks, man," Adam said, reaching over to slap hands with his friend.

I rolled my eyes at their exchange and surveyed the area once more. Frantic energy pervaded over the whole commissary now. Minutes were continuing to tick away and everyone was getting ready for the show that was considered the second biggest event of the year for the company. Everything was being checked and double checked to make sure the show went off perfectly... well, as _perfect_ as a live professional wrestling event could get. My eyes kept wandering around the expansive space until they locked on a certain Smackdown wrestler. He was talking with Michael Hayes and Alvin, as I figured they were going over last instructions for the match tonight. Jeff Hardy versus MVP was to open the televised pay-per-view.

A few moments later, the small congregation broke up after Jeff slapped hands with his storyline adversary. He turned and caught my eye. I smiled, but his expression stayed as even and blank as when I had briefly seen him before. I hardly got a greeting out when he stormed off down the hall. Adam tried his best at the time to say that Jeff just had a lot on his mind, but we both knew better. There was definitely something going on in his mind when it came to our relationship and I intended to find out what.

I rose up off of Adam's lap, but before I could head over to him, Jeff quickly slipped out of the doorway and into the hallway. I shook my head and started out after him, sparing my fiancée a wave before disappearing as well. I watched Jeff's retreating form and hastily tried to catch up. When I turned the corner, I bumped right into his form as he had stopped, almost as if he was lying in wait out of sight. He moved to lean against the concrete wall, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I have a match I need to get ready for," he grumbled, looking off to the side to escape my questioning gaze.

"I just want to talk with you," I replied pleadingly. "We can do it now or after your match - I don't care. I just... I want my friend back."

"_Your friend_?" he seethed, his eyes finally finding my own, his piercing irises sending a chill down my spine. "Were we ever friends, _Nami_?"

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded that he would even suggest such a thing. I looked at him as if he was certifiably insane, seeing that his mindset had only worsened in the few weeks since my visit to Cameron. The fact that he also used my full name was another sign that this conversation was probably doomed before it even truly began. "Of course we are friends. That is why I can't understand..."

"If anyone _can't understand_ something, it is _me_ not understanding _you_," Jeff interrupted, his arms falling to his sides as he pushed off of the wall and came to stand a few inches from me. "Labels never bothered you before. _Friend, best friend, boyfriend, fiancé_... none of that shit mattered to you. You were happy just being you, having different types of relationships with people without really having to define them."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I said, shaking my head in absolute confusion and dismay. The venom in which his tone was laced was so foreign to my ears. Even in Cameron, it wasn't _this_ bad. Now, his normal charming Southern drawl was full malevolence and spite.

"I found it inspiring that you could see me as your soulmate, but share your bed with another man," Jeff continued, as he reached out and lightly grasped my hand in his. My mouth fell open to retort, but no words came as he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the flesh they found. "I saw it as deep and profound. You didn't care about conventions and just let your heart guide you. You respected my situation, but couldn't let me go."

"That's not... what do you..." Both of my questions died in my throat as I looked into his eyes. I couldn't understand any of this. Sure, I had thought of him as my _soulmate_ once upon a time, but things had changed. And even if that was still valid, it didn't mean that we belonged together... just that we were linked. "Jeff, when I said that, I was confused. My mind wasn't in the right place and..."

I trailed off when I saw his eyes darken at my words. Maybe that wasn't the best way to put things, but I couldn't take back what I said. And _it was true_... my time in the WWE was filled with regret and deceit. I was constantly being pulled in two directions and only now did I understand what my heart truly sought... and that was Adam. I still did love Jeff, but only as a friend. I wished that that would be enough for him, but it didn't seem to be so.

"I want to still be great friends - _best friends_ even - as I know that we still have a deep bond with each other," I said with a smile, as he dropped my hand from his. He walked a few paces away facing the opposite way. I sighed and walked behind him, placing my hand lightly on his shoulder, hoping that I was finally get through to him. "Even though things have changed, I still care about you... as a friend."

"We were never _friends,_" he vented, spinning around so fast that I stumbled backward. Luckily, Jeff had some sense left in him and he was able to reach out and steady me. His gaze softened slightly as he looked down at our once again entwined hands. "Not_ this_ version of Nami, anyway."

I didn't want to press him on his statement, because it was what I had been saying all along. I had changed. I had grown so much through the experiences that I had had in the WWE. It was much more of a maturation period than college had been for me. I was challenged beyond anything I could have ever imagined, both professionally and personally. My relationships with friends and lovers were so much more complex and difficult, but more satisfying. They pushed and pulled me in different directions at times, but I was finally at peace with who I had become.

"I thought that I knew you better than anyone," Jeff murmured, his eyes still downcast refusing to meet my gaze. I was just happy that he wasn't so incensed as before. He seemed to be coming back down to Earth. "I still can't believe you are the same girl that I met almost two years ago. The girl who cared so much that she made me question things that I thought I held true. The girl who forsake her own romantic relationship to fly to Cameron because she thought I was in trouble..."

He trailed off, but his statement caused memories to flash through my mind. My three month anniversary with Adam was spent apart because of a decision I made. I had gone to Cameron to check on an emotional - and _disappearing_ - Jeff Hardy instead of spending the weekend off with Adam. I chose friendship over love and it took awhile for Adam and I to truly put it behind us.

Yet to me, it was now just another example of the point at hand. It was a perfect illustration of the duality that I faced and I didn't really know which way to choose. That day, I had also told Adam for the first time exactly how I felt about him - that I was _in love_ with him. It took months later before he finally uttered the words, but I knew that the feelings on that day were already bubbling inside both of us.

I chose Jeff's friendship over those feelings. At the time, I thought it was because our relationship was stronger. Now, I knew deep in my heart, it was because I was scared that I was moving too fast with Adam, especially considering the circumstances of my employment with the WWE. I just wasn't sure if Jeff would understand that now or if I even had the courage to explain that to him... but I _had to try_. I owed him that much.

"I am still that girl... _in a way_," I said with a small smile, his eyes finally lifting to meet my own. The emerald irises didn't hold as much contempt as before, but still were not as warm as I wished. "I don't regret my decisions from the past, but am looking toward the future. And I want you to be a big part of it, but... I also need you to realize that things between us aren't the same as they once were and can never be again."

"You're wrong," Jeff quickly stated, shaking his head slightly from side to side. "You _have_ changed, but it wasn't your doing. You are just doing the same thing Amy did: changing _yourself _to be with Adam."

"Jeff..."

"No, you might not want to believe it, but it is true," he quickly continued.

"So? What if I am?" I vented, needing to defend my relationship with the man I loved. "At times, you _do_ change to be a better person for your significant other. And if Adam has in some way altered my outlook on life, so be it. The only one who seems to have any problem with me at the moment is _you_: the one person I thought would _never_ let me down."

"I could say the same thing about you," he countered, letting go of my hand and backing away from me. "I remember you getting angered at me because of the fact that our relationship was changing. You were mad because I promised you that things between us would _always_ be the same. Yet now, you are the one whose _'changing._' You are the one who is destroying what we have."

"That is not true!" I exclaimed, raising my hands over my head in exasperation. In our whole relationship, this was the first time I had ever been this frustrated and angered by him. It was the first time I had ever really raised my voice to him. "None of this is anybody's fault. Things just have changed for better or worse and you need to accept it. I have!"

"Yo Jeff! We're needed at the Gorilla."

Both Jeff and I turned to see Alvin leaning against the corner, slightly out of breath. I was happy that he mustn't have witnessed much of our exchange. I didn't really need gossip to spread, especially when I didn't have the best backstage reputation to begin with. My undercover story still was a point of contention with many people in the company. I watched as Jeff nodded his head at his friend before looking back to me.

"I didn't want to have to say this to you, but you really are leaving me no choice," Jeff muttered as he strolled up alongside of me. He leaned down, putting his hand on my shoulder as we stood side to side and face to face. "Just look at Adam's past and you'll see all you need to know."

"If that is all you have to say, you can..."

"You are just a phase."

* * *

_Monday March 10, 2008  
11:45 PM -Nami's Apartment: New York, NY_

_Another Monday... another Raw broadcast from my small twenty-six inch screen in my apartment. I hadn't been watching as much as I could have been. Normally, I would have it on and only pay attention when something caught my eye. Since it was almost Wrestlemania, I knew that all of my friends were trying their hardest to build up and sell the biggest pay-per-view of the year. They were all at the top of their games and it made for some intriguing television. Especially since tonight was a three-hour broadcast with all three brands..._

_Adam wrestled C.M. Punk tonight and picked up the victory thanks to some interference from his cronies, the Edgeheads. I had briefly met both Matt and Brian after the Royal Rumble and they definitely seemed like nice guys. Adam said that traveling with them _"did his mind good"_ as he felt like he was helping future WWE stars with his knowledge and experience as well as having new friends to help him get through the grind. According to Adam, the whole idea for the Edgeheads was actually their own and they brought it to Adam just on a whim. The ending of the Armageddon title match - with both Ryder and Hawkins being Edge lookalikes to distract Batista - was all the two young wrestlers' idea as well. And a few months later, the storyline with the now aptly titled _La Familia_ was going strong. I was happy to see that their desire was being rewarded._

_Yet it was another match on the card for tonight's Raw that really caught my attention. Jeff had lost his Intercontinental Title to Chris. It was quite a good match, especially for a non pay-per-view show and I was a little shocked that they pulled the belt off of Jeff. He hadn't been defending it that much, but that seemed to be the norm for most of the belts in the company. The top two titles were defended regularly, but all of the others came and went. They seemed more like an award or placeholder given to a wrestler that was doing well or someone that they wanted to push, but not with one of the major belts. With this title change, I figured Chris and Jeff were being scripted for a storyline feud. But having two faces feud with each other never really worked that well... One of them would have to turn heel._

"Excuse the obscene, ignore the untrue.  
Depictions we see, try and get through.  
Admitting mistakes can't hurt..."

_From the tone, I knew that Chris was calling and it caused me to shiver slightly. I wished that that worked for Adam: _think about him and then he calls_. I quickly shook myself from the eerie feeling that had fallen over me and grabbed the device._

_"I was just thinking about you," I said with a laugh as I accepted the call._

_"Might not want to tell Adam that one," Chris replied with a chuckle of his own. "He tends to get quite jealous when his girlfriend fantasizes about other men."_

_"I wasn't _fantasizing _about you," I muttered humorously, knowing that Chris's statement was said only in jest. "I was just thinking about your match with Jeff from Raw. Hell of a match, even though I am slightly surprised that they took the belt off of..."_

_"He's suspended, Nam."_

_"... Jeff."_

_My eyes slightly widened at Chris's admission. At first, I wasn't sure that I had heard him right. He had yet to continue speaking and I tried to process what he had just said. _Jeff was suspended?_ We hadn't really spoken for a month, unless a few random text messages were counted. The WWE was in full swing heading into Wrestlemania and things at Hachette were as busy as ever. I barely had enough time to try and repair and grow my relationship with Adam. Nevertheless, I still counted Jeff as one of my closest friends. If he ever needed me, I had hoped that he would have called._

_"You still there?"_

_"Yeah, sorry... just shocked is all," I muttered quickly into the phone, his query having pulled me from my own thoughts. "So, that's why he dropped the title?"_

_"Yeah, since he can't wrestle for sixty days," Chris said. "He wouldn't..."_

_"Sixty days?" I exclaimed, cutting off Chris's statement. "But that means he's going to miss..."_

_"Wrestlemania, I know," he quickly cut in, returning the favor. "Even if it was his first offense, he would have missed the show. That was the reason they had the test a week ago. Missing Wrestlemania is one of the biggest punishments you could get besides being let go."_

_"Vince isn't going to fire him is he?" I quickly asked, aghast that that could even come into play._

_"If he fails again, he'll have to," Chris replied. "I don't know Jeff all that well, but I know he is not stupid. That's not going to happen. Everyone makes mistakes."_

_"I'm not judging him," I said, not really needing Chris to explain to me the complexities of Jeff and his situation. Sure, Jeff had brought some of the negative publicity on himself, but he had fought off his true drug addiction and should have been praised. But it seemed like this news would just start the clamor of naysayers once more. I knew Jeff was strong; I just hoped he wouldn't let any of it bother him. "I just don't exactly understand the situation."_

_"Well, I'd be no help in that department either," he said with a small chuckle. "I just thought I would let you know before the news broke. They will probably make the announcement tomorrow and I wasn't sure if Jeff would call you before then."_

_"Yeah, thanks," I muttered, still thinking about Jeff's current state of mind. "We haven't really talked as much as we normally have. Maybe I should call him."_

_"Not sure about that one," he replied. "He wasn't in the best of attitudes after our match. Totally understandable, but I might wait 'til tomorrow. But I don't know him like you do. If you think it is best..."_

_"Yeah," I said, already deciding on my course of action. "Thanks Chris."_

_"No problem," he said. "Are you still going down to Florida in a few days?"_

_"I'm leaving early Wednesday, and yes, you _still _have your babysitter for Thursday night," I said quickly with a small laugh. I was going to visit Adam as I knew that he wasn't going to have much time for our relationship over the next few weeks. I was trying my best to make extra strides to help the relationship grow, especially since he had already gone out of his way to visit me every chance he got._

_"That wasn't what I was implying," he muttered coyly. "It'll be good to see you. The Florida sun might help clear up your complexion."_

_"Just because I don't have to spray tan for my job doesn't mean there is anything wrong with my complexion," I shot back humorously. "I'll let you go. You had a big night tonight."_

_"I guess," he muttered playfully. "See you soon, Nam."_

_"You too," I said, trying to sound as upbeat as possible. "Night, Chris."_

_I ended the call and fell back against the cushion of my sofa. I still couldn't believe that Jeff was suspended for failing a drug test. Sure, people say that history repeats itself, but this was the one time that I thought the cycle would've been broken. Jeff seemed so driven to stay clean and I could only imagine what caused him to have a little slip up._

_I debated whether I should heed Chris's advice and not call or go with what my gut was telling me. We might not have been as close as we once were, but I was going to be there for him whether he needed it or not. I wanted to pay him back for all of the times he was there for me._

_I scanned through my contacts and found Jeff's listing. I hit the call button and put the device up to my ear. I groaned when it immediately went to voicemail. I hated leaving messages. I was absolutely horrible at it. I always sounded like a bumbling fool. Besides, I really had wanted Jeff to tell me himself about the news, not having to admit that I heard it from anywhere else._

_"Hey Jeff - it's Nami," I said into the phone, trying my best to keep a cheerful attitude and not give anything away. "I'm just calling to see how you are doing. Great match tonight, by the way... not that_ it's great _that you lost the title. I didn't mean that..."_

_I groaned as I realized that I was rambling. I just had to hope that Jeff would think it was my normal behavior and that nothing was off._

_"So, just give me a call back if you want to talk. Not like there is anything to talk about... everything's fine here. Um... have a good night."_

_I quickly ended the call and tossed my phone to the other side of the sofa. I sighed, letting my head fall back to the top of the cushion. I couldn't let myself become consumed with thoughts for Jeff. We would talk eventually. Besides, I needed to try my best and get some rest. Tonight's Raw had provided a good distraction, but it was time to return to my current world. I had a big meeting tomorrow morning that I needed to be well rested for. I had hardly looked over any of my notes, but knew I could do that on the cab ride downtown in the morning. _

_I went through my nightly routine and settled into bed, setting my alarm for an hour earlier than normal so I knew I wouldn't be late. Besides, I had promised Danielle that we would go over everything a few times at the office before the meeting just to be safe. I grasped my white bear from where he had fallen off the bed and pulled him to my chest. Even after almost a month, the cotton fur still held a slight hint of Adam's cologne. It was just the comfort I needed to fall into the blackness of sleep with a smile on my lips._

_..__**.**_

_I stirred slightly from my sleep, not wanting to open my eyes. Normally, in the morning, I would hit my alarm clock's snooze button multiple times before rising from bed. Yet today, something was off. I blearily opened my eyes and looked to where my clock should have been in my line of vision. Instead, all I saw was black cotton and the telltale signs of chest rising and falling. I lifted my head and caught the emerald gaze that was staring back at me._

_"Mornin', Sleeping Beauty."_

_I pushed up on the mattress, looking groggily at Jeff's grinning face. I maneuvered myself into a lying position next to him, trying my best to stifle a yawn. I had so many thoughts running through my mind, but was still clinging to the last vestiges of sleep. It was hard to truly concentrate. His presence was also quite alarming. I couldn't believe he actually just showed up here, especially _now_. We hadn't even spoken on the phone in almost a month and here he was... in my bed._

_"What are you doing here?" I murmured, rubbing my eyes to try my best to literally wipe the sleep away. "You were in Wisconsin last night."_

_"Caught the red-eye to JFK," he replied with a shrug. "I have a connecting flight to Carolina later, but I figured I would stop by. See how things are going with you."_

_"I told you last night things were fine," I said, stretching my arms over my head._

_"No - your message pretty much told me that things were far from _fine_," Jeff said with a laugh. "So who told you?"_

_"Told me what?" I asked coyly, even though I knew that I had been caught._

_"Meemz," he muttered in a slight mocking tone. "Was it Adam?"_

_"Chris," I replied breathlessly. Jeff just laughed shaking his head. It seemed like he was taking this suspension much better than I thought. "You want to talk about it?"_

_"Not really," he said with a shrug. "I knew I was screwed as soon as the testers showed up at the event. Wasn't a big shock when the news was handed down."_

_"You tell anyone?" I asked, pushing some of my morning-knotted hair from my face._

_"Pop, Matt, and Beth knew," he replied. "Wanted to get all of the _'I'm so disappointed in you'_ bull shit out of the way."_

_"I doubt any of them said that to you," I said with a grin, rising from my bed and heading to my dresser. Now that my mind and body were truly beginning to wake, I knew I needed to get ready for work. Jeff's visit couldn't deter me from getting to the office on time. Today was too important._

_"You're right: they didn't," he said through a smile. "They knew that I was pushing myself a little harder than I should have. I just needed something to take the edge off."_

_"You don't need to explain yourself to me," I murmured, pulling some clean undergarments from my top drawer. "I am just happy that you are in such good spirits. And yes, I was a little worried about you. But not physically."_

_I threw him a comforting smile over my shoulder before heading to my closet. I pulled out a charcoal elbow sleeve, cowl neck sweater dress, that was perfect for such a cold winter day. It was also just the right amount of comfort for someone that was going to have to be on her feet for much of the morning. Not too formal but not too casual either... Staring at the fabric, I debated whether I should dress more formally. Things hadn't been the best at the office the past few weeks and I wanted this to be the tipping point of change. Mr. Williams had been in a permanent bad mood and this meeting needed to go perfectly, or things would only get worse._

_"Why don't you play hooky from work today?" Jeff asked cheerfully, pulling me from my thoughts about my current situation. I closed my closet door and spun around to face him. "Spend the day in the city with me."_

_"This is why I told you to call before you came," I replied jokingly with a laugh. "I would love to go out on the town with you, but I have commitments at work that I can't break."_

_"Come on, Meemz," he goaded, rising from the bed and coming over to stand in front of me. "You know you want to. Help me take my mind off of my present situation."_

_"Jeff, _I can't_," I said, slightly more firm than I meant. I shook my head and brushed past him. "Things are different than before, you know that. I have a nine..."_

_"A _nine to five schedule_, I know," he replied dejectedly. "You told me as much before. Doesn't mean that you can't skip one measly day of work. I'm sure if Adam was here you would have no problem with it."_

_"That's not true," I answered. "But then again, _Adam _would have had the sense to call before he came."_

_I regretted the words as soon as they left my lips. So much for being a _comforting, supporting friend_ to Jeff. I was just taken aback by his behavior - this visit, his carefree attitude toward everything including his suspension... Nothing made much sense to me. Things like this might have seemed commonplace within the WWE atmosphere where life on the road took up much of your days and you craved intimate moments at home. But things were different now with me, and it seemed as if Jeff had yet to realize that._

_"I'm sorry," I murmured, looking directly into his conflicted eyes. "I didn't mean how horrible it sounded. It's just..."_

_My eyes scanned to the side and for the first time, I noticed that there was no display on my clock. I furrowed my brow, dropping my clothes on the nearby chair and headed back to the side of my bed. I reached out and touched the black plastic where red LED numbers should have been displayed._

_"I unplugged it," Jeff said, as I fought to keep my mind and consciousness in check. "Figured you could use a morning in."_

_I quickly shot up off of the bed and ran to the kitchen. I looked at the clock on the wall and gasped. _8:35 AM! _My meeting was scheduled for nine! There was no way that I could get ready and downtown in time. I dashed over to the sofa and retrieved my phone that was still lying carelessly on the cushion from the night before. I quickly punched in Danielle's number and prayed that she answered._

_"Where the fuck are you?"_

_"It's a long story," I stated, knowing that Danielle had every reason to sound so infuriated at me. "Please, stall Mr. Williams for awhile. I will be there as soon as I can."_

_"And when will that be?" she quickly vented. "We were supposed to go through our proposal for next month before the meeting. Now, we'll be lucky if you even make it on time."_

_"I'm not," I said, trying my best to keep all of my emotions in check. "I'm going to be late... hopefully not _too late_. Just try and keep him occupied until I get there."_

_"Get here quick."_

_The line went dead and I finally was allowed a moment to let out my frustrations in a loud groan. I let the phone fall back onto the sofa before rising and grabbing my clothes from the nearby chair. I spared an irritated glance at my friend before heading into the bathroom. I tried my best to rush through my morning shower, knowing that I needed to blow dry my hair. It was too cold outside as well as too unprofessional to go into the office with my hair damp, especially to a meeting of this magnitude. _

_It was our proposal for upcoming projects. If Mr. Williams liked our ideas, we were set for the rest of the coming fiscal year. If not, we would be lucky to get on any of the bigger projects that came the company's way in the next few months. Because of this morning's stumble, there was no way that I would be prepared. I just hoped that the ideas came through on their own without any help from me._

_I rushed out of the bathroom pulling on my one inch black leather pumps that were lying on the floor. I retrieved my phone and work files and stuffed both into my briefcase. I grabbed for my pea coat, but found it missing from its usual perch on the back of my leather recliner. I looked around and saw it in the grasp of my best friend, who still had a huge grin on his face._

_"So I take it we aren't going for breakfast, huh?" _

* * *

I grimaced as I watched Edge climb up a ladder and jump on a prone Undertaker, crashing both of their bodies through a table that was set up in the ring. Yet it wasn't affecting me as much as it normally would. Too think that I was so nervous about this match a few hours ago, but now it seemed to be just a distraction. My mind couldn't full concentrate on the action on the screen, as it was still circling around all that had happened earlier in the night. If I thought that Jeff was a ranting and raving lunatic in Cameron, there was no way I could accurately describe his behavior tonight. In a matter of a few minutes, he was able to totally destroy deep bonds of our friendship and leave me in an even more confused state.

"Great match, huh Nam?"

I was becoming quite solid in my relationship with Adam, but Jeff's words were causing some cracks to form in the foundation. I didn't know Adam as long as he did and wasn't sure if maybe his warnings had some validity. Especially after my night with the female counterparts to my Canadian friends...

Even though they had initially soothed me, after all of the liquor was consumed and gone from my system and the night had turned into day, the doubts crept in once more. I knew that Adam had matured greatly from his first marriage to now, but that didn't change past events. Was I sure that I could really live with the fact that Adam might have more "maturing" to do? What if I was really _just a phase_ like Jeff had put it?

"For fuck's sake, I don't think she has heard a word we've said."

My brain was able to process the tail end of Randy's declaration, but it was the shove off of my chair that really sparked my ire. I glowered up at him from the cold floor, trying my best to remember that he was still injured and in no condition to deal with any physical wrath. Besides, Randy had been in a very uncouth mood most of the night to begin with and I really didn't want to test his composure. Thus, when I was able to pick myself up off of the ground, I leaned over and whacked the chest of the West Newbury native instead.

"Hey, he said it," John said defensively, rubbing the spot of impact on his chest. "Don't let that sling fool you: he is still fit to be slapped."

I eyed Randy cautiously as I took my seat between the two men once more. My eyes fell on the screen just in time to see Adam set up the Undertaker for a one man conchairto, but get a hard punch to the chin instead. I grimaced and looked to the side, ready to go back into my own thoughts to block out the action in front of me. Yet instead, my gaze fell upon the blazing green irises of my embittered friend. He sat at another table watching the match with his brother and some of their closer friends from the brands. I didn't know how much of the match he had actually seen however, as his eyes seemed to be locked on my chair.

I gave him a small, sad smile, but it was not reciprocated. He broke the gaze and glared at the screen. I turned back to the screen, my smile falling into a frown. Nothing was making sense to me anymore. This was supposed to be the happiest time of my life, but I was too lost in my head. I really needed to take Denise's advice and stop thinking so much. All it seemed to do was cause more doubt and trouble.

"Something up with you and Copeland?"

I looked over into the crystalline eyes of the Legend Killer and sighed. His statement was said in such a hushed tone that I doubted even John heard. But then again, he seemed in a little too much pain at the moment to focus on anything. John's eyes may have been watching the match, but he seemed fully concentrated on the ice pack that he was holding on his neck. He said it was just a little sore from the Batista Bomb he took in his match, but John was never one to really show any weakness at the arena. I knew that it must have been worse than he was letting on.

"Why do you always suspect that if I am even the slightest bit upset it has _something_ to do with Adam?" I asked in the same muted tenor.

Randy just shrugged his shoulder good shoulder, flicking his eyes to the screen just as Undertaker superkicked Edge off of the apron and into the Cell structure. Edge's body fell to the mat on the outside of the ring and you could see the red marks that adorned his torso and arms from the heinous match so far. I turned to my companion and his lips perked up in a small grin before his eyes found mine once more.

"Past history," he muttered.

"Doesn't the _history_ part of your statement already imply the fact that the actions are _in the past_?" I asked rhetorically, knowing from previous experiences that it irked him to no end. He gave me a cold glare and opened his mouth to retort, but I quickly raised my hand to still his words. "Forget it. I'm not really in the mood to go tit for tat with you."

"I wouldn't mind playing _tits for tats_ with you," he murmured lecherously, leaning over so his lips were at the shell of my right ear. "You show me yours and I'll show you mine."

My eyes narrowed as Randy Orton had just grated on my last bruised nerve.

"You're a pig, you know that?" I said, rising from chair and heading for the doorway of the commissary.

As much as I wanted to watch Adam's match, I had too much on my mind to concentrate on it, and I really couldn't take Randy's sophomoric attitude any longer. I walked out of the area and headed down the hallway toward the main locker room. Most of the talent was in the commissary or had left the arena, so I figured it would be the best place to get some peace and quiet. Maybe I could actually get a handle on my emotions before Adam came back. It was doubtful, but I really didn't want to begin our time together bogged down in my insecurities.

I pushed open the door, but before I could enter an arm wrapped around my torso and pulled me flush against his form. I tilted my head upward and caught the gleam of the Legend Killer's eyes. I groaned and was able to struggle out of his light hold. He wasn't using anywhere near his full strength, especially because of his recent motorcycle accident. His collarbone was broken once more as well as receiving bruises and scratches that adorned both of his muscular arms. Luckily, his injuries were not as serious as they could have been.

"Why'd you leave?" Randy huskily asked. "It's not like it isn't anything you haven't heard from me before."

"I'm just... not in the mood for _randy_ Randy," I said with the biggest smirk that I could muster. He laughed slightly at my pun at the meaning of the word, before lightly shoving me away with his good arm.

"Not like I haven't heard that one about _a million times_ in my life," he mused with his best attempt at a smile. "But there was no way in hell I was going to go through life as _Randal._ That's even worse."

"Says you," I replied flippantly. "There is nothing wrong with the name Randal."

"But there is obviously something wrong with _Nami_ in that she is avoiding actually talking to me," Randy replied, rolling his neck before returning his predatory gaze to my own. "Something is bothering you. Humor me by telling me what it is."

"I am past the days of coming to Randy Orton for advice," I muttered sardonically, leaning against the wall near the closed locker room door.

"My advice is probably better than any other shit you have heard," he countered stalking over to stand right in front of my form.

"When did you become the gossip whore of the locker room?" I asked with a mocking grin. "I thought you shied away from all that and kept your shit private... well, as _private_ as you can get in this business."

"Just trying to be _helpful_," he said with a shrug, but the aggressive nature of his body language never left his body language.

"I don't need anyone's help," I replied with a sigh, putting my palms on his cotton-clad chest, mindful of the sling that hung across. I pushed him slightly back, trying to get some space between us.

"Look, if I can tell that you are being a mopey little bitch about something, I'm sure as hell Adam will be able to too," Randy said, and I had to fight myself not to retort. I figured that was his angle with the name calling... it _usually_ was. "He's already taking time off for you. What more do you want from him?"

"This time off is not just for me," I seethed, hating that people in the locker room thought that I was taking Adam away from his dream occupation. I knew Randy wasn't the only one who thought this way. "Adam wants some time to get refreshed and not burn himself out. Besides, it will give his body some time to heal."

"He's a _wrestler_, Nam," Randy ranted with a laugh. "Working through the pain is what we do because our bodies are _never_ fully healed... probably never will be."

"Don't tell me that shit," I said, shaking my head. "I don't want to hear it."

"The truth can be hard to swallow sometimes," he replied. "He's living his dream though, so I'm sure for him it is worth it."

"Is it for you?" I asked hesitantly. "You have a wife and new baby girl at home. Wouldn't you rather spend more time with them? Especially now that you can, being injured and all..."

"I love my family," Randy said, his eyes slightly darkening at my question. I was about to interject that I never had doubted that notion, but he continued on. "I do this so they can have everything they could ever want in life."

"But was it ever your dream?" I asked with a small smile.

"I'm not like Adam," he vented. "I didn't practice wrestling in hallways at school. Or dream about what it would be like to see my name up in lights and be announced to thousands of people in an arena. I saw the other side of wrestling. The father that was hardly ever there... the mother who waited and waited for just a day alone with the man she married. The son who saw his father maybe twelve days out of the year."

"And yet... _you're here_," I said with a blithe chuckle. Randy saw no humor and his eyes became even colder. He leaned down and his eyes squinted in anger and I had to keep myself from shuddering under his gaze.

"Worry about your own fucking life and stay out of mine," he whispered harshly. He quickly straightened up, turned around, and headed down the hallway.

My mouth gaped open at the exchange that had just occurred. Sure, I knew that he was in an off mood, but he had never spoken so coldly to me before. Besides, he was the one who wanted me to open up to him. Yet I couldn't get the same in return?

This whole night was beginning to feel more and more like a nightmare. I never considered myself and Randy _very close_, but for him to get so icy when I mentioned his motives for wrestling... it was extreme. I was just curious, and it wasn't like I was grilling him for information for a story. That was all in my past.

Now, for the first time, I was definitely looking forward to putting the WWE in the past as well.

Adam was going to be inactive, meaning that he wouldn't be keeping up with the everyday affairs of the company. When he was injured and needed time away, he liked to totally get away from the product. He got clued in on storylines a week before returning and figured out what he needed for his character. A few months with no wrestling talk seemed to be just what I needed as well.

"Nice to see you enjoyed the match."

I turned and watched as Adam hobbled down the hallway toward the locker room. It was said in jest, but I could tell he was a little surprised that I hadn't witnessed his match first hand. I tried my best to push all of my discomfort to the side and smile at the sweaty and slightly flushed mass that came to stand in front of me. I reached out and pushed some of his damp locks away from his face, before leaning up to capture his lips in my own.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into his lips. "Figured we could watch it together."

"Nice excuse, beautiful," he murmured in reply, before leaning and using his tongue to part my lips.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, my fingers grasping some locks of hair in the process. I moaned as he pressed me up against the wall, while dominating my lips into submission. The caress of his lips was not soft but demanding and I was only too happy to respond in kind. After all that had happened earlier, I was content to just fall into Adam's arms and never let go. I leaned back slightly, our kiss breaking as a smile made its way onto my slightly bruised lips.

"I take it the match went well?" I murmured, placing my head on his chest right above his racing heart. "From what I saw, it looked amazing."

"Let's just say I went out in a _blaze of glory_," Adam replied with a laugh. I turned my face upward to look at him in confusion, but he just shook his head. "You'll understand when you see it."

Adam pushed away from the wall while reaching down to take my hand in his. He brought it to his lips and kissed along the line of my knuckles. I smiled, while trying to fight the emotions of knowing Jeff had done the very same thing not three hours ago. Adam then wordlessly led me into the vacant locker room, and I pushed all thoughts other than those of the blond in front of me to the side. This was what mattered now.

He led me over to the bench near his burnt orange bag and pushed me gently into a seated position. He crouched down so we were eye level once more, leaning in to lightly nip at the skin on the column of my neck. I moaned slightly, letting my arms fall around his neck once more. His lips moved up the length of my throat and came to rest on the shell of my ear.

"You ready to get out of here?"

Adam rose from his position and I looked up at my fiancée with a sad smile on my lips.

"More than you could ever know."


	12. Let Me Be The One

A.N. - Normal Disclaimer... I don't own WWE and its associated Superstars. To everyone who had read, added, and reviewed,_ tanky tanky._ Most love goes to all of my reviewers - **Kris21xX, ResplendentAnarchist, I'll miss you Edge, Rainbowbrite006, and RieeBella. **Your reviews make writing much more pleasurable. You all rock my world and I hope your are all still with me.

**Writer's block sucks! **But I think I might have finally broken free. There was more to the three month delay (_I can't believe it has been so long_), but everything is getting better. So, thanks once again to everyone who is still reading and reviewing!** It means a lot. :-)** Happy reading!

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Tuesday September 2, 2008  
3:35 PM - Adam's House: Tampa, FL

The calm soothing tone of Cecilia Bartoli's soprano voice echoed through my being as I stared at the manuscript in front of me. I found it impossible to do work without some form of musical stimulation. For some reason, it made my work much better. And considering I wasn't the best at proofreading, I needed all of the help I could get.

I continued to chew on the bottom of my red pen as the beautifully sung Italian words continued to kindle my skill. I brought my pen down to cross out a double negative before it quickly returned to my lips. Nervous habit, I guess... Yet I needed this to be above and beyond exceptional. I was being given the chance to freelance edit some of Hachette's lesser known accounts. If I proved myself worthy, I might be given a new position in the company, even with my new Southern location. I would need to make monthly trips to New York for a conference or two, but nothing that would stop me from living with Adam.

A smile quickly formed on my pen chewing lips as I thought of my blond fiancé and the few weeks we had shared. It had been over two weeks since Summerslam and Adam showed little sign of missing the grind of being a full-time WWE Superstar. After we watched his entertaining - if not also heart-pounding and nerve-wracking - match with the Undertaker the night we got home, hardly another word was spent on the subject of professional wrestling. Adam was in his _time away mode_ and liked to think of anything but the everyday workings on the squared circle. At first, I was ecstatic that we could go through more than twenty-four hours without images of my fiancé's body bruised and battered running through my mind. But now... I was beginning to see things differently.

The first week Adam was home was wonderful. The two of us barely left the house - some days barely leaving the bedroom. It was everything I had hoped for and more. His body was healing, his mind was not as scattered, and his heart was fully into the time away that he was given. He said that the last time he was out injured last summer was a blessing in disguise because of all of the personal pain he was going through. This time, he saw his time off as just a blessing: that we were allowed to spend so much time just being together... make up for the time we lost.

By the second week, that plan started to unravel. I had some things that I wanted to do. Proofing the two manuscripts I was given was near the top of the list, but I also just needed some time to myself. I was still adjusting to my new life in Florida and liked to just be able to go off in my head for awhile. I needed some time to just process things and be able to relax. I wouldn't exactly call it _meditation_, but I needed some personal quiet time. Adam didn't seem to grasp that notion. He wanted to spend every moment of his time off together. While I once jumped at that notion, it had become less and less appealing as the days went by.

Which explained my current situation of sitting on the carpet in one of Adam's guest rooms with my back leaning against the mattress, slumped down enough to try and shield myself from the hallway door. Adam was out walking the dogs and I was trying my best to get a little work done uninterrupted. I made another cross out on the sheet in front of me and flipped the page. _Only one-hundred and eighty seven pages to go._

As my eyes focused on the sentence at the top of the page, I felt a disturbance of the mattress from behind. I sighed slightly, but made no move to acknowledge Adam's presence. I hoped that he would see that I was working and give me a few moments of peace. The wet heat of his lips found the side of my neck, his blond locks falling on my shoulder from his lying position on the mattress above. I groaned and reached up, trying to push him away. All I succeeded in doing was allowing him more access to the column of my neck, while dropping my pen from my lips in the process. The tight suction did not let up until I swiveled around to stare at him from my position on the floor.

I pulled one of the ear buds from my ear, my eyes not leaving the amused green irises of my fiancé above. He was lying on his stomach, his form slightly hanging off of the full-sized mattress. His elbows propped him up, but he was able to crook a suggestive finger my way. I shook my head at his playful mood, turning around once more with my back leaning against the bed.

"Adam... please," I muttered, reaching down to pick up my pen from the carpet. I grasped the manuscript once more and tried my best to focus on the page in front of me. Yet it wasn't long before I felt Adam's warm breath near my ear. "I'm trying to work."

"I thought the point of my little sabbatical was us spending time together," he murmured, leaning farther over the mattress so I caught his gaze once more. He rose his eyebrows suggestively, a seductive grin on his peach lips.

"We did _spend time_ together... all morning," I replied jokingly, reaching up to whack him lightly on his forehead with the paper bundle in my hand. My sultry tone for the words "spend time" just made the fire in Adam's eyes flicker even more, as if the memories of our morning in bed were replaying his mind. I figured I should try and get his mind off of its current path, if I had any hope of finishing my work. "Besides, I need this to turn out well, so Mr. Williams might let me freelance from down here more often, maybe even full time."

"I still can't believe you are working," Adam slightly pouted with a sigh, rolling on his back and flopping down on the mattress. I turned my gaze back to the text in front of me, as he continued to ramble. "I told you to take your time. Find your passion; not just go back into the same thing you were doing."

"But I happened to like what I was doing," I offered, only half-heartedly paying attention to his plea. I scanned the page, bringing my pen down to correct a few comma splices. "Besides, it's _proofing and editing _- not writing."

Even though my original goal was to become a full-fledged author, my plans had changed after my time in the WWE. I couldn't even bring myself to finish my work on Renaissance Art and just handed off all of my research and notes to an intern at Hachette to file away in case they needed it for anything in the future. I was quite content that my only literary contribution would be Confessions... even though I was sure that I would never be able to fully live it down.

My article on professional wrestling was in the proofing stages, as I had finally found the time to complete the first draft. After its completion, I found myself craving some mental stimulation that only literary works seemed to provide. Reading only went so far, but I had remembered that Melanie had offered me an open ended proposition of helping Hachette with some of her accounts. She had left in the Spring and instead of hiring a replacement, the company was just using some other in-house editors to finish her work.

Calling Mr. Williams was harder than I thought it would have been, but he was open to me returning on a part-time basis even if I was all the way down the coast. I guess for him it was better than having to hire a new employee, as I would work for a reduced salary. For me, it wasn't for the money. It was just to give me something to do - something I could do in Florida that wasn't all about Adam or his life. It was something that I could hold onto from my life in the North, and at the moment, I needed that.

"Same difference," Adam muttered, even though I had forgotten of what we were speaking.

I turned to look at him and leaned forward to capture his lips. They parted, and I briefly allowed him to take control, his warm tongue darting in my mouth to entangle with my own. Yet when he tried to pull me upon the mattress, I leaned back with a small smile on my lips. I shook my head and turned back around, leaning my head back on the side of the mattress.

I looked down at the manuscript and continued reading, the classical music still flowing through one of my ears. I was going to replace the other bud so I could become fully focused on my task. But I figured that I shouldn't totally shut Adam out. I really didn't want to make him anymore upset that he probably already was. I finished reading the page, sighing as I went to flip to the next.

"You missed something."

Adam's gruff tone startled me, but I tried to not show my fright. I started scanning the page, wondering how I could have missed something. I knew I wasn't the best at proofing manuscripts, but couldn't believe that Adam could have spotted something that I overlooked.

"What?" I asked, after pondering over the sentences for a few moments. He reached down and pointed to the possessive form of the name Charles.

"It's correct," I said with a nod. "Both ways of writing the apostrophe are correct. As long as you don't flip flop with your usage in a written work, it doesn't matter."

"Oh," Adam replied, his tone slightly dejected. "Well, I'm not going to argue with an English major."

"Thanks," I murmured, slightly uncomfortable with his glumness.

All I wanted to do was get some work done, but it seemed like nothing I did ever turned out right. Not with Adam. Not with a certain other WWE wrestler whom I had yet to speak with since Summerslam... even though his birthday was a few days ago... and even though...

"But what about that?"

Pulling my thoughts from a certain blue haired North Carolinian, I looked down at the page where his finger rested. I read the phrase and noticed it was a dependant clause. I let out an exasperated sigh, as I scratched out the words with my red pen. I looked over my shoulder and saw a smug grin had fallen on his lips. At least he seemed cheered up.

"Don't you have something else you could be doing?" I asked, trying my best to not offend him anymore than I already had. I really wanted to get this work done, and didn't need the constant supervision (even if he had inadvertently helped). "Call up Jay? Go for a walk? _Anything?_"

"He's at the Impact Zone today. I was just out for a walk. And I having nothing else that I would rather do than be with you," Adam replied, punctuating each one of his answers with a raise of a finger. When he was finished, he extended his hand and lightly played with some of the hair that had fallen near the side of my eye. "Trying to get rid of me, beautiful?"

"Never," I replied with a smile, but when his face contorted into one of accusation, I knew that I had been caught. "Well, maybe. It's just I want to get this done with. I should've had it done last week, but... _you know_."

I could see in his expression that he knew that I was truly happy to have him around. Yet he had to know that I still needed some space. For all of our relationship up until this point, we had lived apart. Earlier, I had a life that he was becoming a part of, but it still went on without him near. It was lonelier and nowhere near as enjoyable, but it continued.

Now, with both of us living under the same roof in Florida, things had changed. My life was _his life_ in almost every aspect. We hadn't spent more than an hour apart since Summerslam. Part of me loved it, yet there was another part that needed some air to breathe. I guess what they say is true: be careful what you wish for...

"You're not happy."

The three words were said so seriously that I hoped Adam honestly didn't believe them to be true. Even if our time of domestic bliss wasn't exactly what I had been picturing in my daydreams, it was better than not having him around. I would never get used to that feeling and was happy that these next few months together would give me some time to adjust.

"I am happy," I stressed with a smile, reaching up to rub his stubbled chin with my finger. "Deliriously so. I just want to get this done and do a good job."

He nodded, moving his head so he could bring my finger to his lips. He lightly kissed all the way down its length, before rolling over to fall back into the pillows against the headboard of the bed. I chuckled as I watched him lightly toss one of the stuffed bears that were lying nearby in the air. I soon became slightly entranced just watching the simple action. He looked so at peace and content. I hoped that he could last a few more hours in such a mental state so I could make great progress on my work.

With one last loving look, I turned back around and settled against the mattress. The aria that was now playing in my one ear was much more rousing than the last and gave me a jolt of energy. I picked up my pen and manuscript once more, firmly entrenched in a working mode. I scanned over the first paragraph and began to scribble a side note in the lower margin of the page.

"So, have you thought more about the wedding?"

The query caused my mind to shut down and the pen I was holding slipped, scrawling a long red line diagonally across the text on the page. I stared down at the words, but no longer cared about my work. Was Adam serious? _Have I thought more about it?_ To be honest, it hardly had crossed my mind the past month. I wanted to take this slow, savor and enjoy our time of just living together before marriage. I thought he did as well.

"What, what?" I asked, the doubled word being spoken in the same cadence as the last two of his query. I looked over my shoulder and saw a confused expression on my fiancé's face.

"The wedding? _Our wedding?" _he stressed, tossing the stuffed bear to the side and sitting up on the mattress. "Don't tell me that you haven't started thinking about it."

I shook my head and finally pulled the remaining ear bud out. I closed the manuscript and placed my pen and mp3 player on top of it. I got up off of the carpet and looked down into Adam's eyes. He really seemed serious about discussing our nuptials, but I was unsure of how to answer. The short answer was that I wasn't ready, but I knew that that wouldn't go over well with the blond.

"Is this really the best time for this conversation?" I asked with a sigh.

"Sorry," he mumbled quickly, bringing his hand up to run through his blond locks. I knew that it was one of his nervous habits when he was anxious or distressed. My face fell slightly, but before I could speak he continued. "It's just that these past two weeks I have been waiting for you to bring it up, but you haven't. Chris assured me that you would. He thought as soon as the plane landed in Tampa the night after Summerslam you would want to start planning."

I didn't hear much of his statement as my mind shorted out when he explained that he spoke to Chris about our engagement. I will admit that Chris was probably the closest one to us both individually as well as a couple because of last Summer. Yet it still threw me that he would go to his friend and discuss our engagement before coming to me first. He hadn't even suggested that we start planning since I moved in.

"You talked with Chris about this?" I asked incredulously. Adam just looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders as if he saw nothing wrong. I shook my head and parted my lips to speak.

"And Jay."

The words died in my throat. So Jay and Chris both knew more about Adam's feelings toward the relationship and its progression than I did? It wouldn't have hurt me so much if we had been able to communicate better in other aspects of our relationship. Yet communication was still the biggest flaw. I still had small doubts and they were all based on the fact that I never really knew what Adam was thinking. I didn't know if Adam's past would come back to haunt us both. But instead of trying to work through the past together to be a much more stable unit, he was already thinking about the future. I was scared that all that would do is doom us like his past two marriages... that I still knew little about.

"Oh, that makes it better," I muttered in reply, knowing that the addition of his best friend did little to help the situation. I shook my head at him and stalked out of the room. My mind was circling in places I didn't want it to go and I just needed some space to process my thoughts.

"It just doesn't seem normal," Adam declared, following me out of the room. He reached out and grabbed my wrist from behind to halt me from continuing my trek away from him. I groaned, but allowed him to spin me around to face his confused green eyes. "We're engaged. Shouldn't we discuss future plans?"

"Don't we have our past to work through first?" I asked hastily, not really thinking of the words as they spilled from my lips.

When I saw his gaze darken slightly, I knew that I should have considered my words before I spoke. Yet I didn't regret what I said. Before Summerslam, we had made strides to become more open with each other and talk through things that needed to be discussed. Now, we were back to our normal avoidance of anything remotely uncomfortable and trying to gloss over past actions.

"Look, I fell in love and fell out of it," Adam replied with a sigh. I could see that I was not the only one perturbed at the moment. "Rushed into something I thought I wanted and realized I made a huge mistake. Made another _huge_ mistake by following my heart, but changed too much to truly enjoy it. Now, I am happy with who I am and what I want. I have what I want in my grasp and I am not going to let her go... no matter how many times she tries to push me away."

During his declaration, Adam pulled me even closer to him. When he spoke about his present, he stared right into my very soul, pleading with me to let it go. I knew that I should, but I just didn't feel totally satisfied with the information that I did know.

"I am not pushing you away," I stressed, his eyes softening at my admission.

"Then, let's plan," he stated before anymore words could fall from my lips.

I became confused, shaking my head and getting ready to respond. I never got the chance as he used his hold on me to push me lightly against the wall of the hallway. He brought his lips quickly down upon my own, devouring the flesh that he found. I moaned into his mouth, instinctively wrapping my arms around his neck to hold him to me. His hands played with the hem of my shirt, one slipping underneath to tease the bare flesh of my stomach.

"That's not planning," I mumbled, when our lips broke apart for much needed air. I looked at him through half-lidded eyes and saw a blissful expression on his features. Once again, everything was swept away in our physical passion. It was this pattern that made me concerned about rushing into marriage to fast.

"But oh so enjoyable," he mused, a wolfish grin falling on his lips before he closed the small distance and captured my lips in his once more.

I didn't resist, but as my body kept up with the amorous attention of my lover, my mind drifted. It drifted to the words that had been haunting me for the whole two weeks we had been back in Florida. As much as I tried to forget them, they were etched in my mind and wouldn't leave. Shining emerald eyes, bright blue hair, and a venomous Southern drawl... _'You are just a phase.'_

At first, I tried to convince myself that the only reason the words were still in my head was because of the Incubus song with a similar phrase. That notion was debunked when listening to said song caused a coldness to settle in the pit of my stomach. And the fact that the emerald irises so full of anger were a constant in the forefront of my mind helped me come to the conclusion that Jeff's words had affected me much more than they should have.

The reason was simple: the words played off of my main fear. I was petrified that Adam would get bored of the relationship we had. That as soon as things became too mundane and every day, he would seek something new. In my mind, I thought that maybe by learning more about his previous failures in romantic entanglements, we could avoid the same fate. Yet he seemed to resist every time I pushed, or tried to distract me into just letting it slip to the side.

I couldn't let that happen this time. If he wanted to start planning a ceremony that was going to seal our commitment to each other 'til death do us part', I wanted to know that what I was getting into would truly last 'til that fateful day. I pushed back on Adam's chest, leaning my head back against the wall to fully break contact with his tempting lips. He looked down on me with confusion in his eyes.

"What makes this relationship different from those in your past?" I asked seriously.

I had heard about his relationships from Denise and Jessica, but I wanted to hear the words from his mouth. I wanted to hear him explain why he thought I would be any different than the three previous loves of his life. Yet judging from his reaction, I wasn't sure that I would be getting an answer. He rolled his eyes and chuckled under his breath. He pushed off of the wall and backed up a few steps.

"You really don't let up, do you?" Adam said with another sardonic chuckle. "You're like a dog with a bone."

"Did you just call me a dog?" I retorted quickly.

"Beautiful, I didn't mean it like that. It's just..." he pleaded, closing the gap between us once more. He leaned down and rested his forehead on mine. "Damn, you can be the most frustrating, paranoid, woman on this whole planet! And I mean that lovingly."

"Woof," I muttered, slightly pouting to try and guilt my way to the discussion I always wanted.

"I didn't mean it," he replied firmly, reaching up to twirl a few strands of my hair with his finger.

He maneuvered his lips downward, sucking my slightly protruding bottom lip into his mouth. I groaned when he lightly bit down on the tender flesh. I soon found myself swept up in the moment, and before I knew it, our tongues were clashing once more. His hands returned to my waist, tugging me closer to him. I submitted, but soon realized my error.

I pushed Adam back once more, shaking my head at my own weakness. I looked up into Adam's eyes and saw annoyance more than any other emotion. I could understand, because I felt the same way. I was never going to get the answers I was looking for from him.

I sighed, pushed off of the wall and walked back down the hallway. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of apple juice from the refrigerator. The cold liquid helped quell some of the heat that had fallen over me, but not all. Only Adam would be able to fully fan the flames, but I was not mentally or emotionally in the mood to submit to my more baser passions.

"After Amy, I didn't think I would ever find true love."

The statement hung in the air as my eyes widened in surprise. I had truly thought that the conversation between the two of us was dead. I stared at my shadowed reflection in the refrigerator's door before turning around to meet his gaze. Adam was leaning in the entryway to the kitchen. As soon as my eyes found his, he shook his head and looked away, but continued speaking.

"_True love_. Fuck, I didn't think it existed," Adam said chuckling as he continued to avoid my eyes. "After my past relationships, thinking that there was someone out there that I couldn't imagine my life without was ludicrous. I thought that I would be happiest to just have casual relationships, nothing that deep. But then I realized that I didn't want to settle anymore."

Adam finally turned, his green irises earnest and reflecting a desire for me to understand. That was something I had never seen in their expressive depths. He took a few steps into the room, but stopped still a good distance from me.

"Because that is what I had done my whole romantic life, Nam," he implored, sounding desperate to have me understand. "I have settled for what was there and what was easy. My professional life took up so much of my life and was such hard work. I think I just needed something to come easy."

With that said, he turned his back to me and headed out of the room. My mouth gaped open and croaked out his name, but he continued his flight back down the hallway. I started off after him, not satisfied that that was the conclusion of the conversation. He had opened up... _finally_, he had opened up! But I wanted more.

I followed him into his office, watching as he sat down in the chair behind his desk. He opened up one of the wooden drawers and pulled out a leather bound book. I watched as he flipped through the pages with a purpose, before setting it down on the wood and pushing it across the expanse. I quickly strode the few steps over to stare down at the open page.

"Alanna was my first real love," Adam continued, as I stared at the page containing a picture of the once happy couple. "She was so kind, warm, and beautiful and we became friends almost instantaneously. I was still trying to make it in the business and with how the schedule was in those days for me, it killed what we had. What we could have become."

He drifted off and I looked up to view his seated form. He was staring at the open book as well, but his eyes seem focused on something that wasn't there. It was like he was lost in his head, absorbed in images or memories flashing in his own mind. It was then that I began to understand why he was so closed off about this topic. It wasn't all about not wanting to discuss his past with me. It was about not wanting to relive it himself.

"We didn't have time to mature into the people we needed to be for our relationship to work and... we just drifted apart," he continued, his eyes still downcast and far away. Yet now they showed a slight sheen of liquid emotion. "Neither of us were ready for marriage. It just seemed like the logical step for our relationship to progress, but it ended up being a death sentence. Our last year of marriage, we were friends, but not really lovers. Maybe physically, but all of the emotional aspects of love were gone."

I didn't want to interrupt, even though my heart was begging me to do so. He looked so in pain as he recalled his past, and I couldn't fully understand why. I knew Alanna was still considered a friend, yet he seemingly held so much grief about how their love died. I figured that it was because he didn't expect it to fail and it did. That he had planned on spending his whole life with her, but something changed that destroyed all hope on that happening.

"Then, the neck injury occurred and just threw my life into a total tailspin," Adam explained. "I was going through divorce proceedings, couldn't wrestle... talk about a low point in my life."

He chuckled bitterly, shaking his head as he reached over to grasp the photo album once more. He flipped through a few more pages, his glassy eyes still holding so much emotion that threatened to spill out. No matter how much he might have thought he was beyond his past, it did still haunt him. The evidence was right there in his eyes.

"I knew Lisa as a mere acquaintance; friend of a friend type of a thing, you know," Adam said, placing the album down on the desk and pushing it my way. I looked down at the picture staring up at me, a picture of this once in love couple on a hiking trip. "But in her, I thought I found what I was looking for. But it was really just what I needed at that time, not what would truly satisfy me. I know it sounds selfish..."

"Love itself is selfish," I interrupted for the first time during his romantic monologue.

I wanted him to know that I was here, and that I didn't think any less of the man he was because of his romantic failings. I knew that it happens. I didn't want to be a part of that statistic in my life, but that didn't mean I held it against Adam that he was. I just wanted to understand him better and make sure that he learned from his past and was sure what he wanted in his future. I wanted him to find the happiness that he so rightly deserved.

"That's one way of looking at it, and a notion that I adhered to for most of my life until you," he replied with a small smile, his eyes lifting to catch mine for the first time. "But we're not _at you_ yet."

I returned the smile, but his eyes quickly fell once more to the photo in front of us. I looked down at the photo as well, yet this time with more happiness in my heart. No matter how upsetting this was for him, he still had the smile that could make me melt.

"Lisa knew what life as a wrestler's significant other would entail," he explained. "She knew just what she was getting into, but embraced it. Because of that, we got married way too quickly. We had problems from the very beginning. But sooner rather than later, I finally got what I thought I wanted."

My eyes rose to his sitting form, reflecting the confusion that fell over my mind. I didn't exactly understand what he meant and was unsure I was going to get my answer. Especially when he reached over, closed the small leather album, and stuck it back in the drawer. He leaned back into the leather chair and sighed.

"I needed Lisa, but I wanted Amy," Adam clarified, even though I was unsure if that was truly what he meant with his earlier statement. "She was my best female friend and we just found ourselves falling for each other. It started innocent enough, but soon..."

He drifted off, his eyes falling shut. I knew that there was much he could say, but I was unsure about how much he wanted to. This was the most public relationship in the recent era of the WWE. There were so many rumors and misnomers that it was hard to tell fact from fiction anymore. Adam had his side of the story, one that I had only heard part of. Much of my knowledge about the relationship came from a certain pair of brothers whom I knew couldn't be trusted at being impartial.

"But then when the news got out that we were together, our punishment was the storyline from Hell," Adam scathed, his eyes falling open and finding my own. "It may have helped my career and Edge's image, but it killed our relationship. You saw what it was like at the end of Amy's time with the company. All of that toxic energy around us had changed the Amy that I fell in love with. She was still one of my closest friends, but that feeling - that special, all-encompassing, mind numbing loving feeling - was gone."

He rose from the chair and walked the few steps over to where I stood. He reached out and took my hands in his, looking down at how our fingers looked entwined. My eyes stayed focused on his expression, the sadness giving way for a small content smile to form on his lips. His eyes brightened for the first time since our conversation began.

"And then, you came into my life," he said, not lifting his gaze from our hands, even as his expression continued to lighten. "I remember the first time I saw you. I was backstage talking with Randy about our segment when all you Diva Search contestants were announced for the first time. Randy's attention was sidetracked with all of the new attractive distractions that were gracing the screen. But when you showed up, he started cursing up a storm. How you were rude and needed to learn to respect the veterans of the company."

"He was really that bent out of shape because I didn't fall at his feet?" I asked with a laugh, remembering my first encounter with the Legend Killer.

"You have to admit, from what I heard, that you did come off as pretty uncouth," he replied, his eyes lifting to meet my own, no longer glassy but gleaming. "You were a newbie. Respect is everything in the business."

"At that time, I thought all of you were just steroid driven jerks who made millions of dollars for parading around in your underwear for women to lust at from behind their television screens," I quickly stated, my many words all rushing together.

I grinned up at him, and he just laughed, raising our intertwined hands over his heart. His expression was one of sarcastic hurt and I chuckled, happy that the mood had taken a turn for the better.

"I guess we are now even for the 'dog' comment," he said jokingly, breaking our hand holding to lean back and sit on the nearby desk.

"I have apologized to him for how I acted," I replied with a slight groan, as I really didn't want to talk about the St. Louis native at the moment. I was still unsure of the motive for his coarse and cold behavior at Summerslam. We hadn't spoken since and I had no intention on seeking him out. "Besides, I am sure he has encountered worse."

"Seeing Randy get so riled up from a potential Diva was hilarious and I knew that I needed to find out more. But I was totally floored when I actually saw you back at the hotel," Adam recounted, as his mind seemingly wandered once more. Yet this time, the memories he recalled put a grin on his face. "Before we met, I couldn't sleep, especially since I knew that I had an early flight. I knew a little moonlit stroll would do my body good."

He reached a long arm out and pulled me into the space between his legs. He tugged me close, wrapping his arms around my back and resting his forehead on my own. I smiled, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck. His eyes fell half-lidded, an enticing grin spreading across his lips.

"Your hair all messed up, no makeup on, wearing only a long night shirt that hugged your curves in all the right places," he muttered tenderly, his fingers lightly tracing circles underneath my shirt.

"You remember all that? I can hardly remember what I had for breakfast," I joked with a laugh, but felt myself becoming affected by the passionate look in his eyes.

"I said it then - for a different reason, of course - but you're different, Nami," he stressed, opening his eyes wider to help accentuate his words."The love we have isn't selfish. Maybe it was at one time, but now..."

He pulled back slightly, but only so he could look fully into my eyes. From dejected to joyous in a matter of moments, I hoped that this finally would convince my mind that Adam's intentions were true. His demeanor when talking about his past was contrary to what it was now.

"I don't feel the same way about you as I did the others," Adam continued with a shake of his head. "_Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast..._ My mother read that verse at my first wedding, and I never really understood it's true meaning until I fell in love with you."

* * *

_Wednesday March 12, 2008  
5:58 PM - Hachette Book Group: New York Office_

_"I can't believe that you are actually here."_

_The blond outstretched both of his arms, a large toothy grin spreading over his lips. I chuckled and quickly strode over to be engulfed in his embrace. The past two days of work had been Hell since Jeff's impromptu visit threw everything into a tailspin. The presentation I was set to deliver that morning never happened. I was so late that Mr. Williams refused to listen to us. And now, Danielle and I were not exactly on speaking terms because of it. I stressed it wasn't my fault, but she didn't want to hear it. I couldn't blame her._

_"On the phone, you sounded down," he explained, as I buried my face in his coat, taking in everything that was Adam Copeland."Thought I would come and cheer you up."_

_"Yes, I know you told me as much," I replied glumly, looking up into his sunglass shaded eyes. Adam, unlike Jeff, had told me last night that he planned on stopping by after work. He understood that my life was much more stable now and couldn't be subjected to flights of fancy (no matter how much I might have wanted to partake in them). "I just know how busy this time of the year is for you. I wasn't sure you would really show."_

_"Chicago to Tampa or Chicago to New York: there wasn't much of a difference," he justified with a shrug, reaching up to pull the sunglasses away from his eyes. "Besides, I might not get a chance to see you next week. Figured that this would make up for that."_

_Being the World Heavyweight Champion heading into the biggest show of the year meant that there was very little spare time to be had. Countless interviews, live events, and appearances were on Adam's docket until Wrestlemania had come and gone. I would be lucky just to get a phone call in the upcoming days, so having him near at the moment meant the world to me... especially since it would help lift my mind from all of my troubles at work._

_"But going to a family dinner?" I asked pensively. I had explained to my boyfriend over the phone that I had a family engagement that I could try and get out of. He was hearing nothing of that, as he knew how important my family was to me. "Not exactly what I would have had in mind for a visit."_

_"I am not about to take you away from something that has been planned for weeks," he replied, taking my hand in his as we slowly walked to the glass doors to exit the building. "Besides, the Shepherd Clan loves me."_

_We both shared a laugh as memories of the few previous times the blond had met my family came to my mind. He was a true charmer, which caused my whole family to fall for him almost immediately. When I told them of our split, it didn't go over so well, especially since I had to try and explain the deceptive reasoning for it. Adam hadn't seen anyone from my family aside from my father since we got back together in December. I figured there would be many happy faces when we arrived at the restaurant._

_Hand in hand, we walked out of the large office building instantly being greeted with the sights and sounds of a busy New York night. Daylight Saving Time had occurred on Sunday allowing for the six o'clock hour to still have vestiges of sunlight in the air. This caused Adam to quickly adjust the wool cap on his head, pulling it down so it was very low on his brow. He also replaced the sunglasses over his eyes. I knew what he was trying to accomplish, but I doubted it was going to work. _

_"You still stick out," I said teasingly. I reached up and pushed in on his prominent chin. "Try shrinking a little and maybe pushing in your chin and..."_

_He let go of my hand and picked me up by my waist. He hoisted me slightly in the air, spinning me around as I chuckled at his antics. Before setting me down on my feet, he leaned in to capture my lips in a chaste kiss. I settled on my one inch pumps and made sure that my skirt had not fallen out of place._

_"Now, we both stick out," he said with a laugh, as I reached up and fixed my slightly wind - or twirl swept - hair. _

_"No, it's still just you," I replied drolly._

_He reached over and playfully shoved me in the side. I mocked being slightly miffed, but quickly my pout dissolved into a smile. I offered him my hand which was quickly accepted. He pulled me to his side and we walked away from the building and toward the street corner. The restaurant was only a few blocks away, but we were already a little late. The reservation was for six, but my problems at work kept me from leaving until almost that time._

_We walked in comfortable silence until we turned onto 46th Avenue. I knew the restaurant was only a few buildings away. I grasped his hand a little tighter with each step, prompting the tall blond to look down in interest._

_"So, you nervous?" I asked with a nervous chuckle as we slowly strolled down the sidewalk._

_"Nope," he replied confidently. "You?"_

_"A little," I muttered as I stopped walking and turned to look at the white building in front of me._

_"You have nothing to be nervous about," he said, coming to stand by my side._

_I laughed as the conversation reminded me of the one we had the first time Adam met my family. Thanksgiving 2006 didn't turn out exactly how I had planned, but was still a pleasant memory in my mind. That was also thanks to the fact that it was the first night that Adam and I were intimate with each other. Nothing mattered in that moment but being with Adam._

_"I think we have done this before," I said with my mind still stuck in the past. I smiled and looked up across my shoulder to meet his gaze. "You ready to go in?"_

_"You think everyone's here already?" Adam asked as we both stayed rooted in our positions a few paces away from the wooden black door._

_"The reservation was for six, so I am sure they are," I replied, taking a deep breath as I took a small step forward._

_Patroon was a highly respected small restaurant that served New Americana cuisine. Because of its close proximity to Hachette, it was a place that our company frequented when hosting small gatherings for authors or executives The restaurant didn't have a very large casual dining area. But besides the open dining room, there were seven private areas that could be reserved for small or large dinner parties. Through some contacts at Hachette, I was able to get a private reservation for one of the smaller rooms._

_Adam held the heavy wood door open and I walked inside. After a few moments of talking with the greeter, Adam and I were let up a staircase to the second floor. Adam grasped my hand from behind, his lips hovering over my ear._

_"Isn't the dining room that way?" he whispered humorously._

_"We have a private room," I muttered softly, as we were led through an empty large meeting room to the slightly parted doors of a smaller more intimate area._

_I had dined in 'The Match Room' with a few members of our office floor for a Holiday party just a few months ago. Immediately, I knew it would be the perfect place to host my own diner when I could get the family in town. Seeing as we all had our own personal lives and schedules, it was hard to do. Yet, we were able to set aside this night to all come together and share a meal and hopefully some good conversation. They were unaware that Adam would be present, but I was sure they wouldn't mind._

_"The rest of your party is here," the greeter declared to the room as she pushed the wood-slatted door open a little wider._

_"Rest of the party? It should only be one more."_

_I laughed at my cousin Nick's comment as I stepped in the cozy dining room. I surveyed the round table with a smile. My father nodded his head in my direction. My Aunt Roberta was already gushing over my arrival. My Aunt Emily was speaking with her son Tom, whose girlfriend Chelsea was looking as if she felt out of place. Nick and his fiancée Jaime looked my way, but watched when the greeter pulled over an extra chair and quickly started getting a table setting._

_"Hope it's okay if I brought a date," I said with a smile, as I moved out of the way and let Adam in the smaller room. He had already pulled off his glasses and hat, stuffing them both in the pockets of his coat. He smiled at the congregation of my family members and waved._

_"Sorry that I am crashing your party," Adam joked, as shrugged out of his coat before reaching up to help me off with my own. I mouthed a 'thank you' as he went over to the side coat rack to hang them up._

_"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes," my Aunt Roberta exclaimed looking between both me and my beau._

_"Which one of them?" Nick asked sarcastically, causing Jamie to slightly whack him on his arm. "What? Mimi knows I'm only joking."_

_"You all remember Adam," I said as he returned to the table, pulling it out a little further to accommodate his height. Jamie and Chelsea introduced themselves to the blond and he was quick to reciprocate._

_I was happy when small talk fell among the members of the table. It gave my heart a chance to slow its beating to some semblance of normalcy. I was sitting between the two most important men in my life. It was a little overwhelming, but after a few moments, the feeling changed. Everything began to feel how normal. Adam fit right in: schmoozing my aunts, joking around with my cousins, and trying his best to gain my father's favor. I felt like if I disappeared from the room, Adam would still belong. He just had a way of making himself feel like home in any situation._

_A waiter came to take mine and Adam's drink order. The others had already been served. There were no menus in the room as with any private party, there was a special prix-fixe meal for the whole group. For business meetings, it allowed the party to spend more time discussing specifics and information. For this type of familial meeting, it left too much time for embarrassing family banter. _

_I made it through the first ten minutes with little problem, but then..._

_"So, what first attracted you to our dear Nami?"_

_"Aunt Em!" I exclaimed, my cheeks turning red as all attention switched to my blond boyfriend._

_"Just curious," she murmured with a smile._

_"It's okay, beautiful. I don't mind," Adam responded with a toothy grin. I groaned and sunk back into the leathered cushion of the chair. "I don't know how much you all know about the past Diva Search competitions, but from the very beginning, we all knew that this version was different. They selected prospective Divas that were a little more than just ass and..." _

_I kicked his shin underneath the table and turned to give him a pointed stare. Not only was his language not exactly gentlemanly, he was beginning to gesture to his own chest. I was red-faced enough. And besides Tom and Nick, none of the other attendants of this dinner really knew much of the profession. I sort of wanted to keep it that way. Watching the broadcasts was one thing, but actually knowing the backstage atmosphere and history? They had learned enough in my book. _

_"Nami was different," Adam croaked out after a nervous chuckle. I rolled my eyes at the statement, as I had heard it before but had yet to truly feel it. I saw that Adam had seen my silent gesture and was slightly annoyed. "She still is, whether she wants to believe it or not."_

_"You two are so adorable," my Aunt Roberta murmured with a tender smile, as she watched our exchange._

_"Sickening is more like it," Nick muttered with a chuckle as he brought his glass of beer to his lips. I glowered his way, but he just rose his eyebrows in humor as he downed the rest of the amber liquid in his glass._

_"The first time I met her, she tried her best to keep me at arm's length. She wouldn't even look me in the eye," Adam continued, as I tried my best to act calm. I honestly did feel like disappearing at the moment. "I now know the reason - her story and all - but at the time, I found her to be interesting. Normally, the prospective Divas were all over the talent, trying their best to get a little bit of edge..."_

_"Is the pun intended?" Tom teased._

_If I thought my cheeks couldn't get any redder, I was surely wrong after that comment. It wasn't the first time I had heard a joke of that manner, but I was never quite ready for it. Adam just laughed heartedly, not at all affected by it. Our total converse reactions caused chuckling to spring up amongst much of the table including my father. I just sunk a little lower in my seat and waited for Adam to continue._

_"I guess in Nam's case it is," Adam said with a wink my way, actually responding to Tom's joke. I just shook my head and began picking little pieces off of my dinner roll, hoping that this topic of conversation would be finished soon. "But she wanted nothing to do with me at first. I told her I would be watching her more or less to just have fun with one of the new girls. I didn't have really any intention on following through with it. But one night..."_

_Adam's voice trailed off and I looked over his way. His eyes seemed distant and a large smile was slowly stretching across his lips. I was about to interject before another member of the table could, but Adam continued his tale._

_"One night, we met up at the hotel after a show," he said, as if he was remembering the night in his mind while he spoke. "She was off in a small alcove of the lobby staring at her reflection in a large wall mirror. I just stood back and watched her as she surveyed her battle wounds from only a few weeks of training." _

_It was odd hearing Adam talk about our first real meeting. I never knew what was going through his mind on that night. I looked around the table and saw that my family was also fully engrossed in the account. My father gave me a warm smile before his attention returned to the man to my right. I felt my cheeks returning to their natural hue. I just hoped that that lasted. _

_"She looked so fragile, her eyes reflecting a childlike wonderment as she stared down at the purple marks that had formed on her arms," Adam continued and my eyes sought out his own once more. He no longer seemed to be answering my aunt's question. He was lost in his own memory. "I was so struck because I remembered doing the same thing when I first started out. Yet I had the luxury of growing as a performer in basements with maybe twenty people in attendance, not arenas full of thousands of screaming fans. The public never really realizes how hard it is to do what we do, and having to learn with so many watching - a heavy burden to bear."_

_"Especially when she wasn't a wrestler to begin with," Nick imparted in an amused tone._

_"You know, I am sitting right here," I retorted, turning to look at him. Jamie leaned over and whispered something in her fiancé's ear. He quickly shrugged her off with a dismissive shake._

_"Mimi's like my sister," he replied with a smile. "I know she doesn't mind."_

_I didn't, but it was still odd to be hearing such personal details about my relationship in front of my closest family members. I shot a glance over my shoulder to catch my father's eyes for a second time. Yet now he seemed lost in his mind, and I hoped he wasn't dwelling on the physical pain that I once endured. _

_My attention was distracted when my hand was grabbed lightly underneath the table. I turned to my other side and caught Adam's gaze. He looked as if he was unsure if he should continue his tale, especially since the table had fallen into an awkward silence. I slightly shrugged my shoulders, reaching with my free hand for my wine glass. _

_"So, when did you really fall for her: before or after the whole Confessions fiasco?" Nick asked, causing me to almost spit out my Pinot Grigio. I swallowed with wide eyes as I stared down my cousin from across the table._

_"Hey! It wasn't a fiasco," I retorted, my brows knitting together in frustration._

_"Nam fell for me the first night we truly met," Adam joked before I could say any more. He squeezed my hand lightly, as if he was silently trying to calm me down. It was really just my nerves from this dinner getting the better of me (and the very personal nature of the conversation). "The night I was just talking about... I taught her how to fall."_

_"How to fall?" my Aunt Roberta said, a confused expression falling on her features."I don't think I understand."_

_"In wrestling, there are a few basic maneuvers that you need to learn before you can even put the most basic of a match together," Adam explained, looking around the expanse of the table at his captivated audience. "A basic grapple, how to run the ropes, and maybe most important, how to fall to the mat."_

_"And you taught her how to do all those things?"my Aunt Emily asked._

_"Just the falling bit," Adam responded with a chuckle and shake of his head. His thumb began to trace circles across my hand and I felt my body relax for the first time since arriving. "I think she probably hated the way I went about it, but at least she learned."_

_All of the members of the table turned their eyes to me. I peered at them from behind my wine glass as I took a long sip. I swallowed and chuckled as they seemed to be waiting on more of an explanation. Yet I wanted to keep some details between myself and Adam._

_"Don't ask," I mumbled with a dismissive shake of my head, as I sat my almost empty glass back on the white tablecloth._

_"But to answer the question," Adam continued, taking all of the attention back to him. "I was in love with her before I heard about her journal being published, but it has grown much deeper these past few months."_

_"So sweet," my Aunt Roberta murmured. _

_I smiled and nodded her way, but found my gaze straying quickly back to my boyfriend. His green irises gleamed in the soft light of the small room, and I was beginning to feel the rest of the table slip away. I felt everything - all my work and personal problems - dissipate as well and there was only Adam. I wished that there was a way to bottle up the feeling and keep it for whenever the world got the better of me._

_"I knew I was in love with her the first night I went to sleep with her being my final thought and awakening with the same emotion," Adam continued. "And the funny thing is she wasn't even around."_

_"When?" I asked breathlessly, as a few tears began to form in the corners of my eyes. I no longer cared about our surroundings. Looking in his eyes, it was only Adam, and I was so overcome by his last confession._

_"It was when you were in Puerto Rico on tour," he answered tenderly, turning so I was the only thing in his gaze. "I was at home with my injured jaw, stewing at the fact that the woman I had fallen for didn't seem to be as perfect as I thought she was."_

_"Huh?" I heard my cousins mumble, but neither Adam nor I paid them any heed. _

_My mind was transported back to a year ago. I was still so confused in every aspect of my life. I had just quit my job at Hachette. My undercover story was in limbo in because of it. Yet more importantly, my personal life was being torn in two opposing directions. Adam and I were on a break, but my heart still longed for him. Jeff and I were close friends, but both seemed slightly interested in trying for something more._

_"I mentally made a list of all your faults. Every imperfection I could think of," Adam continued, a warm smile spreading across his lips. "And they all just made me know what I think I had always known, that I had fallen so deep in love with you."_

_I felt a tear slip from my eye and make its way down my cheek. Adam reached out with his free hand and brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. I leaned into his touch, reveling in the feelings that were stirring around inside. There was nothing but love in my heart at the moment; love and total contentment because I was cherished so fully by the most amazing man in the world. _

_"I told myself that the next time I got you alone, I would tell you how I felt," he said softly, his hand still tenderly resting on my cheek. "That you were always in my thoughts."_

_"And did you?" my Aunt Roberta asked._

_"The next time I saw you alone was a half a week later after Raw," Adam said, his full concentration on my eyes even though he had answered my aunt's question. "You were at the hotel waiting to talk to Jeff, but got to talk to me instead."_

_I slightly nodded in response. I had wanted to speak with Jeff about our romantic encounter in Puerto Rico. I was so confused about what my heart was feeling and in the WWE atmosphere, I didn't have any down time to truly think things through. I just stumbled along and tried to get by. Yet always in the back of my mind was Adam. That night in the hotel lobby, I thought it was a sign. I wanted to see Jeff, but got Adam instead. My heart never looked back since._

_"Once again, you were the one to truly confirm your feelings for me," Adam continued with a laugh. "I told you that I wanted to be with you, but you took it further and actually told me that you loved me... something that I had yet to do in our relationship."_

_I never held it against Adam that he didn't say 'I love you' until months into our relationship. Actually, I was happy for it. When he did finally say those three words, I knew it was coming from his heart. It wasn't just a phrase he felt obligated to say - he really meant it._

_"I wanted it to be right," he admitted soothingly, brushing away a few more stray tears from my cheeks. "I wanted to be sure that I had learned from my mistakes. So the next night, when I finally did utter those three words, there was no second thought in my heart that I knew it was true. I loved you then and I love you even more now."_

_We both shifted in our chairs, our foreheads pressing together. I heard noise coming from the rest of the party, but never wavered in paying full attention to the love of my life. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, savoring the intimacy of the moment even though it was clearly a very public affair. My lips instinctively searched and found his. After all he said, I needed to feel him. I needed to feel the love that he held in his heart._

_It didn't seem like my cousin Tom felt the same way._

_"Thank God, the food is here."_

* * *

"_Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends_."

"You remember all that?" I asked, surprised that the words his mother had uttered on his first wedding day had stuck with him after all this time.

"Only because I believed the words to be true," Adam replied sincerely. "I still do, but now I see that the meaning is so much deeper than I had once deemed. _You_ make those words true to me."

"Same here," I murmured, leaning up a small distance to capture his lips in my own.

A few tears had formed in the corners of my eyes and I felt like a fool for having ever doubted him and his love. I may not have assuaged every lingering doubt, but many had dissipated with his words. I parted my lips, running my tongue along the crease of his own, but he pulled back. I looked at him questioningly, but he just hopped off of the desk. Grabbing my hand in his, he led me out of the room and toward his bedroom.

Once inside, his lips were on mine once more. He blindly tugged me over to his bed, laying me down on the mattress with great ease. He climbed on top of my form, our lips breaking ever so slightly to get used to the new lying position. Unlike before, Adam was quick to match the passion of the kiss stroke for stroke. He happily sucked my tongue into his mouth, only pulling back at times to nip lightly at my lips.

Needing to break for air, our lips broke apart and Adam rolled to the side. He pulled me closer to him, my head coming to rest over his frantic heartbeat. I smiled as I listened to the pace gradually slow. I felt content and like I owed him for all he had done.

"I have never loved anyone as much as I love you," I whispered seriously, pressing a kiss to his cotton-clad chest where his heart was beating away. "I never thought that love felt this way. Like you, I don't even think I knew what love truly was."

"Wanna talk about it?" Adam retorted jokingly, mimicking my own relentless drive to get him to open up. Yet even though it was said slightly in jest, I could tell that he was interested in hearing about my romantic past. He knew that I was really with only one other person and that things didn't end so well. That was the extent of his knowledge. He never asked about it, so I never felt the need to say anything.

"Caleb was..." I started, breaking off to try and find the words to explain what we had. It was hard because I hadn't really thought about that relationship in quite some time. Adam was the only man in my heart anymore. "Well, I guess you could say he was my first love. But it was so different than what we share. I don't even know if now I can consider it really being love, but maybe it is just that time has tempered it."

"First love is still _love_, beautiful," Adam murmured, as he began to trace soothing circles through my hair with his fingers. He seemed content to listen, so I took a deep breath and decided to continue on with my story.

"He lived two doors down. We met in preschool. I still remember going over to his house almost every day to play on his huge swing set in his backyard," I recalled, as flashes of the blue and white house came jumping into my mind. I now could understand a little bit of what Adam was feeling during his earlier speech. It was quite easy to get lost in the past. "My father was working and my mother was in and out of the hospital, so I really needed a distraction even at that early age from the world around me."

I took a deep breath and tried to decide when in the past to pick up the story. Adam's account of his relationships differed greatly from my own. I knew Caleb since I could even remember making memories. Adam met his partners when he was already a matured man. It was such a different relationship that the two of us young children shared. We grew up together, knew everything about each other, and felt like we were each other's better half. I didn't really know how to express that in words, especially when I couldn't have been anymore wrong.

"When we moved on to grade school, we sort of grew apart," I recalled, deciding to just give a basic outline like he had done previously. "He was into baseball and I was trying my best to become a Power Ranger."

"Oh really, and how did that work out for you?" Adam asked mockingly, as I laughed at my own childhood naivety.

"Shut up," I replied, shoving his chest lightly as I pulled my head back to stare into his mirth filled eyes. "I've seen pictures of you as a young kid in KISS makeup so..."

"KISS is real," he stated with a smirk. It seemed like he was about to respond once more about my childhood occupational aspiration, so I quickly continued. I was embarrassed enough and was sure that my face had already changed a nice shade of pink.

"By middle school, we had become close friends again and at the start of high school decided to date," I stated hurriedly, causing Adam's lips to fall shut. I smiled and took my original position on his chest, his heartbeat giving me the power to continue, even as some bittersweet memories flooded my mind. "It all seemed to be working perfectly for us. Childhood friends that turn into something more. High school sweethearts that would go on to get married, have a bunch of kids, and grow old together. At least, that is what I wanted to believe at the time. I think that was the reason I stuck around so long."

Caleb was the only guy I ever could see myself with. All through high school when my friends were saying that I needed to date more than just one person, I was steadfast in knowing what my heart wanted. I didn't need confirmation that Caleb was the one for me. I felt it in my heart. Yet as we grew up, things changed. _We_ changed, and the fairytale relationship that I thought I had was just a figment of my imagination.

"At the end of our relationship, I think we both were together so we wouldn't have to be alone," I recalled solemnly, thinking back to my freshman year of college. He was more of a safety crutch than a boyfriend. Someone that I could say _I belonged to _instead of _being in loved with_. With all the changes in my life, he stayed the one constant, even though the feelings were no longer there. "It was a safe relationship, but not a truly loving one."

"Which one of you finally made the break?" Adam asked after a few moments of silence. I was trying my best to not dredge past hurtful memories of our final year together. I now fully understood how hard it was for Adam to open up, because I was having the same difficulty.

"I did," I muttered hoarsely, not fully trusting my voice with all of the emotion swelling in me. "Well, he sort of forced my hand."

"He cheat on you?" he asked darkly, his chest tightening up at my last statement.

And it was that reaction that made a small smile form on my lips. Adam was trying to be my protector, even from things that happened long ago. Just like I was able to break some of his gloomy thoughts in his office, he was able to pull me out of my own mind (and he didn't even know it).

"I don't think so," I replied truthfully. "But I was never sure."

"What happened?" he asked softly, his body relaxing underneath me.

"There was this girl," I murmured with a sigh, as an image of her and Caleb fluttered into my mind. Even though I was over the love I once held for him, it still hurt to remember the betrayal. "I think you might have met her at a party a year or so ago."

Actually, I knew for a fact they did, but didn't want to stay on her any longer than I had to. She was at the New Year's party at Stephen's house when Adam and I were only a month or so into our relationship. After an obligatory introduction, she was trying her best to catch his eye, doing the same teasing flirtation that caused Caleb to stray. Adam _didn't_... not even a blink.

"Christy went to high school with both of us and always had a thing for Caleb," I explained, knowing that after the party, he never really got an explanation to why I loathed her as much as he witnessed. "She would flirt with him every chance she got. In high school, he just shrugged it off. But during our college years, he was much more receptive. All three of us ended up at the same school, but as you know, college and high school: totally different experiences."

The Caleb I loved never came to college with me. He was stuck back in high school and in my memories. He was not the same boy that I thought that I had loved, and it hurt to want to move on. It hurt to even talk about it.

"Our relationship had died the day we graduated and we were just willing it along out of habit. We were a sole unit in high school, but in college, we became totally different people," I continued softly, not wanting to admit how affected I was becoming over having to share these intimate details with him. It seemed that not only were we learning about each other today; we we're also learning about ourselves.

"We both might not want to have believed it, but we never stood a chance," I said dejectedly, causing Adam to lightly pull me into a position where he could see my eyes. With my chin resting on his breast bone, he brushed a few stray tendrils of hair away from my eyes. "After catching both of them in a pretty compromising position, I knew it was truly over."

My eyes focused on Adam's chin instead of his piercing gaze. I thought back to that night years ago when I let Caleb go. I couldn't hold onto him just because of a naive fantasy that everything would work... that the two of us would become the _Caleb and Nami_ that we once were.

Now, my mind was fully wrapping around Adam's own situation. Maybe he felt the same way: not wanting to let go of something that you once thought was built to last. Even though our relationships and failings were vastly different, there were similarities at the core.

"So this compromising position would be?" Adam asked softly, even though I could sense anger in his tone.

"It's not important," I muttered, not really wanting to bring the image to my mind, as I wanted to remember my relationship with Caleb solely on the good moments.

"Level with me, Nam," he replied, reaching down to stroke my cheek, imploring my eyes to meet his. "Talking might help ease the pain."

I had to chuckle slightly at that response. This was coming from the master of dodging talks of history. I lifted my gaze to his own, his eyes pleading to know what my former flame had done to cause me so much pain. I sighed and dropped my gaze once more, knowing that I couldn't face him as I relived the memory.

"I went to visit him at his parents' house right after our sophomore year," I recalled, trying to concentrate on his stubble instead of the images that were replaying in my mind. "His mother let me in; said Caleb was upstairs. When I made it to the top step, I heard laughter, mostly feminine coming from his slightly parted door a few yards away. When I pushed the door open, she was down on her knees in front of him."

"I thought you said..."

"They were fully clothed," I continued, not allowing him to interrupt. "But there was some gleam in his eye that I hadn't seen for months. He had his hand on her cheek and... When he looked over at the now opened door, I saw no guilt. He looked relieved."

I rolled off of him, pulling myself into a cross-legged sitting position a foot away. I reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes that were threatening to fall. There was more I could have said. I could have told him about Christy and her lame excuse of searching for an earring, all the while having a shit-eating grin plastered on her lips. I could have... there was no sense reliving it anymore. I had moved on to something much better. That was all I needed to remember.

"From that night on, I promised myself that I would never say _I love you_ unless I meant it," I said softly, looking down at my hands. I was trying to keep myself in control emotionally. "I wanted a love that wasn't based out of necessity. I wanted a true, all encompassing love that would wrap me in its embrace and never let me go. I knew that I was hoping for a fairytale type of love, but it was the only thing I would accept."

"You saying I'm your Prince Charming?" Adam asked lightheartedly as I finally looked up to meet his tender gaze.

"As close as I could ever think of getting," I said humorously but truthfully. Adam reached out and grasped my hand, tugging me back on top of him. "I meant it, you know. I kept my vow. The next time I said those words was to you... and I meant it every time."

"And you say that I am the charmer," he mumbled.

He leant his head up slightly to capture my lips in a gentle kiss. It was nowhere as intense as normal. It was nice and light, reflecting the love that we shared for one another.

He let his head fall back down to his mountain of pillows; our lips sliding apart. He pulled me down to his chest once more, my head seeking out the rhythm of his heart. I smiled, letting my eyes fall shut. I felt lighter, like an emotional weight was gone. I wondered if Adam felt the same. I felt like maybe for the first time I was ready to move forward.

"So, where do we begin?" I murmured into his chest.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Adam responded, confusion evident in his tone. I flicked my eyes up to his, a smile on my lips.

"Planning a wedding," I explained, causing a wide, bright smile to spread across my fiancé's lips. "You've done it before and I am lost at where to even start."

"You start just like this."

It started the same way many fairytales ended - with a kiss.

* * *

**Next Chapter: Some fatherly advice and revisiting a tragic trip to Cameron.**

Please review! :-)


	13. I'm There

A.N. - I don't own WWE and its associated Superstars. To everyone who has read and especially reviewed - **THANK YOU!** I know that it has been a long time, but as everyone can attest to, sometimes life just gets in the way.

**Kris21xX, SandraSmit19, ResplendentAnarchist, Rainbowbrite006, RieeBella, Hardy skittles05, ThereAre666Ways2Love, teeetotalled -** Your reviews make this story possible. I just hope that my updates will come in a more timely fashion. I have learned my lesson of promising that, but I do have a bunch of things for this story written so... fingers crossed! :-)

* * *

Saturday September 6, 2008  
4:27 PM - Adam's House: Tampa, FL

"So, that's the tour of the place."

I smiled with a sweep of my arms as we returned to our original location: the still hardly ever used and overly decorative sitting room. But that was hopefully soon going to change. Even though I still wasn't fully used to living in Adam's house, I was happy that we had decided to start redecorating the interior. Most of the decor was done by a professional with the help of Adam's first wife. This time - Adam and I were going to do it together.

"Very nice."

I smiled at my father as he went back to surveying some of the artwork on the walls. I was happy that he decided to come down for the weekend. We hadn't seen each other since before my engagement. We still talked on the phone almost every night, but living in Florida prevented me from seeing him as often as I would have liked. I was planning on making a trip back up the coast for a visit, but my father beat me to it.

"Sorry about the overly _periwinkleness_ of your room," I remarked with a chuckle. "And all of the teddy bears adorning it. The other guest room is sort of..."

"I saw," my father interrupted with a laugh of his own. The main guest room was overwhelmed with a lot of my own personal belongings that were still trying unsuccessfully to find a home here. "It's perfectly fine. I just hope I'm not intruding on anything."

"Intruding?" I replied humorously with a dismissive wave of my hand as I sat down on the oversized sofa. "Dad, Adam is off on a hiking trip. He won't be back until tomorrow, so I am happy for the company."

After Adam and I had our big emotional 'spring cleaning', we both felt much better about our relationship and how it was progressing. Adam was no longer upset that the wedding had yet to be discussed, and I was thankful that he had fully opened up about his past. Even though it made him relive many of his own personal and painful failings, our talk allowed me to finally realize what my heart knew all along: Adam Copeland was the perfect man for me.

The words that he spoke allowed me to understand his motivations. I never blamed him for his past actions. I was a little wary of history repeating itself, but never saw him as the villain that some of my friends painted him out to be. Love was an emotion that caused even the greatest people to turn into fools. Caring about someone other than yourself to such an extent was bound to cause some strife... and that was what Adam did. He loved and _loved big_. He went after what he wanted with his full heart, but wasn't exactly ready for all of the consequences.

Yet all of those relationships had come to an end and not on the best of terms. Amy and Adam spoke regularly and were still good friends. His two ex-wives were another story. He spoke to Alannah on occasion because he was still close friends with her brother. According to Adam, he hadn't spoken to Lisa in years. He said there was nothing left to discuss and that he was part of a past she wanted to move beyond. I couldn't blame her in the slightest.

Even though we had talked over both of our past romances, I still couldn't shake all of my nagging doubts. There was this one little voice in the back of my head that still would not be silenced. I didn't know what else could be done. I could no longer go to Adam; he had opened his heart and soul to me. It was a huge gesture on his part, one that I was honestly not expecting. He spoke so openly, and I couldn't tell him that it wasn't enough. It should have been.

"I thought you would've wanted some alone time; just the two of you," my father said, interrupting my circling thoughts. I turned my attention to his seated form and gave a slight smile. "He's been off tour for a few weeks now, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, you know me too well," I replied with a large grin.

It was the main reason that I hadn't sought the solace that only home in New Jersey could provide. I wanted to build my relationship with Adam. There was still repair that needed to be done on my part as well. We hardly spoke of it, but I knew that Adam still wasn't fully over the deceit during my tenure with the WWE. He said that it didn't bother him now that he knew the truth, but I could tell that wasn't genuinely sincere.

"Not that I would have ever pictured you living here," my father mumbled, in such a hushed tone that it seemed like the comment was meant for his ears alone.

My eyes narrowed. I had had enough of people questioning my motives. My friends in New York, Jeff, Randy and now even _my father_... It made me think that my own lingering doubts were being facilitated by all of the people around me.

"Do you mean _'in Florida'_ or _'with Adam'_?" I asked curtly, causing my father to hold up his hand in defense.

_"In Florida_," he replied genuinely, seemingly amused by my previous tone. "I don't doubt the feelings that your both share for each other... even if you seem to."

"That's in the past," I murmured, but I knew that the words couldn't fool the man sitting in front of me.

"You sound just like your mother," he responded wistfully, his eyes becoming lost in the memories that were surely playing his mind.

"Mom had doubts about marriage? About marrying you?" I asked hesitantly.

We didn't speak much about my mother, besides small comments here and there. Whenever we discussed things in detail, it was very emotional, as neither of us fully recovered from her death. I may have been young when it happened, but I knew how much I missed out on by not having her there.

"Everyone has doubts. You would know something is wrong with the relationship if everything was perfect," he replied. "No matter what anyone tells you, _nothing_ in this world is perfect."

"I know, but..."

I trailed off and looked away from his earnest, caring gaze. I didn't really have the words that could explain my feelings. I knew that no half-truths would appease or fool my father. But I wasn't sure what the truth was. It was unknown to me as well.

"A year after we got married, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks. She had a flu that wasn't going away and caused fluid to situate around her heart," my father recalled, his mind just as lost in past as Adam's was a few days ago. Even though he was speaking, I could tell his focus was on his own memories. "It was at that time that she really took up reading books on motivational thinking and philosophy. She needed something besides medicine to help her get through it."

My mother was never really a healthy woman. Her heart problems flared up in middle school and plagued her until her early death. During my life, the few years that she was alive, much time was spent in and out of hospitals. It was still hard to this day to look at the multitude of pictures taken for birthdays and Christmases spent in the sterile, unfeeling hospital room that she was confined to. She looked so frail, but I knew her spirit was strong up until the end (even if I could not fully remember it).

"She came across a quotation that she said summed up the love that we shared. _'We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly,'" _my father continued, only stumbling briefly over the quotation that seemed imbedded in his soul. "I think it was during that time that she finally got over all of the doubts that she had about us."

"But you had been married for..."

"That is what I am trying to tell you. Don't let the doubts overwhelm you," my father interrupted, reaching over the coffee table to take my left hand in his. "They will be there, until you find it in your soul to let them go. Nothing Adam can say or do will make them go away. It is up to you."

"And Mom did it by reading a line in a book?" I questioned jokingly, not thinking that my father was really understanding my mindset. "Doesn't sound like she was really doubting the relationship to begin with."

"That is where you are wrong," he replied with a shake of his head, squeezing my hand slightly to emphasize his earnestness. "Your mother saw her health problems as a burden. That it made her less of a woman to me... that it made her a responsibility instead of a partner. She couldn't be further from the truth, but no matter what I said or did, nothing changed."

I could see a relation between Adam and my father in his words. Neither my mother or myself would listen to the men we loved. Too hard-headed, I guess. It just reinforced what I had begun to believe - that Adam's past was not my problem; it was my own insecurities about actually being Adam's wife. What did I have that his two previous wives didn't? Why was he so sure that I was "the one"?

"I knew about her heart problems. Yet that never stopped me from pursuing her," my father continued. "She could never see what I saw when I looked at her. Yet in that quotation, somehow the clouds cleared in her mind and she understood. She might not have been perfect, but that didn't make me love her less. She was my heart."

"I know," I murmured, looking down at our intertwined hands. My eyes caught the glittering light reflecting in center diamond of my engagement ring and made my mind shift to Adam.

Seeing _an imperfect person perfectly_ - that could definitely be applied to Adam and I... or at least, I hoped it could be. I knew we weren't beyond every problem in our relationship. Yet the more and more I thought on it, I was coming to fully realize how it didn't really have to do with Adam as a person. It was all about me and my own fears - fears of abandonment... of loss... of being unloved.

It was the main reason that Adam's past scared me so much. Ever since my mother's death, a part of me was always scared of being left alone. It was the main emotion that I could recall when I thought of that young time in my life. It was so long ago that memories had faded, but the feelings remained. As a child, my stuffed animal collection got me through. But I needed more than cotton and stuffing now.

"It's a nice ring."

I was startled by my father's voice and slightly jumped in my seat. I pulled my far-away gaze to my father and smiled. He gestured down to our enclosed hands, as he was aware that I was not really all there when he had spoke.

"Thanks," I said, knowing that he had never seen the unique piece of jewelry that symbolized Adam's love. "Want to see?"

"Adam showed me," he replied with a grin.

"Huh?" I stammered, as my mind tried to process his statement.

Adam proposed a week after he got back from an overseas tour. And the last time that I knew the pair had seen each other was at a get-together for my birthday, which was a month and a half before his proposal. Had he really been planning it for that long?

"The week before he proposed, he came to New Jersey for a talk," my father responded evenly, even though I could see a crinkle of amusement in his eyes.

The wonderment in my expression morphed into admiration for all Adam had done. He had said that he spent the weekend before our engagement (which was supposed to be a date weekend in New York) working on his proposal. I guess in a way_, he was_, just not in Florida... but in New Jersey.

"Did he..."

"He set it up. Called when he was in Australia on tour the week before," my father answered, before I could even pose the question. "I told him that it must've been pretty important to call from halfway across the world. He didn't let on the reason for the visit, just said that he needed to speak with me."

"But you knew?" I asked, even though the coy smile that had fallen on his lips gave the answer away.

"Considering how nervous he sounded - I knew," he replied with a laugh.

I smiled as we both let our hands fall free. The time for emotional comfort had subsided and we had fallen into more comforting conversation. We both leaned back into our respected seats as I tried to phrase my next thought. I wanted to ask about Adam's visit, but didn't want to invade either man's privacy.

"So... you two talked," I said in a leading tone, hoping that he would take the bait.

"More or less, I just listened."

I waited a few moments for him to continue. I stared at him expectantly, but he just continued smiling. Being his daughter, I could tell he knew what I wanted from him, but he was not about to cave.

"I had no idea that he..." I started, but drifted off in thought and curiosity. "So, he told you he was going to propose?"

"He asked for my blessing," my father said with a nod, a serene expression falling over his features. Yet in his eyes, I could sense a bit of pain. Even though I would always be _Daddy's Little Girl_, there was a new man who was the center of my life - one whom he actually conceded that association to.

"Really?" I asked, the word being choked out from my throat as my emotions began to swirl.

"He realized that you are the most important person in my life," he replied tenderly. "He wanted my permission to ask for your hand."

"You make it sound so formal," I said, trying my best to keep all of my emotions in check.

"Well, what do you think it is?" he responded rhetorically, likely chuckling at the fact I was so taken aback by Adam's gesture. It was just that it meant so much to know that Adam had visited my father; that he was so serious about this relationship that he sought my father for approval.

"I guess," I murmured, even though I knew his query needed no reply. "So did you say yes?"

"The ring is on your finger, isn't it?" he replied to my joking inquiry, his eyes gleaming more than they should in that moment.

I could tell that he knew what I was trying to do - that I was really trying to find out more about Adam's visit. He looked at me knowingly, and I knew that it seemed that I was never going to get the answers I wanted. I sighed; my wheedling usually worked on my father.

"You're not going to tell me what you two talked about, huh?" I asked dejectedly.

"Nope," he replied with a grin.

I could see in his eyes that my father would waver. I knew that I would have better luck asking Adam now that I knew about the visit. I could even use the _complete honesty_ pact that our relationship had undertaken. Yet I was unsure if I would really want to press Adam if he was as steadfast as my father about not discussing the trip. Maybe sometimes, things were best kept secret. If it helped endear Adam to my father even more than he already seemed to be, I was all for it.

But there was something that was nagging at my subconscious during the reveal of Adam's visit. When I originally discussed my engagement with my father - thinking that he had not already been told - he seemed upset. He told me that I was rushing into things and that I would probably end up discontented. Yet everything he had just said was contradictory to that notion.

"You seemed sort of upset when I told you the news," I said, hoping that this was one thing he would be open to discussing with me.

"I wasn't upset about the engagement," he prefaced after a few moments of tense silence between us. "I was upset about your plans to just pack up and leave everything that you have ever known. I didn't want you to rush into things that would just make yourself unhappy."

"I'm not unhappy that I am engaged," I vented, hating that his words almost mirrored what they had been a few months prior.

Sure, I still got homesick every once in a while and hadn't fully adapted to the Florida culture and climate yet, but I was happy. And with Adam being around, it just made every negative about my decision to move South dissipate. His presence made up for any other heartache I might have felt.

"I never said that," my father stated firmly. "I didn't want you to ever blame Adam from taking you away from your life and everything you had ever known. And when you told me that you were planning on moving in a few weeks - without really giving it serious thought - I was concerned."

"I did give it thought!" I exclaimed, jumping up from my seat in annoyance.

"Nami, please," my father soothed, as I looked down at his seated form with a scornful glare. I had enough people on my back about my relationship; I didn't need it from my father as well. "I know you."

"Yes, I know. But I did think about my decision, and I don't regret it," I said through slightly gritted teeth. I was trying my best to understand that my father only wanted what was best for me. But everything from the past few weeks had just caused my nerves to be frazzled beyond belief. "I'm learning to like it here... and it's not like it is going to be forever."

"How do you know? Have you talked with Adam about it?" my father posed. I regretted my last statement immediately.

"Adam and I don't do much talking about the future, " I muttered sheepishly, hoping that I could backtrack from discussing the communication issue between Adam and I.

The reason I divulged about not living in Florida 'forever' was because I could not see this state as our final destination. Adam had said numerous times that Florida was convenient for the lifestyle he led. The nearby airport was a hub that had flights from most other major cities. The mild to balmy weather caused little to no hindrances when leaving his house alone for days to weeks on end. And of course, the low property tax was just an added bonus (especially with all of the out of pocket money he spent on travel and lodging while on tour).

"Have you started to plan the wedding?" my father asked. I bit my lip, knowing that my misstep had caused this. He saw an opening to ask his own questions about my relationship and its progress, but I couldn't blame him. I was unsure how he would process the answers. I feared that it would just lead him to believe that he was right in his assumptions about me rushing into things. "Or are you going to have a long engagement?"

"We decided to start planning," I offered with a nervous chuckle, fidgeting in my standing position under his gaze. "But we haven't actually done any... yet."

"Adam isn't going to be on a break forever," he replied, his disappointment shining through the tenor of his voice. I frowned and looked down at my feet, feeling like a five year old being reprimanded for being foolish once again. "You should try and figure things out while you have the chance."

"We will," I replied quickly, but refused to lift my gaze.

After Summerslam, I had felt truly alone. Since moving to Florida, I relied so much on my former WWE co-workers to keep me sane. Whether it was late night phone calls from the Legend Killer or random visits from Chris, it made me secure that I could belong in Adam's world. Being backstage at events was always slightly awkward because how I had left the company, but nothing was as uncomfortable as Summerslam. People who I thought I could count on made me feel more like a stranger than a friend.

Jeff not willing to rationally talk with me hurt the most. I could look past Randy's icy comments. I could forget about some of my former Diva pals acting as if I never existed. But Jeff continued to haunt my thoughts. I wanted him to be part of my life. I _needed_ him to be part of my life in some way. Even after all of the words we had exchanged, he was still a part of me. Yet I didn't know if I would ever be able to get through to him.

"And yet you still look unsure," my father offered cautiously.

"You just said that I shouldn't be concerned about doubts," I seethed, my eyes rising to lock on to his own hazel irises.

"The look on your face tells me that this is more than just about some doubts."

"And what do you mean..."

With one word, he was able to stifle any other sound from emanating from my throat.

"Jeff."

* * *

_Monday March 17, 2008  
11:33 AM - Hachette Book Group: New York Office_

_I smiled as I flopped down into my desk chair. Even though things were still not perfect at work, I could not erase the smile that had adorned my face since Wednesday night. Danielle was still giving me the cold shoulder; Mr. Williams was giving me busy work instead of actual accounts to oversee; but none of it mattered. _

_I reached out and ran the pad of my finger along the glass of the new wood frame that decorated my small cubicle's desk. It was a picture of me with the two most important men in my life - a picture that a few months ago I would have doubted would have even been possible. Adam fit in with my family so well... it was like he was a part of it already._

_Adam had to go back out on the road. Tonight he was traveling to Mississippi for a Smackdown taping held tomorrow after spending a busy weekend on the road at live events. When he flew out Friday morning, he said he would try to make it back to the city before Wrestlemania week. I told him to spend the time resting instead of making unnecessary flights for a short visit. Sure, I would love to see him more often, but I knew that his body needed all the rest it could get. Besides, every goodbye was getting harder and harder to say._

_Everything was falling into place with Adam and I. The dinner with my family verified that my relationship with the blond could have some sense of normalcy. He wasn't Edge to them... he was just Adam. There was no real talk of his work; just a little catching up and sharing stories. _

_That night, my father stayed over at the apartment with us. It warmed my heart to see how well my father got along with Adam. They had such a relaxed candor with each other that it could be easy to forget about my relationship's shaky past. Yet that was probably because my father never took my side on the whole 'Confessions' deception. He didn't blame me for the pain I caused, but always felt that Adam was slighted and hurt more than he deserved._

_But Adam and I had seemingly worked through a lot of that hurt and animosity stemming from my book's conception and release. There were many a phone conversation as well as a few tearful (mostly on my part) face to face confessionals that helped soothe some still frayed emotions. Adam said it was easy to forgive me, but hard to forget... especially considering I had inadvertently involved one of his very close friends in the whole mess. _

_The shrill sound of my office phone broke through my thoughts. My smile fell slightly, as I was happy to just be lost in thoughts of Adam, good or bad. The blond just had a way of making everything in my life seem better than it was. I reached out my hand for the receiver, pulling my gaze away from the picture frame and to my computer monitor. Busy work was still "work" after all._

_"Hachette Book Group, Nami Shepherd speaking?"_

_"Hey... sorry that I am bothering you at work."_

_I giggled as a huge smile spread across my lips, the work on my computer monitor forgotten in an instant._

_"I was just thinking about you," I said cheerfully._

_"Oh yeah?" Adam replied in a monotonous tone._

_"Yeah," I mused, the tenor of my voice falling slightly as I thought back to his initial greeting. It was hardly content or even remotely upbeat._

_"So, I don't even know how..." Adam started before drifting off. I heard him mumble something and was about to interrupt. "Have you been following any WWE news online?"_

_"Please, don't tell me you got injured again," I quickly said, an eerie sense of dread coursing through my veins. It was always my biggest fear whenever Adam went out on the road. For some, it was the thought of wandering eyes and unfaithful partners. For me, it was the idea that at any time Adam could push himself too hard and suffer serious consequences._

_"No, no. It's not about me," Adam quickly soothed, causing me to finally let out the breath I was subconsciously holding. "It's just... _fuck_."_

_The feeling of worry once again settled in my bones. Normally, when something big occurred in the world of the WWE, I would hear the news almost instantaneously from either Danielle or Steven. With Danielle and I not on speaking terms and Steven out of the office on sick leave, my well of information had run dry. There was always the internet, but I rarely ever looked up WWE news there. Too much rumor and gossip that I tried my best to avoid (especially considering my name was occasionally present in the conversation)._

_"Adam - what's wrong?" I asked, trying my best to keep my voice calm and level._

_"It's about Jeff," Adam replied with a sigh. My mind quickly raced through many varying scenarios that would have prompted this call. None of them sounded promising. "There was a fire and..."_

_"Please, tell me he is okay," I exclaimed, abruptly cutting of his statement._

_"He wasn't home when it happened... so physically..." Adam replied, trailing off into silence as he let me digest his statement._

_"His home?" I whispered, my mind circling around all of the things that Adam's news could entail._

_"Gone," he responded, barely above a whisper. "Everything... including Jack."_

_"Jesus... when? How? Have you spoken to him? Is..."_

_My queries all ran together as my mind went spinning into overdrive. All of my content feelings were shattered upon news of my best friend's misfortune. I couldn't believe how tragic the past week was for him. Being suspended and missing Wrestlemania was a huge setback in his career... but nothing compared to his whole world going up in flames. He was lucky he was not present, but it was probably only a slight condolence considering the loss of his beloved dog's life._

_"Nam, calm down," Adam soothed softly. I tried my best to steady my mind and breathing, but still felt lost in my raging emotions. "I don't know much besides it happened Friday night and no, I haven't talked to him. According to Hennigan, he hasn't really talked to_ anyone_ since it has happened. Just holed himself up in a guest room in Matt's house. Not like I can really blame him, you know?"_

_"Yeah, I know," I muttered, trying to think if there was anything I could do to help him. _

_The last time we talked, we hadn't left on the best of terms. He came for his surprise visit - the visit that caused my present hellish situation at work. I was not really angry at him, just frustrated. Yet when we parted, it was with some curt goodbyes and promises to talk soon._

_I hadn't heard from him since... but now, I had a better understanding as to why._

_"I just wanted you to hear it from a friend and figured with you and Danielle incommunicado at the moment, I was your best bet," he stated with a sigh. "Maybe, you could call him; see if you can break through."_

_"Not sure if he really wants to talk with me at the moment," I replied faintly. "And not just because of... we are sort of..."_

_"Doesn't hurt to try?" _

_..__**.**_

_"The cavalry has arrived!"_

_I was quickly pulled into the elder Hardy brother's home by a frazzled but slightly upbeat Shannon Moore. The decision to visit Cameron was instantaneous as soon as I realized that Jeff would not be answering his phone. After the fifth call and third rambling voice mail message left, I knew what I needed to do. I wasn't really needed at the office, and knew where my attention could be better served. _

_Living in an area with three major airports came in handy as I was quickly able to find a shortly departing flight to Raleigh. The airline robbed me blind for the only remaining seat; first class for a flight that was only slightly over an hour in duration. But it was of little concern once I actually landed in North Carolina._

_"Thanks for coming," Matt greeted with a small smile as I walked into the spacious living room. I had called en route to LaGuardia Airport with my travel plans - just to make sure that my visit would not be an encumbrance. "I meant to call you a few days ago, but..."_

_"Please, Matt - I understand," I offered sympathetically. "If I had known, I would have come sooner. Adam just told me this morning."_

_"He might have thought you knew," Shannon said with a shrug. "I think he forgets how out of the loop people can be when they are no longer in the company."_

_"Yeah," I mumbled, remembering that I was no longer as close with the Carolina Crew as I once had been. _

_I wished that I could still count myself as a minor player in their group, but I wasn't even on the list anymore. We ran in different circles, and it was just beginning to dawn on me how things could truly never be the same. A year ago, I would have been the first one that Jeff would have called. If he needed consoling or just a shoulder, it would have been me. Now, I was pushed off to the side._

_"How are _you_ holding up?" I asked the elder Hardy brother. He just shrugged from his seat, but I saw the effect that the past few days had on him. His eyes were dull and it looked like he hadn't slept in awhile. It appeared as if his resolve was close to shattering, but knowing Matt, he was trying his best to be strong for his brother._

_"Hanging in there," he muttered with a faint grin. "Can't say the same for Jeff."_

_"Is he around?" I posed, looking around for any sign of either Jeff or his significant other. All I found was a subdued Shannon, something I could say I had never seen._

_"Up in his room... well, what is now considered his room," Matt said glumly. "Beth's at the store picking up some things for them, but he hasn't talked to her since Saturday. He hasn't talked to anyone."_

_"Like I said... '_cavalry_'," Shannon interrupted, gesturing to my standing form. "Maybe she can get a response from the disembodied voice through the door."_

_I sighed, not realizing how bad Jeff was taking things. I thought his whole 'live for the moment' attitude would have shielded him from burrowing himself into the shadow of anguish. Yet it's hard to prepare for what he had gone through, and I had no idea of how I was going to even attempt to break through the gloom._

_"I'll try," I said sheepishly, setting down my purse and pea coat on a nearby chair._

_"Up the stairs, last door on the right," Matt explained, gesturing to the staircase right outside the room._

_I nodded my head, took a deep steadying breath, and walked out of the room. During the short trek up the stairs and down the hallway, I tried to formulate some plan of action. If Jeff was not talking to his brother or Beth, I doubted he would be accepting of my visit. _

_When he had visited my apartment last week, I began to understand how things had changed between us. Even though we wanted to act like the relationship we once shared was unchanged, circumstances were making it harder and harder to do so. I just hoped that sooner rather than later, we could figure out a way to continue being best of friends like we once were. As of now, I wasn't quite sure. And his current situation was not going to make it any easier. _

_I reached the closed white door and raised my hand to knock on the wood. When my hand was only an inch from contact, it stalled. I shifted my weight nervously from foot to foot. Taking one last breath, I let my knuckles come down on the hard surface._

_I waited a few moments, but heard no noise from beyond the closed door. I knocked a few more times, but knew that if I had any chance at reaching him, I would need to speak. I let my hand fall to my side, and softly cleared my throat._

_"Jeff... It's Nami."_

_I listened for any sign of life. Silence was all that was returned. I sighed, leaning forward to rest my forehead on the cool, painted wood. I decided to just open my heart and speak - try and let Jeff know that he was not alone._

_"I... I wish I had the words to help you. But I know that there isn't anything I can say to make your hurt lessen," I said, just loud enough so my words could pass through the closed door. "I just want you to know that I am here for you. Whatever you need... if you need to talk... or just someone to be there."_

_I paused, listening for a response. My ears perked up at a muffled cough, but nothing followed. My small hopeful smile fell back to a frown, as I tried my best to repress a groan. I turned around and leaned my back against the door, resting my flattened palms on the wood. I closed my eyes._

_"I don't assume to know how you are feeling," I continued, hoping that even if he wouldn't respond, he would listen. "But I know that you are... you are... fuck, I really suck at this."_

_I laughed and lightly hit my head against the door._

_"Communication has never been my strong suit," I said, my tone much more jovial than I would have expected. "But Matt and Shannon... Hell, even Adam, thought I would be the one to reach you. I can't understand for the life of me as to why."_

_"Because it's worked before."_

_My eyes opened, startled at the soft feminine voice that answered my statement. I turned my head and saw a somber Beth standing at the other end of the hallway. She beckoned me over with a slight nod of her head as she entered a room a few paces away. I pushed off, sparing one last look at the closed door before following her._

_"It was nice of you to come," Beth said softly, as she set down a few plastic shopping bags on the small mattress. I nodded, but was still puzzled by her original statement. She must have sensed my confusion. "You were a big part of Jeff having a pretty comfortable return to the WWE. Your friendship helped him stay on track, keep focused on why he came back in the first place. You kept him sane."_

_"The feeling was mutual," I replied truthfully, knowing that I couldn't have lasted as long as I had (even with my story fueling my stay) if not for Jeff._

_"I was jealous of you, you know?" Beth said with a slight bitter chuckle. "The way he would talk about you, how well he seemed to just... I don't know. I mean, we were having troubles - even on a break for a time, but I always knew that he was it for me. But then you came along and for the first time, I wasn't sure that he felt the same."_

_I was slightly curious as to why Beth was speaking of these emotions now. Yet I was not going to stop her. She was the one who was grieving and if talking through things that seemed to have no bearing on her current situation helped her, I was not going to hinder it. I didn't know the woman well enough to truly understand her motivations._

_"He feels the same," I stated with a firm nod. "He always did. Things just were a little... a little 'hazy' for a while."_

_"I guess, in a way, I should be happy he didn't respond to you," Beth replied with a small bittersweet grin. I looked away from her with a small frown. I had never realized that she still held so many doubts over her own relationship with Jeff, and primarily because of me. I guess I wasn't the only one in a relationship that seemed to be plagued with reservations._

_"Is there anything you need?" I asked, extending my offer to her as well._

_"What I want, I can't get back," she replied softly, looking down at her clasped hands in her lap. _

_I knew she was speaking of Jack, as a glistening of liquid appeared in her downcast eyes. I was unsure of what to do, but found myself slowly striding toward the bed, sitting down next to the grieving woman. I gently placed my hand on her shoulder in comfort, knowing that no words I could say would help. But maybe just being there was enough._

_And as the tears slowly began to fall - from both pairs of eyes - I knew that it was._

* * *

"Jeff? As in Jeff Hardy," I scoffed, my eyes wide in surprise and frustration. "How could you know anything about... you don't even know him."

"No, I haven't had the pleasure," my father said calmly, as I turned away from him to retake my seat on the sofa. My head was beginning to spin with so many conflicting emotions. "But I have heard you talk about him _- the way_ you talk about him."

"Meaning?" I asked pointedly, my lips pursing at his insinuating tone.

"He is in your heart," he answered.

"I am not in love with him," I quickly responded, shaking my head in dissent.

"I never said that. _You_ did."

I closed my eyes. I had come to the realization that my conflicting feelings for the North Carolina native had made an impression on everyone in my life. Yet now, that was one entity I saw with great clarity (and not just because of the current status of our relationship). What I thought was maybe true love, was really just profound admiration. Not the overly passionate and soul-consuming fashion I felt with Adam, but a deep rooted friendship that I wanted to flourish but seemed destined to fail.

We both seemingly wanted different things from each other - I wanted a confidante, someone to give me support and reassurance that everything would work out in the end. Jeff... well, I wasn't exactly sure what he wanted from me. Besides his abhorrence of my upcoming nuptials, I couldn't read his emotions anymore.

"I will always care for Jeff," I answered, trying my best to pick my words about my friend carefully. "He helped me become who I am today and..."

I broke off as my father gave me an unimpressed look. He knew before I even spoke that I was ready to go into a spiel about things he had no interest in hearing. It would be more of a justification to myself then an admission to him. I shook my head with a sigh, forgetting that even though communication was never my strong suit, it didn't matter with him. He knew me all too well.

"He is a great friend, but it was never truly love," I stated resolutely.

He nodded his head, accepting my words as the truth. I could tell from the look in his eyes that the conversation was not over; that Jeff was probably just a diversion leading into what he actually wanted to discuss.

"Jeff is only one reason for my own misgivings about... well, about..."

"Adam and I?" I interrupted resentfully, causing an instantaneous darkening of his gaze.

"It isn't about your relationship," he replied firmly, but didn't elaborate on his questioning behavior. I allowed for a few moments of silence to stretch out between us, but my patience was wearing thin.

"Then... what?" I asked curtly, crossing my arms across my chest in defensive irritation.

"When the two of you get married, you will want for nothing," my father said calmly, not at all fazed by my frustrated display.

"And that is a good thing, right?" I asked jokingly, not exactly sure what he was getting at.

"Yes, but it also can hurt your relationship if it is not fully solid."

My eyes narrowed as my expression grew even more irritated than before. My father did not continue, but I knew he wanted to. I could see his mind working though the distant gaze of his irises.

"Dad, if you have something to say..." I posed brusquely, not in the mood for any more tangents in conversation. This was never about Jeff and what I might or might not have felt. It was about something else entirely.

"Some of the best memories I have of your mother are from our first year of marriage," he explained, leaning forward to reach out and pull my hand into his grasp.

"The year in which she still had doubts?" I said questioningly, allowing him the physical gesture, but still just as guarded in behavior. "I don't understand."

"It wasn't about her reservations. It was about us as a new unit," he explained, a bittersweet smile forming on his lips. His gaze stayed distant, as he became lost in his own memories. "We only had each other to rely on. We went from living in two separate small apartments to trying to get a loan for a mortgage, find a house... try and build a life together with our own two hands."

He lightly squeezed my hand in comfort. Yet I couldn't understand what any of this exposition had to do with my own relationship with Adam.

"Huh?" I stuttered, vocalizing my confusion in one forced syllable.

"There was a struggle. An uncertainty about what tomorrow would bring, but knowing that as long as we had each other, everything would turn out okay," he explained, his smile growing broader with every word. "We bonded and those memories... I wouldn't trade for anything in the world."

"Adam and I have many great memories as well," I replied defensively, pulling my hand away from his grasp to stand once more.

"I'm not doubting that," he continued, his gentle tone trying to calm me down. "And I know you'll never understand what I am saying unless you experience it for yourself."

"And you're saying that Adam and I won't be able to?" I exclaimed, my voice raising and arms waving in frustration. "So how could I ever understand?!"

After my meaningful , personal conversation with Adam, I didn't want any more dissent to enter my mind. There was lingering uncertainty still prevalent, but I was set in knowing that Adam Copeland was the man I was meant to be with. He was everything I was looking for and I was lucky to call him my fiancé. After all that had transpired between us, it would be easy to say that our relationship should have never prospered. I considered that a hardship in itself.

"I'm not saying these things to upset you. That is the last thing I want to do," my father said, trying to pacify my anger. However, that didn't mean that he was giving up on his own assessment. "I just... I want you to understand that marriage is a serious commitment. It is okay to go into it with some misgivings, but you need to be able to grow as a couple. For all of your doubts to fade, something needs to happen."

"Like reading from a book," I threw back, walking a few paces away from his seated form. I shook my head, turning my back to him as I tried to regain composure.

"The catalyst for the doubts fading was the time we spent struggling to make a good life for ourselves," he explained. "The quotation just made your mother see it. Living here... it just doesn't seem like you are making a life of your own. You are just joining one already in progress."

I snapped back around, my mouth falling open, willing myself to retort to his judgment. Yet no words came out. There was nothing I could say to defend myself, because it was something that I had felt myself. It sometimes came out as petty (like when I would call Adam out on not changing the decor left by his ex-wives), but it was a thought that plagued me. Adam was always able to convince me otherwise - that his life and surroundings were similar out of convenience, not holding onto the past. That we would change things together and then it would be ours.

"Marriage is about two souls coming together to form a new collective entity. What you are doing is just trying to fit into what Adam has already created," he continued, rising from his seat to put a comforting hand on each of my shoulders. "When your mother and I got married, we built everything for ourselves... together. You are just coming into what Adam has already made. And you show no signs of wanting to make a change."

"Dad, I..."

I gestured to a nearby armoire that was lined with trinkets and pictures from my own collection. My father smiled slightly at the sight of my mother's porcelain penguin collection alongside picture frames with familiar snapshots from my own life. Yet it wasn't enough to fully change his demeanor, and I knew explaining our redecorating plans would do little good as well. He stepped forward and picked up a metal frame, brushing off the little dust that had accumulated on the glass surface.

"No matter how many accents from your life you add, it isn't the same," he said solemnly, handing me the frame. I looked down at the picture of my mother and I. It was a few months before she went into the hospital for the last time. She looked feeble, but her gaze held so much love and determination. I could hardly remember her from actual memories (photographs and film withstanding), but whenever I thought of her, it was of her spirit; how just being around her made everything brighter. "I just want you to have what your mother and I had. I don't want you to settle."

"I'm not settling with Adam," I responded softly, wetness pooling in the creases of my eyes. I continued to stare down at her facade, wondering if some her essence was inside of me.

"I'm not talking about Adam. I see the way he looks at you when you aren't even aware," he explained with a sigh. "I see the love that is in his heart. And I know you have it too."

He placed a hand on my shoulder once more. I saw him from the corner of my eye look at the picture in my grasp. My mother and father never had the perfect relationship; I knew that much. My mother's health problems hindered any true sense of normalcy, but what I saw in photographs was how much they truly loved each other. They didn't care if it was only for a brief moment in time - they were going to live their love to the fullest. Build a love to last a lifetime even if it only could last a few years... to be complete _together._

I wanted what they had.

"I just don't want you to take the easy way out," my father whispered, lightly squeezing my shoulder as a few tears tracked down my cheeks. "Moving down here, just putting yourself in his already fully formed life - _that_ is settling."

I gave him a slight nod in affirmation, wanting to convey that even though I was disturbed by his apprehension, I understood. I moved down to Florida because it would make our engagement easier . I left my friends and family to live amongst Adam's. I gave up my career to make it unproblematic for his. We didn't even think of getting a place of our own. He had a house, _so why even look? _

This _house_ may have been _Adam's home_ - but I was beginning to truly realize that it would never be mine. No amount of paint and new furniture would change that. There were too many memories here that I had no part of. I was to become the third Mrs. Adam Copeland, which I was thrilled about. Yet I was also about to become _the third Mrs. Adam Copeland_ who _lived_ in this house... _swam _in that pool... _slept _in that bed.

As much as I loved Adam, I did not want to be another resident in his life. I wanted us to build a life - a complete relationship with a little bit of me and a little of him. I would not settle for anything less than that. We may not be perfect, but the life I wanted to make would be. It would be _perfect_ in its _imperfections,_ but it would be _ours._

I heard sharp barking and a door slam shut. It didn't startle me as much as it could have because I was so lost in my own thoughts. My eyes stayed locked on the picture in my hands, as my mind began to truly think of the life I wanted to lead. For once, I could look past my doubts and just onto the future - something that had always been lacking in our relationship.

"Hey beautiful. I took an earlier flight back so I could..."

Adam drifted off as he entered the room. I looked up to gaze upon the blond in the entranceway. His beaming grin fell as he took in my tearstained cheeks and contemplative expression.

"What did I miss?"

* * *

**Next Chapter - How hard can planning a wedding be... right?**

****Please review! Catch you on the flipside! :-)


	14. Stand Together

A.N. - I don't own WWE and its associated Superstars. To everyone that had read and reviewed - thank you! The past few months have gone by so quickly. So much has happened that writing was put on the back burner. Hurricanes, family problems, etc... Good news on one front: my cancer is officially in remission! :-)

**I'll miss you Edge, teetotalled, Rated-R-Edgehead, Rainbowbrite006, **and **dischic07 **- You all keep my muse from leaving me. Thank you so much for your constant support.

* * *

Monday September 8, 2008  
7:46 PM - Adam's House: Tampa, FL

"And I did what I did because I felt threatened, and being injured, I was concerned for my safety."

"It sounds fine."

"Is that your _professional opinion_ or are you just trying to get me off the phone?"

I laughed, turning my attention away from the blank notebook page in front of me to fully concentrate on the low voice emanating from the other end of my phone. To tell the truth, I hadn't been paying attention to much of the conversation. I was even reluctant to answer when I saw the name flash on the screen. But I was waiting for Adam to get back from Jay's house and figured it would help pass the time. Adam had said that he would be home by five thirty... which was two hours ago.

"Maybe a little bit of both," I replied with a sigh, as I spared a glance at the clock on the wall. "Adam and I are _supposed to_ be working out some wedding plans."

I hoped that my frustration wasn't too evident in my tone. Even though I had promised Adam we would start to plan for the ceremony, there were other future arrangements that were more pressing on my mind. I hadn't discussed the idea of moving with Adam yet. Granted it had only been a few days, but I knew that I was avoiding the issue. When Adam came home and found my father and I talking, he knew that something was off. I was way too emotional, but I just played it off as a father and daughter reminiscing about the past. Adam understood and didn't push the subject, but I could tell he knew that there was something more.

I knew that I needed to find a way to approach the topic, but I didn't want to do it with my father still visiting. When he left this morning, I promised him that I would talk to Adam about it. My father tried to ease my mind, saying that Adam would understand. He felt that Adam would be happy that I wanted to become such a cohesive unit, something more than just another woman fitting herself into his life. I wasn't so sure.

Besides, my resolve had died down a little bit since Adam returned from his hiking trip. Just being around him made my heart overtake my mind and any of its sensible thoughts. It also helped keep my mind from straying to my current estrangement from my best friend. As much as I tried to push all of the emotion down, it was impossible. Jeff still held a big part of my heart whether I liked it or not.

"And how is that going for you?"

The grumble of a query broke through my thoughts. My mind found its way back to the present as I dropped the empty notebook on the pile of bridal magazines and wedding books.

"Do you really care?" I asked with a curt chuckle, still unsure about my feelings for the man on the other end of the line.

"Nam, I already apologized for my behavior."

"Really? 'Cause the way I remember it was you calling at three in the morning to ask if Adam knew directions to some bar in Fort Wayne," I ranted, even though it didn't come out nearly as harsh as I had hoped. Even though I wanted to, I just couldn't stay mad at the St. Louis native. And if my friend from Cameron would ever have picked up the phone, I knew it would be the same for him as well.

"I said I wished you two were there," Randy said with a groan. "Damn, weren't you even listening to me?"

"It was three in the morning!" I exclaimed, throwing up my hands in frustration even though the source of said emotion was thousands of miles away.

"I forgot about the differences in time zones," Randy replied casually, and I could mentally picture the patented Legend Killer smirk painted on his lips.

"By one hour," I explained, leaning backward until my back hit the plush California King mattress I had been sitting on. I pushed the pile of periodicals away with my foot, watching as a few of them fell to the carpet below. "It still would have been two."

"And you're telling me that you and Adam were actually asleep at that time," Randy countered with a low chuckle. "What - you two in the middle of a fight so he isn't getting any?"

I heard the telltale sound of dogs barking, alerting me to Adam's arrival. My eyes flitted to the clock once more - only a little over two hours late. I hoped that I would still be able to get out of our planning session. I just didn't think I could truly concentrate on creating the ceremony of my dreams when I was 'settling' in my lifestyle.

"I am not about to discuss my sex life..."

"Or lack thereof," Randy interjected dryly.

"...with you," I grumbled. Before he could retort, I quickly gave some more explication to the situation. "Besides, my father was here for a visit."

"So? It's not like he was sleeping in the same room as you two."

I huffed a terse snort into the phone as I let my eyes fall shut. Physical intimacy was the one aspect of my relationship with Adam that I had little problems with. The past few weeks had been utter bliss from a sexual standpoint. It made my mind even more confused - how in sync our bodies could be when our mental states were so contrasting. Whenever I wanted to open up and talk, Adam had other ideas in mind. When he wanted to sit down and have a heart to heart, I would rather be anywhere else.

"Who wants to know about our sex life?"

The jovial tenor struck me straight in the heart, a small smile subconsciously falling on my lips.

"Our late night alarm clock," I mumbled cheekily, as I felt the mattress dip down near my side. I felt his slightly scraggly beard brush against my cheek as his lips pressed a tender kiss to the flesh. I stifled any noise, being mindful of the man on the other end of the line. I parted my lips to bid Randy adieu, but the words never came out.

"Hey man. How's the injury?" Adam bellowed into the phone pressed against my ear. My eyes flew open, glaring at the grinning blond. I figured that the ringing in my ear would stop me from hearing Randy's reply.

"Sucks," Randy exclaimed in a volume even louder than Adam's had been. I pushed myself slightly up from the pillow letting my phone continue to rest on the white fabric. Adam chuckled as Randy continued to yell through the speaker. He reached out and hit the screen, quickly turning the offending device on speakerphone. "But at least I don't have to wear a sling to the ring."

"Stop yelling," I groaned, holding a hand over my still buzzing ear. "You're on speaker."

"Vince is letting you go without one?" Adam posed, his beaming grin trying its best to make me respond in kind. I was too busy trying to regain my full sense of sound.

"The thing is fucking uncomfortable. If the crowd doesn't think I am injured, I could care less," Randy gruffly responded, causing both Adam and I to respond wordlessly: Adam's dismissive shake of his head and my sarcastic roll of the eyes. It seemed like Randy would never change. Not even fatherhood seemed to make him more placid. "I'm not wearing that shit just for their benefit."

"Very nice," I mumbled, just loud enough to reach the phone.

"It's the truth. I don't..." Randy started before quickly falling silent. Some ambient noise could be overheard before his voice returned. "Tell them I will be right there. Duty calls."

"Oh, how will I ever go on?" I said mockingly, lifting my gaze to Adam's eyes.

Yet his attention was elsewhere. He was riffling through the few magazine that were still near the foot of the bed. He lifted up the one on top and grinned, opening and skimming through the pages. I giggled at the image before me: a scruffy, baseball cap wearing Adam Copeland adorned in a Toronto Maple Leafs tee, cargo shorts, and sandals with his nose stuck in the current issue of Modern Bride.

"You know you miss me," Randy's voice grumbled from the pillow beside me. My eyes stayed locked on the Canadian in front of me who seemed enraptured by some article in the glossy pages in his grasp. I just prayed that it was the "_Eco-Chic Receptions_" instead of "_Want Steamier Sex? Try These Toys_" article that he had found. "Thanks for half-heartedly paying attention to the promo."

"You were running lines with Nam?" Adam asked, before I could even reply. He couldn't have been too engrossed in the magazine then - definitely not reading the second article.

"Just wanted her opinion," Randy answered. " Especially since I think most of them are shit."

"Use them as an outline and just add stuff to it," Adam replied earnestly, closing the magazine and letting it fall back on top of the pile. "It's what I do."

"Yeah, but you are good at this shit," he vented softly, seemingly more to himself than for our benefit. "At least, I am heel. So much easier to be intimidating then pretending I care about the crowd and entertaining them."

"He's just a ray of sunshine, isn't he?" I remarked sarcastically to the blond whose green irises had finally lifted to meet my own. He laughed, reaching his hand out toward mine, our fingers entwining upon contact.

"Happy planning, lovebirds," Randy said flippantly as his farewell.

"See you, Rand," Adam replied for both of us, reaching out with his free hand to end the call.

As he leaned over for the phone, I fell into him. I breathed in and just took in everything that he was. Strong, masculine, loving... _mine_. I felt guilty for the doubts that _I_ ever had about the love I felt for him. And it was because that love was fervent that I wanted to experience all that it could entail. Being a true partner in both name and implementation was what we both deserved.

Adam's strength through our entwined hands was able to push me away. My back hit the mattress, lips parting to speak. Yet they were quickly covered by my fiancé's own. The scruff on his face lightly scraped against my skin as our lips danced together. He detangled his hand from mine so he could use the now free appendage to pull my form closer to his. I moaned deep in the back of my throat, the rumble making its way though both of our meshed forms.

I reached my hands out and quickly deposed the cap from his head. My fingers twisted into his disheveled blond mane. The action caused him to growl into my parted mouth, always quick to respond to my physical displays of affection. His lips pulled away from mine, gasping for air before sliding the coarse surface of his skin and lips along my cheekbone. I panted lightly for breath as his lips continued their trek down my cheek to the column of my neck.

Adam swiftly suckled his way down my neck, stopping at his own special spot near the base. I groaned appreciatively when his lips sucked on the pale flesh it found. The suction sent heat coursing throughout my whole being. A husky moan of his name only caused the wet pressure to intensify, as my fingers pulled taut on the hair in their grasp.

When he was satisfied that the skin would be emblazoned with his mark, Adam moved his probing lips back up to meet my own greedily. My lips were already parted and his tongue wasted little time sweeping in. I just savored the feel of everything - the rough skin, soft lips, wet tongue. So much passion one would think we hadn't kissed in months, not just seconds.

"I'm sorry I didn't call," Adam mumbled, his lips only pulling back enough to get the words out.

"More than made up for it," I replied hoarsely before nipping lightly at his bottom lip.

Yet before our actions could progress further down the road of passion, six loud melodic beeps sounded from my nearby phone. Adam groaned before pulling back, knowing that I was going to immediately seek out the phone to check the text message. I had confided in him that I was waiting for Jeff to attempt to talk to me once more.

After spending some time with my father, I realized that I couldn't just let our friendship die at Summerslam. Everyone in my life was surprised by my engagement to Adam and seemingly, everyone had their own doubts about the way things were progressing. Jeff's words hurt more than I could even say, but they were his version of the truth. He was my friend and if he really _believed_ it, I wanted to give him the chance to fully explain his position.

On Sunday, I called the North Carolina native hoping that cooler heads had prevailed. Five voice messages and almost a dozen texts later and I still didn't have confirmation that that fact was true. Adam said he was probably busy with work, but I knew it was deeper than that. He didn't see the look in Jeff's eyes - a look that I still could not shake from my mind.

I grasped my phone and stared down at the screen. _Sorry for holding up your hubby. Forgive me?_ I sighed at Jay's message, letting the screen go dark and phone slip from my grasp.

"Not Jeff I take it," Adam stated, maneuvering over to sit right at my side. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I quickly fell into the embrace, my head coming to rest against the heated, tanned flesh of his neck.

"No. Can't say I am all that surprised," I said softly, my eyes falling shut just to see bright emerald anger in the once black void. "He has made it quite clear where we stand."

"I think you both are just going through some transitions," Adam offered, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my shoulder. I scoffed under my breath, but was internally thankful that Adam took my bruised feelings so seriously. "Give him time."

"I don't think time is the answer," I replied more to myself than the man next to me.

I thought that time apart would help. But it seemed to just make Jeff even more bitter. Every time I saw him since he found out about my engagement was worse than the last.

"He will come around. This time off is good for more than just our relationship," Adam soothed, using his free hand to tilt my face to his. He smiled, trying his best to coax one on my own lips. "It's putting everything in perspective. Giving us a chance to just sit back and let things happen."

"Jeff and I already have had a lot of time away from each other," I replied softly, leaning into his hand's light hold. I moved my lips to his thumb and pressed a chaste kiss to his tanned skin. He was trying so hard to be positive about my relationship with Jeff. I wish the other man could reciprocate. "Time has done nothing but make more tension between us."

"I know, beautiful," Adam whispered, pulling me to his chest.

I breathed him in and immediately felt some of my melancholy emotion slip away. I didn't want to dwell on Jeff and our problems. Things would either work out or not... and I couldn't do much to change that. Everything was in Jeff's hands now.

"Looks like you have a head start on this whole planning thing."

Adam's statement caused me to pull back. I looked at where his gaze had fallen: the pile of periodicals that were still partially lying on the mattress.

"They are just magazines and books I thought might be useful," I replied, as Adam pulled away from me and reached out to retrieve them. I brought my hands to my face and rubbed away all of my lingering sadness. "But all they seem to do is confuse me even more."

"Why don't we start at the beginning?" he offered, grabbing the empty notebook I had been staring at so listlessly before.

"And that would be?" I asked with a small grin, remembering the last time he had posed that question. It was only a little over a week ago and it ended up with us as a tangled mess of limbs. I didn't mind in the least and wouldn't now, if that was the same course of action he had planned.

"The date," he answered emphatically, picking up the red pen and beginning to scrawl a few words down on the white loose-leaf. I figured he was really serious about planning this time around. I sighed and fell back into the pillow, only a little disappointed.

"Doesn't the hall pick the date?" I asked as I watched him continue to write in the notebook. "It's not like we can pull any random day out of a hat and..."

"I think we should get married before I go back."

His interruption startled me. I stared at him with my mouth agape. He couldn't honestly think that we could plan a whole wedding before then. Yet from his demeanor, he obviously thought we could. He didn't even spare me a glance as he picked up the calendar I had lying in the pile.

"What?" I vocalized curtly, realizing that I needed to stop him before things got too out of control.

"We still have plenty of time to plan a great ceremony before November," he replied casually, still refusing to meet my stunned gaze. His eyes were focused on the calendar as I watched his eyes scan the dates printed in front of him.

"That is two months away!" I said with a shake of my head, leaning back up into a sitting position.

"Ooh. Halloween is on a Friday this year," he continued, not heeding any of my concerns. "We could have this big costume theme..."

"I am not getting married on Halloween," I exclaimed forcefully causing his eyes to finally lift from the calendar to meet my own. I furrowed my brow as he smiled, clearly not fazed by my obvious distress.

"It would be the best birthday present ever," he said, a wheedling grin forming on his lips.

"Adam, please be serious with this," I replied, with another shake of my head.

This ceremony meant everything to me and I didn't want it to be treated like a farce. Even if Halloween was his favorite holiday, it didn't mean we should be married on it. I realized that this was going to be his third ceremony, but it was still a very sincere and sacred event.

"I am being serious," he attested with a smile. "You want a ceremony that you are going to remember thirty years from now. Well..."

His eyes fell back to the calendar and I sighed. It seemed that everything about this ceremony would be a struggle. I knew that if I couldn't even speak my mind about this, I would never be able to talk to him about our current living arrangements. I needed to realize that Adam loved me for me - he would _want_ me to be happy and not settle.

"It is way too soon," I replied in the lightest but sincerest tone I could muster. I crawled the short distance over to his side and took the calendar from his grasp. "I was thinking of a late Spring wedding. Maybe even next summer."

"That far away?" he asked dejectedly, as I turned to the mid 2009 months in the calendar. "You know I am going to be back on tour. All my weekends are going to be booked."

"I'm sure Vince would give you a weekend off," I said, acting in the same way he had earlier, my eyes glued to the dates in front of me. I chuckled slightly as I scanned though a few weeks in July. "Besides, you might even be on injury leave again."

"Very funny, beautiful," he said, chuckling lightly at my joking statement. I elbowed him lightly in the ribs as I continued to keep my eyes busy with the dates in front of me. July seemed like a good month. Almost a full year away... even with our communication flaws, Adam and I should have been able to plan an amazing ceremony by that time. "But what about the guys? Don't you want them there?"

My mind immediately went back to Jeff. I frowned, biting my lower lip in annoyance. Just when I thought he was gone from my mind... I doubted he would be willing to show up to the ceremony anyway. He made it quite clear that he didn't approve. I sighed and looked back up into Adam's eyes.

"I guess," I said with a shrug, knowing that I really did want all of them to be present. I honestly couldn't imagine not having them there. Jay and Chris and John... Hell, even Randy. They were part of the reason that Adam and I were even together. "But it's not like they will be any more available in the coming months."

Adam took the calendar back from my hands and turned back to 2008. I frowned, but didn't speak up. After only a few moments, his eyes widened and a huge beaming smile formed on his lips. His teeth shined and my frown deepened. He was not going to relent.

"A-ha," he exclaimed, reaching for the discarded notebook and pen. "The perfect date."

"Please, don't say Halloween," I mumbled triggering laughter from the Canadian.

"No," he replied happily and I sighed in relief. I really wasn't interested in getting married surrounded by costumed guests, no matter how good of an idea Adam thought it would be. "November 21."

"Why is that 'the perfect date'?" I retorted, even going so far as to put air quotes around the ending words. He didn't take my sarcasm to heart and brought the pen down to circle the date on the calendar in bright red ink.

"The company is just getting back from their European tour," he explained, my eyes still glued on how the red ink looked on the white. It seemed so final... and so close. I noticed some of Adam's handwriting nearby on other dates. The black scrawling penmanship made a small smile lift my lips. "Everyone will have the weekend off..."

"Except that it is Survivor Series weekend... in Boston," I said, pointing to his own note in the box. He didn't seemed fazed at all.

"Well, we could always get married on the 22nd in Boston," Adam said, bringing the pen down once more, circling the date next to his original red mark. "That way, everyone would be able to come."

Adam reached out and put the notebook back on his lap. He brought his pen toward the page. I quickly reached out and covered my hand in his. He looked down at me, his smile falling slightly for the first time since our planning had begun.

"In Boston?" I questioned breathlessly, staring into his eyes hoping that I could get through to him. This was not what I had ever imagined when I thought of my wedding day.

"Yeah. It's not like we had picked out a venue," he said, his smile making its way back to his lips. He put his other hand on top of mine, trying his best to assuage my doubts. It wasn't going to work. "And I think it is more important that everyone can be there."

"I always thought I would get married in the same chapel as my parents," I confessed.

I had never vocalized my wish before, but it was something that I had always planned on doing. Even before Adam came into the picture - Hell, _even before Caleb_ - I had always envisioned myself getting married at Kirkpatrick Chapel. It was just a fantasy in a little girl's mind at one point, but now, I wanted it to be my reality. It was a way that I could be close to my mother on my wedding; a way that she could be a part of the ceremony.

"In New Jersey?" Adam asked, his eyes flicking back down to the calendar nearby.

"Yeah," I replied, slightly unsure of what he thought. I wanted this to be our day. I was all for compromise if it was something that both of us could envision. Getting married in two months in Boston was not even close. "Is that okay with you?"

"I always pictured myself getting married on a beach," Adam replied earnestly.

"You have been married in the past," I stated swiftly, as I couldn't understand why he would have a problem with the venue. My choice of time, yes. But the actual place... he was fine with Boston, but now... "Why didn't you then?"

"Rushed into things. Didn't have the smarts to really plan things out," he said offhandedly, looking back into my eyes with a shrug. "Besides, I was still climbing up the ladder in the company. Hardly had any time off and got married on the little down time I found."

His cavalier demeanor slowly slipped away, a quiet seriousness left in its place. He reached out and took my hand in his, looking down at the glimmering ring that adorned my finger. A small smile reached his lips as he traced the iridescent gemstones with the pad of his finger.

"I want to do it right this time around," he stated tenderly, the earnest gleam never leaving his eyes.

I was happy to see that he wasn't just rushing into the ceremony to get it over with. He honestly wanted it to be a special day. Just seeing how serious he was about 'wanting to do it right' made me think that maybe my fears about our living situation were all unfounded. Maybe he would be open to making a change that would only benefit us as a couple.

"I was never a beach person," I joked lightly, causing a chuckle to escape the blond's lips. His eyes lifted to mine as he brought my hand to his lips, tracing the knuckle right below the ring with his lips.

"That is because you aren't a _sun person_," he mumbled, letting my hand fall back down to my side. He looked back down at the pile of bridal periodicals, glancing at a few of the covers. However, I could tell that his mind was spinning. It seemed like my little teasing comment opened the door to continue the discussion of a sooner than later ceremony.

"There are some nice beaches up in Toronto that..."

"Get married in Canada?" I interrupted quickly, hoping that I could derail this train of thought before he got too serious. I still had my work cut out for me when it came to the date. Two points of contention would not make this process easy or at least amiable.

"Why not?" Adam asked with a shrug.

I gaped at him before turning away from his gaze. He seemed so relaxed... as if we weren't talking about the most important day of our lives. Besides, I didn't know if there were different marriage laws for Canada. I had printouts on the procedure for New Jersey and Florida, but I never dreamed I would need them for Canada.

"Toronto is so far away," I offered, frowning as I mentally thought though the scenarios of telling my family I was getting married out of the country. Yes, it was just over the border, but it was still asking a lot. It was more than just a little one day trip... especially if Adam really was persistent on getting married in the coming months.

"Not if you are in Orangeville," Adam joked, trying to lighten the obvious frustration that had fallen over our whole planning session. I shot him a slight embittered glare before falling back onto the mountain of pillows behind me, my hands rising to wipe the stress from my eyes.

"Ugh, this is not going as well as I had hoped," I grumbled from behind my hands.

"Maybe we should come back to these details," Adam offered hopefully. "Let's just work on the guest list. That should be easy enough."

I chuckled lowly, silently complaining in my mind that they were anything but little details. The date and location were probably the two biggest facets of a wedding. And we couldn't agree. I didn't see there be any middle ground either. If I did convince him to get married in New Jersey, it would most likely have to be sometime in early November. He seemed quite adamant about wanting to return to action as a married man.

Yet the only silver lining of that plan was that I could get him to shave off the beard he was beginning to sport. He said he wasn't going to shave until he went back, but if we were to be married... there was no way our wedding pictures would be marred by the monstrosity he was beginning to grow. Just thinking of such frivolous things made me smile. I really was looking forward to becoming Mrs. Adam Copeland.

I leaned back up, dropping my hands back to my sides. I opened my eyes and looked at my beaming fiancé as he wrote furiously in the notebook. I became curious and crawled back over to his side. I looked down and saw at least five dozen names staring back up at me.

And he wasn't even finished.

He just kept writing and writing and my eyes could not keep up. My mind was spinning as I thought of all these people - some who I didn't even know - attending my wedding. I had always pictured a small intimate engagement. Maybe around forty close friends and family. Just a nice, manageable ceremony celebrating the love and commitment of two people coming together as one.

"Anyone else to add?"

Adam's inquiry startled my still spiraling mind. I just continued to scroll through the names. He was already on the third page and he wanted to add more?

"There are... too many names here," I finally was able to attest, but the man next to me didn't seem fazed.

"Not everyone will come, you know," he replied, grinning as he wrote down another few unfamiliar names. "We just need to invite them so they feel included. That we didn't play favorites and..."

"And what if they all do come?" I asked softly, mentally trying to count the names on the page.

"Then... the more the merrier!" he beamed, the notebook lightly being tossed from his hand in his excitement. It seemed like the list making made him really get in the matrimonial spirit. I was happy for that fact, but still unsure if this was really how I saw my wedding day. It seemed too impersonal.

"You really want this large of a congregation?" I asked honestly, looking down at the notebook that was now lying on the mattress.

I flipped back to the first page and saw familiar names at the beginning. All of the usual suspects. Adam even had already included many of my own relatives. Everyone from my father to my aunts and cousins - some of which he had only met once or twice. And a little further down - _Jeff Hardy. _

"They are our friends and family..."

"And co-workers, mere acquaintances some, and..." I continued his statement, my eyes leaving the name of the Cameron native to focus on the unknown ones nearby. I knew some of the names were of current or former wrestlers that I never met, but others drew total blanks.

"It's going to be one of the happiest days of our lives," Adam exclaimed firmly, my eyes rising to meet the green imploring irises that were staring down upon me.

"Yes, _our lives_," I stressed, reaching out to put my hand to his furry cheek. I stroked the warm skin lightly, staring up into his eyes, hoping to convey how much love I held for him. "This is about us, Adam. Not the hoard of people you want to invite."

He leaned into my touch, reaching up to cover my hand with his own. Silence fell between us, but it was actually quite comfortable. I was just soaking in everything Adam was, everything he meant to me. During these past few weeks, it was in the quiet moments like this where all of my doubts floated away. It was just me and Adam and everything felt right.

"You know - it would be much easier to just elope," I murmured with a grin, our hands falling away so I could lean my head on his shoulder.

"Now that is one small wedding I'd agree to," he teased, as I reached down and picked up the Bridal Guide magazine that was lying near the top of the pile.

I randomly flipped through the pages, not very interested with much of its contents. Many of the articles were on the more superficial details of the ceremony - the dresses and flowers, the meals and the cakes... I couldn't even begin to think about those smaller aspects of the ceremony when I wasn't sure what locale I would be preparing for. Would it be a large but chilly beach affair up in Boston? Or a quaint summer wedding in New Jersey?

Near the back of the periodical, there were advertisements for all inclusive resorts that could perform wedding ceremonies. No stress was what they offered; just leave everything to them. As tempting as it sounded - and it could give Adam the beach wedding he seemed to desire - I couldn't imagine it in my mind. I wanted something simple, something classic.

"What's this?" Adam asked, as he reached down and picked up a book that had fallen to the carpet. He stared down at the slightly worn paperback, the marigold colored cover not reregistering in his memory. "_The New Wedding: Creating Your Own Marriage Ceremony_?"

"My father brought it down with him," I replied with a smile, as Adam opened up the slightly ragged cover and looked through the first few pages. "It was the book my mother used to plan their wedding."

"Did he think it would help?" Adam asked, his eyes scanning the table of contents. When I saw his eyes reach a certain section, I knew what his reaction would be. The laughter reached his eyes before it emanated from his lips as he nimbly maneuvered out of the light hold and took the book in a firm grasp. He flipped through the pages toward his destination as I grinned.

"Not exactly," I mumbled, as I looked over his shoulder at the page he had turned to.

The book was more or less a manual of 'new' wedding ceremonies... as _new_ as they could be for a book published in 1973. The titles for these ceremonies ranged from _'Love Through Music'_ to _'The Wine of the Spirit_.' But the one that Adam had seized upon was the most radical of all - _'An Anarchist-Feminist Wedding.'_ My father had brought the book with him thinking that it would help Adam and I realize that we needed to just go with our hearts. Any ceremony was within our grasp... even the most ludicrous.

"This shit is hilarious," Adam exclaimed as he flipped the page, enthralled in the sample ceremony that was printed before him. _"We reject not only the authority of the state over us, we also reject the traditional and legal authority of man over woman, which had no legitimate moral basis. We wish you to understand that we do not love each other any less for rejecting these two traditional authorities, but rather, on the contrary, that it is because we love each other that we try to resist them."_

"That was not the ceremony my mother was inspired by," I mused with a grin, my chin coming to rest on his shoulder.

"You think your pop would mind if we used these vows as our own?" Adam joked, his eyes continuing to scan the outdated text.

"I would mind," I exclaimed with a laugh as I looked down at the book as well. "And as much as I love Shakespeare, I really don't think beginning the ceremony with my father reciting this sonnet would be the way to go."

This sample ceremony began with the bride's father reciting Shakespeare's twenty-ninth sonnet. It dealt with the speaker feeling like an outcast except when he thought of his beloved. I was a fan of the sonnet, but it was not the most affectionate of his works. It fit the ambiance of the ceremony that this couple in the text was trying to create, but was too downcast to be a part of a true wedding celebration.

"So, which one did she use... your mother, I mean?" Adam asked, flipping away from his faux ceremony of choice to peruse the other samples that the book enclosed. I reached out and turned the pages for him, finally stopping at the last one.

"Companions for life."

* * *

_Thursday March 27, 2008  
10:55 PM - T.G.I. Friday's: Orlando, FL_

_"About time your pretty ass showed up!"_

_"We can't all be lucky enough to be staying at a hotel just a few blocks away."_

_I fixed my hair in the slight reflection from the restaurant's glass door before turning to face my slightly inebriated friend. He took a long pull of his beer before plastering his trademark smirk on his lips, opening his arms gesturing for a hug. I shook my head with a grin of my own before striding over for a quick embrace._

_I had just arrived in Florida a few hours ago. Work was actually taking a turn for the better, but after the past few weeks, there was no other way it could go. Steven was back in the office and through his mediation, Danielle and I were on speaking terms once again. Things were not perfect, but definitely looking up, especially since Mr. Williams got two new high profile accounts that he wanted the three of us to handle. Since we weren't able to pitch ideas during our botched presentation, we were a few of the only free staff members in his department that could manage the clients._

_Yet that was all put on hold for the next few days. It was Wrestlemania week and Adam was in the main event. Being the Super Bowl of WWE programming, closing out the show was one of the biggest honors the company could bestow. And this year that honor fell to a World Heavyweight Championship match between Edge and the Undertaker, or the Title versus the Streak as Steven kept informing me._

_"Adam should get you credentials so you can stay with us," Randy said, shifting out of our embrace but keeping an arm slung around my shoulder. "Be just like old times."_

_"Yeah, that is what I am trying to avoid," I said, elbowing him in his side._

_I was staying at Adam's house while he stayed at a hotel in Orlando with the rest of the company. As I knew from experience last year, during the whole Wrestlemania week, the company stayed together. It was sort of like when they went on tours overseas. Everything was planned to such an extent that finding down time was a luxury. I was actually surprised when I called to tell Adam I had arrived and he told me about this little get-together. I didn't remember anything like this happening the year before in Detroit until after the event itself._

_"Aw, you're no fun," he replied, pushing me away before ruffling my still slightly tousled hair. _

_I groaned and turned back to my reflection, eliciting laughter from the man at my side. I couldn't help but be a little conscious of my appearance. I had spent the better part of my afternoon at airports and on an airplane and only stopped at the house to drop off my things. Then, after an almost two hour drive to Orlando - thanks to an accident on the highway - it took another hour to find the correct restaurant. I knew that I wasn't looking as best I would like: still in my work attire with hardly any makeup and my hair looking more like a frizzy bird's nest. _

_I hadn't seen Adam in almost two weeks. I didn't want this to be the first image that he saw of me. Maybe it was vain, but I wasn't naive. He was constantly surrounded by beautiful women, some of which he worked with on a daily basis. He told me constantly that he thought of them as his 'hot sisters', but considering that his last girlfriend happened to once fall into that category, I wasn't so sure._

_I trusted him... the Divas, not so much; especially since I was no longer friendly with any of them. The few friends that I did make during my time with the WWE did not appreciate the deception. Melina hardly glanced in my direction when I saw her at the Royal Rumble in January. I tried to talk to her - she was my roommate for a time, after all - but she just brushed me off. I couldn't be offended, as I didn't blame her. I didn't blame any of my former co-workers if they had less than stellar feelings toward me. I was just thankful for the ones whom I could still consider my friends._

_"So where is your bestie?" I asked, happy enough with my reflection to turn back toward the Legend Killer. I looked around at the few people milling about, but John Cena was not among them. "Shouldn't he be making sure you stay in control."_

_"He's not here," Randy answered with a shrug as he took a few steps back toward the main area of the restaurant. "Didn't want to break Vince's rule of not associating with the enemy."_

_"The enemy?" I asked, ignoring Randy's incorrect grammar to concentrate on the surroundings. _

_He grasped my hand and pulled me toward the bar area where a large number of wrestlers were gathered. Upon further inspection, I noticed a few faces that were not a part of the WWE, but the Florida-based TNA._

_"I think that blond contingent over in the corner could use a brunette infusion," Randy murmured into my ear before pushing me off toward a few high tables near the corner. _

_A smile quickly spread across my lips as I spotted Adam laughing with his arm slung around Jay's shoulder. He looked so childlike with his head thrown back, blond hair glistening in the light overhead, chest rumbling with laughter. My happiness was quickly stalled with the burning flash of pain beyond my skirt. I turned over my shoulder and shot a glare toward the smirking Legend Killer. He had done the same thing - this time sans bath towel - the last time I had seen him at the Rumble. He just raised his brow in a faux innocent expression before lifting the bottle to his lips and motioning toward Adam's table. _

_I turned back around with a shake of my head. Randy would never change. At one time, I thought that news of Sam's pregnancy would spur some sort of maturation in him. He had yet to show any signs. Maybe things would be different after his child was born. But at the moment, he was a welcome distraction - this whole get-together was - from more serious things that still plagued my mind._

_I hadn't heard from Jeff since my visit to Cameron last Monday. Even during the visit, he never spoke to me. After spending a few hours with Beth and the rest of the Carolina gang, I headed back to the airport. The whole point of the visit was to comfort Jeff, but he was not at that stage in his grieving yet. I wanted to give him time, knowing that Jeff would come to me when he was ready. _

_Shannon had called a few days after my visit to tell me that Jeff did actually make it out of his makeshift room at Matt's house. He was talking with Beth, his brother, and friends, but was still far from being free of the depression that had fallen over him. Shannon said he would try and get him to call, but I told the blond not to push it. It would happen sooner or later._

_Just thinking about Jeff and his current situation deflated some of my glee. My smile drooped low as I scuffed over toward my friends. This should have been Jeff's Wrestlemania too. But even if he was not suspended, after such a loss I doubted he would have been in the state of mind to compete. _

_As soon as my eye caught Adam's gleaming smile, it remedied my gloom. He was the perfect medicine for any bad mood, even if he and Jay were currently singing an off-key rendition of the Foo Fighters song that was playing throughout the restaurant._

_"Look who finally decided to join us," Denise exclaimed as she noticed my arrival. I waved in her direction as her husband and Adam finally stopped their tuneless performance. _

_"You're here," Adam shouted, his eyes scanning the length of my form. _

_I began to feel a little self-conscious once again, knowing that the knee-length slightly pleated pencil skirt and ivory button down was hardly the most flattering of outfits. Yet the look in his eye told another story. He reached out, pulling me into a desperate kiss. It had been too long since our lips last met that it was easy to ignore the few cat calls that rang out among the party at the table. _

_"Sorry it took so long," I mumbled, breaking apart before Adam could take our display of affection any further. "But this is the third Friday's I have been to."_

_"Really?" Adam posed, confusion settling on his handsome features. "I told you..."_

_"You told me the one in Orlando," I interrupted, pulling out of his light hold on my frame to take an empty seat nearby. "I tried calling you again but..." _

_"Four missed calls," Adam read as he picked up his phone from the table. _

_"There just so happens to be eight in the city limits so I had to guess," I remarked, setting down my clutch on the table in front of me and sending a wave to the other members of the group as a greeting._

_"Well, third time's the charm," Chris said, throwing an unopened packet of sugar my way._

_"Cute," I muttered, sending the blond a slight glare. He just returned the expression before breaking out into a large trademark Jericho smile._

_"I thought so," he replied, grasping the bottle of beer that sat in front of him._

_"So according to Orton, you all are breaking some sort of rule by being here?" I asked the crowd, leaning back in my seat. _

_Adam - whose chair I had stolen - came to stand behind me. He pushed my hair slightly off my shoulders before moving his hands toward the slightly tense muscle below. He began to kneed the planes of my shoulder blades and I had to fight to keep from showing any outward elation. After the long day I had, his hands felt like heaven. It seemed like he knew that I needed some unwinding. _

_"Can we help it that we just so happened to run across some familiar faces?" Adam asked rhetorically, punctuating the end of his statement by finishing his short but effective massage with a quick squeeze of the back of my neck. For the first time in a few weeks, I finally felt blissfully relaxed._

_"Yeah; don't tell me that you thought we planned all this?" Jay posed innocently, retaking his seat next to his wife._

_"We are clearly not that methodical," Chris imparted with a grin._

_"Yes, clearly," I said shooting looks to the other two blond wrestlers before turning slightly in my seat to gaze upon Adam. He smiled down at me, taking my hand in his as he continued to lean against the back of my seat. "And if Vince does find out?"_

_"We'll play dumb," Adam replied with a shrug._

_"You _are _dumb," Jay teased, causing Adam to toss a napkin his best friend's way._

_Adam turned toward a table nearby, took an unused chair and pulled it next to mine. Small talk fell around the table with the three couples just talking with their respective partners. Adam was curious about the flight as well as apologetic about the lack of directions and communication. I waved him off, but he promised to make it up to me later. I knew what he had in mind - my heart beating faster just at the thought - but I had to remind him that he had to go back to the hotel tonight. The slight pout that fell across his lips was one that I wouldn't soon forget._

_Soon, the group's mutual friend Terry Gerin came over to talk with the male contingent of the party. I had met him a few times and of course had heard countless stories of the early days of the group's wrestling careers, many of which included the man now known as Rhyno. Soon, the conversation turned to hockey - with Adam and Chris arguing about some prospective realignment of teams in the league. I could tell that all of three of the women at the table (myself included) were disinterested. Denise shot me a look, patting the seat that Jay had vacated next to her._

_I spared Adam a glance, but he paid me no heed - _'There is no way the Jets are going to come back into the league.' _I could tell that this topic of conversation was not even close to concluding. Hockey, wrestling, and music - three topics that the men could always get lost in talking and arguing about. I shook my head and slid off of the seat, walking the few paces over to the two other women at the table._

_"So what does your dress look like?" Denise asked as soon as I sat down. I furrowed my brow in confusion, trying to figure out where her question came from. "Does it match Adam's suit?"_

_Then it dawned on me: the Hall of Fame ceremony. I had just remembered the event two days prior when Adam called to check on my trip details. Danielle said she would go dress shopping with me last night, but 'something came up.' I wasn't too upset as I figured that I would find time here in Florida to shop. Besides, it was easier than having to worry about it being ruined during the flight. _

_"I don't even have my dress yet," I said truthfully. "Figured I would go out tomorrow and..." _

_"Girl's day out!" Jessica exclaimed, clapping her hands together in excitement._

_"I'm showing a house in the morning, but could be free by one," Denise said. I opened my mouth to speak, but was quickly cut off and couldn't get one word in._

_"So it's settled. Besides, I need to pick up some shoes. The ones I was planning on wearing..."_

_I didn't know Jessica that well. Even though Chris and I were pretty good friends, Jessica and I had just met a few months ago. The blonde was much more extroverted than I had ever been. She was constantly upbeat and vivacious, seemed to always have something to say. And when alcohol was thrown into the picture (as in the present situation), it was only heightened. I honestly wasn't surprised considering her husband was the same way. They were a perfect match._

_I saw Denise giving me an expression of pity as Jessica continued to run through her whole process of putting together her Hall of Fame attire. I just grinned and continued to half-heartedly listen. I wasn't the best at shopping, so I was actually grateful that I was going to have some help. Last year, I had gone shopping during Wrestlemania week with a few of the Divas; Melina was the one who actually chose my dress. I wouldn't be so lucky this year._

_"I think I'm free," I said, as soon as Jessica began to discuss the actual shopping date again. "But I'm picking up Adam's mother from the airport at seven, so..."_

_"Aw," both girls cooed loudly causing my cheeks to flush red. The volume of the noise was enough to gain the attention of the male delegation of the table, as all four pairs of eyes turned their attention to our end of the table._

_"What's 'aw'?" Chris joked, looking at my enflamed cheeks with a grin._

_"Nami's picking up her future mother-in-law from the airport tomorrow," Denise answered, reaching out to teasingly pinch my rosy cheek. _

_"You two got engaged?" Terry asked excitedly, his eyes twinkling in astonishment. _

_"No!" I exclaimed instantaneously, the force and immediacy of my negation causing Adam's expression to sour. I sheepishly laughed, the color of my cheeks only increasing with my embarrassment. "I mean, not yet?"_

_"Nice save," Jay muttered, raising his bottle to me in a mock salute._

_The men showed no inclination on going back to their conversation and all eyes were still focused on me. My own gaze locked on to Adam, wordlessly trying to convey that I didn't mean for it to sound so indignant. Marriage was the endgame for many romantic relationships, but it was not something I would be rushing into. Adam and I were rekindling our trust and love for one another. It was going to take some time before I could even begin to imagine myself shopping for a white dress and veil._

_"We're not there yet," I explained gently, my eyes never leaving the green irises that continued to swirl with displeasure. "But one day, I hope we will be."_

_I nodded to Adam with a smile, his eyes beginning to recover the gleam that made my heart flutter. He nodded his own approval, the smile on his lips coming back in full force. _

_"Aw," Chris and Jay wailed, mimicking both the tone and volume of their wives own exclamation._

_Needless to say, it took quite some time before the crimson color fully drained from my cheeks._

* * *

_"...who love each other can share. Marriage symbolizes the intimate sharing of two lives, yet this sharing must not diminish but enhance the individuality of each partner. A marriage that lasts is one which is continually developing and in which each person is individually developing, while growing in understanding of the other. Deep knowledge of another is not something that can be achieved in a short time, and real understanding of the other's feelings can develop fully only with years of intimacy. This wonderful knowledge of another person grows out of really caring for the other so much that one wants to understand as completely as possible what the other is feeling."_

Adam's smooth tenor reverberated through my being. All of the words he read, I felt. He started his oration as if he was just reading the words. But the more he read, the more it became quite clear that the feelings were true to our own lives. These were not the exact words that the pastor read at my parents' own ceremony but they were fashioned around similar fundamentals: a marriage between two individuals coming together as one unit but with their own uniqueness intact. A relationship that was ever changing as the partners grew to know each other more; as they grew into their lives as companions for the rest of their time on Earth.

"If I agree to your outrageous guest list, can we get married at the chapel?"

The words that left my lips startled even myself. Adam stopped reciting the speech in front of him and turned his gaze to fall upon my slightly bleary eyes. Hearing his words - even if they weren't his own - made me realize that the actual schematics of the ceremony were not as important as the feeling behind it.

Adam reached out for my hand once more and the book tipped slightly in his grasp. A picture that was lodged inside of its pages fell near our sitting forms. A bittersweet smile graced my lips as I stared down at a picture of my mother and father at the altar on their wedding day. I had seen the photo many times before, but it wrought so much emotion because of the timing of this viewing. I wanted what they had - a love that was meant to last a lifetime.

"Sure," Adam answered, as I looked up and saw my smile reflected on his own lips.

Mine grew a little brighter as I launched myself into his chest, my arms encircling his form. He chuckled but returned the embrace, pressing his nose into the crook of my neck. Just thinking about getting married at the chapel - having pictures that would be reminiscent of my parents' ceremony - made everything else seem trivial. I didn't really realize it, but that was my true hesitation about the planning. I subconsciously knew that my dream was to be married there, and I didn't want to accept anything less.

"Alright. My turn," Adam said, pulling back to press his forehead to mine. His eyes glittered as a grin formed on his lips. "I will accept a wedding in the Spring if..."

He cut off his statement as he reached for the discarded wedding book. I looked at him expectantly, my eyes having widened in anticipation.

"If?" I posed cautiously.

"If I choose any vows from this book as our own," he remarked, raising his brow humorous while his grin grew larger on his lips. He flipped back toward the 'anarchist' ceremony and I shook my head in laughter.

"You are such an ass," I murmured, pulling away from him to rise from the bed.

I stood and stretched my arms over my head. Even if we hadn't solved everything, it was a start. We were going to get married in New Jersey. So what if the congregation of well-wishers was probably going to be twice of what the small chapel could house? We would figure it out. I had confidence in that now. Adam may have gone through this very same procedure twice in the past, but this time he wanted to make it last.

"_I take you as my wife_."

My hand was grasped and I turned back around to face the sitting blond. Instead of seeing a sarcastic display of affection based on vows that we would never recite, Adam was serious and tender. The book was turned back toward the end, my parent's picture lying as a marker in the fold of the page. His tone held reverence and love that spoke more than the words he said.

"_I pledge to share my life openly with you, to speak the truth to you in love; I promise to honor and tenderly care for you, to cherish and encourage your own fulfillment as an individual through all the changes of our lives_."

Companions for life... Adam and Nami Copeland.

I liked the sound of that.

* * *

**Next Chapter - Dress shopping with the bridesmaids. Does that mean there is a wedding in the near future? Plus, a look back at Wrestlemania. **

Please review! :-) Catch you on the flipside! 3


	15. Born To Love You

A.N. - I don't own WWE and its associated Superstars. To everyone that had read and reviewed - **thank you! **I'm trying my best to get back into my writing. I actually have all of the dialogue written for the next chapter completed as well so maybe I will actually have an update sooner rather than later. I know that I have promised that in the past and failed to deliver so I won't do that now. :-) But I am going to make a real effort to keep up with this story more than I have been doing.

This may seem like a long - _mostly filler_ - chapter, but it is setting up the second half of the story... which begins in the next chapter. **Only 9 chapters left!** :-D

**Rated-R-Edgehead, Kris21xX, Always Straightedge and proud, and teeetotalled**- Thank you for your constant support! You all make this creative process much easier. ;-)

* * *

Saturday September 13, 2008  
2:15 PM - Tampa, FL: Diana's Bridal

"I don't know how I allowed myself to be talked into this."

"What? You do _need_ a wedding dress."

I raised my head from the clipboard in front of me to glare at my best friend. As much as I loved having Danielle visiting for the weekend, this was not how I envisioned the trip when she had first called. It was just supposed to be a nice weekend in sunny Florida for her. For me, it was a weekend away from the lackluster wedding planning sessions Adam and I had been having the past week.

After the first night of planning, there were no new details set. And even the ones that were proposed were still up for debate. Adam was not happy when he found out that Kirkpatrick Chapel was booked until March. He still envisioned a wedding in the coming months. All other details to him seemed secondary.

Which led me into the current situation of dress shopping with Danielle, Denise, and Jessica - my three bridesmaids. The idea to go dress shopping was Jessica's. I wasn't too keen on the suggestion, so I told Danielle hoping for some support. Unfortunately, she thought it was a great idea, especially if there was a chance at looking at bridesmaid's dresses as well.

"But we haven't even set a date," I stated, turning my pointed glare to the other two blondes sitting in nearby chairs.

"You still need one," Jessica said with a shrug, as she continued to flip through a few portfolios of dresses. I scoffed lightly, tapping the pen nervously on the paper in front of me. "Besides it will take at least a few months to make all the alterations."

"Just in time for your November wedding," Denise mocked with a grin.

"Please, don't start," I groaned with a shake of my head, looking back down at the clipboard in my lap. "I can't believe he got Jay to try and coax me into it. Next will be Chris."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Jessica said. "Chris feels like he still owes Adam a favor for keeping your friendship with him a secret."

"That's great," I mumbled under my breath, trying to concentrate on the form I was supposed to be filling out. But besides my name and contact information, nothing else was marked.

When we arrived at this small, but according to Jessica _'very upscale'_ bridal boutique, we were immediately greeted by a bridal assistant. Jessica had made an appointment last minute, but she was somehow able to get a time slot. She said it was because of _a friend of a friend_ type of connection with the owner of the salon. I tried my best to be thankful, but couldn't help but feel that this was not exactly the best idea. I shouldn't have been looking at dresses when I wasn't even sure what type of venue the wedding was going to be taking place at. A beach, a chapel... _a street corner?_ It was anyone's guess at the moment.

Teresa, the bridal assistant had gone over the basics with the four of us - the four main silhouettes for all bridal gowns, the different fabrics or blends that were chiefly used in many of their products, and the differing hues of white that were readily available. I was lost in a sea of taffeta and tulle, ivory and bright white. Everything sent my mind spinning. I had always envisioned myself in a princess-like ball gown, but after seeing just the samples, I wasn't so sure. I knew that I wasn't going to like any of the formfitting mermaid gowns, but the slight mix of fitted and ball gown that the a-line gowns had was quite appealing.

"Are you almost finished with that?" Danielle asked, startling me from my own thoughts. "I want to see you in some fancy-shmansy gowns."

"This isn't something I can just rush," I replied as I began to write down a few of my preferences, circling some items and crossing out others.

"You aren't restricted to what you write, you know?" she goaded, coming over to stand next to my chair so she could look at the form. "It's not like you are going to know what you want until you see it."

"Yeah," I murmured dejectedly, as I scrawled down my measurements in the provided boxes.

There was another reason for my slight apprehension and anxiety over this trip. As much as I appreciated my friends being here, subconsciously I knew there was a big, gaping, mom-shaped hole. Denise and Jessica both had already shared their stories of dress shopping and how it was such a bonding moment with their mothers. That they knew the dress was_ 'the one'_ when they saw the twinkle in their mother's eyes.

That was one look I would never get the chance to see.

"So how're you doing on that form?"

I jumped slightly in my seat, startled by Teresa's perky yet booming voice. I hadn't even heard her return. I perused my form before lifting my head, nervously chuckling as I handed her the clipboard.

"Done, I think," I muttered as she looked over the basic answers that I had filled out.

"Everything looks good," she replied, her gaze rising to beam happily at me. I tried my best to show the same optimism (this was for my wedding after all), but I knew the glee never reached my eyes. "Let me just take a look and I will pull some dresses for you to try on."

"Thanks," I responded, but she had already turned away and was headed back toward the store room. I sighed and looked back toward my three waiting friends.

"So... November?" Danielle posed, causing me to inwardly groan.

I had never told her about Adam's request. I didn't think it was worth sharing. But considering Adam had told Jay, who in turn told Denise, who had shared the news with Jessica, who most likely had told _anyone _who would listen, I should have told my best friend. I just didn't want to have another person pressuring me into a date I wasn't sure that I wanted. But finding out in such a casual manner - just from an offhanded comment from a woman she had known all of three hours - wasn't how she deserved to find out either.

"No... I doubt we will get married before Spring," I replied honestly. I was happy to see Danielle not making an attempt try to sway me otherwise. She seemed slightly relieved.

"Never say never," Denise said in a sing-song tone. "Adam can be very persistent when he wants something."

"I'm not fully ruling it out," I confessed. "It just seems like..."

My words drifted as my mind circled around to my principle objection to the rush to the altar. My living arrangements with Adam were still plaguing my every thought. Just looking around his house the past few days - every glance at a piece of furniture, a voice in my mind would speak up: _'Did Lisa buy this?' 'Did Alanah get this?' _Sitting out by the pool, my mind couldn't help but imagine what action its tepid water must have seen in days past. I knew my thoughts would only get worse as time went on.

I tried to vocalize these thoughts to my blond fiancé, but the words still couldn't find their way out. Besides, it wasn't like we were discussing much the past few days that wasn't directly related to the wedding ceremony we both were trying to create. I didn't want to make the proceedings anymore stressful than they already were.

"Seems like?" Danielle asked softly, leaning over to wave a hand in front of my face.

"Do you think I am settling in my relationship with Adam?" I asked, my tone just as far off as my mind still was. I heard a few shocked gasps from the women around me and knew that I had misspoke. I shook the glazed look from my eyes and turned to stare at the three surprised blondes. "I don't mean _with him_... but with how we are going about things."

The expressions on my companions' faces returned to a more calm composure. Danielle flopped back in her chair, miming that she had just suffered some great physical pain. I had to chuckle lightly at her dramatics, but was truly interested in their opinions. I had been keeping these thoughts bottled up in my own mind since my talk with my father. I needed to get some other point of view.

"Well, honestly... I was a little surprised when I heard you were moving down here," Denise offered genuinely, as my attention shifted to her seated form. She shrugged her shoulders. "I always figured that you and Adam would get your own place somewhere that you _both_ decided upon."

"Yeah," I scoffed under my breath, knowing that I should have thought more about the decisions that I had made. "I'm beginning to think that it would have been smart."

"You can still do that, you know?" Jessica posed with a beaming smile. Denise didn't seem to wholeheartedly agree, but the bubbly blonde continued to try and set my mind at ease. "It's not like you are being forced to live in that house with him."

"I know, but it's not like I can just move out," I explained. That was something I would never do. I didn't want to leave Adam's house without him. "I don't want to leave really. I just..."

"Want a place all your own," Denise finished before the words could leave my lips.

I parted my lips to reply, but saw Teresa returning from the corner of my eye. I sighed and just nodded my head, slinking back into the cushion of my chair. I was happy to see that at least someone empathized with my situation and mindset, but was unsure if anything would come from that common understanding. Worst come to worst, all it would do is prompt her to talk to Jay who in turn would talk to Adam... well, that would be one way to start the conversation.

"Am I interrupting something?" Teresa asked, taking in the four of us. We (well_, they_) were nowhere near as eager as before. I had cast a gloomy cloud over this whole affair with my discussion of heavy personal matters. I wanted to try and at least get some of that excitement back, if for nothing but my friends' sakes. I shook my head at Teresa, who just smiled as she gestured to the two garment bags in her grasp. "I figured we would start with the two silhouettes that you liked. First, the traditional ball gown."

She placed one of the garment bags on an empty rack before turning to me with the other. I timidly smiled at my three companions before rising from my seat to accept the outstretched plastic. Teresa motioned with her hand to a small curtained enclosure next to our seating area. I tried my best to keep all of my circling emotions in check as I walked the short distance and entered the small dressing area.

"Keep it together, Nami," I muttered to myself as I placed the hanging bag on a hook nearby.

It really wasn't the brightest idea to talk with my friends about such weighty matters during this shopping trip. This was the _Mecca_ of all purchases in a woman's life and I really needed to be fully invested. Once upon a time, I thought the idea of needing to find that special dress was all bullshit just perpetuated by horrible romance movies and fairytales. Now that it was my moment, I realized how wrong I was. I wanted the perfect dress - _my perfect dress_ - to go with the perfect man that I was set to marry.

Pushing all heavy thoughts of my future from my mind, I unzipped the plastic and pulled the gown through. I squinted as the full ball gown was the brightest shade of white I had seen. My eyes tried to scan over the other features of the dress, but kept being blinded by the starkness of the hue. I figured that maybe I would have better luck with my perusal if I was actually wearing the gown.

After many a moment of struggling to wiggle into the fitted bodice and not get caught up in the full ball gown skirt, I turned to stare at my reflection in the full length mirror on the wall. The white hue totally washed me out because of my fair skin. There was so much taffeta and tulle in the skirt that I felt that I could barely walk, never mind the fact that I could probably hide all of the Smackdown roster underneath. The fullness of the skirt contrasted so greatly with the fitted bodice that was adorned with crystals and other beading. I looked so out of proportion that I began to laugh.

"What's so funny? I want to see!"

My laughter continued with Danielle's exclamation. I made sure that the back of the dress was fastened - even though it was impossible to fully close it on my own - before pushing back the curtain and coming to stand in front of my friends. The reactions were immediate and just as disapproving as mine.

"That color is blinding!" Danielle shrieked, moving her gaze away as if she couldn't look at it any longer. I didn't blame her in the slightest as my retinas were still bleeding from the sight.

"It's white," Jessica replied coolly, even though she too looked unimpressed with the gown.

"That's the whitest white I have ever seen," Danielle retorted, crossing her arms over her chest and sinking into her chair.

She had just met Denise and Jessica this morning. While they all seemingly had no problems getting along, there was a little underlying tension between them. I wasn't exactly sure as to the cause, but I didn't want any more problems on my plate. I already had more than my fair share.

"It's considered 'stark white,'" Teresa explained, coming up behind me to fully zip and fasten the gown to my form. "It is the crispest shade of white we offer."

"She looks even paler than normal," Denise said with a small grin.

"Thanks a lot," I grumbled sarcastically, even though that was my exact original thought. This shade of white was not made for someone of my skin tone.

"Besides the color, what do you think of the dress?" Teresa asked, obviously trying to get some actual constructive feedback instead of just an assault of the color.

"It's too... too puffy," I tried to explain, bringing my hands down to the skirt and pulling it away from me to show the width. "Well, not exactly _puffy_. I like some volume, but not this."

I held up a few bunches of the ruffled taffeta that made the gown look three sizes too big for my size. She nodded her head and seemed to mentally take my suggestion into account.

"And the crystals. Way too much going on," Jessica said, motioning in the air with her hand at the beaded floral pattern that adorned my torso.

"Agreed," Denise said and I nodded my head in support.

I looked to Danielle, but she just shrugged her shoulder and fidgeted in her seat, tossing a slightly cold glare toward the other two blondes. I groaned - so much for no new problems. It seemed like it was just a case of high school era rivalries all over again. _'I was her friend first'... 'I'm not going to be replaced.'_

"Would you like to try the other gown?"

I nodded my head at Teresa's query and turned away from the juvenile scene. Nothing seemed to ever run smoothly. I grasped the next garment bag and walked back through the curtain. I hoped that the drama would be kept to a minimum. Even if I didn't find a dress, I wanted to at least leave the salon with all three of my friendships intact.

The stark white gown was exchanged for a dress with a much different hue as well as cut. There was no big hoop skirt. No taffeta, no tulle, just a much more muted white satin. The a-line gown was fitted to my form until the dropped waist where the satin flowed into a relaxed fit skirt. There was no real body to it. Instead of beadwork, the dress was embellished with lace along the lower torso and bottom of the skirt. The dress also was adorned with small lace cap sleeves that flowed into a small lace ruffle at the top of the bodice. It was very elegant, but I really didn't think it was truly me. There was just something about it that didn't seem right.

I pulled back the curtain and surveyed the four expressions that stared back at me. There wasn't any real outward expression of emotion either positive or negative.

"The sleeves are... nice?" I said, reaching up to run my fingers along the sheer lace that covered my shoulder.

"They make you look older," Danielle replied.

"Well, that's a good thing," I joked, thinking about the age gap that existed between myself and my betrothed. If the dress made me look a little more mature, I would take that as a positive.

"Not exactly," she responded with a frown, raising her hand to run the length of my standing figure. "You look matronly."

"The color is much better," Denise quickly imparted, before I could even offer a response to Danielle's statement.

I understood why Denise was trying to move the conversation along. She didn't want me to be offended by what Danielle had said. But I wasn't in the slightest. She was right. It really wasn't the dress a twenty-five year old should be getting married in... well, not _this_ twenty-five year old anyway.

"Yeah... it's nice," I said, in response to the statement about the hue. My skin tone was complemented much better than the brighter shade. "But Dani's right. I'm a little too young for this dress."

"Try fifty years too young," Danielle scoffed, but I saw a small smile form on her lips. I knew that my endorsement meant something to her and would go a long way into making this day go much more smoothly.

"Let me pull a few more," Teresa stated, realizing that neither of her picks were a hit at all. "I think I have a better idea of what you are looking for."

I nodded as she headed back toward the storeroom. I quickly retreated back into the dressing alcove, put both dresses back in their respective bags, and pulled on the complementary dressing robe that was hanging nearby. I stepped back out from the curtain and returned to my seated friends. I chuckled and went to ask their real opinions about the dresses.

"So, you would really leave Florida?"

Danielle's query stalled all thoughts of wedding gowns. _Back to reality._ I sighed and realized that this was of my own making. I wanted their advice. I couldn't just go back on my earlier convictions. I was being pulled internally in two directions. That was a feeling I was all too accustomed to - _writer_ or _wrestler_, _Jeff_ or _Adam_.

"I wouldn't leave without Adam," I answered truthfully. "I just don't think I will ever be okay with living in his house. It needs to be _our_ house."

"I agree," Denise replied. "I could always bring over some literature. You and Adam can look at some houses nearby, if Adam is intent on staying in the neighborhood."

"Well..." I started with a nervous chuckle. "I haven't actually talked to him about this yet."

"Surprise, surprise," Danielle muttered mockingly, shaking her head at my lack of communication.

"I'm just trying to find the right time," I explained, even though I knew how horrible of an excuse it was as soon as it left my lips. I decided to just go with it. I didn't want to do some heavy soul searching in a bridal salon as I tried to uncover a subconscious reason that I was putting off the discussion. "We have been spending the last few days trying to agree on wedding details."

"And how is that going?" Jessica asked, even though I could tell from the gleam in her eyes that she had a very good idea of what the answer would be.

"Not well," I replied with an exasperated sigh, my mind drifting back to all of the details that neither of us could agree on. Location, date, size... nothing at all. At least we had agreed on marrying each other. "It seems that we want totally different things from the ceremony."

"Compromise?" Denise posed cheekily, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I chuckled, and went to respond but heard Teresa's returning footfalls. I shook my head and smiled at the newcomer.

"Easier said than done," I muttered.

"Let's try this one first. It is an a-line silhouette, but with a much fuller skirt," Teresa explained as she handed me another garment bag. "A sort of melding of the two."

I returned behind the curtain and pulled on the new gown. The dress was once again in the stark white hue. I groaned at the sight, but tried my best to take in the other facets of the gown. The dress was a full satin shell with taffeta hidden to flesh out the skirt. The bodice was a v neck cut with two straps for sleeves. It allowed a much fuller bust line than the other dresses, something that I was sure my fiancé would approve of. There were crystals and lace that lined both the top and bottom of the torso. The hidden taffeta gave the skirt some volume, but the satin overlay allowed for waves of fabric to form the outline of the dress. I liked the skirt, but still didn't think the dress was for me. I knew just from the hue that my friends would agree.

"My eyes! My eyes!"

I laughed at Danielle's outburst as soon as I swung back the curtain. She reached up and covered her eyes.

"This dress comes in other shades," Teresa said. "This is the only sample we have."

I just nodded, but knew that it wasn't only the color that was hindering a positive reaction to the dress. In my eyes, it looked more like a prom queen's dress than a wedding dress. It just wasn't my style. Too much glitter and glitz.

"You don't like it," Denise stated evenly, being able to gauge my feelings from my lackluster expression.

"It's just... not right," I replied, not exactly sure how to explain why without sounding ridiculous. Wedding gowns were supposed to be statement making, but I was looking for something simpler. I wanted something that radiated classic elegance. "And it's not just the shade."

"Yeah. I'm not a fan of the waist," Danielle imparted, making me look down my torso toward the fabric at the dropped waistline. "It makes you look much more... hippy."

Laughter erupted from all of us as we knew what Danielle said was true. The skirt began to extend right at the drop waist, making my hips seem much larger than they were. I nodded in my best friend's direction, happy to see that maybe the tension from earlier had fully dissipated. Even if we were not as close in proximity anymore, she was still my closest female confidant. Denise nor Jessica would never take her place. Maybe she was finally realizing that.

"Okay. Well, there is no way that this dress is hippy," Teresa said, as I turned my attention back to the sales assistant. She handed me another garment bag. "I know, you didn't specify a mermaid cut on the form, but I thought maybe we should try. Just see what you look like in it... how you feel?"

"Sure," I replied with a shrug, thinking that maybe the dress would surprise me. The dress silhouettes that I had picked were not exactly fitting me the way I imagined they would.

Back in the dressing alcove, I carefully pulled myself into the form fitting satin. As soon as I laid eyes on the fabric, I knew that it may not be my dress, but was definitely the hue and feel I was looking for. It was a soft ivory satin that really completed my skin tone. It might not have been the true white that most brides covet, but it was exactly what I wanted.

The dress was another story.

After finally being able to zip the snug gown, I stared at my reflection in shock. I actually looked good. I was sure that the more form fitting silhouette would highlight any flaw in my figure. I hadn't been as conscious about my fitness since departing WWE. I was much more softer around the edges than I had been a few years ago. But the ivory satin just encased my form like a glove. There was no lace or crystals to draw the eye away. It was just one long waterfall of tight-fitting satin. The sweetheart neckline gave my chest coverage without the need of sleeves. The skirt fanned out just above my knee in the mermaid tail style that was customary with this style of gown.

But no matter how good I thought I looked, I knew deep down that it wasn't right.

"Damn, you look amazing," Danielle gaped as soon as I walked through the curtain.

"I second that opinion," Jessica said with a nod.

"I think you found your dress," Denise exclaimed with a clap of her hands. "Adam will go nuts when he sees you."

"So is that four yes's?" Teresa posed, gesturing me to look in the full length standing mirror nearby.

I stared at myself, thinking that maybe my friends were right. The dress was quite flattering and I knew Adam would love it. I reached up and pulled my hair back, trying my best to imagine myself on my wedding day. It was still hard to picture with so few details actually been decided upon. Yet there was one constant: Adam. He would be waiting for me at the end of the aisle. I tried to picture his face, his eyes lighting up as soon as he saw me coming his way. And it was at that exact moment that I knew I was right.

"No," I muttered with a shake of my head.

"No?!"

All three blondes had vocalized their outrage. Danielle even jumped up from her seat. I held up my hand to still any further disapproval from my friends. I turned to Teresa with a sad smile on my face, resigned to the fact that the dress I may be picturing in my mind just was an impossibility.

"The color is perfect, and the fabric, but... it's just not me," I explained, running a hand down the satin that fit on my skin like a glove. "It may be Adam, but it's not me."

"Has the Florida sun melted your brain?" Danielle joked, returning to her seated position but still just as shocked. "You look amazing!"

I waved her off and returned to the dressing alcove. I carefully took off the gown and returned it to the garment bag. I was contemplating just getting back into my clothes and calling it a day. Maybe I just had too much on my mind to truly give the dresses the appraisal they deserved. If I came back with a much clearer mind... but when would _that_ be? I sighed, pulling back on the dressing gown before returning to my friends.

"You are crazy," Danielle mumbled as I retook my seat adjacent to her. "So crazy."

"Teresa thinks she has your dress," Jessica said, her tone revealing her lack of confidence in that notion being true.

"Really?" I mused with a curt chuckle. "I was beginning to think this was a lost cause."

"You'll know when it is right," Denise offered amiably before gesturing her head to the returning Teresa.

I stood once more and grasped the outstretched bag. From the clear plastic window I could tell that it was the same ivory satin that I had already tried on, but the heft of it proved that this dress was no mermaid. I smiled at the joyful sales assistant and made my way back behind the curtain.

As soon as I pulled the gown free from its plastic confines, I had to catch my breath. It was... exactly what I had always pictured. I ran my fingers over the cinches in the full skirt and felt a wave of emotion crash over me. The gown could not be on me fast enough. A few tugs and zips later and I was staring at my reflection through the unshed liquid emotion that was threatening to fall.

"I found my dress."

* * *

_Sunday March 30, 2008  
9:35 PM - Orlando, FL: Citrus Bowl_

_"You sure you are ready for this?"_

_"I've been preparing for this match all week."_

_"I know. But still... nerves?"_

_"Always."_

_Adam chuckled at my answer, reaching out to grasp my hand in his. He was the one actually competing in the main event of the WWE's biggest pay-per-view of the year, and yet I was the one who seemed to be the worse for wear. The show was underway and his match was shortly upon us. We were sitting with much of the competing talent in the large commissary area watching the event on the large monitor. You could barely get any conversation from many of the attendees a few moments ago as Ric Flair wrestled his last match._

_I hadn't seen much of the match as I spent most of the time watching my boyfriend's reactions. His eyes lit up like he was the same young kid whom watched Wrestlemania live for the first time all those years ago in Toronto. In those twenty minutes, wrestling seemed 'real' to him again and even though everyone knew the outcome, for a few moments, you could actually see the belief in his eyes... belief that one of his childhood heroes could overcome the odds and continue his illustrious career._

_Of course, it wasn't to be. This whole weekend was at times a glorified celebration of Ric Flair's career. A few parties, a Hall of Fame ceremony, and Wrestlemania itself. Just from the amount of reverence that was paid to the man from all of his colleagues, I figured that it was definitely a deserving honor. But now that all of the sentimental emotion was out of the way on the card, everything was gearing up for the main event - the Title versus the Streak._

_Being undefeated at Wrestlemania was Undertaker's most acclaimed WWE achievement. Being the competitor that got to try and end 'The Streak' was known as an honor among the WWE Superstars. The matches were always one of the marquee bouts on the card, even if a title wasn't on the line. But this year, all of the stars aligned. It was truly the match everyone was waiting to see. And being Adam's first Wrestlemania main event, I knew that he was going to do everything to live up to all of the high expectations that were put upon him._

_"Just be safe out there?" I posed with a grin, leaning over from my chair to lay my head on his shoulder._

_"I always am, beautiful," he responded, winding his arm around my leaning form and pulling me almost fully onto his chair. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, looking back down at the comic book on the table. He was doing his best to keep all of the butterflies at bay until the moment actually arrived._

_"Liar," I mumbled into his neck, trying my hardest to keep from thinking about the main event myself._

_"You're worse than Ma," he murmured to himself as a smile tugged at the corners of his lips._

_Adam's mother was also present at the arena tonight. She was currently in a skybox with a few of Adam's friends and family that had flown in from Canada for the show. I think Jay - even though he was currently employed by a rival company - was attending. Adam wasn't fully sure and my curiosity wasn't heightened to the point where I wanted to leave his side. Besides, I was still not fully comfortable around the Copeland family. They were nothing but friendly and compassionate to me, but I still felt awkward, especially if my blond fiancé would not be at my side._

_When it came close to the main event, I was going to have to venture up there to get Adam's mother (I still wasn't used to calling her Judy, no matter how much she insisted). WWE had a few seats near the barricade on the hard camera side blocked off for family members of the wrestlers whom were competing in the ring. The whole night was a big game of musical chairs, but both Judy and I were going to get the honor of sitting only a few yards away to the main event. It was going to be the first time since my departure from the company that I would be so close to the action. _

_"You girls kick ass out there."_

_Adam's statement perked my interest. I pulled away from my fiancé's shoulder and followed his gaze. Both heel competitors for the Divas match tonight were getting ready to head toward the curtain. Beth adjusted her gold headband before shooting Adam a smile._

_"We will," she replied confidently, but my attention was on her tag team partner for the night._

_I smiled at Melina, giving her a timid wave. She just nodded before walking away to catch up with some of the other Divas whom were serving as lumberjills for the match. I frowned, but knew that I shouldn't have been that surprised. We had shared a few pleasantries at the Hall of Fame ceremony the night before, but that was when there was a roaming photographer ready to snap pictures for the website at any moment. Tonight, it was back to the cold demeanor I was used to whenever we crossed paths, which thankfully wasn't often. My former roommate and friend just could not put my past deception behind her. _

_"If I don't see you, steal the show out there tonight," Beth said, reaching over and squeezing his shoulder in a friendly gesture._

_"That's what I'm planning on," Adam replied with a wink._

_Beth grinned before turning and following the rest of the Divas out of the area. It didn't take long before the Divas and 'Master of Ceremonies' Snoop Dogg were making their way down the long ramp at the Citrus Bowl to the ring. I looked at the screen and thought back to my own Wrestlemania experience. It seemed like the lumberjill matches were now a Wrestlemania mainstay - a way to get all of the Divas on the card. Even though I was never a fan of product, just going out in front of that large of a crowd was exhilarating. There really was no comparable adrenaline rush._

_"Bring back any memories?" Adam whispered in my ear, seeing my attention was focused on the large screen._

_"Yeah..." I replied, as Santino accompanied Melina and Beth down the ramp. I frowned once more, thinking about how I really couldn't consider any of the women flanking or in the ring even remote friends. I was never that close with many of them, but last year at this time, I was in their shoes. I felt like one of them. Now, I was just an outsider, and in some of their minds, I was even less than that. "Not all good ones though."_

_Adam just patted me on the leg before returning his attention to the pages of his comic book. He would go back and watch the event in a few days. For now, he was just keeping himself relaxed. I couldn't blame him._

_I tried my best to watch the screen, but memories of my own time as a lumberjill last year prevented me from becoming engaged. I did not miss competing. Those last few weeks of my short WWE career were brutal on my body. I didn't know how they did it for so long without just physically breaking down. Muscles I didn't even know existed were sore, my skin had a myriad of faint purple markings, and a few Advil every four hours became a customary routine._

_There was a saying among the WWE talent that you may not work when injured, but you always work hurt. It was the truest idiom I had ever heard. And the worst pain I ever felt because of my life in the ring was nothing compared to what the veterans on the roster went through day in and day out. I saw that first hand with Adam, but it affected all of them. I was just surprised that they all were able to hide it so well. Smiling or smirking faces, positive demeanors..._

_"Cena! If you don't fucking get off my case, I will make sure Hunter isn't the only one to get a few stiff shots tonight."_

_Well, Randy didn't count._

_"Please. Calm down."_

_The quiet plea from a slightly showing Samantha Orton seemed to do little to quell whatever had perturbed the Legend Killer. I watched as she pulled him to the side and whispered something in his ear. He reached out and placed a hand on the slight bump on her stomach, eyes falling shut as he tried his best to get over his anger. I pulled my gaze from the couple and looked to the source of his frustration. _

_His best friend had ignored Randy's threat and returned to listening to his headphones, psyching himself up for his match. I had only seen the West Newbury native for a few moments since arriving at the arena, as he was already getting into his intense 'game mode.' This night was the reason he worked so hard to rehab his recent pectoral injury. Nothing would stand in his way of performing on the biggest stage._

_"Things never seemed this tense before," I muttered, my eyes shifting between the two friends and their contrasting displays of emotion. "Even John and Randy are at odds - well, at least Randy thinks so."_

_"It's Wrestlemania," Adam replied matter-of-factly, his eyes never rising from the page in front of him. _

_"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I mused derisively._

_Sam leaned up and placed a kiss on Randy's cheek before making her way out of the commissary. I figured that it was probably time for her to head out into the arena, as the Divas match was winding down. Randy didn't watch her leave, instead just slammed his fist against the wall and went off in the opposite direction._

_"Paul! Remember we have to cut a few minutes out of the match." _

_The pregnant but still actively working head of the WWE Creative team brushed past our table in a frenzy. My eyes followed as she sought her husband whom was busy taping up his wrists. She pulled out a chair in front of him, but he didn't lift his eyes from his task. _

_"I know" ... that was all Stephanie got from the Cerebral Assassin, as he set the excess roll of tape aside and started to tighten the laces on his boots. _

_"Dad's flipping out cause we are already running long," Stephanie explained, nervously drumming her fingers on the table._

_I figured that it was probably because of Ric Flair's retirement match. Adam told me that it was only slotted for fifteen minutes of actual ring time as they were unsure of how long of a quality match the Nature Boy could still have. Adam said that Ric could perform in an iron man match if it was for Wrestlemania. This was when everyone brought their A games, and tonight was no exception. The match had run longer than their allotted time, but never lost any of its quality. That was probably due to the fact that Shawn Michaels was still one of the best storytellers in the ring on the roster (or at least that is what Adam had told me). But even from the eyes of only a casual watcher, I could tell that the match was special._

_"I've got this," was the gruff reply. _

_"Just make sure Orton knows," Stephanie vented exasperatedly before rising and darting out of the area once more. Her husband just continued looking at his boots, making sure that he was ready for action._

_Watching the two couples interact was quite interesting. Neither of them really resembled the relationship Adam and I had. Everything just seemed all business for the Levesque duo, but that was probably just because of the situation. This was their workplace after all; it was sometimes hard to remember that this was actually a profession when Adam would seemingly do it for free. I had seen the two of them interact before and it was always slightly detached. Best to keep some things personal so not everything gets mixed up in the workplace, even with the high profile marriage that they did have._

_Randy never kept much to himself and no one could ever really filter him. Even Samantha wasn't that successful. The only thing that seemed to be mellowing out a little of his fire was the fact that fatherhood was fast approaching. It hadn't fully sunk in yet, but I could tell that Randy realized that it wasn't all about him anymore. He just needed constant reminding at the moment. Once there was a little Orton crawling around... that would be the only reminder he would need._

_"Is your match being cut as well?" I asked, returning my attention to the now grinning blond._

_"Someone was eavesdropping," Adam said in a melodic tone._

_"If you know that I was snooping, obviously you were as well," I retorted, shoving him playfully._

_"Steph's voice travels," Adam replied with a shrug, flipping the page of his comic before raising his eyes to meet my own. "And no, Mark and I have over twenty minutes to work with. Unless something drastically changes, we are good to go."_

_"Twenty minutes?" I groaned, leaning forward so my head fell on his shoulder as before. "Ugh, you are going to be the death of me."_

_Adam laughed, swinging his arm around my chair once more. A comfortable silence fell over our table for a few moments. But just as quick as it came, the calm was disrupted by the boisterous arrival of Adam's two protégés. Brian and Matt - or Curt and Zack to the WWE Universe - took two of the empty chairs on the other side of the table. This was their first Wrestlemania and even though they weren't actively competing, the excitement just radiated off of them._

_"Do you see how many people are out there?"_

_I just laughed as the two younger wrestlers engaged Adam in conversation. He was happy to oblige, as he saw a lot of himself in the duo. This was their dream and they were actually getting to live it. Wrestlemania had a way of bringing out the excitement in everyone. During the year-long, no breaks, season, it was easy for WWE talent to feel defeated and rundown... until Wrestlemania came around. Last year, I even remember getting caught up in the bright lights and pageantry of it all. For someone who wanted this their whole life, I couldn't imagine the emotions running through them._

_"I'm going to get some water," I interrupted, my gaze falling upon my seemingly relaxed boyfriend. Even Brian and Matt's enthusiasm wasn't getting him antsy. You need anything?"_

_"I'm good," Adam replied with a smile._

_"Guys?" I posed, turning to the two 'Edgeheads.'_

_"I could go for some water," Brian said with a smile._

_"Then get off your ass and get some," Matt replied jokingly, slapping his friend on the back of his head. "It's not the Mrs.'s job to serve you."_

_"I did offer," I said through laughter as I rose to head toward the catering setup at the end of the room._

_"See?" Brian retorted, returning the slap that he received to his tag team partner's arm._

_I just shook my head, smiling as I walked over to the beverage coolers. I reached in for two bottles of water. Before I could fully pull them back, my world was thrown into darkness and I was left with the warm feeling of fingers being pressed over my eyes. I chuckled before lightly pushing my elbow back into my assailant's chest. The hands fell away and I spun around with a grin on my face. _

_"I'm not falling for anymore of your tricks, Cena," I mused, my mind thinking back to my Royal Rumble fiasco._

_"Keep telling yourself that," John replied, reaching up to adjust the orange baseball cap on his head._

_"So what did you do to get Randy all riled up?" I posed curiously, remembering how livid the man had seemed a few minutes ago. _

_"Nothing," John attested, holding up his hands innocently._

_"Really?" I scoffed disbelievingly, knowing that Randy would not just flip out at his best friend unless something serious had occurred. _

_"Just some personal shit," John relented with a shrug. "No need for any concern." _

_"Well, all of my memories of a very perturbed Randy Orton involved huge hissy fits and hotel trashing to follow," I recalled with a laugh._

_"You got me there," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. His gaze flicked around the commissary before returning to find my eyes. "But really - it's nothing. Just guy stuff."_

_"And I'm not one of the guys anymore?" I asked playfully, swinging one of the bottles of water playfully at his chest. "I did room with you all for a time, you know?"_

_"Not officially. Besides, you had your guy rights revoked," John replied, mirroring my mischievous tone. He jutted his arm backwards, extending his thumb toward the sitting blond Canadian. "Boss's orders." _

_"I guess I am just Adam's girlfriend now, huh?" I mused with a feigned sigh._

_"No. You're just Nami. Always have been, always will be," he stated as sincerely as I had ever heard any words escape from his lips. It always amazed me how easily he could go from joking around to being so intensely serious, especially when I didn't mean anything by my comment. "No title needed to define you."_

_"Aw, champ," I said, leaning up to kiss him on his dimpled cheek._

_"Not yet," he replied with a wink._

_"Cena! We need to go!"_

_Leave it to Randy to spoil the moment. But as my gaze fell upon the screen, I realized that the promo for the WWE title match was already being shown to the audience._

_"You coming to the after party?" John asked as we both walked toward Adam's table._

_"I think so," I answered. __I was unsure if Adam had anything planned with his friends and family after the show so I didn't want to make any commitments. But even if I didn't miss the WWE lifestyle, I did miss spending time with my friends._

_"Catch you then," John replied, lightly hitting Adam on the back of his head as he hustled out of the area to make his entrance. I stupidly waved at his departing form before retaking my seat. _

_"Thanks, Nam," Brian said as he accepted one of the water bottles. _

_"Don't mention it," I responded, opening up my own to take a long swig of the cold liquid. _

_"Look at this big happy family."_

_I turned over my shoulder and smiled as Vickie Guerrero came over to the table. After all of these months, I still wasn't used to seeing her be so amorous with Adam on the broadcasts. Getting to know the woman personally helped ease some of the irritable emotions that witnessing their public displays of affection seemed to bring about in me. I knew that they were just playing their parts, but they did it so damn well. _

_"Maybe when our interference doesn't work, Nami can come to your aid," Matt posed with a grin._

_"Hey!" Adam exclaimed, his eyes alight. It was as if I could see his mind spinning with ideas._

_"Don't get any ideas," I warned, holding my hand up to still any of his thoughts._

_Laughter fell over the table. The members of La Familia talked about their respective roles in the match. Adam bounced slightly in his seat and I could tell all of his preparations to try and stay relaxed had failed. I smiled, looking at the anxiousness begin to flood Adam's demeanor. But soon, I found my gaze just shifting around the area again. _

_It was odd but in fifteen minutes, I had witnessed just a whirlwind of varying emotions. Anger, disinterest, intensity, calmness, laughter, and even some sadness. That was just how WWE worked and it was all heightened to amazing elevations when Wrestlemania rolled around. I counted my blessings that I was now just an outsider looking in._

_But as some could attest to, I always was._

* * *

I reached up to wipe away the tears that were threatening to fall. I spun around slowly looking at the ball gown from every available angle. The dress had an a-line waist, but was not as much of a dropped waist as the previous gown. The skirt was the exact fullness I had always desired, but no added embellishments to the satin. Instead, the skirt was cinched to give the appearance of waves of satin. Like the mermaid, it was made to look like it was all one piece of fabric, the princess-seamed bodice flowing flawlessly into the fuller ball gown skirt. The sweetheart neckline was accompanied by off the shoulder strap sleeves, allowing the back to drop slightly into a v along my spine.

"Are you ever going to come out of there?"

I couldn't answer Danielle's lighthearted inquiry. I didn't know if I was able to actually form words. The dress was still leaving me speechless. From the look upon my face, I figured my friends would be able to understand my feelings even if I stayed mute.

As soon as I walked into view, I was barreled into by a squealing Danielle. I wrapped my arms around her and chuckled along with her sing-song mantra of 'you found your dress.' We were quickly joined by the other two blondes, both grinning from ear to ear.

"It's perfect," I said with a smile, all three blondes quick to nod in approval.

Teresa beckoned me over to her, a simple ivory veil clutched in her grasp. The tears that had dissipated were beginning to form anew as she reached back and fastened my hair into a makeshift bun. The veil was clipped and repositioned and my gaze fell upon the mirror once more.

"Mrs. Adam Copeland," Denise exclaimed tenderly, my hand coming up to my face as the emotion overtook me.

The veil just made everything seem so much more real. Staring into my own reflection, my mind conjured images once again of Adam standing at the end of the aisle. But unlike my previous reverie, this time I could actually see myself staring back at him. I could see his eyes falling upon me and holding the emotion that I so longed to see - unconditional love and devotion.

"See? That wasn't so hard," Danielle joked, as she came over to my side.

"Yeah," I mumbled, still lost in my own daydreaming.

It was amazing how this one piece of clothing really could affect someone so greatly. Everything just seemed so much clearer. I knew that this was my future, no matter how uncertain I may have believed it was. This dress signaled the end of Nami Shepherd and the beginning of...

"Time for our dresses?" Jessica posed to the group.

I was not able to respond, but Danielle left my side and three blondes instantaneously began discussing ideas for colors and silhouettes. At the moment, all of their talking was just white noise. I was still lost thinking about the day that would change my life forever... and how I needed to start fighting to see that day actually come.

"Mrs. Adam Copeland."

* * *

**Next Chapter: Remembering the return of a friend... and a blast from Adam's past causes the communication floodgates to open up between the betrothed couple.**

_Please review! :-) Catch you on the flipside. _


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